BEST THING EVER: The black bar is GONE. I wonder if that was supposed to be a Spike TV thing? The TNN logo is smaller and translucent now, which is almost as good.
TV 14 DLV CC Entertainment open fireworks
Shannon Moore (Raleigh, NC, 185 pounds, by himself! but he still has the book) vs Orlando Jordan (Miami, FL, 245 pounds) - Your hosts are the Cat and the Josh. They're thrilled about the DeMott/Kanyon main event. Last Week On Velocity, Crash beat Orlando thanks to Shannon, hence this match. Josh says Orlando's not happy, and we switch to shot of Orlando smiling. Anyway, as Shannon gives us V1, Josh wonders how life in the Cult of Mattitude is going. Josh says Crash will wrestle Rikishi later in a match I certainty won't bother to recap, but doesn't say explicitly that's why he's not here; it sounds less like "we're building to a split" and more "we haven't wrote the next part yet". Lockup. Shannon with a waistlock, Orlando down into a drop toe hold, to a front facelock. Shannon goes behind to a hammerlock. Orlando rolls it, into a hammerlock. Shannon tries to shoot hi in the ropes, but Orlando holds on. Elbows, and this time Shannon can shoot him off, but Orlando knocks him down with a shoulderblock. Orlando off the ropes, over, kick by Shannon is caught, Orlando spins him and clothesline him. There's the Amateur Boxing punches. Whip, Shannon with a waistlock, Josh and Cat with a weird digression, Orlando with a standing switch, more punches to the midsection. Corner whip, charge into a back elbow. Shannon with a drop toe hold to take him into the middle buckle. Kicks to the back. Shannon charges - running sit on the back! Shannon covers one two no. Josh just ran through his weekly Orlando Jordan spiel. Whip, back elbow, one two no. Shannon with a fierce grab on to a chinlock - it looked so mean you forget it was a chinlock for a second. Then you remembered and didn't care. Orlando rallying back. Elbow, elbow, Corner whip, Moore kips up and out, wheel kick to the back, knocking Jordan into the middle buckle. He's going to do this again - running sit to the back misses, Orlando moving out of the way in time and Shannon crotching himself. Both men down, but Shannon is actually the first one up. Forearms vs punches. Punches win. Jordan does a dancing a punch, never a good sign. Whip, back elbow. whip, powerslam, one two no. Corner whip, Jordan charges into a double boot. Shannon to the second rope - there's the Moorgasm! One two NO! Josh forget to call it which means it's possibly not it anymore. There's a tantrum. Josh points out that Cat was never US Champion in WCW. Shannon to the top rope - ah, it's the flying nothing. Orlando's move from a Rock Bottom setup is apparently a "inverted neckbreaker", one two three (4:32) So Orlando got his revenge.
Still to Come: the WWE Title Match
Up Next: Vince vs Zach in arm wrestling
June 15 - Lubbock, TX
June 16 - Corpus Christi, TX [TV]
June 17 - San Antonio, TX
June 21 - Washington, DC
June 22 - Hershey, PA
I was going to make fun of them for running against their own (RAW) PPV, but then I checked and realized that Lubbock is 10 hours (driving) away from Houston. Score one for Mapquest.
Arm Wrestling! (10:53)
Next: Rikishi vs Crash.
Castrol GTX Cruiserweight Title Change of Two Weeks Ago
Rikishi (350 pounds) vs
Crsah Crash (Salisbury, NC, 214
pounds, w/about 12 copies of the WWE Magazine) - Crash lays down the
magazines around the apron of the ring. One for each corner. One to hold up.
Rikishi is confused, but does not disrupt the magazines. Crash decides to start
the match with a slam, and that's the end of that. Rikishi slams Crash, so Crash
crawls into the corner to check out the magazine. Ah, he's inspired and co go
back in the fight now. Rikishi grabs a magazine himself. He's going to read it -
no, he's wiping his butt with it. Crash is offended enough to run into a
hiptoss. Crash with punches - and he's shoved down. Okay now I'll stop paying
attention. There's the sunset flip sitdown that never hits. Rump Shaker. (2:47)
Oh there's the hat. Cat wonders where the hat comes from. Glasses too.
