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Luther Reigns & Mark Jindrak (568 pounds) vs Nunzio & Funaki (377 pounds) - this is not going to work out well. Josh says this is the New FBI, because Funaki is "35% Italian." "He's 75% Japanese and 35% Italian." Bill points out Funaki lives in Texas, and Josh assures him Italians are allowed to live in Texas. Funaki and Luther to start this. Funaki not sure how he's going to do this - ducking a lockup and chopping is his idea, but it doesn't seem to hurt Luther much. Josh: "Bill, what does Funaki have to do to win this match?" "Absolutely nothing - let's just be honest, what could Funaki and Nunzio possibly do to Luther Reigns and Mark Jindrak?" Well okay then. Funaki kicks, gets kicked harder. Bill is in favor of abusive boyfriends! I'm so not dating him now. Luther pulls up Funaki by his hair, whips him into the corner, charges, and finds nothing. Funaki dropkick but Luther is Big and doesn't go down from that. Funaki wisely ducks Luther to dive tag Nunzio. Nunzio heads straight up, cross body caught. Luther stops to give a thumbs up to Nick Patrick (wha?) and turns around just in time to be tipped over by a Funaki middle rope dropkick one big kickout. Clothesline. Tag to Jindrak. Can you believe Jindrak is the weak link on this team? Uh, yes I guess you could. Jindrak stomping and punching. Josh: "Don't a lot of things happen in life because of women?" Bill would like the full Billocity to discuss that topic in length and I wonder how any women could be a fan of wrestling. Tag to Luther, whip, double shoulderblock. Funaki and Jindrak point at each other, Funaki wisely staying out of the ring while Nunzio gets beat. Josh: "Have you ever seen another timekeeper?" Bill: "At times. Combs his hair." Luther giving Nunzio crossface blows, followed by a YELLING neck vice. Another cross face. Elbow drop. Nunzio tries to fight up. Doesn't work at all. Bill: "I've known the Big Show for a long long time, and I could never accuse him of biting off more than he can chew. Tag to Jindrak. Suplex, kip up, point to his head, elbow drop, elbow drop, Kenzo Suzuki hip swivel, elbow drop. Bill mentions Rick Rude, and questions if Josh knows who that is. "Moment of silence." Luther got tagged in during the moment. Whip, Nunzio tires a sunset flip, but Luther blocks and clubs him in the head. Nunzio trying to fight up. Doesn't work at all. Knee in the back chinlock. Bill: "I'd love to fight three other men! You get three other men, and we can have a fight!" Chinlock. Bill thinks Kurt is uncertain he can win, 3 on Show. Tag to Jindrak, and Luther whips him into Nunzio for a shoulder to the midsection. Tag to Luther. and Jindrak whips Luther into - uh, the ring post, because Nunzio moved. Tag to Funaki. Right to Luther, right, kick, kick, dropkick to the knee, pumped up dance, dropkick to the head waved away. Stomps. 

Josh: "It's like Godzilla and Funaki in the ring!
Bill: "Oh, you can't say that!"
Josh: "Yes I can!"
Bill: "Godzilla's not Italian!"
Please kill me.

Tag to Jindrak. Double whip, double pump powerbomb. Josh: "I don't know what to call that!" How about a powerbomb? Jindrak won't cover, though. Mark of Excellence! Josh calls it! Nunzio gets a big boot upside his face from Luther! That's it. (4:39) Luther may be the more important man on his team, but Mark has a name for his move. Replay of The Unnamed Move - Bill wants me to say "suplex hiptoss" which is at least an attempt. Josh: "I hope Big Show is watching Velocity" because that's make 12. (He counts as two people in the ratings!)

Tonight: Chavo Guerrero vs Billy Kidman
Still To Come: the Undertaker vs the World

Tough Enough recap. I wonder if Al and Hardcore still have unresolved Pierre issues. (3:26)
Armageddon: Dixie Dogfight featuring two of Daniel Puder, Mike Mizanin, and Justice Smith. This could've been a much more amusing if it was a BRAWL FOR ALL match.

Tonight: Chavo Guerrero vs Billy Kidman 
WrestleMania Recall, sponsored by Subway: Hulk Hogan defeats Randy Savage at WrestleMania 5. I don't remember them showing this last year.

WWE in Baghdad.

