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Crash (Salisbury, NC, 214 pounds, w/Shannon Moore and the Book, blue, 7) vs Brian "Spanky" Kendrick (Olympia, WA, 181 pounds, 2) - Your hosts are Cat and Josh and they are pumped for the bikini match. Ah, someone doesn't want to commit to this name. You know what the best part of this match is? If the ring announcements were to be believed, Crash has a 33 pound weight advantage on Spanky. Circle. Lockup, Crash with a headlock, shot into the ropes, back with a shoulderblock. VERSION ONE. Off the ropes, under the hiptoss is blocked, hiptoss is blocked, Spanky with an abdominal stretch but Crash immediately hiptossed out. Spanky tries to kick it away, Crash grabs the legs and rolls him to his feet for a kick. Forearm. Double wristlock, kick to the ribs. Josh is surprised that Cat knew Andre was in the last stretcher match (vs Killer Khan, no relation.) Crash has forced Brian down to a pinning predicament via double wristlock. One left shoulder up, one right shoulder up, Crash puts all his weight on Spanky, but Spanky uses it to monkey flip to his feet, and all the way to a springboard backflip armdrag and I know who's been watching the lucha. As Cat regales us with his stories about partying with Mr. America and James Brown last night, Crash and Shannon are having another meeting of the Exist to Inspire Book Club. Spanky, hurt by his non-invitation, breaks it up with a sliding dropkick to...the Book. Probably demoralized but not beaten, Crash gets the best of Spanky with a forearm. Spanky thrown back in, one two no. In Cat's view, Mr. America can dance and Hulk Hogan can not. Corner whip, down goes Shannon. Crash with an angry walk as Shannon urges a cover. Hey, a cover. One tow no. Suplex one two no. Crash isn't sure, but it's still two. Stomp. Stomp, arguing with the ref about letting him off the ropes. Crash grabs Brian and pulls him in the middle of the ring, double leg press cover one two Spanky breaks it by smashing Crash's head with his legs. Cat and Josh with painfully prepared lines as Crash gets back control with an eye rake. Corner boot choke. Spanky tires to come back with back elbows but gets thrown down by the hair. Snap mare (Josh: "That's a European term, Cat [segue into UK Tour talk]" - what the) into a kneeling surfboard. Chavo's hurt but again, no one mentions a replacement. Is Cat the first one to wish for a fast recovery? I think they've just forgot. Josh says the title match will go on "as planned", so Chavo will be wrestling one-armed, I guess. Spanky getting up, turning it, and Crash is pushed into the corner. Spanky with a forearm, forearm, Crash with a knee. Crash with a corner whip to the same corner, but Spanky foot stops in the corner and hits a forearm. Kick to the ribs. (Cat: "Oh, what a great forearm by Spanky.") Forearm. Whip, reversed, Spanky slides under and hits a dropkick. Backdrop. Jumping side kick. Shining Wizard is ducked, Crash with a pumphandle sit cover one two no. That was odd. Crash with a right, corner whip, Spanky runs up the corner and comes down with a moonsault bodyblock one two no. Forearm, whip, quick reverses to a back elbow. Crash calls for a book, and Shannon knows the drill - slide the book in while distracting the referee. Crash is too clumsy and he knocks it to where Spanky can grab it. Tug-o-War - Spanky lets go, Crash goes backwards and hits Shannon with the book. Kick, climb, Sliced Bread #2 one two three. (4:56) Shannon notes that wasn't in the book.
Still to come: Rey returns to SmackDown
Next: Vince issues a challenge on Mr. America's behalf.
5/18 - Charlene, NC [PPV]
5/19 - Johnson City, TN
5/20 - Greensboro, NC [SD!]
5/25 - Ft. Myers, FL
5/26 - Dothan, AL
Hey, it's Trish doing something in arcade while saying things that could possibly have double meanings. Repeat about 2 times per show. It's better than what ever 1-800-whatever commercial we'd get here.
