they're never taking out Angle and Rock from ad

TV 14 DLV entertainment CC open fireworks I need to make a macro to type that one week away from Judgment Day, that explains the tornados.

Crash (Salisbury, NC, 214 pounds, w/Shannon Moore and the Good Book, green, 6) vs Chavo Guerrero (El Paso, TX, 213 pounds, w/Gold Medal, 10) - Okay, you know Matt's entrance? Crash has a similar log-in screen - actually a Netscape Navigator "search for" page in black and white, no password box. He types "Crsah", then notices and fixes to "Crash". We go to Connecting...10%...30%...beep beep system failure beep beep hit his music. That is the new greatest entrance of all time. Your announcers are Josh and Cat. Here's how Chavo lost the medal and got it back. It's like he never lost it at all. Josh says this is set up from the Matt/Eddie match earlier today - Crash and Shannon both wanted this match, but Crash won the lawnmower race. No footage show, but given that's a double meaning that flew right over my head, that's probably a good thing. Ah, there it is - Josh: "Crash and Shannon race lawn mowers - they're always trimming each other's bushes." Circle. Lockup, Chavo with an armdrag. Chavo with a muscle pose. Josh speculates that Eddie is backstage, guarding the Kurt Angle portrait. Circle again. Lockup, armdrag. Hiptoss, scaring Shannon away with a kick. Circling again. Lockup, Chavo with a waistlock, Crash with a switch, Chavo with an armbar out, into a full nelson, turning him around into a snap mare, seated armbar. Back up to heir feet, twist, headlock, shot off, off the ropes, shoulderblock by Chavo. Chavo off the ropes, Crash drops down, Chavo with the quick stop elbow drop. Back suplex. One two no. Crash trying to punch Chavo away but Chavo gets the better of it. There's the European Uppercut. Whip, reversed, Chavo spots Shannon on the apron and slides under on his way out - apron chindrop for Shannon. Crash still takes advantage, knocking Chavo from the apron to the barricade. Crash distracts while Shannon runs Chavo into the apron. One two no. Stomp. Josh is once again explaining the "Mooreon and Mattitude Follower" concept to Cat. Cat: "And what are you? A jackass." Forearm to the back of the neck. Stomp. Knee to the back. Snap mare. Chinlock surfboard, all the rage. Chavo elbowing up and out - off the ropes, but Crash has been waiting for him, tilt-a-whirl back breaker one no. Chavo crawling to the ropes, but Crash out after him - choke on the bottom rope. Crash breaks at four. Chavo battling up with punches, but Crash hits a forearm to the back. Back suplex one two no. One no. Deep double leg hook cover one two no. Shannon is warned to mind his business and not argue balls and strikes. Side backbreaker, holding it over the knee to stretch Chavo out some more. Crash is really dedicated to working the back for a guy who's finisher is more a face thing. Chavo slowly starting to battle out of the pendulum backbreaker hold - knees to the head do the trick. Crash up first with an axhandle. Version one suplex! Walking over Chavo on his way to going up - there's the flying chindrop with boot catch (what would he ever do if they didn't put up their boot?), rolling Chavo up to his feet, kick to the midsection, corner whip. Crash walks into the corner and still gets booted. Boot, forearm, forearm, right, right, European uppercut. Shannon swipes at Chavo's leg, Chavo swipes at Shannon with his leg, and Crash gets in another forearm. Corner whip, reversed, Chavo with a dropkick. Crash walks right into a backdrop. Cat partied with Mr. America last week. He has a joke coming but Josh refuses to feed him the straight line. Clothesline by Chavo. Whip, reversed, Chavo holds onto the arm and slides under for the pumphandle suplex. A bit slow to cover one two NO. Shannon thinks Crash has got him - Crash with an eye poke. Shannon slides in the Book and jumps on the apron to distract the referee - Crash gets the Book, but Mike Choida catches it and takes it away - Chavo runs Crash into Shannon, Shannon goes to the floor, Chavo kicks Crash, Gory Bomb one two three. (6:35) Wow, the ladder changes for the first time in forever. Chavo awards himself a gold medal for his performance.

Next: Mr. America. Or not? Nah.

Up Next: Who's next on the stretcher.

SmackDown Live
5/11 - Sheffield, Great Brittan
5/12 - Baltimore, MD
5/18 - Charlotte, NC
5/19 - Johnson City, TN
5/20 - Greensboro, NC

Trish hosts Slammin Saturday Night next week. Feel sorry for her.

Stacker 2 Rey Gets The Pole Position

Rey is not cleared to wrestle, but he's agreed to show up at SmackDown this week to get beaten up by Big Show again. Awful nice of him.

