In case it was bugging you: I guess they just weren't using Crash - he's showing up in OVW now.
Hey, if this Rock guy isn't on SmackDown! anymore (and Kurt's been bald for so long), shouldn't they change this Velocity Is Next bumper?
TV 14 DLV CC entertainment open (new Rock here)
Thug Life Billy Kidman (Allentown, PA, 215 pounds) vs Bill DeMott (280 pounds) - Your announcers are Cat (with a mesh shirt?) and Josh (dressed better.) Ah, the road from Cruiserweight Champion to DeMott job boy is a short one. Remember when these two feuded for five seconds in WCW? There was that Cruiserweight Battle Royal and all? Yea, that has nothing to do with this. Cat stands up and claps for Bill, because we're doing this weird thing where Bill wants to kill Josh for some reason. I'm still hoping that's a swerve. Circle, Kidman ducks the lockup, headlock, but Bill powers into control and pushes Kidman into the corner. Clean break, but only because the ref blocks DeMott's path and Kidman rolls to safety. Bill charges after him, and eats boot. Kidman gets that headlock back, with a jumping headlock takedown to get this to the mat. They work their way back up, Kidman shot into the ropes and of course DeMott gets the better of the shoulderblock. Chinlock on the mat as DeMott works on angry. Now DeMott rolling over on his back to create more pressure (legal) and sliding his arm down into a chokehold (not so legal) - break is asked for by the ref and actually given. Bearhug, but Kidman slides over for a sunset flip - eh, DeMott's not going for that, knee drop stops it. Kicks to the midsection. Right hand in the corner. Kidman ducks a second and starts using forearms to the back of DeMott's neck. Generic enziguri one two no. Dropkick, dropkick (DeMott trying to get up on the ropes for both, so he kinda just gets knocked into them instead of taking the typical dropkick sell), I've Gotten Bored With Calling The Springboard Bulldog 'Acid Drop' is pushed off, Kidman turns around and runs into a powerslam. EXCITING BEARHUG. HE'S WORKING THE BACK. You know, as much as there are good things to be said about matches with actual stories, if they're all the same and they don't really fit the characters, they're kinda dumb stories. Bill DeMott is supposed to be a borderline psychotic bully who enjoys inflicting pain on people (particularly those who are smaller than him.) Now, if the best way Bill DeMott can figure out to maim someone is to HUG THEM VERY TIGHTLY, well then we learn that Bill is also kinda dumb, and he's not really that interesting. Even Bill's game plan seems a bit off to me - if that powerbomb is so very destructive, why does he really need to work the back for 4 minutes? It's like punching a guy in a chest a few times so that when you shoot him, why, you're sure it'll hurt! Can you tell I'm editing this later and digressing because I'm bored with fixing all the "ot" and "fo"'s already? Sorry! Back to the bearhug. Actually, first let me tell you that Cat thinks Jones and Undertaker might have some history from Australia. Josh just moves on, though Cat's explantation will probably be no worse than the one they give you later. Still in the bearhug. Kidman breaks free! when Bill lets him free to give him a corner shoulder. Kidman punches his way out of the corner, his punches shockingly (and a bit less than realistically) working better than Bill's. Bill stands around so Kidman can hit a second rope missile dropkick, how nice of him. One two no and there's the DeMott clothesline to end this run. Powerbomb? HE CAN POWERBOMB KIDMAN one two three (4:22) Well you have to like a man who can do the impossible - but he did this that other time too, so perhaps he knows the secret. The power of the belt gone, Kidman gets squashed. Bill with the look at Josh. Please kill Cat, Bill. PLEASE. Josh, perhaps realizing this has Hardcore Holly/Rico/Marc Lloyd written all over it, underplays the angle as Bill leaves.
Tonight: the finish to No Way Out. For free! Announcers have been making a "this NEVER happens" deal all week long, so good for them.
Tuesday - Bridgeport, CT
Next Saturday - Birmingham, AL
Next Sunday - Youngstown, OH
Brian Kendrick on SmackDown highlights (7:08) Here's the graphic - Kurt Angle vs Brock Lesnar for the WWE Championship
Tonight: the finish to No Way Out.
