tv 14 dlv CC - TNN logo flips around to "First Network For Men" logo, hmmm - open fireworks
Billy Gunn (268 pounds, w/Torrie Wilson) vs who betta than Kanyon (240 pounds) - they haven't Torrie yet to the video. Torrie is on the cover of Iron Man mask. Cat: "I got my copy!" Josh: "How many copies did you buy?" "Only in America!" "How many copies did you buy?" "... Only in America! hahaha" Okay. Your ring announcer tonight is the Fink, but no one's acknowledging that or even showing him on camera if they can avoid it. You wouldn't think Chimel would willingly take MSG week off, so I hope everything's okay. Whatever happened, it had to be sudden or you'd figure they'd call in Jason Justin Roberts. You know, someone should start up a Adopt A Wrestler program so these poor homeless wrestlers get a city to call their own. Circle. Cat's apparently not allowed to curse today. Lockup. Gunn with an armbar, twist, into a headlock, shot, no Gunn will stay there. Try again - nah. Wow, this is exciting. No wait, the opposite of exciting. Kanyon gets to the ropes to break the hold. Why is that they never break headlocks when they bounce off the ropes? Spanky later. Cat: "I like Spanky." Josh: "Of course you like Spanky, Cat haha - all sorts of innuendos going on here." A-Train too, as we go to lockup #2. I wonder if Cat's Mom going from thinking A-Train is Billy D. Williams to Denzel Washington was to make it more current? Kanyon with the armbar. Hammerlock. headlock. Spin around to a hammerlock, well, not quite right, oh so Gunn can spin around for a drop toe hold. Kanyon to the ropes. Josh thinks Cat's Mom needs to "change her cataracts" if she thinks A-Train looks like Denzel. Cat says Cat's Mom thinks Josh looks like nerd. Hey the logo spun back around to TNN. Hey, I'm calling of non-action here. Lockup, Kanyon shot into the ropes, Gunn misses a clothesline, but hits a dropkick...to the ankle, maybe? Almost more of a trip.. Armdrag. Armdrag with Kanyon throwing himself a lot. Hiptoss. Gunn calling for it. Cat: "For Billy Gunn to be so quick, he's a very tall wrestler, man." I think he read that line backwards. Fameasser - no, Kanyon escapes before it drops and takes a break in the corner. Gunn looks to Torrie. Torrie suggests beating up Kanyon. She's smart. Gunn manages to get himself distracted by Korderas as he walks across the ring and walks right into a kick. Kanyon with right hands. Kanyon forced out of the corner by Korderas. Gunn predictably gets the punch advantage back. Whip, head down too soon, Kanyon with a Russian Legsweep, and he'll chain that into a forward Russian legsweep! Nice. One two no. Stomp. Kick. Gunn with a right, right, Kanyon with a right. Kanyon with corner punches - nah, it's a second rope faceslam. Cat wonders if Kanyon d. Gunn would be an upset. Josh tries to find a polite way (to Kanyon) in saying yes. Chinlock. Torrie pounding the mat to get Gunn back and Cat excited. Gun elbows out, right, but Kanyon pulls him down by his hair. Kanyon to the second rope - there's the flying NOTHING, going right into Gunn's boot. Gunn up, running - Cat: "What is that, kid?" Josh: "Looked like a Diamond Cutter." Cat: "Hahahaha" Anyway, Gunn slow to cover one two no. Clothesline. Clothesline. Whip, reversed, Kanyon head down too soon, Gunn leaps over him then hits a dropkick. Cat questions how Zach is getting a match if he doesn't have a contract. One two no. Kanyon misses a right hand, Gunn misses something or other, Kanyon hooks the arm and turns it into a (single underhook?) swinging neck breaker. Kanyon calling for it. Flatliner? Apparently he's long sense forget ton how to do it, because Kanyon stalls a second and Gunn easily escapes. Kick, off the ropes, Fameasser one two three. (5:24) Oh no, Gunn's going to pull down his pants. OH NO THEY SHOWED IT. He's wearing a black thong, thanks for asking. Anyway, Gunn says it's Torrie's turn - she's wearing a white thong
Your announcers are the Cat and Josh. Basham Brothers vs Chris/Rhyno later. Shaniqua is now Cat's Chocolate Thunder.
06/29 - Augusta, MA
06/30 - Utica, NY
07/01 - Rochester, NY [SD!]
