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thug life Billy Kidman (Allentown, PA, 215 pounds) vs reflection of perfection Mark Jindrak (Atlanta, GA, 263 pounds, w/Theodore R. Long) - The hard camera is on the opposite side of the ring as usual, making the ramp on the right side of our screen and the announce desk on the left and it's going to throw me for the whole night. Your announcers on this 108th Velocity are Bill and Josh, and we're looking at them from a slightly different camera angle than usual too. Did Bill say all Velocity's feature Jamie Noble in singles action? Let me go back to not listening. WE DID THIS ONE ALREADY. You realize, with Kenzo debuting, they have three seperate guys (this one, that one, and Mordecai) likely all doing undefeated deals? Undefeated deals are wrestling for "we have no idea how to run angles with this guy, but eh might as well have him win." Bill marks out over the mirror being missing (another facet of Bizzaro Arena?) but Mr. Long still talks to us. It's nice of Kidman just to wait for him to get done talking. Here's your line: "You see, let me tell you something right now, I'm just like a mirror, the mirror don't lie: if I tell you that a rooster chew tobacco and a hen gets snub, then all you have to do is look under the wing and you'll fine the cup." Okay. YES KIDMAN PUNKS OUT JINDRAK! About time. Kidman forearms, corner whip, reversed, kip up headscissors takes Jindrak out, and Kidman pescados him, landing right in front of the desk. Kidman with right hand, whip, reversed, head down too soon so it gets kicked, off the ropes again and taking a tilt-a-whirl slam. Jindrak upset and stomping now. Mighty mighty Velocity undefeated streak. Jindrak wiping the mat with Kidman's face. Suplex. One two no. Chinlock. Taking a bit. Coming back up, elbow, elbow (Josh: "forearm"), elbow, off the ropes, sunset flip works! one two NO. Jindrak's left hook connects (for real! surprising Jindrak!) one two weak shoulder up. Back to the chinlock so Kidman can regain consciousness. Kidman trying to draw from the crowd. Crowd not helping out much. Kidman gamely trying anyway. Elbow, elbow, elbow, right, right, whip, reversed into a short kick and pelvic dance? That's new and yet undesired. Sets up the dropkick into the pushups into the sit ups into the kip up. Pose. Pose some more. Was there a match going on here? Comparisons to Rick Rude. Kidman slowly up, Jindrak grabs him and gets a chinbreaker. Kidman backs into the corner, Jindrak charge into boots. Kidman to the second rope, spinning back elbow! Clothesline, clothesline, eye poke by Jindrak. Jindrak off the ropes, Kidman nails him with his own dropkick one two NO. Kidman grabs Jindrak in a front facelock, and before you can even wonder about the improbability of a suplex, Jindrak slips free, slam, Kidman slips behind, kick catch enziguri one two foot on the ropes. We get a last second shot, but it appears Long might have had something to do with the foot getting there, or at least staying there (and Jim Korderas should've easily been able to see that.) Kidman thinks something's fishy and goes after Long, but that allows Jindrak to slip behind him. Back sup-no, Kidman slips behind, waistlock rollup one two NO. Crowd much much louder than when Kidman was trying to battle out of a rest hold. Whip, reversed into the Mark Of Excellence one two three (4:25) Turning point is Kidman going after Long, though Kidman nearly won after so was it really? 

Tonight: WWE Tag Team Champion Rico (w/Miss Jackie) vs Jamie Noble
Still to Come: Undertaker responds to Paul Heyman 

Titanium debut of Kenzo Suzuki of Last Thursday.

Hardcore Holly & Billy Gunn (503 pounds) vs Kenn Phoenix and Jason Pacaro (already in the ring) - Bill: "Two of the best bodies in the WWE" - we're questioning the sexuality of the wrong one. They actually give a graphic for the guys in the ring, which is great because I'd never spell it "Kenn" and come to think of it, why would you ever spell it Kenn, but bad because I usually use the excuse of not knowing people's names to do these matches and since I'm still not it seems a little bit more hollow. Why does Kenn have his top down? Kenn appears to weigh in the neighborhood of 140 pounds. Kenn's about to be killed Holly. Bill actually has a funny bit that I should transcribe in case it never happens again but I'll take that chance. Gunn and Holly treat this like an APA squash; there's a rumor a face may be in peril, but he sure ain't in this ring. Pacaro gets the wind and other substances knocked out of him on a Gunn tilt-a-whirl slam. The Super Low Blow is the Alabama Crunch or maybe Josh just made it up but it's sure better than BatistaBomb if I may see into the future somehow. Not by doing these out of order or anything. No tag move here, as typically vicious Alabama Slam will do it. (3:36)

Next: New York City?

