TV PG V CC entertainment open fireworks why don't I have a macro for this yet?

Billy Gunn and Hardcore Holly (530 pounds) vs the Basham Brothers (Columbus, OH, 495 pounds) - Is there tension because Gunn was posing and Hardcore was ahead of him walking? Let's hope not. Let's hop not, too sure. Your announcers are Bill and Josh. Hardcore and Danny to start. Lockup, Hardcore backs Danny into the corner, clean break seems to annoy Danny but he has second thoughts about discussing it with Hardcore. Bill says Doug would get right in Holly's face, while Danny would not. Hardcore Holly is apparently running the 'Nutrition Kitchen' in Mobile, Alabama now. Lockup, Hardcore with a headlock, shot off, back with a shoulderblock,. Off the ropes, over, into a Danny hiptoss. Danny off the ropes, elbow drop but no one's home, Hardcore elbow drop but no one's home. Danny waits for Hardcore to get up, right, chop, chop, chop, right, whip, reversed, Hardcore dropkick. Hardcore pushing Danny in the corner for a set of chops. Doug walks over to hit Harcore when ehs't urning around, but Hardcore really isn't interested. Forearm for Danny, facelock and Gunn's tagged in so he can get a free kick. Armbar, Danny stops that with a knee, Doug runs into the drop toe hold. He always does that! Gunn jab jab Doug punching drunk jab, Doug falling into the ropes and wandering right back into the path of another jab. Cover one two no. Whip, Doug with a sunset flip, Gunn rolls through and rolls forward, eventually pulling Doug into a what's often called a Styles Clash, though Josh sneakily says "Crash Landing." Cover - Doug kicks out before a one count, which Josh notes. Gunn kicks Doug out of the ring, then Danny runs into the hiptoss neckbreaker. Gunn out after Doug, right hand in front of the announce booth, back to the apron to punch Danny, and Doug jumps on the apron to bulldog him onto the steps! It was one of those hair grab bulldogs. Gunn is down, Hardcore is running around the ring to get to Doug, who's running in the ring to get away, and it's time for a break. (3:42)

Back in time to see Danny stomp Billy a bit. Turnbuckle smash, tag to Doug. Stomping, Doug with some mounted punches. Doug gets in his taunting of Hardcore Holly, allowing Danny to get in an elbow on Billy. Billy pulls himself up in the corner, Doug charges in and eats boot. Doug is staggered, backs up and charges at Gunn as he comes out of the corner - Last Impression! Slow to cover, one two Hardcore breaks it up. Knee drop, tag to Danny, Doug choking Billy as Danny comes in. Danny with a slam, tag to Doug. Doug going right up, Ohio Jam comes up empty! Billy is - uh, not really crawling. He's just laying there.  Ah, now he's moving. Tag to Danny, Gunn's speed increases by 500% so he can make the tag to Hardcore. Right for Danny, right for Doug, right for Danny, right for Doug. Whip for Danny, backdrop. Backdrop for Doug. Hardcore going up, top rope clothesline for Danny one two Doug breaks it up. Doug with a kick, corner whip, reversed, Billy scoops up running Doug and drops him with a swinging bodyslam. Hardcore gets the Alabama Slam on Danny, one two three. (3:13, 6:55 total) The Turning Point was Doug's missed leg drop.

SmackDown Live
8/15 - Toronto, ON [SummerSlam]
8/16 - Owen Sound, ON 
8/17 - Hamilton, ON [SD!] 
8/21 - San Diego, CA
8/22 - Bakersfield, CA

Wrangler Orlando Jordan saves JBL of two weeks ago

Orlando Jordan vs Undertaker this week. Hey, dead guy seems to be KO-ed but shockingly sits up so his music can be played, haven't seen that this week (4:35)

SummerSlam: Undertaker vs JBL for the WWE Championship
SummerSlam :Summertime Blues by Rush

Tonight: Bubba Ray Dudley (w/WWE Cruiserweight Champion Spike Dudley) vs Scotty 2 Hotty

