WWE SmackDown! - 04/03/03
- The long WrestleMania Highlight package leads into the open
- still featuring many shots of the Rock, and Angle and even Edge for
- Stephanie is out to explain things
- Undertaker (Houston, TX, 305 pounds) vs Rey Mysterio
(San Diego, CA, 175 pounds) in the WWE Championship #1 Contenders
Tournament, First Round
- Has Undertaker lost weight (in his announcement?) Is that American
Flag a new splice to his entrance video?
- Announcers hype up Mysterio/Matt from WM
- Hey! Why isn't MATT here? He's beaten Undertaker before, too!
- Mysterio plays elusive to start this match.
- He messes up by running into Undertaker's arm so Taker can throw him.
- Undertaker shows his storyline agility (and real life lack of such at
this point) by dodging a clip and """""side
stepping""""" a dropkick to the knee.
- """" for emphasis. Rey didn't come close to
hitting him because that's where he aimed and Taker moved a beat
- Rey goes to the leg kicks, and hits a springboard dropkick to take
Undertaker out, though he lands on his feet.
- Swinging dropkick keeps Undertaker at bay, but Rey's off the ropes,
Undertaker is in and booting him.
- Undertaker taking his time. About 20 seconds here.
- Corner clothesline.
- Taking his time. You can see his elbow is taped beneath a elbow pad.
- Rey sees how much he can sell an uppercut.
- Tazz and Cole debate "tooth" vs "teeth"
- Rey comes back with a jawbreaker, and then out of character punches
- IIRC, he's been using forearms as his main strike lately, so this
struck me as odd
- Undertake takes them, then comes back with a goozle.
- Choke, but Rey gets on Taker's shoulders, and spins out into a giant
- Undertaker leans on the ropes and gets the 619. He opts to cover
immediately, one two no.
- NOW he'll got for the West Coast Pop - caught, blocked, Last Ride. One
two three. (3:24)
- Undertaker helps Rey up in a Show Of Respect
- Vince arrives, and tells someone to tell him when Hogan shows up.
- WWE Cruiserweight Champion Matt Hardy (Version One) and Shannon Moore
(w/book) are out - to talk?
- Matt was the ONLY Hardy to wrestle at WrestleMania this year.
- Matt has read his book 12 times. That's the book Shannon has.
- Ah, guest commentary. Shannon helps Matt to his seat.
- Brian Kendrick (Olympia, WA, 191 pounds, 2) vs Jamie Noble (Hanover,
WV, 200 pounds, 8, w/Nidia)
- Kendrick has footage of him under a mask in his video.
- Why does he have those tights with one star on 'em? He's not from
- Shannon explains his loss to Brian: "I had an earache, I couldn't
- Matt says a W is a W (except when it's two V's close together.)
- Lockup, Jamie with a knee, forearm, forearm, right, turnbuckle smash,
kicks him down, boot choke.
- Jamie with a turnbuckle shot in another corner and kicks Brian down.
- Corner whip is quick reversed into a big boot (that looks like it
almost misses the first time I see it) dropkick knocks Jamie out.
- Brian to the top - double jump suicide plancha!
- Matt says Brian is great, but does he have a #7 book on the Best
- Matt and Tazz describe the authors of the book as "Matt Hardy
and that other guy"
- Brian throws Jamie back in and goes back up
- Nidia tries to grab him and gets kicked down. Jamie tries to get him
and gets pushed down.
- Top rope cross body one two NO.
- Shannon is the only Mattitude Follower because he's the only one who
has any Mattitude.
- There's millions of people who want to be MFers, but they can't be
because they don't have any Mattitude.
- So, instead, they're Morons - excuse me, Mooreons - and follow
- Corner whip, reversed, Brian goes in chest first, Jamie with a German
Suplex but Brian lands on his feet, charge but Jamie catches him in a
powerslam one two no.
- Jaime going up, but Brian gets him with a right hand.
- Brian moves Jamie's legs into position - top rope 'rana rolled through
one two NO!