Yes, New York City. I find it hard to believe Eddie Guerrero could get a limo license with his record. Wrestling must be fake! (3:58)
Great American Bash: Eddie Guerrero vs John Bradshaw Layfield in a Texas Bull Rope Match. 
I used to like the days when they announce a stipulation, and then they'd spend a few weeks building up to it with wacky stipulation shenanigans. Ah, maybe next week. 

Maxim Mysterio victory of Last Thursday

Akio (Japan, 200 pounds, w/Sakoda) vs Spike Dudley (150 pounds) - the shocking thing is Suzuki debuted on Thursday and it's Saturday and these two are still not his henchmen. Josh joke about movie star Akio here. Maybe they ARE with Kenzo and Akio's softening up his obvious next opponent. Bill thinks Sakoda is going to get involved because Spike said hello to him (he actually just pointed). Circle. Lockup, Spike shoved off. Circle. Lockup, no a kip ducks under, waistlock, snap mare, swat to the back of Spike's head. Spike doesn't not appreciate it, but Sakoda gives it a standing ovation. Test of Strength? No, Akio with a kick and a double wristlock. Spike tires to fight to his feet and gets another kick. Headbutt to the midsection, armdrag out, 'rana, dropkick and running in place stomp down in the corner. Whip, reverse, Spike stops short because he sees Sakoda waiting for him, Akio grabs him in a waistlock, Spike with a standing switch and a waistlock rollup one two Akio kicks him off into the ropes and Sakoda gets in his punch. Stomping, choke, Spike rolls out as Akio distracts Charles Robinson, and Sakoda drops him chin first on the apron. Spike thrown in one two NO. Stomp. Stomp. Akio off the ropes, legdrop, neck vice. Spike standing back up from it, elbow, elbow, off the ropes, into an Akio dropkick. Akio is pretty proud of himself. Choke on the middle rope. One two no. Standing surfboard, but Akio uses his head instead of a knee. After realizing he's probably hurting his neck more than Spike, Akio changed to the normal kneeling thing that's all the rage. Spike standing up, so Akio gives him a kick in the back and a back suplex, but of course Spike flips out onto his feet. Inverted atomic drop, clothesline combo. Both slow up, Akio's punch blocked, Spike's not. Spike right, right, corner whip, reveres, but Spike rebounds out of the corner with a battering ram. Right, setting up for the Dudley Dog but Akio shoves him off into the corner and nails him with the super kwang kick. Akio sets up Spike on the top rope? Top rope 'rana is - well, I guess it's supposed to be blocked, though Spike slips down to the second rope before pulling himself back up. Double stomp to the midsection, check. Punch to Sakoda on the apron, check. Dudley Dog, check. One two three. (4:42)

Next: Undertaker and Paul Heyman

SmackDown! Live
06/13 - St. Louis, MO [Red, White and Bruised]
06/14 - Springfield, IL [Red, White and Bruised]
06/15 - Chicago, IL [SD!]
06/22 - Orlando, FL [SD!]
06/26 - Trenton, NJ [Red, White and Bruised]

Motivation and other sentiments. Ah, this is just the proposition (1:53)
Josh and Bill set up
Undertaker's decision (2:21)

