TV 14 DLV CC entertainment

No Way out: Your New WWE Champion. Backstage, we see Farrooq and Rikisihi congratulating him. There's Rey. New name plate being screwed on. There's mom and Mondo. Eddie chant backstage. "Vickie, girls, I love you. Kate, I love you." Eddie calls home and thanks his wife for standing behind him, over a montage of clips - old (ECW), and now with the belt.  Holding the belt in the low rider. Thanks for fans waiting outside. Eddie Guerrero is your WWE Champion. (2:22)

open. fireworks.

Who's that jumping out of the sky?

WCW Cruiserweight Tag Team Champions Rey Mysterio (San Diego, CA, 185 pounds) and thug life Kidman (Allentown, PA, 215 pounds) vs Jamie "by god" Noble (Hanover, WV, 200 pounds) and Nunzio (201 pounds) - Some jokes will never get old to me, as you might be able to tell. Follow me here: they lost a tag team match to Matt and Shannon, but then beat them back. So they're still champions. You may think I'm insane, but probably less than the guys in the Mil Mascara masks standing in the crowd behind your announcers, Bill and Josh. Kidman's showing real dedication to the hot new tag team with Paul London, huh? COUSINS! JAMIE AND NUNZIO HUG! BECAUSE THEY'RE COUSINS! Josh: "Jamie Noble and Nunzio are cousins." THEY'RE COUSINS! I'm geeking out to a dangerous degree, this is far too much near-forgotten greatness for one match. Nunzio and Kidman will start. Lockup, Kidman goes behind for a hammerlock, Nunzio looks, slips behind for a full nelson, Kidman drops down to his back and hooks Nunzio into a bodyscissors rollup one two no. Kidman with a kick, corner whip, reversed, Nunzio charges into a double boot. Tag to Rey - Kidman plays Damien (giant swing) and Rey plays Halloween (dropkick to el head) in a quick tribute to Familia de Tijuana. Uno dos no. No is no in Spanish. Droppin' the knowledge. Kidman punches Nunzio, knocking him into the ropes. Too soon for the 619, whip, reversed, Rey slides under, Nunzio drops on him with an elbow. Pose, stomp. Whip, Rey uses the ropes for a kip up headscissors, but Nunzio blocks and drops him with a face first powerbomb one two no. Tag to Noble, hold for a kick. Noble forces Rey over to a neutral corner, shoulder, shoulder, chop. Pulling him out of the corner or some punch. Whip, big flapjack, big dropkick to the head. Bill congratulates his old MIA buddy Chavo for winning the Cruiserweight Title, without the "MIA buddy" part. My brain my explode if he did that. Noble whips Rey hard into the opposite corner. Chop, Rey gets in a kick. Noble punch, Rey punch, Rey back elbow, Noble's knocked down to one knee, Rey turns away and thinks about going up but waits, another back elbow for Noble, second rope springboard, Rey lands on Noble's shoulders, spinning around into a 'rana! Tag to Kidman, top rope cross body for Noble, right hand for Nunzio. Noble misses the clothesline, Kidman does not miss on the spinning headscissors. Nunzio in to take a clothesline, Noble takes the fireman's carry into a knee neckbreaker! He hasn't used that in a while. One two No Nunzio breaks it up. Nunzio with a whip, Kidman grabs the ropes, Nunzio charges, kick catch enziguri causes Nunzio to fly ten feet through the ropes and out of the ring. Noble finally stops Kidman's reign of terror with a clothesline to take him out of the ring. NOBLE TOPE! Rey going top rope - TOP ROPE PLANCHA ON NOBLE! It's breaking down in Mexico City! Everyone's down, must be time for a break. (3:05)

Jamie nearly totally whiffed on the catch there. Weird how we got the hot tag sequence without someone in peril, but this makes up for teasing the dive sequence last week and not doing it, seeing as this one came from nowhere. I'd have something more insightful to say, but they're taunting me with another John Henson Project commercial. Have I told you how much the new extended match times rule lately? 