- Matt says that's how someone with Mattitude would reverse that
- Jamie is up first and takes Brian back down with a clothesline one two
- Jamie picks up Brian, but Brian comes back with a forearms.
- Matt's talking about being the greatest Cruiserweight Champion of
- Brian off the ropes, but Nidia pulls down the middle one and out Brian
- Nidia grabs Brian and holds him, but Brian moves and Jamie's sliding
dropkick hits his girlfriend!
- Jamie can't believe - hey, Brian just hit "the Sliced Bread
#2" (Cole) one two three. (2:34)
- Matt and Shannon are up before the three hits
- Matt is in the ring and throwing Brian out.
- Shannon gives him a mic.
- "For those of you who may not know my name, I am Matt Hardy,
Version one. The undisputed Crusierweight Champion of the World.
Keyword: Champion. So that's why I'm issuing a challenge to Brock
Lesnar, the new WWE Champion. Keyword: Champion. So Brock, if you can
get over this fake concussion business, I say next week: Hardy, Lesnar,
Champion vs Champion."
- Brian is back up and in - forearms for Matt. Shannon is slow to
noticed and gets a jumping side kick.
- Kick wham what an unfortunate Twist of Fate for Brian. OH YEA
- Hope this works out better for Matt this time, but I got some doubts.
- FBI vignette
- I almost skipped over this, thinking it was still a commercial
- Anyway, the FBI apparently steal a TV set from a truck, having pulled
out and subdued the driver.
- Angle/Brock stills. And Brock's post match haze. And a replay of the
missed Shooting Star Press
- Between him and Kidman, maybe Stephanie should ban it for her own guys
- Tazz thinks that this would be the good time to challenge Brock, while his
head might be out of it.
- This was a no match segment
- Piper's Pit returns next week
- Chris Benoit (Edmonton, AB, 229 pounds) vs A-Train
(Boston, MA, 350 pounds) in the WWE Championship #1 Contenders Tournament,
- Announcers note that either guy could end up facing their tag team
partner in the next round.
- This is the third match we've seen between these two lately.
- Benoit dodges back from right hands. Single leg doesn't work, but it
leads him to a waistlock.
- A-Train back elbows out, and then works in knees to the side.
- Benoit rolls out, but A-Train is right on him, and throwing him back
- Loud "Shave Your Back" chant
- Short knee, and Benoit is thrown down.
- A-Train goes for a waistlock on the mat, but Benoit reveres to a
Crossface attempt, but he can't get A-Train locked in.
- Tazz does mention that A-Train and Benoit have met, once
- A-Train powers out of the Crossface, but Benoit gets it back and
- A-Train rolls out, getting what should've been a brief count but keeps
rolling, then lets go
- Benoit kinda uses a bodyscissors (or A-Train allows it to happen) and
A-Train grabs him in a modified camel clutch, for a second.
- Benoit lets his arms off the mat, and A-Train drops him with something
like a cobra clutch slam.
- A-Train is cut off from following up by the referee and Benoit rolling
out. He's selling it big.
- A-Train is out after a replay, but covering up from A-Train. A-Train
manages to get him in anyway.
- One two no.
- Benoit won't let A-Train get him up, so A-Train stomps him. Neck vice.
- A-Train lets go, and Benoit gets to the corner facing away, so A-Train
uses clubbing blows to the upper back.
- Corner whip, and Benoit goes down.
- A-Train is slow following up, then down to a chinlock.
- Benoit up with elbows and chops, but A-Train stops him with a knee and
throws him out.
- Benoit pulls himself up, and A-Train meets him only to take chops.
- A-Train picks him up with a double choke and I'm not sure what happens
- I think Benoit was supposed to go over the top for the sunset
flip, but A-Train drops him in a gutbuster like move on the ropes
- Benoit sorts sells it and goes over for a sunset flip, but A-Train
- There's the slingshot into the middle rope, which is now the
- A-Train with a boot choke.
- A-Train slow following up, Benoit battles up but gets a forearm to
take him back down.