Lugz FBI/Guerreros/Rikishi don't get along of Thursday
Johnny Stamboli (Brooklyn, 250 pounds) vs Chavo Guerrero (El Paso, TX, 213 pounds) - Josh: "Cat, I heard you tried to get in the FBI but they wouldn't let you." Cat: "Why would I want to be in the FBI?" "Protection" Somehow we get to a discussion about Josh's car (El Camino). Johnny attacks Chavo before the bell and gets punched many times for it. Whip, no Johnny will pull himself out to regroup. That done, Johnny's back in and charges into a drop toe hold. Perhaps he needs to regroup better. Back suplex - wait, Johnny doesn't have the timing right, okay we'll try after a very obvious pause and THERE it is. Stomping. Josh is talking about Brian Kendrick but doesn't mention the mask so I guess I should give up on that. NEVER! Anyway, Chavo with a choke, turnbuckle smash and there's the corner dropkick. Always seems like more trouble than it's worth. Johnny trying to kick and punch his way back into this, but Chavo stops him with his own Whip, reversed, clothesline misses, Johnny with a big flapjack, pushing Chavo on the way down. Clothesline. Elbow drop. Elbow drop. One two NO. Choke on the middle rope. Choke on the top rope! Lots of variety here. Chavo gets a rest when a break is forced. Cat is eager to see a Josh/Shannon Moore vs Benoit/Rhyno match. Cat's been booking Josh in matches for most of the night, come to think of it. Johnny suplexes Chavo off the apron, keeps him up for a while, and drops him with a (on to the) top rope gutbuster. Feet on the middle rope cover one two Choida catches it. Forearms to the upper back. Corner whip, reversed, Chavo charges into a double boot. Corner cover with feet on the ropes one Choida catches it because Johnny's not sneaky at all this time. Snap mare, chinlock. Taking it all the way down to the mat. Chavo up and elbowing out. Off the ropes, into a knee. (Almost looked like Chavo was going to avoid the knee lift and turn it into a inside cradle but missed.) Johnny covers one two no. Corner whip, Chavo goes in chest first. Cat reacts lamely to another Josh set up. Josh: "Intellectual intercourse right here between myself and the Cat!" "Intercourse? You watch your mouth-" Johnny covering one two no. Back to the chinlock. Back to the feet on the ropes. He's a little better this time and doesn't get caught on the first shot. Cat says the FBI is checking into him right now, but we clarify that it's the other FBI, okay. Johnny never ended being caught this time with the ropes bit, odd. They did it out order. Chavo elbows out and hits the European Uppercut. Chavo gets the best of punches. Johnny nearly breaks his neck on a back suplex - I'm not sure who's fault that was; may just be that the slightly different way the Guerreros tend to do that move wasn't something Johnny was expecting. They're not totally on the same page this match. Johnny charges into a drop toe hold, landing on the middle rope. Slingshot knee drop to the head by Chavo, taking him to the floor in the progress. Chavo comes back in for another European Uppercut. Whip, backdrop. Clothesline. Off the ropes, dropkick to the side of the head one two NO. Off the ropes, Johnny takes Chavo down with a tilt-a-whirl slam that doesn't look quite right (Chavo's feet hit first?), cover for one kickout. Josh notes that it was a one count. Johnny with a knee lift, but Chavo gets that inside cradle this time and pulls the tights VERY MUCH TOO FAR (ewww, butt crack) one two three. (6:36) That did feel on the long side, 'specially for two guys who were so obviously not used to wrestling each other. Please no replay of the tights pulled. Johnny, annoyed at that finish, kicks Chavo in the gut - press slam into a shoulder powerslam (Josh: "ForgetAboutIt!" ahaha he rules) to lay him out. Yay no replay.
Up next, Brock vs Team Angle highlights.
Yep (6:05). Here's the graphic. So how's this going to turn bad for Brock? Someone coming through the ring.