Paul London (Austin, TX, 200 pounds) vs Akio (Japan, 200 pounds) - new music, new outfit, new/old hometown, old running to the ring. He's doing the middle rope backflip again. Josh brings up Akio's new movie, and Bill accuses of Josh of making up LIES. THE BIG NEWS: Josh hosts Experience tomorrow morning! Ivory is going to eat him for brunch. Or knit him a sweater. Circle. Lockup, Akio taking to the ground with the lockup still on, then back up, then Akio gets London cornered. Clean break? No, shove, shove back. London walks right into a kick, Akio with a headlock, into a hammerlock, London runs around the edges of the ring and trips Akio out of it. Bill suggests London is ticked he can't get a piece of Kidman. Akio back in, and London stomps him. Armbar. Akio uses the top rope to flip into a reversal and back heel trip. Akio with a grounded headlock, back up to his feet, shot off and back with a shoulderblock. Bill: "This might be one of the few times I can remember in recent history where the belts less important than revenge." Of course, he can't remember much. Akio starts towards the ropes, but London trips him up from the mat. Into a front facelock. Akio out into a whip, head down too soon and London Mushroom Stomps him. Nice dropkick sends Akio out. London does some wacky stomping strutting dance. Off the ropes, slingshot tope con giro! Josh: "Somersault senton!" Partial credit. Replay of the nice dive. London brings Akio in. London with a kick, Akio catches it and forces the backflip which looks beautiful till London's shins hit the top ropes on the way down, causing him to land on his forehead! Josh: "Holy [bleep]!" Holy bleep indeed! Captioning goes with "holy smokes." Scary thing is I think, on some level, London might have meant to do that. Replay of that. Akio isn't letting possible leg injuries stomp him from stomping. Corner whip (running alright) and the Super Kwang kick. Akio manages to grab the top rope on the way over and skin the cat back in. Akio hipping and hopping. Snap mare, chinlock. Bill wants this match stopped. London trying to rally back, and the crowd's not really in much. Jumping enziguri by Akio! One two NO. London trying to fight back. Does not work. Akio slapping the back of London's head. Corner whip, London reverses but rushes into Akio's boot. Akio out, but into London's jumping side kick! Both guys are down - who's going to get up first? Will someone get up? London with a chop. Akio with a chop. London with a chop. Akio with a chop. Both guys punch each other in the face at the same time! AGAIN! London's dropped to one knee and is slower to get back up, so Akio gets in a kick to the back. London with a kick to Akio's back! (Josh and Bill are letting the action tell the story). Akio kick, London kick. "C'MON!" Again, but London's winning the kick battle, and kicks Akio down. London's chest is scarlet red. London pulls Akio up to standing position, Akio shoves him away and clotheslines, London ducks and connects on the Dropsault. Josh is talking now to call that. Akio ended up in the corner, and London charges - right into the back elbow. AKIO TOP ROPE MOONSAULT BODYBLOCK! One two NO! Akio can't believe it. Akio goes for something in the back suplex family, but London elbows out - jumping round house kick to Akio's face! Bill: "I'm going on record - I don't care if there's a winner, this is the best damn match I've seen in a long time!" London going up to the top rope, but a bit slow to get his footing, and Akio crotches him. Akio with right hands, and setting London's feet inside the ropes. Going for the 'rana, but London fighting back with punches of his own. Akio shoved back to the mat - SKULL CRUSHING OFF THE SECOND ROPE DDT! (5:51) Yo, Maven, you can seriously never ever use that move ever again. Josh: "and this five star match is over!" DeMott says the Turning Point should be Paul London landing on his head, but it's not because he got up - so the real turning point is the flying DDT. We go back to see the crowd cheering for London before moving on.

Up Next: JBL 
SmackDown! Live
12/05 - Madison Square Garden [Holla Holla Holla Tour]
12/06 - Johnson City, TN [Holla Holla Holla Tour]
12/07 - Greenville, SC [SD!]
12/12 - Atlanta, GA [Armageddon]
12/14 - Nashville, TN [SD!]

Slam of the Week, presented by Subway, is the Bashams slamming Booker T and Eddie Guerrero a loss. 
Undertaker vs Orlando and JBL (3:23)
Armageddon: the Undertaker vs Eddie Guerrero vs JBL (c) vs Booker T for the WWE Championship
Armageddon: RVD & Rey Mysterio vs Rene Dupree & Kenzo Suzuki (c) for the WWE Tag Team Championship
Armageddon: Dixie Dogfight featuring two of Daniel Puder, Mike Mizanin, and Justice Smith. 
Armageddon: Dawn Marie vs Miss Jackie with Charlie Haas as guest referee.
Armageddon: Big Show vs Kurt Angle, Luther Reigns, and Mark Jindrak.
Armageddon: John Cena (c) vs Jesus (w/Carlito) for the WWE US Championship

