WWE SmackDown! - 05/08/03
Halifax Metro Centre, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
- Vince McMahon is out
- 15 minutes later, we establish that:
- Stephanie signed Mr. America to a contact that can't be
- Hulk Hogan is at home, as we see over the satellite.
- Since Hogan is Mr. America, Mr. America couldn't possibly be here,
according to Vince.
- Hogan says Mr. America will be there.
- Vince promises to rip his mask off.
- Backstage, Vince is told that Mr. America is here.
- Eddie Guerrero (El Paso, TX, 228 pounds w/Chavo Guerrero and Gold
Medals) vs WWE Cruiserweight Champion Matt Hardy (Cameron, NC, 220 pounds,
w/Shannon Moore and Crash) in a non-title match
- Eddie reverses the Side Effect into a under armdrag cradle for three
- Cole calls it a Peterson Roll.
- While Matt attacks Eddie post match, Team Angle arrives to punk out
Chavo and retrieve the medals
- Backstage, the FBI and the Big Show discuss something
- We're kept from overhearing by a constant flow in traffic between them
and the camera
- As people pass with a translucent window in one direction, a person
resembling Hulk Hogan and Mr. America walks in the other.
- The face is obscured by the window, but it seemed as though he was
- The heels break up their discussion to be confused by who they
just saw pass.
- Brian "Spanky" Kendrick (Olympia, WA, 181 pounds) vs the
- It's officially part of his name. Good for him.
- "You know folks, last week, and I had a little rap off with John
Cena. And you know what he did - he kicked my butt. And you know why he
kicked my butt? Because every time I said Cena, the crowd would says
Sucks. Kinda like if I said CENA, you would say [SUCKS] CENA  CENA 
CENA  CENA [Jamie Noble's music]
- Spanky (2) vs Jamie Noble (Hanover, WV, 200, w/Nidia, 9)
- It seems as though they might be changing him to the nickname.
- Cole focuses on it.
- Maybe just for the length of the angle?
- Sliced Bread #2 (4:41)
- John Cena is shown watching and yelling at this on the interview set
- He appeared to have wanted the other guy win, of course.
- Cena is joined by a fellow who looks a lot of Mr. America.
- Cena has to check himself, not sure he's seeing what he's seeing.
- Repeat of the Velocity Exclusive footage from last week.
- Rey is still dead.
- Cole lets us know that Rey is getting better, not worse.
- Brock does a backstage promo with Josh
- The title match at Judgment Day will be a stretcher match.
- Vince observes his coffee cup
- Funaki, stunned to be on this show...
- though he still hasn't interviewed someone in MONTHS
- ...lets Vince know that he's thrilled that Mr. America is heading to
the ring right this very moment.
- Vince talks to him like he's a guy with some mental issues.
- Vince says it's an imposter, and then makes Funaki get him coffee
- Anyway to get on SmackDown.
- Vince annoys Canada and moves on.
- This was a patented nothing segment.
- Mr. America arrives to the ring.
- They take their time showing a close shot of Mr. America just so we
wonder if it's someone else under the mask.
- It's not.
- Time killing cheers that are boring to watch. Even in fast forward.
- Mr. America gives himself away by talking.
- Mr. America has a irrelevant backstory.
- It involves Hulk Hogan inspiring him.
- He got that figure by eating vitamins, hmm.
- Cole pushes the storyline that if Mr. America is revealed to be Hulk
Hogan, the contract is null and void.
- Vince wants to unmask Mr. America.
- So he orders her daughter to do it.
- That's a powerful GM right there.
- Then Vince uses a low blow and goes for it himself anyway.
- If there's anything I've learned from lucha, it's that you untie
the mask first, then pull.
- Ripping gets you nowhere.
- Vince does not watch the lucha libre, of course.
- Vince accidentally takes down Stephanie in the process, and does not
get the mask.
- This was as contrived as possible.
