TV PG V CC entertainment open (still got the Rock)

Captain Caveman Paul London & SmackDown #1 Announcer Funaki (375 pounds) vs WWE Cruiserweight Champion Chavo Guerrero & Akio (390 pounds) - London talks Funaki, always agreeable to team up on an entrance, to run to the ring. Sliiiiiiiiiiiiiide into the camera, a little too Xtreme! for my tastes. Your announcers are Romero and Josh. Black on black? Evil duo prefers to mosey to ringside. Akio does the Rock's pose on the ropes! He's the Rock of [insert country here]! I hate Chavo's new tights, sorry person who designed them. "We all know the history between Akio and Paul London" but apparently we're to think Paul's over that now and focused on Chavo. What does Billy Kidman think of all of this? London and Akio to start, though Paul wants Chavo. Circle/hopping. Lockup, London armdrag, point at Chavo. As Korderas stops Chavo from getting involved, Akio tries a sneak kick, but London catches it, spins him around and pushes him down. London points at Chavo again and Akio asks him if he wants in - nope. Akio charges London, armdrag, armbar. Announcers annoying me by talking about how great Paul London is doing lately, which is fine except he did not win the belt, so he can't be doing that awesome. Funaki tags, armbar/flying axhandle combo. Akio mixes in a knee, whip, Funaki back with the spinning headscissors into an inside cradle, one two no, armdrag into an armbar. Tag to London so he can do the axhandle this time. Armbar, twist, twist, twist again. Akio must have quite the jointed shoulder. London ducks a forearm, but Akio nails him with an elbow as he pulls by his arm. Chop. Corner whip, charge in to a London back elbow. London to the second rope, Mushroom Stomp looks harsher than usually. Stomping in place. Off the ropes, Chavo grabs London but the hair, London turns and forearms him, but turns into Akio's spinning heel kick to the face. London looks hurt, so Korderas backs away Akio - and Chavo pulls London to the floor for some stomping and rib kicking. Rolled back in as Funaki complains, and Akio chokes. Romero feels brilliant when noting Chavo's "never trust a Guerrero" comment extends to Chavo as well. There's the European Uppercut. Kick to the back. Choke on the middle rope. Turnbuckle smash. Tag to Akio, kick down in the corner, and Akio suplex in the middle of the ring. One two no. Stomping. London tries to fight his way up, but Akio stops that with a knee. Stomp. Hip hop. Stomp. Tag to Chavo, opening London up for a rib shot. European Uppercut. Whip, reversed, Chavo slides under, but turns into London's wheel kick! Got him good. London crawling for it - tag to Funaki, right, right, right, whip, reversed, Funaki back with the fivearm. Akio rushes right into Funaki's right hand. Kick catch enziguri is ducked by Chavo, who grabs Funaki by both legs - wheelbarrow suplex! (Romero called it!) Everyone down! Break? (4:30)

As we return, Funaki's been thrown into the evil corner by Chavo, but he's fighting his way out. Rights and elbows for everyone, but when he rushes for his corner, Chavo trips him up with a drop toe hold, puts on a leg scissors and tags Akio in. Knee drop tot he back, kneedrop to the back, Bow and Arrow! Funaki slips out, and lands on top one two no. Akio up first and stomping Funaki to the mat. Corner whip, down goes Funaki. Akio puts a foot on the back of Funaki's neck. Tag to Chavo. Holding him up, double suplex, one two no. Chinlock. More of a half nelson. Funaki fights out of the hold, off the ropes, into a kneelift. One two no. Chavo brings Funaki back over to his corner and tags in Akio, who kicks Funaki. Russian Legsweep into a grounded octopus, nice. Akio holds in for about ten seconds, then rolls it over into a pin, one two no. Stomp to Funaki to keep him there, elbow to London to knock shim ot the floor. London wants in, Korderas stops him, and Chavo comes into help out behind Korderas' back. Double whip, Akio whipped in, Funaki moves out of the way, Akio meets corner, and Funaki dropkicks Chavo's knee. Can he make the tag? Almost there. Tag to London, forearm for Chavo, duck under Akio's spinning leg lariat, leg lariat for Chavo, whip by Akio, reversed, 'rana with the tassels flying around. Whip by London, big backdrop. Chavo back in and forearming London from behind. Chavo's right is blocked, London's is not, dropsault lands in a splash on Akio! One two NO. London can't believe it. Pulling Akio into the corner and going up, but CHavo's behind him - and shoving him to the floor. Funaki charges at Chavo and pounds him down, but Akio's up and the numbers are too much for Akio. Double whip, Funaki ducks the double clothesline, London pulls out Chavo as Funaki connects on the kick catch enziguri. Funaki staggered but getting up as Chavo is doing the same on the floor - pescado. London climbing up top again, 450 splash on Akio! One two three. (8:50) Josh: "Paul London picking up the fantasy points, nailing the 450." I wonder who's on his team.

