TV PG V CC entertainment open

"Reflection of Perfect" Mark Jindrak (Atlanta, GA, 263 pounds) vs Scotty 2 Hotty (Westbrook, ME, 217 pounds) - your announcers are Bill and Josh and an annoying lack of sync between the video and the audio. Later, the SummerSlam main event! Let's wonder what Jindrak thinks about Theodore R. Long, SmackDown GM. Circle. Josh: "You can't question Mr. McMahon's track record. Obviously, Mr. McMahon sees something in Theodore Long that the rest of haven't seen yet." Lockup, Jindrak backs Scotty in to the corner, killer left hand. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Bill: "You do have to question Mr. McMahon, because who employed Kurt Angle as General Manager?" Wow, point for DeMott. Boot choke. Standing dropkick. One two no. Josh is willing to suck up to the new boss. Chinlock. Scotty battles back up. Elbows. Off the ropes, clothesline misses, Scotty with a semi-big right. And another. Whip, reverse, fivearm. Back elbow. He's pumped. Corner whip, charge in to a back elbow. Jindrak gathering himself, slow to follow up. Clothesline is ducked, Scotty steps and superkicks. Scotty collapses, and is slow up as the fans realize where Jindrak landed and what's next. So does Bill. He's not a fan. W O R M  woo woo woo who who JINDRAK KIPS UP. Oh no. Staredown, with Scotty looking freaked. Charge, and Scotty ends up backdropped to the apron. Scotty manages a kick from the outside. Slingshot sunset flip back in, but Jindrak's blocking it, sitting down, and grabbing the ropes - one two three (2:39)

Tonight: WWE Champion JBL in action

SmackDown! Live
09/01 - Bridgeport, CT
09/03 - Houston, TX [SD!]
09/07 - Baltimore, MD
09/08 - Hershey, PA
09/09 - Fort Wayne, IN

YJ new cruiserweight champion of Thursday

Chavo Guerrero (El Paso, TX, 213 pounds) vs #1 SmackDown! Announcer Funaki (Japan, 208 pounds) - Funaki's video package now features 200% more Funaki interviewing clips. And no Nidia. Circle. Clapping! Lockup. Chavo with a knee, stomp, stomp. Headlock. Elbows. Shot off. Chavo off the ropes, under, Funaki off the ropes, over, Funaki armdrag, armdrag, armbar. Twist. Elbow to the elbow! Chavo feigns reaching for the ropes in order to lure Funaki into a kneelift. Bill calls the Cruiserweight Belt "60 pounds of gold!" He even argues that this might be true! Whip, clothesline misses, Chavo's kneelift connects on the next pass one two no. Armbar. Funaki battling up, right, right, Chavo stops him with a knee. Chavo European Uppercut. Funaki right, Chavo European Uppercut, Funaki right, Chavo headlock punches, Funaki headlock punches. Whip, dropkick but Chavo hooks the ropes, then jacknife covers one two NO. Bill accidentally agrees with Josh on something, so he immediately flip flops his opinion. Funaki is thrown into the counter, but stops Chavo with a back elbow and a kick. Chavo's right is missed, Funaki kick catch enziguri. Bill: "So you're saying, when you get fired, I can take all your stuff and sell it on eBay?" "What do you mean, 'when I get fired'?" "I'm just saying. Perhaps." Both slow up, Chavo up a little quicker using the ropes. His punch is blocked, Funaki's right is not, Funaki right, right, whip, reversed, spinning headscissors looks a bit off but okay. Funaki is pumped. Whip, backdrop. "Funaki is the sleeper of the Cruiserweight division!" Which means he's about :40 away from taking a nap. Corner whip, rebound bulldog one two no. Funaki needs to stop stomping and start doing something. Charging towards Chavo into the corner for a monkey flip, Chavo catches and turns, leaving Funaki on the top rope, Funaki is good with this and slaps Chavo. Chavo falls to the mat, so Funaki goes all the way up, cross body, Chavo rolls through (and a slight tights pull) one two NO. Chavo with a stomp, checking his face. Suplex, Funaki slips behind, waistlock, Chavo with a standing switch, Funaki races to the corner and drops down at the last instant, running Chavo into the corner. Funaki walks back over towards Chavo, but takes a boot to the midsection. Funaki pulled over, Gory Special (Bill: "This one's over!" Josh: "You may be right! (for the first time in your career)" ) into the Gory Bomb. One two three (4:10) That was good. 

