the power is back. open.

William Regal (Blackpool, England, 245 pounds, w/Paul Burchill) vs Scotty 2 Hotty (Westbrook, ME, 208 pounds) - I'm thinking Scotty should've thought to bring some backup. Scotty jumps into the fans quite a bit - he's big in New England. Romeo is a moron. Will Josh bring up "Scotty is why Paul Burchill is here"? Hmm. Circle. Crowd hyped for Scotty. Circle. Lockup, Regal with an armbar, wristlock, Regal is happy with it, Scotty escapes into a headlock. Josh: "I don't think Lashley could beat Lashely". I suppose it would have to be some sort of draw. Scotty shot off, back with a shoulderblock. Scotty is pumped. U S A U S A U S A. Circle. You ref is James Korderas, by the way. Regal's got another armbar, but Scotty is doing standard flipping to escape. Shot off, back with a shoulderblock, and he's pumped again. Regal begs off so he can check his nose. Scotty raises the roof. okay. Circling, Scotty keeping an eye on Paul. Regal with a full nelson! It's not the Masterlock, because Scotty can escape, and then puts on a headlock. Shot off a third time, this time Regal has a plan (!) to throw a punch, but Scotty grabs the ropes to stop, then trips up Regal. Walking over his back, off the ropes, jumping forearm. Headlock takedown, leaning him over, one two no. Paul is very worried about this headlock. Regal up and backing Scotty into the corner with some illegal tight yanking. Knee. Right. Corner whip, Regal rebounds into a backdrop. Right, and now Regal is begging off. Scotty always thinks this over. Regal retreats to a corner and, gets kicked there. Corner punches one two three four five six seven eight nine ten! Bust a move punch. Corner whip, Scotty waits for Regal to stagger out and whips him the other way. Scotty makes the Worm motion! I know, I didn't remember there was a worm motion either, but that's the bulldog he's going for right now. Regal senses and tries a left handed clothesline, but Scotty ducks and superkicks him. It's time. Scotty milking the hot crowd for all it's worth - W O R M (awful quiet there) who who who? - it's Paul Burchill in the ring, that's who! Scotty makes like the Rock (who) and immediately throws Burchill out the other side. Scotty looks out and mocks him, which is dumb. Regal, having recovered from that nap, waits for Scotty to turns around and gets him with a knee. There's the running knee to the head one two three. (4:18) So I guess Josh won't remember? Scotty didn't either, so I guess it's no big deal. No break - straight into

MNM vs Batista/Rey clips (3:49)

Jamie Noble (boy, Hanover, WC, 202 pounds) vs Damaso Whitney (Boston, MA, 202 pounds, already in the ring) - You know, it's been 462 days since we've seen Jamie around here last, but it only feels like yesterday. Spell it with me - N O B L E. Notice there's no K there. Thank you. Same hometown and music, new weight and tights, I think. That can't be Whitney's actual first name, but they're not helping me this week. Jamie is right on him as Josh is over Jamie's nicknames. Josh mentions New Japan, and I wouldn't bring them up if I were Josh. Josh lives on the edge and knows no one watches this show anyway. Jamie working over Whitney in the corner. Chops. Shoulder to the midsection, pulled out into the ring for a single leg, Jamie tries an elbow drop but Whitney moves. Whitney tries a headlock, and Jamie kills him dead with a back suplex. Jamie's pleased. Your ref is Chris, by the way. Noble lifting Whitney up to forearm him down. Scoop slam. Legdrop, one two no, one no. Jamie standing over Whitney, pulling his hair, and talking trash. Elbow to the face. Boot to the face. Hope Whitney didn't enjoy his face. Crowd not a fan of Jamie being happy. Choke on the ropes. Boot to the head. I wonder if Jamie is still rich? Fireman's carry into raised knees for a killer gutbuster that gets a replay. Dropkick to the face to hurt him a little more. Dragon sleeper? Yep. (2:29) Whitney didn't last long in the hold, not that Jamie was going to let go any time soon. Jamie celebrates on Whitney's carcass, and walks over him as part of his celebration.

