blah bah blah. open. 

Simon Dean (Clearwater, FL, 210 pounds, lime green, w/Dean Machine) vs Gunner Scott (240 pounds) - Tony Chimel isn't sounding so good, and gets faked out on a high five by Simon. Gunner has no video and generic music, but he does have a pose. Your ref is Mysterious New Referee. I thought Cole might have said his name on SmackDown!, but I couldn't make it out. Lockup, waistlock, Gunner escapes with a drop toe hold, around into a front facelock, waistlock, Simon trying to get free but can't, so he goes to the ropes. Gunner takes his time letting go. Josh lists past KOTR winners: "Triple H, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Mabel, Brock Lesnar" - so you can mention Brock but not Ken Shamrock? Romero adds Bret; why don't they ever saw Owen? Gunner with a hammerlock, Dean looking for an escape, reverses to his own hammerlock, Gunner running, and sending Simon thru the ropes. Dean lands on his feet and is happy about, but gets pulled up by his hair. Dean gets in a shoulder to the midsection and comes back in. Dean with a corner whip, charge, Gunner gets up a boot, Dean grabs it an mocks him, Gunner knocks him down with the other boot. Gunner charge out, Simon's hiptoss is blocked, Gunner reverses to a fireman's carry, drop toe hold, La Majistral! One two no. Backslide, one t-no. Simon begs off in the corner and the Mysterio referee cuts off Ginner, allowing Simon to get in a kick. Corner whip, Gunner goes in chest first and hard. Simon with a quick middle rope elbow drop one two no. Kicks to the back. Stomp on the head. Josh on today's packed Velocity: "It's like an overdose! You could die from this! [awkward silence] Simon tries an abdominal stretch, but Scott quickly sneaks out into a inside cradle. Simon with a knee in the back chinlock. Gunner with elbows. Off the ropes, sunset flip, Simon blocks it and punches him. Curb (knee) stomp time. One two no. Simon misses on an elbow drop and Gunner starts punching. Whip, back elbow, clothesline, clothesline - looking like Benoit. The scream isn't like Benoit, though. Corner whip, corner clothesline.  Corner whip, reversed into a kick by Simon, off the ropes into an overhead belly to belly suplex one two three. (4:52)

the Miz annoys people. (1:15)

Orlando Jordan (Miami, FL, 257 pounds) vs Adrian Lynch (252 pounds, already in the ring) - Fans care enough to say "O J SUCKS". Lynch with an armbar, OJ reverses into a hammerlock. OJ with a headlock. Hammerlock. Announcers discuss Romero driving Paul London to the gym.  waistlock takedown, Lynch gets to the ropes but gets slapped anyway. Lockup. Adrian with a headlock. Shot off, Adrian over, blocks a hiptoss and lands on e of his own. Armdrag, armdrags, OJ not looking good getting over them, cover for one, and OJ obliterates Lynch with a clothesline. (Nice sell.) Stomps by OJ. Turnbuckle smash. Swinging neckbreaker. Stomp. Forearm to the head. Chinlock. Elbows out by Lynch, but he promptly runs into a knee. Stomp. Forearms to the back of the neck. Chinlock. Josh says OJ's mat wrestling is "pretty good"; sliding scale? Lynch battling his way up. Corner whip, head down too soon, Lynch gives him a small package, one, kickout, and OJ runs him over with a boot. OJ with some crossface forearms. Whip, Lynch off the ropes and into a spinebuster. OJ calling for the - what is it this time? Kick the midsection, leg DDT. (Romero: "Scissors kick!") one two three. (3:54) This one is surely the finisher that'll get him over! 

Rey in SmackDown magazine

Classic King of the Ring Crowning: Jake Roberts vs Steve Austin, 1996. Austin had just started using the Stunner as the KOTR started, and it's still quite mechinical looking here. 3:16 speech. 