Tonight: WWE Champion JBL in action
Next: Eddie Guerrero's Wacky Auctions

You can paint a mustache on someone's picture and sell it, but you don't auction someone's gold medals. He's devised an anti-theft device! (3:39)
SummerSlam: Eddie Guerrero vs Kurt Angle
SummerSlam: Undertaker vs JBL (c) for the WWE Championship
SummerSlam: Chris Benoit (C) vs Randy Orton for the World Heavyweight Championship
SummerSlam: "Summertime Blues' by Rush

N-Gage not new tag team champions of Thursday

Basham Brothers (Columbus, OH, 495 pounds) vs FBI (451 pounds) - Once you hear the first music, you know the second music. Before we get started, Josh announces

SmackDown!: the Dudley Boys vs WWE Cruiserweight Champion Spike Dudley and Rey Mysterio

HMMMM. Nunzio and Doug to start. Nunzio ducks the lockup so he can do the jumping jacks. Danny warns him away form doing that sort of thing. Josh: "There's bigger fish to fry, and those big fish are Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley." "So, you're saying the Dudley Boys are fish." Lockup is avoided when Nunzio tries to make a run towards Johnny and gets shoved down. Doug mocks him, Danny shoves him, Nunzio swipes at Danny with a forearm and Doug drops him with the Last Impression to the back of the head. Double team stomp down is broken up to kick Johnny as he approached. Josh did acknowledge that these teams are in a low level death feud. Double suplex but Nunzio slips free, and the Bashams turn into a double clothesline from Johnny. Nunzio to the second rope, double crossbody is caught as Johnny is escorted out, and Nunzio is thrown out of the ring to the floor. Johnny over to check on his partner, but he's warned to stay away. Doug distracts so Danny can throw in Nunzio, one two Johnny breaks it up with a big stomp. Bid on Kurt's things at WWE.com! Tag to Danny, Doug with shoulders, Danny with punches to the midsection and the head. Elbow drop. Headbutt drop. Kick to the neck. Knee. Abdominal stretch. Bill says the Shadow Box (Angle's belt and the picture of him with the belt) is going for $2300 right now, which means "right now" is sometime Friday. Josh: "I bid $0.16." Yes, the Basham do use illegal leverage. Twice? Yes! Johnny keeps yelling and distracting Nick at the wrong time. Will they go for three? Doug reaches out - and yep, there you go. Johnny doesn't yell about it this time, so Nick catches it quite easily. Nunzio crawling for a tag while the Bashams argue with Nick Patrick. Doug alerts his brother just in time for an elbow drop. Free back elbow for Johnny while he's there. Danny drags Nunzio over to his corner, non tag to Doug for some stomping. Slam, and Danny quickly drops a second rope pump elbow drop. One two Johnny pulls Doug off. Doug glares at Johnny and leaves himself open for a Nunzio gut punch. Right, right, Doug runs Nunzio into the corner hard. Shoulder. Shoulder. Nunzio fights back with a forearm, chop from Doug, forearm form Nunzio, forearm from Nunzio, knee is caught into Doug's cradle back suplex one two NO. That's a great reversal spot given the popularity of kneelifts in recent days. And it looked good too. One two NO Johnny breaks it up again. Doug pulls Nunzio back into the Basham corner by his left leg, and tags in Danny. Danny stomps him. Danny runs Nunzio back first into the corner. Corner whip, Nunzio gets a boot up, Danny catches it and throws it down, Nunzio gets him with a back elbow anyway. Bill: "The bottom line is this is Sports Entertainment! Weren't you entertained when Kurt Angle jumped out of that wheelchair?" Danny charges again and takes a drop toe hold into the middle buckle. Now can Nunzio make a tag? Tag to Doug, tag to Johnny. Johnny shoulderblock, clothesline for Danny, clothesline for Doug, backdrop for Danny, spinebuster for Doug one two Doug breaks it up. Nunzio tries to attack Danny but gets laid out with a punch. Johnny has a kick for Danny, and a big right hand. Johnny turns around to see Doug staggering to his feet, and waits for him to come over. Doug tries to grab Johnny, and gets himself pressed. Doug sorta slips free and sorta falls to the mat, ending up not really hurt and with a waistlock, Johnny rushes to the ropes, Danny smacks Johnny in the head, Doug pulls him into a reverse rollup with a tights pull, one two Nunzio dropkicks Doug in the face and Johnny turns it over with his own tights pull one two THREE (6:51) Josh points out that the FBI has beaten the Bashams four weeks in a row. (It's 4 out of 5 - they didn't face four weeks ago, but close enough)

