TV 14 dlv cc entertainment open

Nunzio (201 pounds, w/Chuck Palumbo) vs Paul London (Hartford, CT, 200 pounds) - Hmm, DeMott sounds a lot like Tazz this week - your hosts are indeed Josh and Tazz though it seems as though we're not getting a desk shot. I'm not sure what's better: two weeks of no DeMott or, as I was secretly hoping, that they just gave Spanky's old music/entrance style to Paul London. Actually, London swerves everyone by stopping short of the ring on his run and instead walking up the steps. Tazz: "I saved you from sitting with Michael Cole again." Nunzio is thrilled to be here. Bill is building a farm? And Tazz is the creative consultant? Over my head. Lockup, Nunzio with a waistlock, London with a switch, Nunzio trying to switch but London keeps spinning with him, and Nunzio gets to the ropes as Josh verbally reaches for them in his conversation with Tazz. Tazz: "So, Nunzio 'grew up in high school'? He didn't go to kindergarten or second grade, just grew up in high school?" "He was a prodigy." Nunzio wants to restart this from all fours. Nunzio: "Get on!" "Just like you and Cole! 'Get on top, Cole!" "Have I told you how great it is to have have you here?" London, deciding someone's gotta be the brains of this operation, gets us back going again by surprising Nunzio with an Oklahoma roll one two no. Nunzio up and shoving, London shoving him down, headlock takedown. Nunzio forcing the headscissors reversal. London head standing out of it, cover one two no. Nunzio with a chop, London with forearms, forearms win. Corner whip, reversed, Nunzio charges into a back elbow. London to the second rope, Nunzio charges in again, London jumps over Nunzio, kicking him into the corner on his way down. Nunzio out with a clothesline, waistlock roll up one two no. London with a right hand, and now he's going up. Slowing up near the top, and Nunzio stops him with a punch. Nunzio setting London's legs on the inside of the ropes - dragon screw leg whip off the second rope! Leg bar on - Nunzio right near the ropes so London can get to them after about ten seconds of the hold, but its done its job. Nunzio and Chuck point to their heads - they've taken out a leg, taking away his speed. Stomps. Jumping jacks. Johnny isn't here because he's got a match with Bradshaw later. Forearms to the back to knock London down. Standing toe hold. Tazz and Josh discuss the heritage of the pizza and the jumping bean. London turning out of the hold, snap mare follows by an inside cradle one two no. Nunzio trips London back up, and has a word with Chuck before following up one two NO. Knee smash. 

Tazz: "You don't always have to hook the leg." 
Josh: "Never?
Tazz: "No, not never! ... These are the reasons, the ingredients why you never won Tough Enough."

London with a small package one two no! Nunzio clips out London's leg before he can do more. Snap mare. Toehold with a foot on the back of the leg. Maybe that's more of a knee hold. Whatever. London is trying to rally up and the crowd is chanting something or other. London sorta manages to escape and kick Nunzio away. Tazz's mission is to drive Josh absolutely nuts tonight, and he's already succeeded. Nunzio is the first one up, but London evades the trip attempt. Forearm, but Nunzio has the leg. Enziguri is duck, but London waves the leg back the other way and hits Nunzio anyway one two NO. Tazz attempts to sing London Calling. Whip, no London with a "Front Salto Suplex", London into a cover one two no. Whip, backdrop - looked like neither guy knew what the other one wanted but Nunzio escaped with his head. Drop Sault connects but London is down catching his knee one two NO. Tazz: "I heard you drop the soap" Josh: "I knew that was coming." "I guess you know everything about me, Josh." Corner whip, reversed, London kips up and out but lands bad on the leg and collapses. Nunzio sets himself on the second rope while London gets back up - second rope dropkick to the face one two three. (6:35) That was especially brutal looking. "So we going to do, what is that called, 'the Bill DeMott Woody Roundup' thing?"

Still to come: Paul Heyman announces who will be #1 contender at WM
Next: WGTT vs Ultimo Dragon and Funaki

MX New Tag Team Champions Unleashed of Last Thursday. So is Scotty over being beat by Rikishi?