07/05 - Frederick, MD
07/06 - Ocean City, MD
Zach, Vince and Stephanie of the last three weeks. This does not include the main event. Looks like the logo is going to flip around every few minutes; guess they figure the new catchphrase is over. (9:06)
Later: The Main Event
JVC Enter the Dragon of Thursday
Spanky (Olympia, WA, 195 pounds) vs John Xavier (Tree Hill, NJ, 205 pounds, already in the ring) - What is with the weights this week? Spanky sure doesn't look to have gained 10 pounds. And what's with the sound going in and out? We're dropping to radio quality at random points tonight. Circle. Lockup. John with a waistlock takedown, spun around into a front facelock, Spanky sneaks out int an armbar. John up to his feet while Spanky turns it into a wristlock. forward roll, pushing Spanky down with his foot to reverse into his own. Spanky kips up, but John shoves him back down with a trip. Wristlock, bending it all the way back. Spanky escapes but rolls into a headlock. Xavier into a side headlock. Spanky goes for a snap mare, nah, he uses it to flip behind Xavier, armdrag, armdrag, into an armbar. Spanky with an armbar. Xavier with a forearm. Whip, Spanky with a shoulderblock. We're playing "name the cruiserweight contenders" and heavily foreshadowing Kidman getting a shot against Rey before Ultimo does; Cat wonders where Matt figured in and Josh points out that he's 222 now. Spanky off the ropes, over, under, waistlock, Xavier to the ropes, Spanky rebound back but nails a dropkick. Armdrag back into the armbar. Xavier manages to walk Spanky into the corner, and there's a break. Chop by Xavier. Forearm. Corner whip, Spanky kips up, Xavier pushes him to the apron, shoulder to the midsection, slingshot in, armdrag but John has the ropes to block, reverse suplex! Rolling through into a back sit chinlock, nice. Camel clutch without hooking the arms. Spanky goes to break the chinlock, and is making some good progress, so Xavier grabs an arm - CODE RED! Spanky, deeply fearing this, spins around to get feet on the ropes before much damage can make save. Xavier with a right, right, right. Josh is trying to segue from Spanky making a "rookie mistake" to Orlando Jordan on SmackDown, and Cat messes with him by pointing out Spanky wrestling around the world. Josh: "Orlando Jordan made his debut on SmackDown! last Thursday night-" Cat: "So what, he lost!" Kick, off the ropes, running forearm to the neck. Forearm, knee to the head, knee, knee, pose on the middle rope, and off with a knee smash to Spanky's head one two no. Chinlock. Loud "Let's Go Spanky" chant. Spanky with elbow, elbow, forearm but Xavier stops him with a knee. Slam, no Spanky slips behind with a inside cradle one two no. Xavier's right is blocked, and Spanky hits a wild kick to the head. Both are down - Xavier attacking first with punches. Spanky fighting back. Josh suggests Cat got his job in the WWE by joining Vince's special club. Forearms by Spanky, whip, reversed, back with a jumping forearm. Clothesline. Running back elbow. Yell! Spanky with a whip, jumping leg lariat. Xavier rolling out, taking a break, but Spanky sure isn't - running slingshot plancha! Spanky brings Xavier back in. Spanky in, picking Xavier up, Sliced - no, pushed off, kick, reverse neck-no, Spanky pushes him off, leapfrog is caught into a powerslam one two NO. Xavier takes a look and grabs Spanky. Josh says this is a crossed-face neckbreaker, and I'll trust him. Cover? No, stomp, and he's going up. But taking too long. 450 Splash gets knees! Sliced Bread #2 will do it - one two three. (6:23) Replay of the 450 and the Sliced Bread. Nothing about Xavier's background is said.
Later: Chris Benoit & Rhyno vs the Basham Brothers (w/Shaniqua)
WM Recall: WM1
A-Train (Boston, MA, 350 pounds) vs Kevin Knight (232 pounds, already in the ring) - A-Train is still in a bad mood (but okay enough to be smiling a bit), tearing up ringside before the match. You get a shot of Fink here - he's hanging out at the timekeepers station instead of going in the ring for the announcement, and from the look of his outfit (t-shirt and jeans), I'm sure this was a last minute thing. One chair hits the apron. One chair in the ring! One more chair in the ring, although that one almost slides out. A-Train around and right in to attack. This won't take long. Completely one sided. Now to the outside for more. Crowd getting on A-Train, but he seems to mad to get any more mad about it. Watch Afterburn in July to win 4 tickets and a trip to MSG (check your local listings). Also more Josh. Josh: "[Cat], that's the only way you're getting to WrestleMania." Josh notes that Kevin's had all of two punches this match - there's the Train Wreck one two three. (2:39) A-Train looks at the desk. Josh and Cat point at each other. Josh: "[Cat], you look like the early Crocodile Hunter." Cat: "I'm gonna hunt your ass down."
Next: That main event.
I do not lie. (4:29) For some reason, there's a black screen (and we jump in a middle of Josh talking) at the top of this segment, then right as we come back from the clip. In any case
SmackDown!: Zach Gowen/Stephanie McMahon vs Big Show in a 2 on 1 handicap match. So it's happening this week, at least so far. Josh clears it up: "There had been rumors this would happen at Vengeance [sound going again] but it is confirmed, it will happen this week in Rochester."
