the whatever is whatever. open.

Gymini (560 pounds, w/Simon Dean) vs Paul London & Brian Kendrick (369 pounds) - Your announcers are Romero and Josh. your ref is Chris Kay. No names, no peace. They've got new black trunks, though. Josh makes me laugh when he calls Romero "Sanchez." Josh: "Tony Chimel is an idiot." "That is true." London worked over by Gymini for a while. Is Animal now "the Road Warrior" now because Batista is the Animal? WWE.com plug here. London improbably teases punching his way free of both Gymini. Chris Kay is slow to count after a double flapjack and Kendrick breaks it up. London 'rana on one of the Gymini goes horribly wrong; Romero calls it "a modified heel kick to the back", which is also horribly wrong. Josh corrects. There's the hot tag to Kendrick anyway. Sliced Bread #2 Actually works, but Kay busies himself with London and the other Gymini for about a twelve count. One two NO. Kendrick tries corner punches, Kay distracts himself with the other Gymini for no reason (I think he was supposed to be given one), and Simon Dean helps his man get the advance. Dean distracts as Gymini toss Kendrick in the air, one two three. (6:52) 

WM21: Undertaker vs Mark Henry

Orlando Jordan (Miami, FL, 257 pounds) vs Ace Steele (already in the ring, 205 pounds) - It's been forever since OJ made this show, and that was a fine thing. Announcers discuss how they can't remember OJ's catchphrase. Plenty of Ace this weekend, but at least he appears to have a second pair of tights. Circle. Both looking for an opening. Lockup. OJ with a headlock. Shot off, shoulderblock. Circle. Lockup. OJ backed into the corner. Knee to the midsection. Forearm to the back. Choke in the corner by OJ. Corner whip, charge, Ace moves otu of the way - armdrags, armdrags, armbar.  Ace cranks the arm as OJ gets back to his feet. Knee to the midsection. Whip, OJ misses a clothesline, Ace keeps running, OJ throws him out, Ace lands on the apron and starts punching. Ace goes for a shoulder to the midsection, but OJ moves and Ace dives into nothing. Kick by OJ. Stomp. Stomp. OJ shoves Ace face first into the midsection. Gutbuster. Stomps. Josh and Romero debate "Ace Frehley" vs "Ace from American Idol". Bearhug. Ace punches his way free. OJ stops him with a knee, but Ace slips out on a slam and goes back to the punches. Whip, jumping back elbow one two NO. There's the corner dropkick. Ace celebrates, but doesn't get killed right away this time - it happens when he runs off the ropes in to an OJ spinebuster instead. Was that the Blackout? One two no (3:52)

Vito and Nunzio have a vignette which is actually a plug for the Godfather video game. Vito makes Nunzio look like Al Pacino here; it's quite the historic bad acting performance. Nunzio will only let him play the game if he wins tonight - intrigue! (:55) EA paid money for that! Scary.

SD: Angle vs Mysterio clips (2:32)
WM22: Kurt Angle vs Rey Mysterio vs Randy Orton [WORLD]

Vito (245 pounds, w/Nunzio) vs Funaki (Japan, 198 pounds) with Vito's video game privileges on the line - that's a new stipulation. FBI are all in the Dress Code Approved suits for whatever reason. Josh: "SmackDown's #1 Announcer hasn't done an interview on SmackDown in about two years...but he's still the #1 Announcer on SmackDown!" Your ref is Charles. Vito tries rushing Funaki and kinda slips before getting to him. Funaki starts the clapping. Lockup, Vito forces Funaki in the corner. Vito lets go, only to lay in many kneelifts. Forearms to the back. Headlock. Funaki elbows free, Vito off the ropes, shoulderblock. Vito off the ropes, over, into a Funaki hiptoss, into another, not really looking good, dropkick is fine. Funaki armbar and a yell. Josh is so excited about WrestleMania, he can't form coherent sentences. Vito tries to armdrag free, but Funaki holds on. Vito grabs him by the hair and backs him in the corner for more knees. Corner whip, Vito kips up and out, and Vito swats him down with a chest slap. Vito pounding the back of Funaki's head, and then the front of Funaki's head. Keeping him balanced. Whip, Vito big clothesline, one two no. Suplex, Vito backs up, legdrop, one two NO. Straight to a chinlock. Josh: "That's veteranism right there!" Today's Josh word of the day is "Sanchez Romero". Funaki fighting out of the chinlock, but running into a kneelift. Right hands. Josh wants to make Sanchez Romero t-shirts. Chinlock. Funaki fights up, forearmed down. Slam. Vito calling for the pump slash, but this week, it's back to missing. Vito grabs his wrist on landing. Funaki rallying, heel kick to the midsection, right hand, right, hard whip, atomic drop, ugly clothesline. Whip, backdrop, bulldog! Funaki's fired up. Turnbuckle smash for Vito, and Funaki sets up to fail at his finisher once again. Slap to the face, grabbing hold of Vito, and he's shoved off on the Rising Sun, a shocking turn of events! Vito kick, DDT. One two three. (5:37) Get that man a video game! Vito might have not made WrestleMania, but he's truly a big winner. Only Nunzio gets to raise Vito's arm.

That's it.