the Self Proclaimed World's Greatest Tag Team (489 pounds) vs Ultimo Dragon & Funaki (393 pounds) - and now we get the announce desk shot, odd. It's monocolor shirt day on Velocity. Hey! Funaki knows how to do the fire bit this time! Tazz: "When you ring my bell, that same thing happens." Tazz coughs during Josh's reading of Monster.com's ad. "I love Monster. 'YAAAAAH!' You know what that is? That's a monster." And then he uses Cole's tool joke on Josh. Funaki and Shelton start. Lockup, Shelton with a knee, forearm to the back, stand on the back of the head. Short clothesline is ducked inside cradle one two no. Shelton with a knee to stop that. Knee. Whip, head down too soon and Funaki knees it. Off the ropes, under a clothesline, big spinning headscissors. Ultimo in without a tag but with a cross body, Shelton catches, Funaki dropkicks Ultimo over, Charles Robinson counts? one two NO. Oh wait, there was a blind tag back there that I and Tazz missed. Tazz and Josh assume it's lucha rules and then start shouting "MUCHA LUCHA!" and continue to generally go insane. Tazz loves the show. Dragon with a headlock, but Shelton back shim into his corner, blind tag by Haas (who shaved?), Ultimo shot off, Shelton forearm to the midsection, Haas over the top with a sunset flip one two no. Haas with a stomp. Whip, Ultimo over, under, Haas poses and gets tripped up. Soccer kick to the back, running soccer kick to the chest one two Benjamin breaks it up. Dragon with an open hand slap, another, kicks in the corner. Corner whip, Dragon charges into a back elbow, Haas charges out right into the one two three kick combo - no, Haas falls backwards out of the way of the jump spinning heel kick to the midsection, Haas off the ropes with a clothesline, Ultimo ducks and hits the non jumping version of that kick, pose, 3/4 facelock, wait, Shelton starts to come in, Funaki comes in, Charles tries to stop Shelton but switches to cut off Funaki, Ultimo goes for his move, but Shelton charges him on his shoulder. Shelton and Charlie with a nice shoulder slam/side backbreaker combo and get everything cleaned up just in time for Charles to turn around and count one two no. Haas with stomping, and choking on the middle rope. Tag to Shelton, double suplex, one two no. Knee to the back. Corner whip, Ultimo goes down. Shelton runs Ultimo back first in the corner and tags to Haas. Kicks. Tazz has somehow become Jesse Ventura for a moment. Second rope knee to the head by Haas. Forearm. Tazz: "I said poop! hahaha poop" Haas with a whip, Ultimo back with a sunset flip, one two no. Haas grabs a leg and pulls Ultimo over so eh can tag to Ultimo. Kick to the chest by Haas. Bodyscissors sleeper by Shelton. Crowd rallying for Ultimo but I don't think he's ready to get out quite yet. Now he wants to rally out but they're not clapping for him. He's trying to kick pounds the mat but no one's reacting. Josh: "This kinda looks like that Tazzmission a bit." Tazz: "Yea, it does, it's the same as the Tazzmission but different." Now they're clapping again and he's not rallying. That's just bad timing. Ultimo rallying up regardless. Elbow out, but Shelton stops that with a knee. Whip, backdrop but Ultimo lands on his feet, Ultimo ducks a clothesline, quebrada! No cover, both men down and needed a tag. Shelton is up but staggered. Tag to Haas, tag to - huh? Haas got a piece of Ultimo at the last second, but I think Ultimo just swung and missed. Haas quickly takes advantage by knocking Funaki off the apron and grabbing Ultimo. Butterfly suplex one two no. Tag to Shelton, kick to the ribs. Whip, Ultimo ducks a clothesline, superkick! Ultimo kinda dropped himself with that kick. Tazz isn't calling it a superkick for whatever reason. I mean, I'm sure "crescent kick" is just as accurate as "superkick", just like "springboard moonsault bodyblock (in ring)" is as good as "quebrada", but some things are funnier/easier to type. This time, can he make the tag? Shelton can, but he prefers to make a move towards Ultimo first. Tag to Funaki! Shelton actually starts to back off! before realizing it's Funaki. Shelton misses a clothesline, Funaki, chop, chop, chop, whip, back drop. Kick catch enziguri for Haas. "Shades of Pokerface!" Shelton stops this with a knee to Funaki. Corner whip, Shelton charges in but no one's home, Funaki bulldog one two NO. Haas with a big forearm for Funaki. Whip, reversed, Ultimo trips up Haas he gets to the ropes, and Funaki kills him with a dropkick to the face. Funaki charges Shelton, Shelton scoops him up, Funaki quickly falls into a inverted DDT, one two NO Haas breaks it up with a legdrop. That might have been quicker than either guy expected. Ultimo back in, jumping spinning back heel kick to take out Haas, pescado to keep him there. Shelton setting up for it as Funaki gets up, superkick kick, Dragon Whip connects! It does exist, Sven! One two three (7:45) Tazz even called it, how about that. These matches continue to be four or five levels of awesome. Somewhere up there, Josh noted that tSPWGTT did beat the new champions last week on Velocity and perhaps they're in line for a title shot in the near future. 

Up Next: Who's in Playboy? We get as far as "SmackDown's own"

Tazz: "Hahahaha DeBona! ahahaha"
I think Rue stole Heat's old capitalizing machines. Behind the scenes footage! So are we to think this all happened sometime between Monday or Thursday or Stacy and Jackie just didn't know? (1:30)

This Thursday: an Exclusive Interview With Torrie and Sable. Maybe they'll explain why they don't hate each other anymore? Actually, they don't have to do that as long as this is not leading to some really bad match down the line.

Still to Come: SmackDown, land of opportunity.