Up next, a third video package! Hogan/Rock highlights.
Cat's mic cord is annoying him. I bet the feeling is mutual!
Hogan/Rock highlights - a little bit less than SmackDown! (6:09) Hogan on SmackDown next week, oh no. Cat's so excited, he cuts off Josh in mid-hype. Undertaker vs A-Train too. Cat is too late on his lines this time to balance it out (I guess.)
Greyhound Matt slips on a wet spot in the ring and Rhyno obviously got very lucky of Thursday
Cat reads his line badly.
Rhyno is no longer dead, but Edge is. Take a look at the footage. (:21)
Rey Mysterio (San Diego, CA, 175 pounds, 3) vs Shannon Moore (Raleigh, NC, 195 pounds, 11) - Shannon gone to using his own (new) music. It's evil heel music, but I don't know if it works for Shannon. Play it for six months and I'll be singing along to it anyway, I suppose - I'm doing that with Rey's and I didn't like it. Josh says (in an assumption) that the Edge/Benoit vs Team Mattitude match had been previously booked and Rhyno was Edge's replacement, which works for me. They're starting this one awful late - we're about 2 minutes from the top of the hour as the bell rings. They'll run over, I know, but it's still odd - running short on Confidential or maybe just more clips they wanted to fit in. Lockup, no Shannon ducks under and gets a waistlock. Rey with a standing switch, Shannon with a back elbow, right, right, whip, Rey slides under, Shannon tries to slam him on the next pass but Rey lands behind, waistlock, Shannon's back elbows miss, Shannon goes for the legs, but Rey flips him out, back bridge cover one two NO. Cat: "What a great dance." SHUT UP CAT. He just got paid to bash the style of wrestling they're promoting, what a great business move. Rey with a corner whip, reversed, Rey stops in the corner, Shannon charges in and hits a back elbow. Rey to the second rope but Shannon catches him with a forearm. Loading up Rey on his shoulder - not a wise idea, Rey turns around and Shannon pushes him off - kick to the midsection. Shannon setting up for something - powerbomb, no Rey headscissors him out to the floor. Rey sets up on the apron as Shannon stand back up on the floor - apron dive gets dropkicked! Shannon is pleased. Rey thrown back in one two NO. Corner whip, Rey goes in hard chest first. Back suplex. Chinlock by Shannon. Confidential is next. Rey battling up. Elbows out, off the ropes, caught for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker one two NO. Shannon isn't happy with the count. Snap suplex one two NO. One two NO. Shannon argues the speed of the count with Brian Hebner. Surfboard. Discussion about Paul in the cage this Thursday: Cat: "It's too late to take any karate classes from me!" "Yea, we saw the help it did for Eric Bischoff!" Cat says Eric missed out on the last class (couldn't pay the bill?), which is why he lost. Rey standing up out of it, turning it, kick to the midsection, right, but a Shannon knee stops the comeback. Whip, Tilt-a-whirl but Rey lands on his feet - wheel kick hits! Josh gives a plug for Cat's karate school when Cat suggest he goes there for classes in preparation for Bill. Both slow up - Shannon misses a clothesline, Rey hits a kick, corner whip, Rey charges in, Shannon backdrops him, Rey lands on the apron, shoulder for Shannon, springboard Thesz press! Rey takes his time following up, working in a quick look to the crowd - whip, reversed, Rey with the bodyscissors bulldog one two NO. Rey goes for a monkey flip but he's pushed off. - charges into a double boot. Shannon to the second rope - the blockbuster is apparently now the Halo one two foot on the ropes! I guess if no one kicked out of it, it still can be his finisher? Shannon throwing a .3 Christina Tantrum. Shannon - sets up Rey on the middle ropes? Ohhhh, it's time for the 919! Sadly, Rey is up in plenty of time - headscissors lands Shannon on the ropes, and Rey hits the 619. West Coast Pop one two three. (5:24) That was pretty much as good as you'd figure it'd be. Replays of the 619 and WCP.