TV PG V entertainment open fireworks

Akio (Japan, 200 pounds) vs Charlie Haas (Edmond, OK, 241 pounds, w/Charlie Haas) - All alone now. Slightly less alone. Bill mocks Haas' dancing ability. "What do you think has happened to Charlie Haas, after losing the tag team championship, that has kept this woman around?" I'm thinking it's the sex. Bill says the forbidden word "Rico" while trying to point out that Haas has gotten a lot more gay since he's been gone. Circle. Lockup? Akio's not in a hurry. Akio wants a handshake? Haas accepts that, and accepts a kick, catching it and going behind for a takedown. Floating over on his back, and spinning to the ropes with a front facelock. Akio hides in the ropes. Bill notes that Akio's (back) in suit pants. Shove exchange isn't going to be won by Akio. Akio gets in a kick, but his turnbuckle smash is blocked and that stops it. Another corner? Sure. Haas sadly prefers an armbar instead of trying for all four. Josh: "Pinball's really big in Japan." Bill: "Oh, so you're going to go there?" Okay. At least he said Japan. Akio armdrags out, no Haas rolls through and holds on. Forearm will end this. Chop ducked, and Haas gets the armbar on. Crank, sit down on the arm. Akio gets in a knee. Whip, hiptoss blocked, Haas fireman's carry works, armdrag, Akio begs off in the corner, Haas after him with a monkey flip. One two no. Nearly twelve people chant CHARLIE! CHARLIE! Or perhaps something else entirely. In further mocking, when Bill says "Charlie's upped his game - monkey flips, all this other stuff he's doing", alls I can think is "wow, monkey flips and armbars - he's a real female wrestler now" Hammerlock, Akio run into a buckle shoulder first. Haas to the second rope, flying nothing and Akio wheel kicks him in the shins. Josh moves the impact to the knees, and that's where Akio is stomping. Elbow drops to the inside of the knee, then a grapevine. Haas tries a chinlock, tries a legscissors, tries a hair pull, but finally gets free by kicking Akio off with his other leg. Haas gets back to his feet, only to get clipped by Akio. Bret Hard sit down own on the leg over the rope. Knee smash into the mat. Stomp to the back of the knee. Stomp of the front of the knee. Haas trying to punch his way up for his feet and it's working, but Akio stops that with a kick. Wheel kick is ducked, Haas hits a back elbow. clothesline, backdrop. Haas is slowed by his bad leg. Haas hopping into a corner charge on Akio, and landing a shoulder. Exploder. He's pumped, is he gonna finish it? German Suplex (really inappropriately timed and extraordinary loud cheering here - crowd's been off for the last minute or so) but Akio is a cruiserweight so he lands on his feet. Dropkick knocks Haas into the corner. Corner wheel kick sends Akio the apron, and he's going up. Crowd at Home Team In Gold Medal Final noise level for no particular reason, missile dropkick. One two NO. This sounds is incredibly fake and killing this match. Akio charge into a corner is sidestepped. Haas going up? Haas turning top rope cross body one two three. (5:12) Crowd noises went way down on the count and the music, like people got bored by the (new) finish. 

Tonight: Booker T vs Shannon Moore. 
Still To Come: Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero

I believe this Cena "SmackDown the Vote" commercial defines hokey.

$1,000,000 Tough Enough Coming This Fall to SmackDown!

Reflection of Perfection Mark Jindrak (Atlanta, GA, 263 pounds) vs Wavell Starr (220 pounds, already in the ring) - Bill bemoans the lack of cape for Jindrak. He still gets the mirror, for now. Josh wonders if the $1,000,000 Tough Enough was Long's idea, and Bill thinks it'd only be if Long was getting a cut of the money. Lockup, Starr walked into the corner. Big right ducked by Wavell, armdrag. Josh wants to remember fond TE memories, though he doesn't remember a million dollars. Bill wishes Josh was part of his season, "the tough season." You're not missing anything interesting in this match as Josh and Bill debate which was an easier vacation: Bahamas vs South Africa vs Iceland. Bill lets his inner anger about the winner getting a million dollars. Moving on to Jindrak, Josh once again touts his chances in the Long regime and Bill points out nothing has happened so far. Josh tries this match as a big thing for Jindrak. Bill: "It's not even Tough Enough 4! It's the $1,000,000 Tough Enough!" So I don't have to recap it? Hmm. Josh gets in the Tanaka joke, which I can't groan at because I gave up calling any action here when I couldn't figure out a sneaky way of saying Standing Thunder. Bill complains that Tanaka is much better than Starr, and will apologize to Tanaka's WMXX trading card about it. Jindrak poses after a Batista clothesline. Bill tries to find the double meaning in "climbing a tree." Bill wonders if Wavell Starr is eligible for the $1,000,000 Tough Enough and Josh thinks so. Wavell corner kips up and out but Jindrak's stop short, and that sets up the Mark of Excellence (3:05) I'll try better next time thru Canada.

Up Next: JBL on SmackDown!

Carlito Caribbean Cool is Coming. Gee, wonder who that could be.