HoF Inductees. I guess things are okay with Marvel if he's Hulk.

Up Next: HBK wears a gay mustache.

Can't stop smiling. (4:08)

WM21: Kurt Angle vs Shawn Michaels
WM21: JBL (c) vs John Cena for the WWE Championship
Tonight: Hardcore Holly & Charlie Haas vs the Basham Brothers

WM21: Piper's Pit returns on WrestleMania 21, with guest Steve Austin.

WWE Slam of the Week, sponsored by Juicy Drop Pop: Carlito gets to shoveling, last Thursday. It's so sad when people randomly throw buckets of water at other people.

Nunzio (175 pounds) vs Spike Dudley (150 pounds) - Josh drives around town, rocking out to Nunzio's music. He also drives around with the top down and wearing tank tops, even in winter. "I am tough!" Romero notes Spike has lost a lot lately, which I guess is an angle? You never know with him. Circle. Lockup, Nunzio gets turned into the corner, cheap shot ducked and escaped. Josh: "I'm thinking maybe Theodore Long should tell Carlito to shovel my driveway, and then you could have a day off." Spike tries to sneak in a kick. spin around, waistlock takedown by Nunzio. Into a front facelock, Spike rolls it into a hammerlock. Nunzio reverse it to a one of his own, into a headlock. Shot off, back with a shoulderblock. Off the ropes, over, no, stop and a knee to the back of the head. Headlock takedown. Charles is your ref, as they give me a moment to work this in. Spike backs Nunzio into the corner, Spike slow on the break but quick to add the shoulder. Right hands to knocks Nunzio down, running in place stomps on Nunzio's shoulders. Nunzio tries to fight his way up, but Spike kicks him down with a shot to the head. Choke on the middle rope - Spike standing on Nunzio's back and bouncing up and down. Suplex, no Nunzio blocks, blocks again, blocks a third time and reversed into a small package one two no. Spike up first, inverted atomic drop (Romero: "inverted DDT" - wha?) and clothesline combo one two no. This is a nice little match. Chinlock. Adding a bodyscissors - don't lean back! Spike does not make the mistake of a person who actually uses this as their finishing move and leans on his side. This seems like an illegal choke but Nunzio is rallying back anyway. Spike stops that with a knee, because all momentum switches just take place on whips. Painful looking back suplex. Spike going up to prove me wrong. Top rope double stomp - meets boot, wow, that actually made sense for once, if Nunzio's boot was closer to Spike's face. Maybe he hurt his goatee. Nunzio blocking and punching. BEARD PULL! Clothesline, clothesline. Corner whip, Spike tries to kip up and out but Nunzio catches him by his legs and pulls him of into a face first powerbomb. La Majistral one two NO. Nice try on the pronunciation, Steve. Nunzio bearing down Spike in the corner - and gives him the running stomps back! Nunzio celebrating a little too much, but also setting up for Spike to get up - Sicilian Slice. Is that it? Close to the ropes - one two foot on the ropes. Whip, Spike back with the battering ram. Spike La Majistral is blocked, and he's cradled by Nunzio - one two THREE. (4:45) Nice move by Nunzio

Next: John Cena vs OJ
WM Recall, sponsored by Snickers Recall: Stephanie takes the Pedigree.  