Jamie Noble (Hanover, WV, 200 pounds) vs Shannon Moore (Raleigh, NC, 207 pounds) - They haven't done this match in a little while. Shannon's a face this week. Lockup. Noble with a drop toe hold, chinlock, Shannon armdrag into an armbar. Noble kip ups to his feet, but Shannon manages to keep the armbar. DeMott says Noble is the best technical wrestler in the WWE, and one of the best cruiserweights of all time (and so is Shannon.) Jamie rolls and cartwheels into a northern lights reversal of the armbar. Shannon kips up to help reverse to a hammerlock. Noble back elbows free. Right. Headlock, shot off, back with a shoulderblock. Cover one tow no. Noble with a stomp. Elbow. Whip, Noble thinks backdrop and Shannon thinks flipping over him. Good thought. Shannon with waistlock, Noble with a waistlock, Shannon charges to the ropes and drops down, sending Noble through the ropes and to the floor. Shannon backs up and runs - tope con giro! Somersault plancha, good enough Josh. Replays, as DeMott complains about Shannon Moore doing a dive. Noble thrown back in, Shannon taking his time going up. Top rope nothing, with Shannon dropping his midsection on Noble's knee. Noble with kicks to the midsection. Suplex, one two no. Stretching armbar by noble, then switching to a bodyscissors submission. Shannon tries to elbow his way out, but gets an eye rake. Noble lets go to argue with Brian Hebner and goes back to work with punches forearms to Shannon's head. Whip, Shannon rolls over the knee into an inside cradle one two no. Noble up first, kick, double underhook, Shannon escapes with a double leg takedown, nice legdrop! I thought he was going for the Jeff Hardy double low blow legdrop for a second there, but it was a traditional one. Both guys are slow up, with Shannon using the ropes to help him up. Noble's punch blocked, Moore's punch is not. Shannon right, right, Noble stops him with a knee. Short clothesline is ducked, Shannon off the ropes and nailing his own clothesline. Clothesline. Whip, reversed, reversed again into a drop toe hold, and here's the Hardy running hipcheck to the back. Noble stumbles into a Northern Lights Suplex one two NO. Shannon pounds the mat. Suplex - no, Jamie blocks it, kneelift, kneelift, and Noble loads Shannon up on the rope. What does 2BME mean? Noble going up to joining Shannon, but Shannon fights him - yea, big face first front suplex by Shannon. Shannon waits for Noble to get up and turn around - second rope leg lariat. Both guys down, Shannon crawling over to cover one two no. Shannon is slow up to follow up. Right. Right. Right, but Noble rushes through it, running Shannon back first into the corner. Shannon uses the ropes to lift himself up and kick Noble away, then starts climbing up again. HALO but Noble sidesteps! Noble gathers himself, Tiger Driver one two three (5:34)

Up Next: the Relay Match

We pick up in time for the French Tickler. (3:58)

SummerSlam: Booker T (c) vs John Cena in the Best of 5 Series for the Undisputed US Title
SummerSlam: Rey Mysterio and WWE Tag Team Champions Billy Kidman, Paul London vs Spike, Bubba and D-Von Dudley
SummerSlam: Edge (c) vs Batista vs Chris Jericho for the InterContinental Championship
SummerSlam: Kane vs Matt Hardy in a Till Death Do Us Part match
SummerSlam: Jazz, Molly, Gail, Nidia, Stacy, Victoria and WWE Woman's Champion Trish vs Joy, Michele, Carmella, Christy, Amy, Tracie and Maria in a Diva Dodgeball match
SummerSlam: Triple H vs Eugene
SummerSlam: Chris Benoit (c) vs Randy Orton for the World Heavyweight Title
SummerSlam: Eddie Guerrero vs Kurt Angle
SummerSlam: Undertaker vs JBL (c) for the WWE Title

Up Next: Bubba Ray Dudley (w/WWE Cruiserweight Champion Spike Dudley) vs Scotty 2 Hotty

Anaconda Kidman and London beat up of Thursday

Scotty 2 Hotty (Westbrook, ME, 217 pounds) vs Bubba Ray Dudley WWE Cruiserweight Champion Spike Dudley (150 pounds) - Huh? Chimel, as confused as me, gives Spike's weight, so is he wrestling here? Wait, now Bubba is trailing far behind.