They talk about, but do not even show stills of JBL going through the roof of the limo. We do get to see his jacket taken off, thanks. That must've been a heck of a time getting that shirt on underneath the big collar. (4:20)

Tonight: Booker T vs Shannon Moore

Wrangler Dudleys destroy Scotty of Thursday

Billy Gunn (269 pounds) vs Doug Basham (Columbus, OH, 240 pounds) - We can't go a week without a matchup. Wonder why Holly's not out here. Circle. Dough putting his finger in Billy's chest. Trash talking. Strangely, Bill doesn't know what the word nepotism means; you'd think everyone in WWE would be somewhat familiar with the term. Lockup. Battle in the corner and out of the corner and into Brian Hebner, who's not going to break this apart. Lockup, Billy backs up in the corner, break, Dough misses a cheap forearm, Billy ducks out of the corner. Bill gets on Josh for not saving John Cena from the Dudleys. Josh claims he had a very important phone call he had to get back to. Bill accuses it being a call from his brother, and goes into this week's most bizarre tangent while talking about the Dudleys: "What happened to Billy Gunn? His brother Bart was in town, everything was fine. Eddie Guerrero had his brother, everything was fine. The Bashams got their brothers, the Dudleys got their brothers, now Spike Dudley is cruiserweight champion." Josh asks Bill what he would've done if he was doing the interview, and Bill says he'd help the Dudleys! Test of Strength is slightly in Billy's favor, but he breaks it with a kick and armdrags Doug out of the ring. Danny starts to go over to help his brother up, but Billy spots it and alerts the ref before taking off after Doug. The chase is on, Doug in, Danny surprising Billy with a clothesline. Because Josh is complaining about the two on one, it's fine with Bill this week. Doug collects Billy and throws him back in. Rights, corner punches. Chop. Talking, and walking into a punch. Doug and Billy have a punch battle, Doug winning with a kick and a reverse neckbreaker one two no. Chinlock. Takes ten seconds, but Billy rallies back. Doug is quick tops top him with forearms, turnbuckle smash, Doug stands on the bottom rope and does nothing we can see (maybe a choke?) and is pulled off the ropes. Doug goes back to the corner, and wanders into a boot. Gunn with a right, it's ducked, Doug gives Gunn an atomic drop, Gunn falls forward into the corner and rebounds out, knocking heads with Basham and dropping them both. Both up and eight, another punch battle with Gunn winning this time. Whip, back elbow. Clothesline. Clothesline. Corner whip, Billy charges in, Doug sidesteps the splash, Gunn catches himself on the ropes, Doug forearms him ion the back anyway. Corner whip, quick reverse into the One and Only, but Doug reverses that into a jawbreaker. (Josh goes with a "Stunner like a maneuver", but it was head to jaw.) Ref Brian Hebner checks on Gunn as both are down, and Danny comes in to make the shift - but Hebner turns and catches it! Seems like that's happening quite often of late. Danny begs off, then charges Gunn, who sidesteps and and throws him off. Doug tries to use it as a distract to hit his Last Impression jumping side kick, but Gunn catches it and the other leg and sets him up. Crash Landing one two three (4:36) From no count to a finisher, how about that. Bill thinks the failed switch might be a turning point. 

Tough Enough contact info. You can go to website for it. I'm thinking the real winner might turn out to be Maven, but we'll see.

Up Next, the SmackDown Main Event

Clearasil handshake of Thursday

And highlights of the match, picking up with Angle's bell to belly (5:46)

Tonight: Booker T vs Shannon Moore

SmackDown! Live
08/22 - Bakersfield, CA
08/24 - Fresno, CA [SD]
SmackDown!: Return Of The Deadman tour (no dates listed)
Sydney, Australia
Brisbane, Australia
Melbourne, Australia

US Champion Booker T (Houston, TX, 256 pounds) vs Shannon Moore (Raleigh, NC, 207 pounds) in a non-title match - Win the US Title, end up on Velocity a lot. Face this week. I need to make a chart. Lockup, Booker easily forcing Shannon on into the corner, clean break is ducked, Shannon with an inside cradle one two no. Shannon pauses to mock the Five Times, and gets superkicked in the face for it! Right, whip, clothesline. Ax kick. One two NO. Corner whip, charge into a back elbow, WOW crossbody one two NO. Shannon uses ESP to duck a clothesline before he's even though, wheel kick hits one two NO. Off the ropes, Booker catches him with a big spinebuster. Stomp. Stomp. Josh says a win by Shannon Moore "will do a lot for the morality of Booker T." Huge ethical dilemmas on the line tonight. Whip, side kick. Crowd chants CENA at Booker, who is less than appreciative. Bill: "This is why I say they shouldn't let fans in the arena." One two no. Chinlock. Bill opposes the $1,000,000 Tough Enough and Fans In The Arena. And General Manager Theodore Long walking away when Bill's talking to him, which happened last time they talked. Or didn't talk. Shannon punching his way out of the chinlock, but stopped by the knee. Sidewalk slam. Booker off the ropes, kneedrop but no one's home. Bill thinks Match 1 should be thrown out for happening in Canada. He'd also like to be GM. Shannon with a kick, right, right, right, whip, reversed, Booker puts his head down too soon, Shannon grabs it and does his Matt impersonation, Matt lifts him up and puts him in the corner. Booker backs up, charges and eats boots. Shannon to the rope, HALO but Booker moves. Scissors kick. That'll do it. One two three. (3:10) He wants the belt! He gets the belt. That's that.

SmackDown!: John Cena [1] vs Booker T [0] in the Best of 5 Series for the Undisputed United States Championship
SmackDown!: Heidenreich (w/Paul Heyman)

No shot of the announcers this week? How odd.