Vito (245 pounds, w/Nunzio) vs Colt Cabana Chris Guy (230 pounds, already in the ring) - If Cabana appears on these shows any more, I think they're going to have to give him his own music. Vito has something to say? Do we want to hear it? "Shut your mouths! Things are going to change here in 2006, for the Fly Italian Guy. [Too bad he's not Austrian! Also, it's April.] No no no no no no; the [Italian and mumbled yelling English]! the paisan who's got it going on! I'm the King of Five Boughs, and I'll always be the neighborhood champ. I set my goals here in the WWE, and in 2006 and higher than ever, I'm going after the top, and the best you got, so you can bring it on. [turning to Chris] And I've got some news for you, my friend. Step a little closer, I want you to hear this, okay? The Staten Island Express is going run all of [turns to Nunzio] your face!" He turned to Nunzio to hand off the microphone, so he could clothesline Chris. That was quite a wretched promo but then again, he had nothing at all to say. Vito strips off half of his gear and punches Chris as Josh also notes it's April. Pounding the back of Guy's head. Vito fired up. Your ref is Chris Kay, in case you needed to know. Chinlock, yanking Chris around by the back of his neck and then yanking him around by his hair. Legdrop, one two NO. Chinlock. Guy trying to rally the crowd, but they're not with him wine he elbows and punches out. Vito misses a clothesline, and Guy gets an inside cradle one two no. Vito with a kneelift that must've been bad, the way they hide it. Vito yelling, and there's the DDT. One two three. (2:00) Nunzio in to talk to trash. I liked this act a lot better when Vito stood around doing nothing and Nunzio wrestled. Chris Guy gets thrown out of the ring, and Josh can't help but get in one jab: "cleaning out the trash".  

Classic Kind of the Ring Crowning: Bam Bam Bigelow vs Bret Hart, 1993.

SD: Randy Orton vs Kurt Angle [KOTR QF] (1:27)

Jamie Noble & Kid Kash (402 pounds) vs Funaki & Scotty 2 Hotty (403 pounds) - did they have a combo video last week? They do this week. Your ref is James. We've seen this match one or two times. Jamie and Scotty to start. Jamie informing Scotty that he's not in their league. He may have a point. SCOTTY. Lockup. Jamie spins him around into a snap mare, cover for one, and Jamie feels he's proven his point. Circle. Lockup, Jamie with a hammerlock, taking Scotty down to the mat, flipping him over to shi back, cover for one, and Jamie celebrates again. Shove for Scotty. Scotty gets angry, but also gets a boot. Turnbuckle smash - no, Scotty blocks it, and Jamie's going to take a bunch; one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Jamie stumbles into a Funaki punch, and a Scotty dancing punch. He's fired up. Jamie crawls to his corner and tags in Kash, who charges into a Scotty hiptoss. Armbar. Tag to Funaki, Funaki climbs up and comes down with an axhandle to the arm. Armbar, Kash tries to armdrag out, but Funaki holds on. Kash is more successful getting free with a knee to the midsection. Tag to Noble. Both work over Funaki with chops. Right. Chop. Whip, head down to soon, and Funaki kicks it. Tag to Scotty, who's on fire already - clothesline for Jaime, clothesline for Jamie, dropkick for Kash, and Jamie cuts him off with a knee. Corner whip, Jamie charges, Scotty moves and Jamie hits the corner. Jamie already stumbling in position, but ducks the bulldog. Scotty collides with Kash, but Jamie strikes him from behind and throws Scotty out to Kid Kash. Jamie annoys Funaki and distracts the referee as Kash goes to work - arm smashed into the steps, Scotty thrown back in. Jamie attacks the left arm; stomp, forearm, forearm, hammerlock, and shoulder first into the corner. Tag to Kash. Kneelifts by Kash, and then he's got a knee to the point of the arm. Scotty works his way up and tries to punch free, but Kash keeps hold of the arm and stops him with a kneelift. Corner whip, Kash backs up, then charges - that's enough time for Scotty to move out of the way. Will he make the tag to Funaki? Crawling, crawling - tag to Funaki. Funaki waits on the apron a moment for Kash to come towards him, and then gets him with a slingshot crossbody. Right and fir Jamie, right hand for Kash, inverted atomic drop for Jamie, kick catch enziguri for Kash, bulldog for Jamie, and Funaki is all fired up because he's got no one left o hit. Jumping knee for Kash, and it's time for him not to hit his finisher. Kash dutifully pushes Funaki off, directly into the path of a Jamie shoulderblock. Scotty in, Jamie misses a clothesline, and Scotty nails him with a five arm. Kash levels Scotty, and we're left with the two legal men. Funaki gets a waistlock rollup, one two Jamie breaks that up with a leg lariat.  Scotty up and nailing Jamie with a superkick, but Kash gets him form behind again, throwing Scotty out. Kash looks out at Scotty, and back at Funaki - Funaki backslide, one Kash escapes, brainbuster. Romero: "delayed suplex". One two three. (6:01) Well, they can't win again. Did Josh bail early? I guess so.

That's it.