No, really: Did Crash get fired or injured or what? This is where we miss the Ross Report.

TV 14 DLV CC entertainment open

WWE Crusierweight Champion Thug Life Billy Kidman (Allentown, PA, 215 pounds, 2) vs Shannon Moore (Raleigh, NC, 195 pounds, 11, w/o Matt Hardy) in a non-title match - Your announcers are unfortunately the Cat and Josh Matthews. Josh says the story here is that Kidman was willing to make this a title match (and why wouldn't he, it's only Shannon) but Shannon is so dedicated to the cause, he declined so Matt could win it on Sunday. Circle. Lockup, Shannon with a waistlock, Kidman standing switch, Shannon with a back elbow. Forearm. Forearm. Whip, Shannon with a hiptoss, Billy blocks, knee lift, crusierweight flip out, ducks the clothesline, off the ropes, spinning headscissors. Corner punches - Shannon is able to lift and drop Kidman on the ropes for a gutbuster. Back suplex. One two NO. Cat says Shannon wants to end this quick so he can go help Matt lose some more weight. Whip into the ropes gutfirst, rebound forearm to the back. Snap suplex, floatover one two no. Corner whip and Kidman goes down. Shannon takes a moment to look at the crowd, perhaps shocked that he's capable of such a whip. Shannon throws Kidman back first into the corner a few times. Taking trash, then cover one two no. One two no. One no. Kidman fighting up with fights but Shannon hits a forearm keep him down. Snap mare, surfboard. At least Shannon has a plan. Crowd rallied behind Kidman, what do you know. Trying to turn it around and getting kicked. Forearm, corner whip, Shannon charges into a boot. Kidman charges out, ducks a clothesline, hits one of his own and another. Fireman's carry into the knee neckbreaker one two no. Cat: "Someone ought to put Billy Kidman on the scale because he looks awful heavy." Josh and me crack up. Anyway, rebound clothesline is ducked, Shannon his a second rope leg lariat one two NO. Suplex turns weird looking - ah, it's Kidman reversing it to a small package after a moment - one two NO. Kick, slam. YELL! Overcast is sidestepped by Kidman. Lo Down and Shannon is dragged into position - to the top rope, Shooting Star Press one two three. (4:02) Kidman holds up his title - enjoy it while you have it. Here's a replay. As Billy leaves, Shannon gives us his impression of Christian's tantrums.

LATER: Los Guerreros vs Team Angle (apparently non-title)

Still to Come: Angle/Brock.

SmackDown Live!
Sunday - Montréal, QC [no way out]
Tuesday - London, OT
Next Tuesday - Bridgeport, CT
Next Saturday - Birmingham, AB
Next Next Sunday - Youngstown, OH

Oh no Carrottop and Stephanie, kill me now.

Stacker 2 DeMott beats Funaki last week

SmackDown #1 Announcer Funaki (Japan, 208 pounds) vs Bill DeMott (280 pounds), the (re)rematch! - Yea RIGHT. Funaki tries for attacking as Bill gets to the ring, which does ensure he'll get in some offense. Cat again has problems remembering if Bill and Josh were on the same season of Tough Enough. Josh starts to lose his mind here - shocking it took this long - "The show was on TELEVISION! You could have watched it all! On MTV!" but Cat's undeterred. Drop toe hold, dropkick to the face worked in - we're one bulldog short of finishing this. Hahaha, as I type it, there's the bulldog. Bill kills him with a back suplex seconds later. Josh and Cat discuss Cat having trouble being allowed in Canada. Funaki gets one more comeback - but stupidly goes for a crucifix rollup. One Someone Drop, and will Bill actually go for the moonsault? No, top rope elbow drop, and it misses! Funaki doing much better this week but he's still going to lose. To the top rope - Cross body hits one two NO. Funaki runs into a clothesline and that may be it. Replay of the clothesline. ON strap down. Both straps down. What' DeMott doing - he starts to go to the apron, but then comes back in. Then he points to the announcers. "Keep running your mouth!" Cat and Josh blame each other. Powerbomb one two three. (3:16) I'm sorry if my (correct) predication took all the fun out of it, but hey, there wasn't really any to be had to start with. Post powerbomb replay, he points at the announcers and makes the "Talking" motion again. I'd be the biggest Bill DeMott fan if he powerbombed the Cat into oblivion (or hate him if you wanted me too, I'm flexible) but Cat and Josh seem have to reached the conclusion that he's talking to Josh.