Back, where it appears everyone's pulled them back to the ring or the apron or whatever. The legal men, as we last saw them, are in the ring - Noble and Kidman. Whip by Kidman, head down to soon, Noble knees it. Noble off the ropes again, but Kidman catches him with the BK Bomb.  Dragging him into position? While he does that, let's look at Rey's plancha to the floor. Still neat. In live action, Rey's all about yelling at Brian Hebner for something - Brian's too busy getting him back in his corner to listen, but the fans see Nunzio - Kidman yanked off the top rope by the arm, snapping it over the top rope on his way back to the ground. Noble staggers to his feet, grabs Kidman, and tag Nunzio. Kneebar! Hey wait Nunzio, you hurt his arm, maybe you want to work on that? Nunzio does notice that Kidman is doing his patented "my left shoulder hurts so my arm my stay close to my torso and be immobile at all times" sell and stomps that shoulder. Snap mare, armbar. Knee to the arm while he's doing that, nice adjustment. Nunzio also finds time to yell. Crowd is really into this. Kidman battling up, right hand, right hand, right hand, off the ropes, Nunzio head down too soon, Kidman sunset flip one two NO! Arrivederci works! That might do it one two Rey breaks it up. Slam, knee pad lowered, knee drop. Tag to Noble, stomp to the arm as Nunzio holds it. Crank on the arm. Forearm to the shoulder, Crank on the shoulder. Dropkick. Oh, they're chanting 619, that's what I didn't get. Noble with a hammerlock, tripping Kidman down to the mat. Forcing it into Kidman's back. Fans aren't happy with Noble. Noble lets go, so he can elbow drop the shoulder. Seated top wristlock. Kidman trying to knee out, but you don't out knee Jamie Noble. Shot for Rey, for standing on the apron like that. How dare he. Armbar, tag to Nunzio. Kick to the shoulder. Snap mare, dropkick to the face, one two no. Tag to Noble. Stomp directly on the left shoulder. Back to the hammerlock. Kidman trying to gut it out. Noble trying to break the arm. Kidman trying to fight out with punches again, reversing into a flapjack. Can he make the tag? No, Noble grabs him in an armbar. Kidman tries a clothesline with the other arm, Noble ducks under, off the ropes, and into a dropkick. Is he going to be able to make the tag? He's crawling on one arm. Up - and tag to Rey! Springboard Thesz Press for Noble! Off the ropes, duck a clothesline, floataround into a Russian Legsweep one two NO. Forearm, whip, reversed, quebrada is caught, Rey reverse DDT! One two Nunzio breaks it up with an elbow drop! Nunzio has Rey up, slam, Rey slips behind, dropkick into the ropes, 619! Noble's the legal man, but Rey's on the apron and driving a shoulder into the gut. West Coast Pop - no, blocked and pushed off. Tiger Driver! One two NO Kidman breaks it up! Noble up and forearming Noble. Corner whip, no Kidman reverses it back to the corner they started. Kidman charge in and takes a back elbow as Noble goes to sit on the top rope. Kidman spins out of an armbar and pounds Noble as he's sitting up there. Noble kicks Kidman, Kidman spins around, Rey charges, Kidman boosts Rey up, off the top rope 'rana! Kidman gives Nunzio a sliding dropkick to keep him out, Rey covers one two THREE (8:45) Champions retain! And also possibly the best Velocity match ever. You choose which is more important. Replays as Kidman still holds that arm.

Still to Come: Eddie Guerrero may be bouncing in his low rider, but he's INTENSE for his match versus Chavo
Tonight: Rikishi and Scotty II Hotty vs Chuck Palumbo and Johnny Stamboli

WM Recall: Undertaker vs Sycho Sid for the World Title, WMXIII, 1997. Undertaker wins without the help of Bret Hart, which may or may not be the way you remember it happening. Assuming you remember this at all. I think I've seen this one before too.