This past week, three midcarders get the best of Brock. Perhaps they took notes from 3MW's strategy? How many consecutive months will the title challengers road to Brock lead through a semi-clean win on Benoit? (4:44)

Judgment Day: Big Show vs Brock Lesnar for the WWE Title. Josh explains the "must be carried out on a stretcher" rule.

Still to come: Torrie and Sable had a confrontation.

FBI (w/Nunzio, 534 pounds) vs Mark Bartolucci and Mike Hughes (443 pounds, already in the ring) - As an early birthday gift to myself, I take this match off. I try to treat myself well, you see. We do the "WWE Tag Team is in so much control, the other team only gets in because we let it happen." Oklahoma roll! And there's a clothesline to end Mark's offense for today. Notice the matching FBI tights. Mike actually gets a hot tag! He's Hughes because he's (indy) huge, you see. Mark actually gets in a double clothesline. The jobbers hold the ring four minutes in! Nunzio rallies the ropes and they run over the jobbers, that'll end that. Hey, Chuck just used Jamal's move that I forget about. Speaking of, there's the ForgetAboutIt. Josh: "Cat, we haven't seen a stretcher match in over seventeen years!" Yea, perhaps there's a reason for that. Double pump powerbomb will do it (4:46) We push that Nunzio is the brains behind this operation. Are they done? Oh, they're offended by Mark not being done - they help Mike up to sucker him in, and there's the Jungle Kick. Josh says "Whacked" so maybe it's his name and Cole disagrees. Kiss of Death, check. "Cat, there's the Kiss of Death!" "What did he kiss?"

Up next, Sable and Torrie.

No lie! Oh wow, the whole Dawn/Torrie match. I can ignore it for a second time, how precious. What is Sable's point, anyway? I mean, that's kinda the storyline and all, but what does she achieve? We all know she can't be the #1 female on SmackDown - that's Stephanie's job, har har har. Actually I'm too obsessed with gold and perhaps Sable just want to be acknowledged as the hotter person. (3:37) Bikini Match at Judgment Day. Los Guerreros vs Team Angle in a ladder match for the WWE Tags - Los Guerreros have the medals around their waist in this shot. World Title: Triple H vs Nash. IC Battle Royale. WWE Title - Brock vs Big Show in a stretcher match.

Josh and Cat set up

Vince and Mr. America, week 2. You know, if the GM angles were remembered, Stephanie could be bitter about Hogan being gone and Rock being gone and not getting Steiner and NEEDING this dealio, but hey what kiss anyway. (9:07) Nothing in particular hyped here - you think they need a PPV match after all this hype, but I can't imagine what horridness that would have to be.

Matrix Tug O' Chain of Thursday. 

Sean O'Haire (Hilton Head, SC, 275 pounds) vs Funaki (208 pounds, Japan, already in the ring) - Roddy Piper doesn't appear on this show (and that's okay with me.) Sean's music has lyrics! We only hear "C'mon! C'mon! C'mon! C'mon!" though. Josh goofing on Akido gets Cat annoyed - don't dare disrespect the martial arts while he's around! (Leave that stuff to the wrestling.) Lockup, no Funaki ducks under, right right these aren't really having an effect and he's backing way - ducking a right, hitting on of his own but it's no sold, O'Haire throws him in the corner and punches him. Corner whip, down goes Funaki. Cat: "What's up with all these white rappers?" O'Haire misses the clothesline, missing the jumping high spin kick, and Funaki hits the dropkick. Dropkick to the knee, and Sean's down to his knees. Foot catch enziguri one two big kickout. O'Haire with a knee, Funaki runs right into a kick to the chest. O'Haire standing over him and yelling. Funaki uses O'Haire as a climbing post - Sean snap mare one two no. Soccer kick to the back. Neck vice, but Funaki won't give. Another soccer kick tot he back. Step over neck vice, sure. O'Haire really twists it. Funaki again turning and getting to his feet - rights, off the ropes, and right into a back elbow. Running soccer kick to Funaki's chest! OW! Funaki rolls out while we watch a replay. Actually, I don't know why I call them "soccer" kicks - he's using the laces, not the inside of the foot. O'Haire bored with waiting for Funaki to come back in and brings him in himself. Pulling Sean up by the hair. Scoop - running shoulder slam is reversed into a Slop Drop by Funaki! O'Haire is hurting - but away enough to get in a knee. Corner whip, charge but Funaki moves out of the way, inside cradle one two no. Funaki off the ropes, ducks the clothesline, jumping spinning DDT one two no. Funaki couldn't hook the leg, it was too big. Funaki going up - cross body is caught, lifted up into a fireman's carry, reverse DVD is now the Prophecy according to Josh one two three. (4:01)

Confidential is next. Watch WWE make clear the distinction between Miss Elizabeth and any problems she might have had.