SmackDown Live!
2/8 - Saskatoon, SK
2/9 - Vancouver, BC
2/10 - Tacoma, WA [SD!]
2/15 - San Francisco, CA [SD!]
2/16 - Stockton, CA

YJ Stinger Nidia is a better looking Andre the Giant of Last Thursday

Rhyno (Detroit, MI, 275 pounds) and A-Train (Boston, MA, 350 pounds) vs Bobby Rude & John Murry (475 pounds, already in the ring) - um, no. Although it's amusing that A-Train and Rude act like they have issues (for reasons I can't possible figure/remember) and Rhyno appears to be the brains and calm one of his team. I'll do the Rude match when he's on Heat. Tazz: "RHHHHHHYNO! I love yelling names." Rhyno almost goes into orbit on a Rude armdrag, which is interesting. A-Train: "You ain't got nothing!" Tazz: "That's not proper grammar." Tazz calls a drop toe hold. "You probably would've called it a step over toe hold." "I probably wouldn't have." Crowd 3D's the Gore on Murry, and are correct. (4:34) Does it mean anything that Rhyno got the win and not Rhyno? Probably not. Rhyno gives A-Train a post match pep speech, that's a nice touch. "Someone called John Murry's mother and tell her he's never coming home."

Up Next: Who would Paul Heyman name as the #1 Contender? This guy? This guy? That guy? 

YJ Stinger WM Recall Andre is a taller Nidia of 1985. Nice work there, if they hadn't shown this clip every five weeks anyway.

Tazz has a nice watch. Josh sets up the #1 contender discussion.

Angle, Show, Cena make their cases. The knee brace works well for the one pant leg down, one pant leg up style. (5:30)

No Way Out: Kurt Angle vs US Champion Big Show vs John Cena for the WWE Title shot at No Mercy
No Way Out: Jamie Noble vs Nidia
No Way Out: Rey Mysterio Jr. (c) vs Chavo Guerrero for the WWE Cruiserweight Title
No Way Out: Brock Lesnar vs Eddie Guerrero
No Way Out: Official Theme song is "Crossing Borders" by Rey Mysterio

So I'm thinking to myself, 'John Cena in the WMXX main event? Who'd ever think such a thing possible, one year ago?' And then I remember - he did.
flashback: pre-WMXIX Heat, 03/30/03, end of John Cena's rap

Yo, it's John Cena, thuganomics, hot as hell
he's just a bad idea, like the X-F-L 
I main event WrestleMania XX
You see me, you're out of luck
You don't like what I'm saying?
Well I just don't give a fuc-

I wonder if someone will think to replay a clip

Bradshaw (297 pounds) vs Johnny Stamboli (250 pounds) - Johnny rips off his entrance gear on the way to the ring - he's a lot more pumped for this match than I am. Circle. Lockup, Johnny's backed into the corner, Bradshaw with a knee and headlock. Johnny elbows and shoots Bradshaw off, Bradshaw back with a shoulderblock. Headlock. "This is two rugged men going at it, Josh, just like you like it." Bradshaw shot off, over, blocking a hiptoss and hitting it own. Russian legsweep. Josh and Tazz let us know Bradshaw has not turned on the troops! (yet) (sorry). Forearm. Chop. Whip, clothesline misses, Johnny with a cross body is caught, Last Call. One two no. Corner whip, reversed, Johnny misses the charge, Bradshaw off the ropes, Johnny realizes this is Bradshaw's finishing sequence and freaks out before escaping the ring. Johnny showing some intelligence, and he points to his head to show us where it's located. Bradshaw out, Johnny in, Bradshaw in, Johnny elbow dropping. Stomp. Forearm, whip, clothesline misses, Bradshaw with another shoulderblock. Off the ropes, elbow drop, one two no. Bradshaw with a knee, forearms in the corner. Johnny gets Bradshaw away with an eye poke, and manages a second rope shoulderblock to take him down. Press slam? Struggling a bit, but getting Bradshaw up and dropping him on the top rope. Bradshaw up, but down via reverse neckbreaker one two no. Back suplex one two no. Bradshaw's holding his head. Bradshaw up and punching, but Johnny retaliates. Tazz: "What's that called?" "A drop toe hold!" "Very good." Landed Bradshaw right on the middle rope. Johnny takes advantage with a choke. Tazz and Josh are now talking about Josh's friend Matt (future campaign manager when Josh runs for mayor) and Tazz's friend Jeff (double J of Baltimore). Johnny with a neck vice. Bradshaw forcing his way up to his feet, and powers his way out of the hold. Maybe that was a hiptoss? It was different and looked fine. Johnny again going after the head with a sleeper. Taking him all the way down to the mat, but when Bradshaw starts rallying, he's quickly out with a back suplex. Johnny up first, charging Bradshaw in the corner, Bradshaw moves and Johnny goes into the corner. Both men are slow to standing position, but Bradshaw gets the better of it - right, chop, right, whip, back elbow. Whip, big boot. Waiting for Johnny to get up, shoulderblock. Swinging neckbreaker looks slow one two NO. Corner whip, Bradshaw charges in, Johnny moves, Johnny off the ropes, Clothesline from Italy (!?!?!) is ducked, Clothesline from Hell is not. One two three. (6:24) 

No Way Out hype, but Confidential is next. I hear Tazz is on Mr. McMahon's plane or something.