Next - Brock.

Brock vs Team Angle (8:43) Six man at the PPV.

Tonight: Los Guerreros vs Team Angle

WWE Rewind Stamboli Press Slam/beatdown of Rikishi of Thursday

Nunzio & Chuck Palumbo (481 pounds, w/Johnny Stamboli) vs Nova & Johnny Jeter (440 pounds, already in the ring) - Hey, it's THAT Nova, funny seeing you here. (what, was I expecting someone other person named Nova?) Barely recognizable with the short hair and no facepaint, but I haven't seen him in forever so I guess you expect me not to know him. While Cat suggests Johnny is suggest like a Backstreet Boy (hmm, AJ? - wait, I don't want to know that), Josh brings back the Heat exclusive angle of Johnny being all good with the ladies. Nunzio and Nova go chest to chest to start - oh the history there that I don't recall at all. Nunzio with a shove. Lockup, Nova with a waistlock, takedown. Back up, and Nunzio maneuvers his way to a standing switch. Nova looks to break the waistlock, and the gets one of his own. Nunzio forces him in the corner, breaks it when asked - right hand misses and Nova hits an armbar. Armbar. Tag to Jeter - I'm surprised at Josh for not noting anything about Nova's past here, but I guess it becomes tough if you're also trying to pretend you don't know about the guy he's in the ring with. Jeter with an armbar and working the arm. Long quiet announcer pause here. Tag to Nova, hold so Nunzio can stomp him. One two no. Armbar. Nunzio trying to forearm out. Whip, right misses, Nova with a hiptoss into an armbar, and Nunzio finally ends this by throwing down Nova by the hair. I guess he didn't cut it short enough! Tag to Chuck. Corner shoulders for Nova, followed by right hands. Corner kicks. Cat wants to know if we're supposed to call them The Family (come to think of it, I want to know too) and if they're really related (which I don't care much about.) Corner whip, Nova kips up, Chuck catches him o his shoulder, Nova slips loose, off the ropes, under a clothesline and hitting the spinning headscissors. Something like a dropkick (maybe a leg lariat?) doesn't look so good. Right for Nunzio on the apron, then to the second rope - cross body is caught, and lifted into an Samoan Drop. Hard corner whip. Chuck antagonizes Jeter so Nunzio can slip into stomp. Choke. Nunzio is a bit slow about leaving - but gets a tag. Nunzio to the second rope - Sicilian Slice. One two NO. Fireman's carry cradle by Nova one two no. Nunzio with a kick and a tag - whip into a Chuck side belly to belly suplex. Jeter came in (because Nunzio hit him off camera?) and Korderas is over to stop him, missing Chuck's cover for a moment - one two no. Discus punch. Tag to Nunzio, axhandle to the left arm. Armbar, all the way down to the mat , putting the knee into the joint. Nova trying to get loose - up to his knees, but Nunzio with forearms into the shoulder. Johnny is yelling to break his arm. Nunzio getting to his feet, Nova punching his way free and there's the enziguri. Nunzio makes the tag fist, and Chuck goes to knock Jeter off the apron, but Jeter drops off. Chuck turns to go after Nova, but Nova gets through is legs and makes the tag to Jeter. Jeter with a slingshot over Chuck in to the ring - right for Nunzio, ducks Chuck's clothesline dropkick to his knee, dropkick Nunzio jumping spin kick to Chuck's head. Corner right hands to Nunzio, then he steps off and turns around - into the Jungle Kick. One two three. (5:34) All three talk trash to Jeter. I'm just happy that Nunzio didn't win so I don't have to spell his finisher for another week.

Coming Up: Los Guerreros vs Team Angle

Rock/Hogan II (3:15)

No Way Out Lineup, one more time:
Hulk Hogan vs the Rock II
Scott Steiner vs Triple H (c) - World Title
Team Angle vs Edge/Lesnar/Benoit
Regal/Storm (c) vs RVD/Kane - World Tag Team Titles
Undertaker vs Big Show
Jeff Hardy vs Chris Jericho
Matt Hardy vs Billy Kidman for the Cruiserweight Title
Stone Cold vs Eric Bischoff

I wonder who Cat is rooting for in that last one. The World plug, Sunday Night Heat on TNN (w/Rey Mysterio) plug.