WM: Cena and JBL

Did Josh change his hair color? Maybe it's just the light.

Cena vs OJ (2:14)

Up Next: Hardcore Holly & Charlie Haas vs the Basham Brothers. Josh wonders if JBL will interfere in this one. (Uh, no.)

SmackDown! Live
03/06 - Nassau Coliseum [SD!RTW21T]
03/07 - Charlotte, NC [SD!RTW21T]
03/08 - Roanoke, VA [SD!]
03/12 - Oshawa, ON [SD!RTW21T]
03/13 - Buffalo, NY [SD!RTW21T]

WWE Rewind, sponsored by Snickers: Jindrak and Reigns break up, again. Kurt seems completely unconcerned about this. 

the Basham Brothers (Columbus, OH, 495 pounds) vs Hardcore Holly & Charlie Haas (490 pounds) - You ref is Nick Patrick. Josh suggests Jindrak pick up boxing, and we all agree. Romero: "You know, we've seen a lot of Hardcore Holly and Charlie Haas on Velocity lately" - lately? Charlie and Danny to start this. Circle. Danny points to the letters on his waistband and explain what they are, how helpful. Josh: "S O D, I knew it stood for Secretary of Defense, what else could it stand for?" Long quiet pause for a joke we're apparently not privy to (or hasn't been thought of yet.) Circle. Lockup, Danny with a waistlock, Charlie ties to beak it, and get out into an armbar. Tightening it up to waistlock and taking Danny down, twisting it. Into a half nelson? I think. Back to an armbar. Tag to Hardcore? Only if the fans will cheer. Why do they cheer. Tag to Hardcore. Hardcore with a kick, armbar, Danny stops that with a knee. Tag to Doug! Doug charges right into a shoulder powerslam. One two no. 

Josh: "My favorite holiday is WrestleMania. It is a holiday, you know."
Steve: "You know what, I'm believing it's a holiday.
Josh: "My second favorite holiday is Arbor Day."

Whip, reversed, hiptoss by Doug. Hardcore kicks him away when he tries to follow up, kick, suplex, one two no. Doug begs off in the corner, Hardcore ignores him, and Doug kicks him to stop him. Turnbuckle stomp - watch Hardcore not sell it at all. Corner whip, kip up and out, and chopping Doug. Chop. Doug gets in a kick when Hardcore asks the fans if they want one more, but misses on his chop attempt. Hardcore chop. Another? Yes. This kinda thing is why Doug hates Hardcore. Corner whip, Doug kips up but Hardcore catches him by the legs and sets up to end it. Doug holds on to the top rope tight, Haas breaks the grip, but Danny slips in and kicks Hardcore to allow Doug to hit the DDT and didn't we do this exact same sequence in the last match? Bashams say it's time. Time to get watches, I think. Stomping. Distraction so Danny can get in an elbow. Oh no, we're going to get fired up Charlie Haas again eventually. Elbow drop by Doug. Chinlock. Taking it all the way down. Chinlock. Hardcore up to his feet, punching his way out, and running of the ropes into a sleeper. Jawbreaker by Hardcore to slip free, but Doug falls into his corner for the tag, and Danny stops Hardcore from making the tag. Elbow drop, elbow drop, Hardcore's still fine enough to crawl, Danny stomps him form crawling by covering him one two no. Full nelson. Lots of boos? Hardcore reaching for the fans. Up to his feet, and slips free. Danny's right is hooked into a release full nelson suplex. Both guys needs tags - tag to Doug, Tag to Charlie. Charlie ducks Doug, right for Doug, right for Danny, clothesline for Doug, clothesline for Danny, dropkick for Doug, dropkick for Danny, crazed pumped up Charlie Haas time, as he drops the steps. Release T-Bone Suplex on Doug. Calling for it - Haas of Pain. That's it - no, Danny breaks it up with an elbow drop. It's all breaking down- Hardcore takes Danny out of the ring as the legal men get up in opposite corners. Hardcore gets posted, and Danny follows by pulling Doug out of the way of a Charlie charge. Last Impression! One two three. (5:47) Hey, win without a switch.

That's it. Josh: "Velocity Out!"