TV PG V cc open

Nunzio (169 pounds) and Shannon Moore (Raleigh, NC, 207 pounds) vs Paul London (Austin, TX, 200 pounds) and WWE Cruiserweight Champion SmackDown! #1 Announcer Funaki (Japan, 208 pounds) - has anyone noted how they've masterfully edited down the FBI video to only Nunzio clips? Wow, Nunzio hilariously lost weight. Shannon doesn't look 38 pounds heavier than his partner, but perhaps it's all in the hair gel. Romero: "I saw Shannon Moore in the hallway, and he is RIPPED." Oh, okay, 'Shannon Moore: perpetual drunk' explains a lot. London sliiiiiiiiides and stop short, probably because he's very confused about who's the good side in this one. Wow, winning the title sure has changed life for Funaki. Your announcers are Steve Romero and Josh. Your ref is Brain, while I'm at it. London and Nunzio to start - no, Nunzio wants the Champ. London not really happy about the disrespect and letting Nunzio know. Shove from Nunzio, so London slaps him in the face. Nunzio goes for a takedown, London doesn't go down with it for a bit, but then falls over when Nunzio tips him up. Nunzio spins around on London's back to a front facelock, standing up, London reverses to a hammerlock, into a headlock, Nunzio aggressively battles to a top wristlock, but London gets a waistlock. Nunzio backs London into the corner for a break. Clean? Nunzio throws a back elbow, London ducks out and under before laying in a forearm to the face. Chop. Chop. Corner whip, reversed, Nunzio charges into a London back elbow, and London quickly to the second rope Mushroom Stomp. London doing the Wacky Stomp dance, and takes Nunzio down with an armdrag. Kick to the left side/shoulder by London, and another. Whip, London stops Nunzio with a side kick to the gut, one two no. London picks up Nunzio, and puts on an armbar. Now Nunzio will get to see Funaki, but not one on one - London loads him up and hangs him from the middle rope, and Funaki smashes him with a double axhandle to the middle rope. Funaki picks up Nunzio, but Nunzio breaks free with a back elbow. Tag to Shannon, Shannon runs into the armdrag. Armbar on, twist as Shannon gets up, but Shannon gets free with a kick. Whip, Shannon puts his head down too soon, Funaki whips Shannon, armdrag, armbar. Shannon battling up, throwing Funaki down by the hair, but Funaki holds onto the armbar. Twist. Tag to London. Funaki holds the armbar, and London leapfrogs over him on the run, sitting down on Shannon's arm. London goes after the left arm with a kick. Corner whip, Shannon tries the kip up headscissors, but London kinda just pushes him off and lets Shannon drop. Announcers don't even notice, but something's off. London does the stomps and goes to the middle rope as Brian checks on Shannon, and Nunzio uses the distraction to pulls London backwards out of the ring and tot he floor. Shannon, holding his left arm in, goes on to get some stomps in on London as Funaki objects. London rammed into the barricade. Chop. London brought back in, and covered, one no. Chinlock. Replay of London getting rudely tossed out - he bounces off the apron on the way out. In real time, London is elbowing out of the chinlock, off the ropes, into a Shannon kick and swinging neckbreaker one two NO. Shannon stomps London, and tags in Nunzio. Double whip, double flapjack, Nunzio jacknife cover one two NO - Funaki broke it up there, displeasing Nunzio. Nunzio stomps and forearms London while yelling at Funaki. Nunzio with the kneeling chinlock. London drawing form the fans, who eventually come with him. London tries to punch his way out, Nunzio stops him with a forearm but gets rolled up in a small package anyway, one two no. Nunzio stomps London back down, and yells at him while forearming him. Tag to Shannon, hold for another forearm. London tries to fight his way to his corner, but Shannon stomps that with a boot to the head, and a back elbow for Funaki. While Funaki's stopped from interfering, Nunzio sets up for the same. Shannon positions London with a back suplex into a side backbreaker, and Nunzio tries the Sicilian Slice - but London moves out of the way in time! Long delay between moves there. Kick for Shannon puts him out, and London's crawling to his corner - and then falling backwards to make the tag. Funaki ducked a Shannon clothesline and gives him a fivearm. Right for Shannon, kick for Nunzio, right for Shannon. Whip, backdrop, and there's the bulldog - one two Nunzio breaks it up. London back up, dropsault to Nunzio to take him out. Shannon repays with a wheel kick to knock London out of the ring. Funaki up, his clothesline misses, and Shannon stops him with a mule kick to the midsection. Is Josh on lunch? He's disappeared from commentary. Corner whip by Shannon, but he eats boot. That's all Funaki needs - Rising Sun, one two three. (6:50) London goes out, get s the Cruiserweight Title - and gives it to Funaki. Not to the face or anything neat like that. He did give it a quick look before handing it over.

Tonight: Charlie Haas vs Kenzo Suzuki
Still To Come: Big Show sits! Exciting TV.

SCSA Press Conference - will not be explained here. (:20)

Bashams vs Eddie/Booker. I think. All the sudden I have bug bites on my arm and they've very distracting. (3:09)

Still To Come: Big Show is a big moron.
SmackDown! Live
01/23 - Tupelo, MS [HHH Tour]
01/25 - Little Rock, AR [SD!]
01/30 - Fresno, CA [Royal Rumble]
01/31 - San Jose, CA ["WWE SuperShow" - note the RAW and SD! logos.]
02/01 - Honolulu, HI ["WWE SuperShow"]

Heidenreich/Undertaker (3:33)
Royal Rumble: Undertaker vs Heidenrech in a Casket Match

Still To Come: Angle' apology

Subway Slam Of The Week: Rey beats Chavo in a Royal Rumble Qualifying Match.