Still to Come: the WWE Title Match
Spanky (Olympia, WA, 181 pounds) vs Chad Collyer (218 pounds, already in the ring) - Cat: "I'd blow up before I even get to ring if I came to the ring that fast." Chad is apparently still stalking Dean Malenko. Josh: "Speaking of Spanky, how about Shaniqua!" Lockup - well the double wristlock come. Cat: "I thing the Basham's have what you call Jungle Fever" Into the ropes, break. Spanky with an armbar. Taking him down. Back up. Chad rolls out, then gets in a kick tot he midsection one two no. Double wristlock lockup, Chad with a double leg, leg lock, leg grapevine, sitting on his back for a bow 'n arrow. Floating over to a side headlock. Josh says Chad was a two time NCAA Championship Qualifier at 158 pounds from Manchester College in Indiana. Hey, besides the niceness of giving a background about a non-WWE guy here, you know, Josh has never been that specific about Orlando Jordan's credentials. Maybe he's an amateur boxer in the "he can't do many wrestling moves well, so we'll have him punch a lot" sense. Chad shot into the ropes, back with a shoulderblock. Off the ropes, over, under, grabs Spanky in the monkey flip, rolling him to his feet, whip, right hand misses, Spanky slides under and hits the armdrag. Back to an armbar. Josh says Chad's competed in Japan, and he wanted to compete in Mexico, but his Spanish was so bad, he couldn't get pass the AAA (yes, they said "triple A") secretary. Someone hook him up with the CMLL hotline! Spanky into an armbar, whip, hiptoss, blocked and reveres into a Russian legsweep! One two NO. Double underhook suplex one two no. Spanky with rights, forearm, Chad off the ropes and hitting a kick. Headbutt. Stomp. Josh: "I hate talking to you. I hate it." Suplex by Chad. Spanky grabs the rope sand kicks him away. Elbow, right, right, forearm, Chad with a knee top stop that. Right. Whip, clothesline. One two no. Chinlock. Kneeling surfboard. Spanky rallying back. Crowd not particular with him. Spanky turning it, and kicked. Suplex no Spanky land behind, ducks the clothesline and hits a dropkick - Chad ends up flying out of the ring at this one. Chad may have not gotten to Mexico, but he's about to get the experience - Spanky suicide tope! Spanky throws him back in. Chad up, but Spanky blocks the right hand, shoulder to the midsection. Spanky to the top - top rope knee (or more shin) drop to the back of the head, that's odd. There's the side salto kick, climbing enziguri is ducked under. Camel clutch - no, Chad rolls forward for a pinning combination (Josh: "the Courtesy Flush!") one two NO. Double underhook again - blocked. Spanky spins free, grabs the neck vice, Sliced Bread #2 but Chad gets the rope and Spanky end on his feet behind. Spanky with a waistlock, switch, German Suplex but Spanky lands on his feet behind. Spanky off the ropes, kinda of a crossed leg 'rana (Josh: "Mo Mo Latch!" (I think)) one two three (6:23) That was pretty good. Josh says Spanky learned this from a women's wrestler in Japan, and I wish we had time for that story but I guess next week.
Next: the WWE Title Match
JVC Title Challenge of Two Weeks Ago
Cat: "You got Brock Lesnar, that's what, 300 pounds, you got the Big Show, that's 500 pounds, baby, that's 1200 pounds right there!"
And here are highlights. (5:41)
Who Betta Than Kanyon (Queens, NY, 242 pounds) vs Bill DeMott (280 pounds) - wow, you can still see him breaking the champagne bottle over Bigelow's head in his entrance video. Kanyon has nothing to say? Well, I bet Bill has something to say here. "Wait wait wait, I got one for you. Knock Knock [who's there] Don'tcha [Don'tcha Who] Don'tcha know, I'm better than Kanyon!" Kanyon reacts unfavorably to this and we're off. Rights and rights and then some rights. Kanyon backs up, and mixes it up with a punch. "You better now?" Turnbuckle smash, pauses, and Bill recover enough to put Kanyon in the corner, right, right, open hand slap. Open hand slap. Forearm. Announcers wonder what the no finish to the main event means to Angle's challenge of the winner - they suggest a rematch next week or a three way (Josh gets the wrong idea) so you know neither of those things will happen. Corner whip, DeMott laughs, charges, and posts himself. Kanyon with a PUNCH! Kanyon gets revenge on my mocking by pulling out a reverse leg DDT off the second rope. He's rather proud of himself. And now he'll try and pin one two no. Knee to the back knee to the back knee to the back. Snap mare. Cover one two no. Knee to the back. Kneeling surfboard. Bill rallying back. Kanyon pulls him down by the hair, one two no. Suplex - blocked. DeMott hits one of his own. DeMott going up - thinking about it, maybe? Top rope elbow but no one's home and we're reminded why he has that knee brace one two no. Knee to the back, back to the kneeling surfboard from Kanyon. Bill rallying back. Kurt Angle will wrestle Thursday. Kanyon catches DeMott in a sleeper, but DeMott reverses into a back suplex. Both slow up - Kanyon charge into the corner but no one's home. Flapjack. Corner whip, DeMott charges and squashes him. Whip, powerslam but he's too hurt to cover - Cat kinda points out how ridiculous that was, because Bill had to fall off of Kanyon to not cover. Kanyon in the corner, DeMott charges into a back elbow. Kanyon out, DeMott tries a hiptoss, but it's blocked and Kanyon hits a swinging neckbreaker. Kanyon yells at DeMott to get up - he's about to finish it. Flatliner but DeMott elbows out - No Joke. One two three. (4:57) Sucks to be Kanyon.
Angle on SmackDown! That's it.