Armageddon: Undertaker vs Randy Orton [HitC]
Armageddon: Juventud vs Kid Kash [CW]
Armageddon: MNM vs the Mexicools
Armageddon: Matt Hardy vs JBL 
Armageddon: Chris Benoit vs Booker T (w/Sharmell) in the Best of 7 Series for the US Title (Booker, 3-0)
Armageddon: Rey Mysterio & Batista vs Big Show & Kane in a non-title champions vs champions match

This is one super long segment (five matches this week), and they bridge us directly into

what the heck is up with Brian Kendrick & Paul London (366 pounds) vs Arch Kincaid & Scotty Charisma (380 pounds, already in the ring) - Gold masks, purple vests and long shorts with high boots, and otherwise unchanged. I dunno. Why wear a mask that you take off? This probably makes a lot of sense to someone who's not me. They've got gauntlets too. Kendrick and the guy who's not Arch to start. Arch: "KENDRICK, TAKE YOUR MASK OFF!" That's not nice. Your ref is Charles. Lockup, Kendrick with a hammerlock, reversed by Scotty, Brian reverses to an armbar, Scotty gets in a knee, into a headlock. Brian points at a rope for Scotty to run to, and Scotty helpfully does that, coming back with a shoulderblock. Scotty off the ropes, over, under, hiptoss. Brian with a scoop slam, one two no. Brian with a front facelock, Paul tags his back, and goes up - Mushroom Stomp. London has a goatee. An evil goatee? You could get that impression. London with a headlock, Scotty elbows out, London shoves into the ropes, ducks a clothesline, and nails Scotty with a chest side kick. Whip, punch to the midsection, sets up and kicks him in the chest to knock him over. Armbar, tag to Kendrick, top rope axhandle to the arm. Armbar. tag to London, top rope axhandle to the arm. London with an armbar, tag to Kendrick, elbowsmash to the arm. Kendrick with an armbar, but Scotty gets him with a forearm when he goes for a tag. That ticks off Brian, who throws Scotty back into the corner and pounds him down with headbutts and then kicks when he gets too low. Boot choke, tag to London. London to Charisma: "I don't know what you did, but you screwed up!" London kicks him down and yells some. London poses. Fans not sure what to make of this. Swinging corner dropkick to Charisma's chest. Tag to Brian. Double whip, double hiptoss, double kip up, combo chest/spine kicks. Arch is in on his own illegally because that's the only way going to happen at this rate - double back elbow for him, double punch for Scotty. Brian stops to cover Charisma, one two no. Front facelock, tag to London. Front suplex by Brian, London off the ropes for a rolling inverted head snap. London: "Please start clapping! Please!" Slam, off the ropes, rolling senton! One two NO - only because Arch breaks it up. London breaks him up with a forearm to the face. He's talking more trash when Scotty gets him with a forearm from behind. Forearms to the back, front facelock, tag to Arch! Arch takes over with a forearm of his own. Knees to the midsection. Whip is probably a bad idea, but Arch nails the clothesline. One two NO. Arch, having been in for like five seconds, goes to a chinlock variant. London tries to rally from the crowd, which confuses me. A few fans take up a Let's Go London chant, and he does come back. London elbows out, Arch with a forearm, and then a kick to keep control. Whip, backdrop, London lands on his feet and tags in Brian, double dropkick for Arch, double flapjack in for Scotty. Brian with elbows for Arch. Whip, in-ring tope for Arch. Tag to Paul. Crowd is very quiet, reacting only on moves. Double whip, Brian is whipped in with a hard jumping forearm, and London ands a dropkick. High ten, and they duck Charisma's double clothesline to deck him with a double superkick. Arch Kincaid, Get Well Soon. One two three. (5:16) Someone taught Romero to say "Complete Shot with combo enziguri", good for them. 