Rhyno (Detroit, MI, 275 pounds) vs Shannon Moore (Raleigh, NC, 207 pounds) - Josh reminds us that Undertaker's never lost at WrestleMania. You know, I know the weight are fake and all, but Shannon Moore is not 7 pounds heavier than Jamie Noble and they're both not over 200 pounds. They're not. C'mon. Why does this bug me every couple months? The closed captioning has Shannon at 172 pounds, which may be a lot closer to the truth. Josh tries to hype Shannon up as someone who takes a lot of ambush, and Bill knocks him down by pointing out that he hasn't beat anyone since that one fluke win over A-Train many many weeks ago. Shannon ducks the lockup and goes to work with kicks and punches. I guess he's a face this week? Whip, reversed into an armbar, Shannon with a forward roll and kip up to escape into his own armbar. Rhyno tries a short clothesline, Shannon ducks it, kick, right, right, corner whip, reversed, Shannon kips up and out, pointless flip, taunt, and Rhyno runs right into the wheel kick, one two no. Bill: "I'm a big Shannon Moore fan, I just want him to step up and do what he's capable of doing." "So you're a Moore-on?" "Know what? We're going fight." Josh desperately tries to explain the MooreOn concept, as if to save his life. "Shannon Moore is the leader of the MooreOns!" "We're going to fight." Shannon with an armbar, top wristlock and Rhyno throws him down by his hair. Rhyno shaking the life back into his arm a bit. No hurry. Bill would rather be called dude than moron, but don't call him dude either. Forearm. Whip, Shannon slides under, ARMbar. Wristlock. Rhyno kicks his way out, short clothesline is ducked by Shannon, and Shannon pulls him down by his hair. Unlike Rhyno, Shannon gets caught and yelled at - which more serves as a distraction for Rhyno to run him over with a huge clothesline. "WHO'S THE MAN" Right hand. Off the ropes, boot to the head. One two no. Corner whip, Rhyno with a charging shoulder that is not a Gore. Rhyno wants to know who the man is. Choke on the ropes. Rhyno pulls Shannon up by his hair, Shannon tries kicking his way free, Rhyno stops him with a knee. Hard corner whip, Shannon goes down. One two no. "THREE!" No, two. Over the shoulder backbreaker hold by Rhyno. He's pulling on the arms rather than grabbing at the midsection. Shannon manages to slip out after about ten seconds, off the ropes, right into Rhyno's kneelift. Rhyno's pose annoys Bill. Right hand by Rhyno. Off the ropes, Shannon surprises him with a leg lariat. Both men down now. One two three four five six seven eight (both crawling - Shannon up in the corner to stop the count.) Rhyno charges Shannon in the corner, Shannon moves out of the way in time. Forearm, forearm, forearm, forearm, off the ropes, duck a clothesline, jumping clothesline. Crawling over to cover one two NO. Rhyno stops Shannon with a punch. Corner whip, Rhyno charges into a double boot. To the second rope - Mooregasm! one two NO. Shannon holding his back as he gets up. Off the ropes, right into the Concrete Crunch. Rhyno looks to end this. Waiting to hit the Gore, but Shannon has to get back up first. GORE. One two three. (5:47) Rhyno's back on track after No Way Out, Josh assures us.

YJ Stinger Brock begs for a match for a match with Goldberg of last Thursday

Sakoda (Japan, 237 pounds) vs Paul London (Hartford, CT, 200 pounds) - Does Akio and Sakoda's music have lyrics now? They're so low you can't make 'em out. Lockup, Sakoda with a waistlock, London looking for a way out, pounding the lock but still no, stomping on Sakoda's foot does work. Waistlock by London. Sakoda powering out, London turns it into an armbar, then pulls Sakoda into a headlock. Sakoda tries to back suplex out, but London blocks it (strongly cranking on Sakoda's neck in the process.) Sakoda battles to the ropes, so London uses them to climb up and land behind Sakoda, kick to the backside. Sakoda is annoyed, London ducks a clothesline and gives on a headlock takedown. Rolling Sakoda over to his back, one two no. one two no. Sakoda using a hair pull to get free, corner whip for London, London kips up and out on the charge, Sakoda charges out into a leg lariat, nearly the same set of spots as the last match, one two no. London picks up Sakoda, Sakoda stops that with a knee. Corner whip, Sakoda charges into a boot. London to the second rope, Sakoda charges again, London does his second rope leap over stomp. Josh: [sings a few notes familiar video game song] "Mushroom Stomp by Paul London!" That'll work. London charges Sakoda now, and takes a flapjack on the corner. London is staggered, and knocked out of the ring via running knee to the back. Sakoda recovers in the ring rather than following London on the outside, which Bill thinks is a terrible move and a sign of bad conditioning. London to the apron, Sakoda suplexes him in one two no. Bearhug. Nice that they time info graphics for the rest hold. London down to one knee, but trying to elbow out. Sakoda lets go, but gives London a forearm to the back. Hard corner whip. One two no. Headbutt to the back. Stomp. Stomp. Sakoda backed off by Charles Robinson. London gets out of the ropes, and gets a forearm in the back. Side backbreaker, Sakoda stretching London out over the knee. London manages to use kneelifts form that position to get out of the hold. Sakoda recovers, then tries an elbow drop - no one home. Josh tells his story of why he was late to Velocity today - he got pulled over by a cop who thought he was a high school student ditching class. (On a Saturday? Oh right, it's probably Wednesday or Thursday or Friday in Josh's world.) Sakoda up first still, off the ropes, right into the dropsault. One two no. Bill: "It's Saturday, why would he pull you over, late for school?" Hahaha awesome. London's whip is blocked, so he reveres Sakoda's whip into the climb up enziguri. "I meant, I meant this happened yesterday." "Whatever." London crawling to cover. London crawling past the cover. Oh, he's going up. He's never going to hit this move at this rate. Although Sakoda still hasn't moved an inch. Wait, he's up. Up to the second rope, but London pushes him back down. FIREBIRD SPLASH HITS NO ONE! Well, he's dead. Sakoda recovers in the corner, slow to follow up. Flapjack lift into a spinebuster one two three. (6:00) Well, not only did we get Sakoda's finisher out of this, but we've know what the future looks like for Paul London. The DeMott Turning Point is London's decision to go for a top rope move rather than a pin.