Up Next: WWE Tag Team Champion Rico (w/Miss Jackie) vs Jamie Noble

WWE Tag Team Champion Rico (Las Vegas, NV, 228 pounds, w/Miss Jackie) vs Jamie Noble (Hanover, WV, 200 pounds) - Josh: "Everytime Rico comes down here, look at me Bill - look at you - look at me, yea!" I'm sure that translates to something in English when you convert it from Josh-ese. Ah, clarification: "Every time Rico comes down to the ring, you stare at me." Bill asks for Josh to stop looking at him. "Charlie Haas, much like you, is MIA!" "What, I'm sitting next to you?" "M.I.A., get it?" "Oh, I got it." "yea, HAHAHA." Rico's looking quite round in the midsection. Maybe it's the outfit? There's definitely more than 28 pounds difference here. Noble ain't having nothing to do with that runway. So, last time Noble wore the orange trunks with the Confederate flag and you and me were making the obvious lines, Shane Osman theorized that it was a homage to the General Lee. I didn't agree, because you really need the 01 on the trunks to make it genuine. If you can now guess which numbers are on the side of Noble's trunks, you get a gold star. Lesson to be learned: wait till your trunks are finished before you wear them (or stop jumping to assumptions, whatever.) Oh boy, it's the patented Bill and Josh questionable comedy routine

Josh: Noble, who has more moves and counters than Jennifer Lopez has weddings
Bill: What? What does that have to do with anything?
Josh: It has a lot to do with everything!
Bill: I'm...I'm confused
Josh: That's not the first time you've been confused, Bill.
Bill: Well, I'm only confused when Rico's out here! ... 'cause Rico's confusing!
Josh: Rico is one half of the tag team champions-
Bill: But which half!

Deep. They're a lesser Mike and Mike, you know? Circle. Lockup, Rico shoves Jamie in the corner, Jamie demands a break loudly. Rico still has issues with Miss Jackie about his ruined rented tuxedo, 'ccording to Josh. Lockup, wait no Jamie needs to rethink this. Rico stretches his legs seductively. Or something. Jamie manages to get a hammerlock, reversed, Jamie stops that with a back elbow. Armbar, pumping the arm, forearms to the shoulders, Rico reverses. It's 3 AM, I'm waking up in 210 minutes, I just took a second to figure out minutes instead of hours for some odd reason, and I'm completely turning out the announcers now, but Bill's doing the deal where he's 'unwittingly' saying everything with a self-depreciating double meaning. Jamie kips up, knee to the midsection, snap mare, but Rico kicks him away. Rico drop toe hold, time to ride. GET HIM OFF OF ME. WHAT WAS THAT. HUH. THAT FOOL, RIDING ME, HUH. Slingshotted in. Top wristlock. Armbar. Jamie manages to leaver Rico into going into the turnbuckle. Rico's down, and Jamie slowly moves towards Jackie - now, not so slowly. Chase outside, Jackie tries to go inside buyt Jackie pulls her off. YOU THINK YOU'RE CUTE, THROW WATER IN MY FACE? WANNA EMBARRASS ME IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY? YOU THINK SO - and Rico kiss him. Noble thrown back in, and Rico checks on Jackie before following up. Jamie manages to surprise with a knee as he gets on the apron. Short clothesline. Pause to clean out his mouth, and then taking out in Rico's back via kicks. Dropping the hammer! Crowd chanting for Rico? Rico fires back with punches but an eye poke will stop him. Turnbuckle smash. Scoop, and hanging Rico in the tree of woe, then sliding out to pull Rico's head back. Fans are chanting LET'S GO RI CO. Noble back in to kick him. Swinging neckbreaker one two no. Chinlock. Jackie rallying the crowd. Rico battling up to his feet, but Jamie throws him down by the neck. Choking Rico with his own neck and yelling at him at the same time, Jamie's pretty cool here. Rico slips out - back suplex. Rico retreats to the corner, Jamie charges, Rico gets a boot up, Jamie catches it and spins him, but Rico clotheslines him anyway. Rico with the three kicks to the side and a jumping kick to finish in the corner. Rico with a turnbuckle smash, corner punches, one two three four fi-pushed off, and Jamie walks right into the standing spin kick one two NO. Shows how much I've been paying attention. Suplex, no Jamie slips behind, jumping neckbreaker! Jamie tries for the Tiger Driver he never hits, oh wow he got it reversed into a backdrop what are the odds, Jamie holds on for a sunset flip, Rico blocks it by sitting on him, one two three. (6:53) Bill says this is an upset, which is a nice thought. Thought not really true much.

SmackDown!: Undertaker and Paul Heyman allied?