Tonight: WWE Champion JBL in action
Up Next: Theodore R. Long's first ruling is another first

8 Man Elimination Match, joining for the final 4. The best part might be when Tazz is shocked about being right. (3:24)

WWE Champion JBL (New York City, 297 pounds) vs - MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Bill: "The limo's exciting!" Bill could not be more excited. Let's shake some hands and show some advertisers.

WWE Champion JBL (New York City, 297 pounds) vs - Wait, no, he's got something to say. "It's Morning Again In America. And I am proud, extremely proud to be here as your WWE Champion. And in the spirit and the legacy, the great legacy, that I am already leaving behind me, with much more ahead, I am willing to risk, again here tonight, the life and limb and career of your WWE Champion and put it all on the line for you, my fans! Just last week, the Undertaker [pause for cheers] came out, when I was in a very weakened condition after having a long match, where I successfully won, I got up, the fighting champion that I am, and I threw a right hand at the Undertaker that if it had connected, it would have ended his career. But in the weakened condition that I was, he caught me and chokeslammed me. But being the fighting champion that I am, instead of mine championship against Shannon Moore at SummerSlam, I will now defend it against the Undertaker. But don't worry, fans have been calling all over, wanting me to defend my title, wanting me to step in the ring against top contenders every night, and that's what I'm doing tonight. Tonight, you will see me defend my reputation - oh, not the belt, I'm saving that for SummerSlam - my reputation against another top contender, Shannon Moore! Oh, the ratings are going to great. All the young girls love him, honestly, a lot of young guys do too. Hey, it's '04, I don't judge, that's okay. If you want to yell Moore, that's okay, but when you really listen - shhh shhh shhh shhh - from the Garden to the Pond, from Gund Arena to the American Airlines Arena in Dallas, you can hear the people chanting my name. Shhh. JBL JAY BEE ELL!  JAY BEE ELL!  JAY BEE ELL!  JAY BEE ELL! You can chant it all you want, because I am your hero! Now chant me through this match one more time, because you are my fans!"

WWE Champion JBL (New York City, 297 pounds) vs Shannon Moore (Raleigh, NC, 207 pounds) in a non-title match - Shannon looks more metrosexual than usual. Point for JBL. Bill says Shannon is motivated while Shannon shrugs. He seems less than excited. JBL needs to get his hands clean. I think he's got some issues there. HANDSHAKE! Sorta of a surprise to Shannon. Lockup, Shannon walked into the corner, clean break? Yes. Handshake again. Bill: "This is Velocity's SummerSlam main event!" Lockup, headlock by JBL, Shannon trying to elbow out, JBL is shot off with some effort, JBL back with a shoulderblock. JBL off the ropes, over, hiptoss is blocked and JBL uses his own. Shannon gets to his feet but is shoved in the corner. Big right form JBL. Big chop. Slam. Off the ropes, elbow drop but no one's home. Shannon with a kick, right, right, right, off the ropes, into a big boot. Shannon checks to see if he still has a nose. Big forearm to his back. Toying kick to the chest. Shannon backed up the corner and whipped out. JBL charges in, but eats boots. Shannon goes up, but doesn't make it all the way up before he gets forearmed. JBL to join him. JBL scooping him (Bill: "This is not going to be healthy.") - wow, second rope Last Call. Fist raise. Is he calling it? He is now. Off the ropes, Clothesline From Hell is begged off? And that works? JBL kicks him instead. Cigar snuffed out, big powerbomb. I don't know that Shannon ended up any better; dead is dead. One two three (2:25) He didn't even mess up his hair. Handshake from Brian Hebner! Bow for the crowd.

SmackDown!: Kurt Angle in action
SmackDown!: Rey Mysterio & WWE Cruiserweight Champion Spike Dudley vs the Dudley Boys

That's it.