1-800-CALL-ATT and ask them if they care about Mr. America saving Stephanie
Vince and Mr. America. You knew it was going to be Piper getting the match (to begin with, AND) when Shelton Benjamin didn't offer to take out Mr. America like every other heel on the show had to that point. (9:22)
Still to Come - Bikini preview
Next - A-Train vs Kanyon
Kurt Angle: A Champion's Champion. I don't think he's really won 1000 matches...well, maybe if you count amateur ones? That's not quite clear. I don't want to do that math. (1:07)
A-Train (Boston, MA, 350 pounds) vs who betta than Kanyon (Queens, NY, 242 pounds) - Having beat DeMott last week, A-Train takes his discarded gimmick of staring at the announcers for no particular reason. Is Kanyon a face this time? Crowd not sure what to make of him, but perhaps he'll clear this up: "Back him up - back him up. Who betta the Kanyon? [everybody]" and A-Train punches him. Whip, running shoulderblock. "I'm betta! I'm betta!" Slam. Off the ropes, elbow drop but no one's home. Right by Kanyon, right, corner whip, reversed, A-Train charges in with a corner splash. Turnbuckle smash. Right. Right. Right. Kicks in the corner. A-Train stopping to be annoyed by the "Shave the Cat" chants, according to Josh. Short clothesline. Second rope pump splash one two foot on the ropes. A-Train kicks the foot for being on the ropes. Forearms to the back. Kanyon pushed in the ropes face first so he can get a forearm to the back. Oh yea, a bearhug. Kanyon, bored with this already, punches his way out. But he gets shoved in the rope sand a headbutt the gut. There's the bearhug again. This is long. 30 seconds already. Kanyon's fading. One arm drop, two arm drop, three-no. Kanyon battles out after being in the hold for 64 seconds. Right. Off the ropes, cross body is caught and dropped for a powerslam. Another pump splash? Kanyon gets the boot up. Kanyon slow up, but A-Train runs into a drop toe hold into the middle buckle. Three turnbuckle smashes into the middle buckle, three into the top. Crowd not really getting into Kanyon, but I still think they don't know what to do with him. Whip, reversed, Kanyon back with a clothesline. Clothesline. Punches into the corner by Kanyon. Corner whip, reversed, A-Train charges in but No one's home. Kanyon to the second rope - back elbow one two no. Right. Right. off the ropes and into the double choke. Kanyon breaks it though, and turns into a swinging neckbreaker one two no. Kanyon to the second rope again, waiting for A-Train, taking so long you know this will be ugly - double axhandle jump right into the double choke. Derailer one two three. (5:12) The Kanyon losing streak goes on.
Still to come, Rey Mysterio
Up Next, Bikini hype
Bikini Tale of the Tape.
Sable and Torrie on SmackDown! (3:09)
Bikini Tale of the Tape. Again!
Later: Rhyno vs Bill DeMott
Next: Big Show, Rey and Brock
Stacker 2 Backlash clips
Rey, Show, Brock on SmackDown (3:51)
Next: Rhyno vs Bill DeMott
Rhyno (Detroit, MI, 275 pounds) vs Bill DeMott (280 pounds) - Rhyno's knee is the definition of "heavily taped." Josh and Cat drill into our heads that these are two big guys. Crowd chants loud for Rhyno pre-match. Lockup, Bill wins, Bill's punch is ducked. Test of strength. Bill takes Rhyno down to one knee, but Rhyno comes back and turns it around. Bill ends this with a kick to the gut, forearm, right, right. Rhyno back with a chop, Bill back with an open slap. Forcing him over and kicking him down. "NOW WHO'S THE MAN BEAST?" Kicks in the corner. Corner whip, reversed. Rhyno charges in and hits a shoulder to the midsection. "WHO'S THE MAN?" Forearm. Whip, reversed into a short clothesline. "WHO'S THE MAN?" One two no. "THREE!" No. Rhyno battling back with punches, but DeMott with a kick, spinning neckbreaker one two no. Chinlock. Rhyno battling out with back elbows but he's thrown down by the hair. DeMott yells. One two no. Chinlock. "SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" Rhyno rallies, but DeMott chokes him down. 30 seconds. DeMott's yelling for him to give up. One arm. Two arm. Three-no. That was a about a 66 rest there. Back elbows out, right, whip, DeMott misses a clothesline but Rhyno does not miss his. Back elbow one two no. Whip, reveresed, head down too soon< Rhyno kicks it. DeMott ducks the clothesline but runs right into the spinebuster on the next trip. Rhyno sets up for it - there's the Gore. One two three. (4:42)