Hardcore Holly (Mobile, Alabama, 242 pounds) vs Robby McAlister (235 pounds, already in the ring) - Your referee is Charles. Your match is lame. We've got six slots left in the Rumble, who's left? Eddie, definitely. Rene? Kenzo? Let's say yes. One would think the Cruiserweight Champion would get in, since he's obviously got nothing better to do. That still leaves two. The Dudleys are supposed to be back Any Day Now, but that'd be a lame way for them to return. Figure the Bashams are defending if they're doing anything. Dropkick, check. Alabama Crunch, check. Top rope clothesline, check. Alabama Slam, check. Josh catchphrase, check. (4:04) Figure on this guy, just because, which leaves one spot open for...My Dream Akio/London Battle For The Last Remaining Spot In The Rumble. (There's a reason they call a dream.)

Up Next: Kurt Angle reads a prepared statement. (Prepared by Lance Storm.)

WrestleMania Recall, sponsored by Clearsil: Austin beats HBK for the title in 1998. One may note Austin did not win the title and lose it after a month before this moment.

That's some lime? olive? shirt Josh has got going. Does he get a clothing budget? And what does he use it on, hahaha. Angle/JBL/Show stuff rolling. So when is Big Show stupider - when he trusts JBL, or when he decides there's only one Angle can enter the building? Silva ROAR spot. Wow, we get to see blood in color! I may faint. (4:44)

Royal Rumble: Kurt Angle vs JBL (c) vs Kurt Angle in a Triple Threat Match for the WWE Championship
Royal Rumble: Undertaker vs Heidenrech in a Casket Match
Royal Rumble: Shawn Michaels vs Edge
Royal Rumble: Randy Orton vs Triple H (c) for the World Heavyweight Championship
Royal Rumble: 30 Man Royal Rumble Match. (No list of qualifiers here - we'll try it next week.)
Royal Rumble: "Find the Real" by Alter Bridge

Up Next: Charlie Haas vs Kenzo Suzuki

WWE Rewind, sponsored by Snickers: Cena and Dupree go thru a ridiculous counter exchange and the editing makes it look like something was blown, wow. 

Kenzo Suzuki (Land of the Rising Sun, 250 pounds, w/Hiroko) vs Charlie Haas (Edmond, OK, 230 pounds) - Circle. Lockup, no, Haas slips behind, forearm, shove. Haas does a bit of arrogant posing. Lockup, no, Haas sneaks behind for a forearm. Wow, this seems familiar. Circle. Romero says "spinna'" in a such a horribly inauthentic voice, Josh is moved to silence. Lockup, Haas sneaks behind AGAIN, and this time turns Kenzo around for a slam. Pose. Circle. Lockup, Kenzo with a kneelift, good for him. Chop. Chop, and Kenzo's thrilled with that one. Walking around celebrating allows Haas to recover and kick him. Haas shoved in the corner for a punch barrage. Forearm. Whip, Kenzo goes in chest first, and Haas uses the forearm to the back yet again. Kenzo's going to go out and think about how much his back hurts. Haas leans over to yell at Kenzo one too many times, and gets yanked out. Chop. Face into the barricade, and a barrage of punches. Whip, reversed, and Kenzo goes into the apron. Haas with open hand slaps. Crowd into this more than I am as they both go back in. Stomp. Whip, drop toe hold - HEY, Charlie remembers the Haas of Pain, even if the website does not. He does not remember to avoid doing it three inches from the ropes, which doesn't as much become a problem about Kenzo get an arm to them, but more of an opportunity for Hiroko to yank one of Kenzo's arms on the bottom rope. (Wow, Romero called the move name! I wonder if he has a list...)  Haas leans over to stare at Hiroko, and luckily Hiroko does not pull him out. Haas goes back to work. Forearm. Josh: "Charlie has had his problems with women - he's done with that now." Whoa. I guess he did learn a lot from Rico? Whip, head down too soon, Kenzo punches it, and takes five seconds to throw Haas into the corner shoulder first. Kenzo is stoked about that. Attacking the shoulder - claw to the shoulder? He eventually decides on a exceptional cravat? I guess. Not exceptional in a good way. Haas gets a whip and a knee. Kenzo with random yelling. Running jumping kneedrop is easily avoided by Charlie. Haas punches Kenzo, scoops him, and the massive weight and/or skill of Kenzo Suzuki causes him to fall on top. I think wrestling is fake. One two NO. To a neck vice? A shoulder claw? Not an idea - announcers figure Haas lost the bodyslam due to back work, which would be a good story if he wasn't working over the shoulder. This pause in the action allows me to point out Your Ref Is Nick. The other pauses in action cause me to wish sweet death. Oh man, that crazy Kenzo switched it to a chinlock. Josh has gone insane with boredom. Kenzo stops a comeback with knees and such. Whip, back elbow misses, Haas comes back with a five arm, one two no. Kenzo theoretically gives Haas a headbutt. It wasn't horribly bad, but still. Josh explains Kenzo's favorite things are everything American and everything Foreign. Hard to argue with that logic. Josh: "Not to be confused with the band Foreigner." Back to collarbone? claw. Haas elbowing up once again, thrown down once again, but gets out with an armdrag. Clothesline. Right. Whip, back elbow. Slam, magically working this time even though Haas should be more hurt. Maybe it's because Haas is pumped up now. Pumped up or acting like a goon, one of the two. Josh LIES and says John Cena is watching this at home. Haas right to the midsection, chinbreaker. Clothesline. Clothesline. Dropkick. Pumped up pose again. Corner whip, reversed, and Charlie goes in face first. Lame rebound out right into position - STKENZO. (6:06) Fans really hating on Kenzo for liking America, I imagine. And then there first three rows do bows for him, and he returns it? So whatever.

Whatever, that's it.