Up Next: Chavo Guerrero vs Billy Kidman
Triple H in Blade 3 (1:16)

Wrangler Jeans presents the WWE Rewind: Billy Kidman KOs Chavo Guerrero with the Shooting Star Press, August 2004. Jamie's down to "blink and you missed him" levels.

thug life Billy Kidman (Allentown, PA, 215 pounds, w/red vest) vs Chavo Guerrero (El Paso, TX, 214 pounds) - Chavo taps his wrist and points to Kidman - it's time. Kidman makes sure Brian Hebner knows Chavo is loco. Kidman abandons right as Chavo enters it. Josh: "This is Billy Kidman and Chavo Guerrero's Armageddon!" Kidman very slow to get in, backing off when Kidman gets in. Brian backs up Chavo, and calls for the bell. Kidman gets to apron - and Chavo scares him off again. Josh notes Chavo was out for 55 days; Bill was out 16 months in his longest injury stint. While Brian keeps Chavo away, Kidman tentatively sneaks into the ring, charges at Chavo, and is immediately hiptosses. Armdrag, and Kidman slides out to think this over. Brian won't let Chavo out, so he poses. Josh: "Armageddon is described by Webster's as 'the battle of the day of doomsday'." Chavo backs up to the far corner to let Kidman back in, then is immediate after him. Lockup, Chavo with a waistlock, Kidman battles out into a hammerlock, jumping snap mare escape by Chavo. Bill explains they're not trying to throw punches and let their emotions get the best of them - yet. Kidman off the ropes, under, over (almost tripping), into the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Step over armbar by Chavo, yelling at Kidman. Kidman manages to free himself enough to get to the corner - Chavo holds onto the count of three, and is partially forced out. Chavo tries charging back in, blocks Kidman's kick, and catches him with a clothesline as he comes out. Kidman crawls to apron, and Chavo ignores Hebner yelling at him while he reaches for Kidman. Kidman grabs Chavo's arm, and snaps it over the top rope! Kidman back in, and punching and kicking the injured left shoulder. Chavo fights back with punches and European Uppercuts, but Kidman throws Chavo thru the ropes and out of the ring. Quick break. (2:04)

Kidman is beating down Chavo in the corner as we return from WWE.com ads. Chavo battles back with right hands and European uppercuts. Off the ropes, slide under, Kidman hiptoss blocked with a knee lift. Chavo takes a moment to check his arm, then charges with a clothesline, which Kidman ducks and reverses into a single arm DDT! That can't help. One two no. Stomping at the shoulder. Kidman bends Chavo's left arm around the middle rope to stretch and put a boot to. Armdrag, into a wristlock. Crowd wants Chavo to rally back, and he's drawing form them. Right hands, but Kidman kicks him down. Another kick to the shoulder. Standing on the shoulder, using the ropes! Punches to the shoulder while stretching it - Brian Hebner gets annoyed with Kidman's manipulation of the Five Count rule, and hooks Kidman's arm to prevent more punches. They argue while Chavo gets free of the corner. Kidman still manages to grab him and drop him with a back suplex. One two no - Kidman screams it was three. Armbar. Kidman twists Chavo's arm around his leg to extend it more. Chavo trying to draw from the fans, but they're not with him this time. As he stars to battle and circle around in the armbar, they do start cheering, and he starts forearm. Chavo off the ropes - no, he fakes out Kidman (and me), causing Kidman to dropkick no one. Chavo jacknife covers him, one two NO. Chavo with right hand punches, off the ropes, fivearm.  Chavo up, clothesline, clothesline, clothesline misses and Kidman stops him with a kick. Springboard bulldog is shoved off before it gets started, and Chavo flapjacks him. One two NO. It's kinda funny to see someone facing Kidman doing the Kidman dead arm sell. Chavo gets in a couple corner European Uppercuts, but Kidman blocks a corner whip. Kidman sneaks in an eye rake to back off Chavo, but rushes into a Chavo back elbow. Chavo tries to follow up, but walks right into the BK Bomb. Kidman drags Chavo over to the corner and the crowd starts to get loud. Kidman to the top - but Chavo trips him up! Kidman tumbles to the mat, both men down. Chavo up first - Gory Bomb? No, Kidman stops him with a double leg, holding the cover while getting his feet on the top rope - one two THREE. (4:38 after the break, 6:42 total) Josh: "Billy Kidman CHEATS!" Gotta give him credit for getting them all the way up on the top rope. Kidman is pretty ecstatic. Chavo is yelling "NO!" Kidman points to his head.

That's it.