Up Next: Eddie vs Chavo for the WWE Title

SmackDown Live
2/23 - Joplin, MO 
2/24 - Kansas City, MO [SD!] 
2/26 - Capetown, South Africa [Passport to Pain - South Africa, SOLD OUT]
2/27 - Durban, South Africa [Passport to Pain - South Africa, SOLD OUT]
2/28 - Johannesburg, South Africa [Passport to Pain - South Africa, SOLD OUT]
2/29 - East Rand, South Africa [Passport to Pain - South Africa, SOLD OUT]

WMXX in 22 days

Bill thinks Chavo is getting enough congratulations, so he does so himself.

Guest referee madness. And then the match. and turn. (4:37)

Up Next: Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty vs Chuck Palumbo and Johnny Stamboli

Snickers Rump Shaker on Shaniqua of last Saturday

WWE Tag Team Champions Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty (564 pounds) vs the FBI (Johnny and Chuck, 580 pounds) in a non-title match - Josh thinks a win by the FBI right here could make their very careers. Rikishi and Scotty fool around. Ready? Chuck and Scotty will start this off a half minute after the bell. Lockup, Scotty shoved down and into the corner. Chuck muscle pose taunts. Scotty back up, ducking the lockup, kick, headlock. Back suplex is blocked. Scotty shot off, Chuck clothesline misses, Scotty's spinning headscissors does not. Kip up, moonwalk, taunt. Scotty ducks a clothesline, chop, chop, chop, whip, reversed, Scotty slides under, Chuck turns, deadly Palumbo right hand punch and Scotty is out. Palumbo is warned by Nick Patrick about the illegal closed fists, but Chuck just points to his head. Scotty still ain't moving. Tag to Johnny, who decides it might be worth covering, one two no. Neck vice. Chinlock. Driving it in, all the way down to the mat. Crowd rallying for Scotty, Scotty starting to rally back himself. Back elbow, back elbow, back elbow, right, right, make the tag? Johnny stops this with a knee, and a forearm to Rikishi. Corner whip, down goes Scotty. Bill thinks that, perhaps, no one knocked Kurt Angle out two weeks ago. Tag to Chuck. Chuck letting Scotty start to crawl to Rikishi, waiting, waiting, waiting, Scotty's crawling slow, getting close so Chuck stomps him. Back suplex. One two no. Chuck thought that might be it. Cravate? Sure. Scotty fighting out, stopped by a knee again. "Scotty waited for five years to become a champion" - what about the LH Title? Corner whip, Chuck charges into Scotty's boot, elbow for Stamboli, trying to leap Palumbo to make a tag but Chuck catches him and throws him back towards the FBI corner. Scotty tries crawling under Scotty's legs, but Chuck stops him and grabs him by the leg. Josh is really rooting hard for the babyfaces this week, like it's a world title match and the FBI are the evilest people in the world. Scotty's just a hands length away, but Chuck is keeping him from going any further by holding on to one leg. And since Chuck is just holding on to one leg, we're just waiting for it - foot catch enziguri works. Now Scotty might be able to crawl and make that tag. Crowd is loud. Tag to Rikishi, tag to Johnny. Rikishi punching like crazy, whip, clothesline, backdrop for Palumbo, Johnny thrown over the top. Chuck misses a clothesline, kick DDT. Rikishi setting up for it - running butt splash. Chuck with punch drunk wild punches as he collapses into the corner. Rikishi hears him drop, but doesn't know that Johnny's sneaking back in the corner - clothesline as Rikishi turns around. Scotty off the ropes, two hand bulldog on Johnny. Bill still doesn't get it the W O R M woo woo woo who who who ha WHACKED. Rikishi returns the favor with a thrust kick for Chuck, and after Johnny misses a clothesline, a thrust kick for him. Dragging Johnny over to the corner to finish it. They're the legal men. Rump Shaker, one two three. (6:16) Hey Josh, he didn't hook the leg.

That's it.