- Mr. America hulks up and lays out Vince, before carrying Stephanie to
- This is another 15 minutes of my life that I'll never get back
- Mr. America has left the building.
- In that GM office, Stephanie and Vince don't get along.
- Sable is out to watch the next match
- Torrie Wilson vs Dawn Marie
- Torrie with a sunset flip one three (:48)
- That was a whole bunch of nothing.
- Sable gets the microphone and challenges Torrie to a bikini contest at
- Torrie strips to her bra to, uh, prove she has large fake breasts? I
forget the point.
- NFL Films - Team Angle promo
- WWE Tag Team Champions Team Angle (489 pounds, w/Gold Medals and Kurt
Angle portrait) in Rikishi & Tajiri (566 pounds) a non-title match
- Team Angle wins with their inverted atomic drop/superkick combo from
last week on Tajiri (5:28)
- Instead of Team Angel's music, it's Los Guerreros.
- They take off with the belts and the Kurt Angle portrait.
- Team Angle gives chase
- Spanky joins the announcers for the next match.
- Cole congratulates him on his win earlier.
- Spanky: "Thanks a lot Michael Cole - long time listener, first
- John Cena (West Newburry, MA, 248 pounds) vs the microphone
- Yo yo yo
so tonight, John Cena's got to fight a Rhinoceros
I'll rip out his crotch and make him see a gynecologist
Half man and half beast - is that supposed to impress me?
Man, my fist will swell your face - you'll be the white Dizzy Gillespie
I bet you fans think that Rhyno's going to give me the gore
I'll beat his ass so sore, it's like he did a prison tour [loud]
Yo, this is thuganmoics - I excel beyond sports
He rocks a horn on his head, I rock a horn in my shorts [loud]
And to that kid Spanky, imitating my flows?
I'm glad I broke his nose and ripped off his friggin' clothes
He had the whole crowd chanting "Cena Sucks" [crowd chants]
You think I do? Because I just don't give a ----
- John Cena vs Rhyno (Detroit, MA, 275 pounds)
- Rhyno gets an inside cradle when Spanky grabs the chain to prevent
Cena from using it. (3:07)
- Cena throws Rhyno from the ring, then chases Spanky toward the crowd.
- Rhyno heads him off at the barricade to get his revenge.
- Rhyno tries to run Cena into the stairs, but Cena moves out of the way
and Rhyno goes knee first into the steps.
- FBI finalize whatever plan they made up.
- Backlash lineup
- WWE Tag Team Titles: Team Angle (c) vs Los Guerreros
- They way they're pushing this so hard for the Guerreros, they
- World Title: Triple H vs Nash
- Bikini Contest: Torrie Wilson vs sable
- IC Battle Royal
- No one even hints that SmackDown guys could be involved
- WWE Title: Brock Lesnar vs Big Show in a stretcher match
- Brock's walking is interrupted by Nunzio.
- Brock eventually shoves Nunzio around.
- Nunzio attacks him from behind and takes off.
- Brock runs right into an trap, locked in a room by a 2x4 (Chuck)
and forklift (Johnny).
- A-Train and Big Show congratulate them on a well
- Big Show has a stretcher with names on it
- Rey is crossed out. Benoit and Brock, not yet.
- Anyway, by the power he has, he's making it a singles match tonight.
- That would seem to be a dumb move on his part but whatever.
- Big Show (500 pounds, w/stretcher and A-Train) vs Chris Benoit
(Edmonton, AB, 229 pounds)
- Announcers push that Brock's locked in, and Rhyno is getting X-Rays
from his knee banging
- Benoit was momentarily distracted by A-Train, breaking the crossface
to take care of him.
- Another Crossface attempt is turned into the chokeslam. (5:05)
- Post match bicycle kick and another choke slam.
- Benoit's attached to the stretcher.
- Show starts to think about another posting, but Brock Lesnar's out.
- Brock gets the better of A-Train but takes a chokeslam.