Next: Los Guerreros vs Team Angle

Here's that wacky Los Guerreros vignette gain. What's with the bright lighting, that's what bugged me the most. (5507-5649) Josh says Hispanics have no place in Beverly Hills - maybe it just like that to me.

WWE Tag Team Champions Team Angle (489 pounds) vs Los Guerreros in a non-title match - No Kurt or Paul. Sign: "¿Dónde Está el Mullet?" This is the first time these two have faced each other since the title change - Eddie makes the "I want the belts" motion. Team Angle abdicates the ring as Los Guerreros enter the ring. Eddie and Charlie to start - Eddie with a waistlock, Charlie tries a standing switch but Eddie with an armbar, then a legscissors takedown. Break, both up and staring. Double wristlock, Eddie with a back heel trip, Haas kips back up while still on the hold. Eddie kicks apart one wristlock, then trips up Haas' leg - one two no. Has with a leg trip, cover for zero. Stand off again. Lockup, armbar by Haas, Eddie with a double roll and a dropkick out. Right. Turnbuckle smash, tag to Chavo, right hands. Double underhook hold so Chavo can hits a slingshot dropkick to the midsection. European Uppercut. Turnbuckle smash. Tag to Eddie. Back suplex, Hilo one two NO. Right. Turnbuckle smash, tag to Chavo. Eddie chant. Snap mare, dropkick to the face by Chavo one two NO. Whip, reversed, Haas with a back elbow. Tag to Shelton, who runs right into a drop toe hold. This match is moving - turnbuckle smash, another European, distract Choida so Eddie can choke Shelton from the outside. Haas wants in but Choida isn't letting him - Chavo with right hands as Eddie cleans off his boot and claims innocence. European uppercuts by Chavo - clotheslines for Haas as he tries to sneak over. Corner whip, no back to the same corner, Chavo with a corner splash but Haas pulls Shelton out of the way at the last second (so that's what he's doing there), and Shelton hits a clothesline to take Chavo down. stomps. Shelton stomps Shelton out of the ring, and Haas beats on Chavo as Choida tries to keep Shelton and Eddie separated. Haas turns Chavo back first into the barricade and throw shim back in. Shelton with his back mounted chinlock, then quickly flips Chavo over for a cover one no. Chavo battling back with right hands, European uppercut, but Shelton comes back with a kick. Grabbing Chavo by the leg, Shelton reaches back and tag Haas, who hits an elbow drop to stop Chavo from moving any further. Josh says Cat's spent 8 years in jail? Hmm - I don't know if he's being serious. Corner whip, Haas charges into a boot, Chavo charge out into an overhead belly to belly suplex. One two Eddie breaks it up. Shelton comes in without a tag to take over on Chavo with right hands. Snap suplex, one two NO. Tag to Charlie, who uses right hands, shoulders to the midsection, European Uppercut by Haas! Chavo rallies back with elbows and right hand but Charlie stops him - hooking the leg again so he can make the tag to Shelton. Elbow drop again stops Chavo. Right hand - but Chavo again with a European Uppercut. Shelton with a right hands again to stop him. "I'm just kidding, Cat didn't do 8 years in jail - he did one." Whip, Chavo back with a dropkick. Tag to Eddie, tag to Charlie. Clothesline for Charlie, right Shelton, clothesline for Haas, clothesline for Shelton. Whip, backdrop for Haas. Dropkick, Shelton tries to go over the top rope but doesn't quite make it, recovering quickly enough just to go through the ropes before it becomes an incident. Kick, suplex chained to another suplex chained to a third. One two Shelton breaks it up. Chavo back in and forearming. Chavo with a whip into an Eddie backdrop to take him to the floor. Chavo with a kick, double back elbow. Setting up - Tornado DDT, Frog - no, Shelton pulls Charlie out and Eddie doesn't jump. Shelton get the belts and his partners - and they're leaving? I guess so. Guerreros are unhappy but do not leave the ring. Choida gets to ten, so we're done here. (CO 6:48) Guerreros are unhappy.

Sunday Night Heat, No Way Out, Confidential.