TV 14DLV CC entertainment open fireworks - your announcers are Cole and Loyd, oh no, oh very much no. Why have you forsaken me, Al? Over the course of the hour, I ignore them, but Cole tries out "heel color guy" while Loyd does play by play - I wonder if we're working our way to getting Cole out of this job?  

Shannon Moore vs Hugh Morrus (already in the ring) - this week, Shannon has different music and one of those really cheaply done videos. Lockup, Hugh tries to push Shannon in the corner, Shannon slips loose and ducks away, Hugh throws Shannon in. Open hand slap, open hand slap. Corner whip, no he'll just whip back to the same corner - charge in but no one's home. Shannon with a forearm, forearm, forearm, whip, reversed, Shannon slides under, Hugh lifts him up and Shannon locks on a victory roll - one two no. Kick to the thigh, kick to the thigh, kick to the thigh. Cole is fixated on Loyd's parking lot interviews the whole night. Off the ropes, cross body is caught,  over the shoulder, corner charge but Shannon slips off, pushes Hugh in, dropkick to the bad knee doesn't look right and Hugh just kina stumbles. Second one is really more to the thigh, though I don't know why he's working the thigh. Shannon off the ropes, under a clothesline, Hugh lifts him up again (WHY DO THEY DO THAT?) so Shannon dropkicks him. One two no. Forearm, forearm, off the ropes, flapjack's look better - Shannon didn't take it flat, maybe? Hugh with a stomp. Stomp to the chest. Forearm to the head. Right. Right. Right. Right. Cover one two no. Corner whip, charge in and it actually works this time - that's the corner splash. Forearm drop, one two no. Chinlock. Loyd hypes the "fun" of Eric and Stephanie competition for wrestlers. Cole: "It's gonna be more fun then sitting here and spending my Saturday night with you." Ignoring Cole for a second here - if they were ANY SMART AT ALL, they'd figure out CONTRACT LENGTHS for everyone as they resign here; if the point of all this is to be hyped about talent switching TV shows, you can build in the suspense and give all your characters a little more depth. Time to battle out of the chinlock.  More forearms. Running, but Shannon gets pulled down by the hair. Hugh Morrus with a bodyscissors pickup, so of course Shannon reverses it, this time to a bulldog. Maybe Hugh needs to adjust his gameplan against cruiserweights, because he's looking ever so dumb. One two no. Forearm, forearm, off the ropes, ducking under a clothesline, crucifix but Hugh ain't going - Samoan Drop. Point up - time for the No Laughing Matter? Well, he's stalling like heck so we never know. Shannon gets up in time to crotch him before he can go for it. Shannon pulling himself up on the ropes, now climbing up the corner himself - um, we'll call that a corkscrew moonsault - Whisper In The Wind, actually. One two three. (4:06) Hey, now would be a good time to bring up his connection to the Hardyz...but no.

Coming up next on Velocity, Eric Bischoff.

Which way will he go? (3:41)

oh man the Rock is talking to me about Vengeance's main event. "You ask me how I feel 24 hours away from Vengeance? 24 hours from now, I'm gonna be in the main event of Vengeance, against the Undertaker and Kurt Angle - right now, I feel that anticipation, that excitement. There's a quiet intensity that's brewing inside of me. That's an energy, an X-Factor that I just can't explain, it's a feeling that you're only gonna get when you watch it, only when my music hits, and immediately I go out and electrify. So I can't really explain, but I can tell you this, in 24 hours, I have a chance to make history - 7 time WWE Champ, and in 24 hours, I got to war, and there's nothing like it. Just bring it." Actually, that transcript would be more accurate if you ignored any of the periods. At Vengeance, you have the Triple Threat match for the Undisputed Title, RVD vs Brock for the IC Title - let's have a video package of Brock on a Smackdown show because...maybe this is part of Stephanie recruiting him? Riiight. (1:55)

Albert (w/ads) vs Nick Dinsmore - Again with the X. Why not an A? Lockup, Albert pushes him down. Nick up. Repeat. Nick right back up again, ducks the lockup, right, right, right, pushed down. Nick right back up, right, right, right, corner whip, reversed, Albert charges in but no one's home - inside cradle one two no. Albert with a knee, over the shoulder but Nick slips down, going for the reverse rollup but Albert gets to the ropes. Albert misses a clothesline, Nick kicks, that's caught, enziguri is not. Only takes Albert temporarily to a knee. Nick off the ropes and right in the scissors kick one two no. Turnbuckle smash, right, right, kicks in the corner. Albert scares the ref out of the ring when he dares to argue the beating in the corner. Rights in the corner. Oh, Mike Choida is your ref, and after more boots, he's trying to pull Albert off and again Albert turns and scares him off. Nick fighting back with rights, choke by Albert, push him back in the ropes and hitting a back elbow on the rebound. There's the slingshot into the second rope. One two pulled him up. Why'd he pin him if, eh never mind. Head crushing. Nick sells it but it looks totally unconvincingly. Nick backing out with back elbows, but he's thrown down by his head - one two no. Nick in the corner, Albert charges right into the thrust kick. Albert is stunned but charges again, and gets the drop toe hold into the second turnbuckle. Rights, whip, reversed, clothesline is ducked, Dinsmore hits a high forearm. Dropkick to the knee. Nick going up - missile dropkick connects. One two no. Dinsmore goes for a waistlock and gets smashed into the corner, than a series of back elbows. Calling for the Baldo Bomb, but Dinsmore get in a knee, chop, chop, corner whip, reversed, Albert charges in and hits the corner smash - here's a big slam. Going up to the second rope for the splash that never hits anything but knees. Knees. Dinsmore with a right it misses, double choke, Baldo Bomb. One two three. (5:15)

Last Thursday's main event. (2:13) Earlier Thursday, Michael Cole and Undertaker had a chat. (3:50)

When the voice over guy say "forever alters the face of RAW", do you think he very quietly adds "for maybe the next six weeks or so"?