Next: Chris Benoit/Rhyno vs the Basham Brothers
T3: Rise of Matt Hardy of Last Thursday
Chris Benoit (Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, 229 pounds) and Rhyno (Detroit, MI, 275 pounds) vs the Basham Brothers (Columbus, OH, 496 pounds, w/Shaniqua) - Benoit bops fist with Rhyno after a hesitation so short it's probably not worth noting. And yet, I guess I just did. There goes the sound again. Shaniqua is not wearing much in the way of pants. But a lot in the way of a shirt, compared to normal. Shaniqua takes her time leaving the ring after the match. Lockup. Josh seems to be trying to imply that Matt took the easy way out by leaving the Cruiserweight division - because of the weight. Cat: "I don't think Matt Hardy was ever under 220 pounds." So this will be Doug and Rhyno. Lockup. Rhyno, armbar, twist, taken down, Rhyno off the ropes and a shoulderblock. "WHO'S THE MAN?" Forearm. Armbar, tag to Benoit, who gets kick, right. Cat's waiting for them to turn on each other. Corner whip, Doug goes down. Snap mare. Snap suplex. One two no. Doug gets in a knee and makes a tag. Danny in, circle. Lockup, no Danny with a knee, forearm, forearm, forearm, stomp. Forearm. Whip, reversed, Benoit with armdrag. Benoit with a chop. Whip, back elbow. Benoit takes out to Rhyno. Cat: "Man, those chops hurt. [Benoit] hit me with a few times." Josh: "And you've never been the same since." "What's wrong with me, kid?" "Lots. I don't have time." "Name one thing. I'm 270 pounds, name one thing! I'm a Karate champion, name something else. Thank you kid" "three time world karate champion. But your hat, Cat, what's up with that? That'd the first thing wrong with you - and your shirts, your pants, your belt, your shoes, I don't like ANY of it". You've missed Rhyno hit many a kick and punch. Corner whip, Danny takes a running shoulder to the midsection. Rights for Danny, back elbow for Doug. Cat and Josh think Shaniqua's looking at the other one. Cat: "She wanna spank a kid!" Danny manages a knee. Chop. Kick. Kick. Kick. Kick. Corner whip, Rhyno rebounds out and takes a corner. one two no. Choke, tag to Doug. Doug chokes. Literally - figuratively yet. Cat says Rhyno could turn evil. Josh semi-mockingly gives Cat credit for his research. Cat says he's been in the ring before; he didn't lose Tough Enough. Doug with a corner whip, Rhyno goes in chest first. One two no. Kneeling surfboard. Doug lifts him up for a forearm. Back to the kneeling surfboard. Back to comedy hour - "Rhyno, I think he needs to make the tag to Chris Benoit, but Cat, as he's mentioned, he's the in ring veteran. He's been in the ring tons of times. How many championships did you win?" "I was the commissioner!" Benoit started a Rhyno chant during that. Rhyno up and turning it - Doug ran face first into the corner. Confidential is next. Rhyno crawling to this corner but Doug with an axhandle to the back, then drags Rhyno back into his corner, grabs a leg hold, and makes the tag to Danny. Stomp. Stomp. Elbow drop. Forearm cover one two no. One two no. Bearhug? Eh. Rhyno doesn't seem to be in any great pain - forearm by Rhyno, Danny pushes him into a knee from Doug on the apron. There's the bearhug again and now it hurts a bit. Cat points out that Show could not only end Zach's career, but also his life. He also points out "the kid only has one leg. And guess what? He's a better dancer than you, kid." One arm drop. Two arm drop. Third? No. Josh: "I get dumber and dumber every week talking to the Cat." Forearms out, forearm for Doug, Danny's kick is caught and Rhyno hits the clothesline. He needs the tag. Tag to Doug, he grabs a leg but Rhyno kicks him away - tag to Benoit! Duck Doug's punch, knockdown for Danny, dropkick to the knee on Doug, Danny with a knee, whip, quick reverse to a clothesline. Doug's punch misses and he takes a released German suplex. Kick, snap suplex for Danny onto Doug. Thumb across the throat. Going up. Swandive hits! One two Danny breaks it up. Right, Benoit stops him with a knee and runs him into the corner shoulder first. Benoit stumbles backwards out of the corner, notices something out of the corner of his eye and BARELY moves in time to escape a Gore. Doug is not so lucky. While Benoit has no problem getting the Crossface there, and Doug is done (6:57) Josh, Cat and I all wonder if Rhyno really hit who he meant to hit on that one. Rhyno, who ended up out of the ring after the Gore, is right back into help up Benoit. If Rhyno meant to hit Benoit, he's not showing it now. If Benoit thought it was odd, he isn't saying it; they're still good friends as we go away.