Scotty 2 Hotty (Westbrook, ME, 217 pounds) vs Bubba Ray Dudley (310 pounds, w/WWE Cruiserweight Champion Spike Dudley) - That was weird. Here's the spat from Thursday that sets up this match. This backstage bit was nominated for the Most Velocity Wrestlers Standing Around In The Background For No Particular Reason award! They don't let us see Funaki think about helping after the Dudleys have left, which was my favorite part. Back to the match. Circle. Bubba with a waistlock, takedown. Bill notes how everyone just stood around and just watched Scotty get punked out. Bubba lets Scotty back up so he can taunt. Big hiptoss. Now Bubba and Spike are both talking. Bubba tells Scotty that he has to get through him to get to Spike. This leads to my favorite Josh line of all time:

Bill: "Don't you always have to beat a top contender to get at the champion?" 
Josh: "Bubba Ray Dudley is not a cruiserweight!" 
Bill: "Oh oh oh oh, so now we're taking shots at his weight."
Josh: "I would never say that."
Bill: "You just said he wasn't a cruiserweight."
Josh: "He's not a cruiserweight, that's a fact! There's no, there's no rational conversations with you, ever."

Headlock's been on through all of this. Scotty tries to shoot Bubba off, but Bubba's not going. Bill: "Spike's honest! Bill DeMott's honest! Hell, Kurt Angle's honest!" Bubba shot off for real this time, and Scotty is leveled by the shoulderblock. Scotty moves out of the way of the elbow drop, armdrag, armdrag, armbar, no Bubba rolls out to escape. Spike's over to check on Bubba - wait, he's over to slap some sense into Bubba. And twice! Bubba is begging off! That's different. Bill: "What do you think the 3D stand for, Josh? Dudley Dudley Dudley." I don't know how much more I can take. Josh rightly laughs at him. Lockup, Bubba forces Scotty in the corner. Clean break? No, shoulder in the gut, and another. Elbow, elbow, elbow, Bubba backing off for a moment. Corner whip, Bubba charges into a back elbow. Scotty charges - no, he doesn't because Spike's grabbed a leg. Scotty out after him, Spike running away, Scotty following after him, back in and killed by a Bubba clothesline. Bubba could not be more proud. Elbow to the inside of the leg. Right. Right. Bill thinks Orlando Jordan should be allowed to interfere in the title match because it's only Orlando Jordan. Scotty loaded up on the top rope, and hung back for the Tree of Woe. Loud Scotty chant doesn't help when Spike distracts Jimmy Korderas from Bubba grinding his boot into Scotty's groin. Bubba backs off to let Korderas get Scotty free, and then sneaks back to choke Scotty and rake the eyes. Bubba grabs Scotty off the rope rope, big back suplex. Relaxed cover one two no. Chinlock. Scotty pushed down so Bubba can taunt him. Scotty fires back with a punch. Punch battle is won by Scotty. Whip, reversed, Scotty with a jumping forearm. Back elbow. Back elbow. Whip, reversed, cross body actually knocks down Bubba. One two no. Though he was going to catch him there. Scotty with a right hand, tot eh corner for corner punches, one two three four five six seven eight nine TEN! They never get to ten! Perhaps those being horrible punches helped! Superkick! One two NO. Bubba pulls himself up in the middle of the camera side ropes, and Scotty senses it. Off the ropes, two handed bulldog connects. It's time. W O R punch Spike on the apron, turn and Bubba spears him! One two three. (6:23) Spike decides they're not done. Both in, and while Bubba fixes his pants, Spike stomps some. Ah, Bubba was untying his belt. Spike whips Scotty with the belt while Bubba stops Korderas from getting involved. Choke with the belt. Scotty's turning red, but Spike's letting go. Play his music. Bubba asks Spike if he did okay, and Spike slaps him for being annoying.

That's it.