JVC Edge and Hogan save Rikishi of Two Weeks Ago 

WWE Tag Team Titles on the line - Hogan/Edge vs Christian/Storm. And how we got here. (1:45)  

WWE Women's Champion Molly Holly is here to talk to us - too bad no one turned her microphone up loud enough. "Being that I am your WWE Women's Champion, I have a responsibility to you, the great and loyal fans of World Wrestling Entertainment. I have a responsibility to defend this title, not only against women on RAW, but also, women on Smackdown. And I take this responsibility, because I love to hear the admiration of you fans. But you know what I hear? I'm hearing snickering, I hear you calling me names [Cole: "Snoring"], I hear you people laughing at me, that's right - you all laughed when Trish Stratus pulled down my pants and exposed my...my...my undergarments! Yea, really funny, yea you people think that I have a big, uh, behind? My behind is just fine! I'm, I'm comfortable with who I am! I mean, I am WWE Women's Champion! I am pure! I am wholesome! I am a role model! You women? You women should be strive to have the high moral character that I do! And you men, and you men, you don't even know how to treat a lady like me! So you know what I decided? I decided that tonight, I am not going to defend my Women's Championship. You know why? Because you people aren't filthy! You people - you people are disgusting! And you people do not deserve to see the WWE Women's champion!" Cole gives us mock anger. "The world is crashing down beside us tonight on Velocity! But all's right with the world, because Nidia's coming up with Jamie Noble!" I guess Ivory was doing Tough Enough stuff? - too bad.

RBK Kidman pinning the champion of Two Weeks Ago

WWE Cruiserweight Champion Jamie Noble (w/Nidia) vs Funaki in a non-title match - We have an upset - Nidia's shirt isn't tied! Cole says he's a big fan of Nidia's underwear collection because she doesn't have any, which apparently means he's blind this week. Hey, which do you think will happen first - they take TAKA out of Funaki's open or they take Benoit out of Smackdown and Velocity's open? Circle. Lockup, Noble with a hammerlock, snap mare, turning him over and elbow dropping the upper back, then again. Turnbuckle smash. Kick, kick, shoulder, shoulder, Brian Hebner warns him about fighting in the corner. Funaki turns it around in the corner, right, right, right, corner whip, reversed, Funaki kips up and out, hiptoss. Dropkick. Armbar. Loyd says Rey is "the highest of all the high fliers", a distinction that was previously held by RVD.  Shots to the arm. Noble pulls the hair and back up to the ropes. Knee, right, whip, head down so Funaki with a nice armbar takedown one two pushed off so he locks in a cross armbreaker! CODE RED! CODE RED! Funaki's all over it this week - too bad he did it right next to the ropes. Noble rolls out, Funaki gets speed, baseball slide is side stepped, Noble misses the clothesline, Funaki with a back kick to the midsection. Yell at Nidia, whip, reversed and Funaki goes into the steps. Funaki throws in. Kick to the left knee, stomp tot he left knee. Knee breaker. Elbow drop on the knee. Elbow drop on the knee. Bending the knee. Kick to the knee. Put it on the ropes and sit on it. Again - no, Funaki boots him out of the ring with the other foot! Pulling himself up - but Noble pulls the leg out from under him on the outside - knee to the post. Knee to the post. Noble back in - clip, spinning toe hold into a - small package one two no! Kick to the back leg. Armbar, taking him down and turning him over, now holding a hammerlock in with his knee while pulling back on the injured leg - kinda a hammerlock/half Boston combo. Funaki won't give, so Noble lets go, then a knee driver. Noble taunts. Pulling Funaki up, knee breaker, but Funaki hits an enziguri in desperation. Noble is still up first, Funaki with rights, Noble stuns him with a shot to the knee, off the ropes, clothesline by Funaki. Back elbow. Funaki with a whip, lift into a flapjack! It actually worked! WOW! Dropkick to the face, cover one two no. Funaki is hurt and frustrated. Cole calls him "Sho Funaki." Funaki with a suplex, no Jamie falls behind, Funaki grabs a leg and trips him up, but Jamie shoves him away with his other foot. Noble charges into the corner and into a boot. Funaki tot he second rope, slap, Tornado DDT - no, Jamie takes the spin but reverses into a Northern Lights Suplex one two NO. Slam. Noble going up to the top rope - and Funaki pushes him forward and crotches him, knocking him into the post too. Funaki climbing up behind him - is he gonna crucifix powerbomb him from up there? More of a backslide, but Jamie flips free and to the mat anyway - Funaki slap, jumping Tornado DDT! But Nidia's on the apron! He's got the three! Funaki gets up and limps over to argue - Jamie pulls him into a waistlock, reversed, Jamie with a bodyscissors rollup right into the Trailer Hitch - having to bend a little bit not to get into the ropes. That's the end of that. (6:00) 

Vengeance is tomorrow! Confidential is next - with Eric and other stuff.

Actually, we get one more hype package for KOTR before it really starts. (2:47)