Doug Basham (Columbus, OH, 240 pounds) vs Todd Henson (Worcester, MA, 225 pounds, already in the ring) - wait, Doug Basham's still here? Next time you tell me Steven Richards still has a job. New tights for Doug - also, a hood to dramatically pull off when his name is announced. Your ref is Nick. Doug just drank - something - and pounded (or 'bashed') the can against his head before disposing of it. Circle. Doug talking all the way. Lockup, armdrag. Josh says it was a Simon System shake. Lockup, waistlock, headlock, armbar, Todd reveres, into a hammerlock, Doug with a back elbow to escape and a hiptoss. Boot to to Doug's face, snap mare one no. Doug talking trash, and backing Henson in the corner. Circle. Lockup, back heel trip, on top with a headlock. Back up to their feet, Henson using a shot to the gut to get a bit free, Doug shot off, shoulderblock, delayed cover, one no. Romero: "He's not delaying at all!" Doug off the ropes, into a hiptoss, another hiptoss, Henson tries for a cover but Doug gets to the ropes. Doug back up, and slapping Henson in his face. Henson back with forearms, headlock, Doug runs him into the corner. Slap to the back, turning him around for a chop. Armbar, elbows to the arm to pound Henson down. Hammerlock back suplex. Doug is pumped. Henson with a kick, but his punch is ducked and Doug breaks his arm over his shoulder. Arm wringer, elbow lock. Shoulder to the shoulder. Pounding the left shoulder. Slapping it. Shoulder block to the shoulder gets reversed into a backdrop the third time. Henson with right hands. Off the ropes, sunset flip, Doug blocks it and axhandles him. Cross armbreaker - that's it. (3:21) Doug taking his time, but lets go before the five count. Doug is far too pumped up for this. 

Funaki (Japan, 195 pounds) vs Orlando Jordan (Miami, FL, 257 pounds, w/Jillian Hall) - your ref is Chris Kay. Right as I'm wondering how OJ feels about JBL walking out on him, there's Jillian walking out with him. New Serious OJ is, uh, spelling out JO in the sky again. Announcers all hyper about OJ's hair. Circle. Lockup, Funaki backed into the corner, Orlando with cheap shot back elbows form both arms. Corner whip, no, back the same ay hard. OJ charges in, Funaki's moved out of the way, and is waiting - armdrag. Headlock. OJ uses a hairpull to take control, but Funaki retaliates with his own. OJ shoots Funaki off, Funaki ducks the clothesline, ducks the back elbow, crossbody is caught and spun out into a side back breaker. Stomp. Stomp. Boot scrape. Forearms to the chest around the top rope. OJ carefully ignoring Chris Kay. Snap mare, kick to the back. Bearhug. Jillian apparently took the same classes as Shaniqua, as her only contribution to this match was yelling "c'mon!" 400 times so far. Funaki fighting his way out of the bearhug with punches. Corner whip, OJ ain't going. Funaki gets whipped again. Jab. Jab. jab, shuffle big right cross. I guess the serious thing is dead. OJ ignores warnings about closed fists, then covers, one two no. Stomp. Forearm to the back. Picking him up by the hair and forearming him in the back. Whip, forearm to the back. Bearhug again. This is not the match I should be watching at 1AM, because I'm going to pass out before Funaki does. Funaki fighting out, but OJ puts a stop for that with knees. Side slam, Funaki fights back with punches and lands on top, no one cares, might have been a two count. Right about now, the mole is no longer the least annoying thing about Jillian. Shut up already. There's the kick catch enziguri. There's the bulldog. Funaki, not even bothering to go to the corner to screw this up, picks up OJ by the hair, OJ shakes loose, kick, spinning DDT. Is OJ going to cover? No, he wants Funaki up one more time. There's Maven's Finisher. One two three. (5:00) OJ throws Funaki out of the ring so he can be in the ring alone with Jillian. That's it.