- A-Train pushes him in the corner, but Benoit comes back out with a set
- A knee stops him again.
- Slam, but Benoit lands behind with a waistlock, A-Train knocks him
down with a back elbow again.
- Corner whip, charge but no one's home - German German German.
- Benoit up and there's the thumb across the neck - Swandive headbutt
- A-Train rolls away after the impact, but Benoit crawls and covers him
one two foot on the ropes.
- Benoit hooks it one two no.
- Stomp. Benoit off the ropes and kicking A-Train in the head.
- Off the ropes and A-Train hits him with the scissors kick.
- DeRailer - no, Benoit reverse into the Crossface
- A-Train powering out of it - but Benoit pushes off the ropes to
take him back down.
- A-Train holds in and reaches but gives up. (5:48)
- I guess pushing off the ropes doesn't force a break here.
- Backstage, Vince and Stephanie meet.
- Vince says he'll be alright (from Sunday)
- Vince says he's going to something to Hogan that he should've done a
long time ago.
- Stephanie warns him not do anything he might regret.
- Sean O'Haire thinks rules were made to be broken
- I guess he means the "vignettes lead to wrestling" one.
- John Cena (West Newbury, MA, 248 pounds) vs Eddie
Guerrero (El Paso, TX, 228 pounds) the WWE Championship #1 Contenders
Tournament, First Round
- Cena attacks Eddie as he enters and works over the back with punches.
- Stomping him and choking him in the corner.
- Cena with a hanging suplex.
- Eddie tries to roll away but Cena covers him one two no.
- Eddie elbows Cena as he comes after him, but gives him a forearm.
- Elevated bearhug by Cena.
- Eddie tries to fight out of it, so Cena runs him backfirst into the
- Side belly to belly suplex by Cena, one two no.
- Cena to a chinlock, and then to the bearhug.
- Eddie with headbutts to get out of it, then falls in the corner to
- Cena charges, and gets a drop toe hold into the middle buckle.
- Eddie is slow up though - Cena with a right, Eddie ducks, right,
right, right, off the ropes, running forearm.
- Eddie with a kick, right, right, whip, clothesline. Clothesline. He's
- Kick suplex suplex suplex one two no.
- Eddie going up, Cena getting up, Eddie waiting for him, missile
dropkick one two no.
- Cena with an eye rake, fireman's carry lift but Eddie turns it into a
victory roll and starts punching, but Cena drops him back with an
electric chair suplex.
- Cena really came with a plan for this one
- Cena notices his chain and crawls for it, which is another plan
- Before he can use it, though, Eddie dropkicks him and the chain goes
- Now Eddie has the chain and wants to use it, but Mike Sparks takes it
away from him.
- Cena get a moment to get up, press slam, no Eddie slips out at hits a
- Eddie going up, feeling Froggy - Cena moves so Eddie rolls though.
- 'rana by Eddie, corner charge but Cena catches and lifts - Death
Valley Driver. (4:54)
- Announcers build it up as a big win for Cena.
- Hulk Hogan, Nick (w/skateboard) and Jimmy Hart arrive.
- Limp Bizkit perform at WM
- Torrie Wilson is out to model her Playboy cover
- This is officially her "Playboy coming out party"
- Usually we would've got a break up there, so I guess that's why we had
that short segment before.
- Torrie gets a huge Playboy cover over the entrance.
- Also, she's very visible.
- Torrie's speech is better than Chyna's. Even before she starts
- Torrie teases flashing the crowd and...
- Sable shows up.
- No really.
- No really.
- She looks...older. Also she's wearing a top that minimizes her breasts
when you look at her face on, which is odd.
- From the side, they do stick out, yes.
- Tazz and Cole bring back their award winning: "Look at Sable!
Look at Torrie! Look at Sable! Look at Torrie" routine.
- Sable says that as of tonight, she's back.
- Sable remembers her heel catchphrase and The Grind, oh no.
- She talks and talks and I die a little inside.
- Sable basically says that Torrie is ripping her off, but that's okay.
- And even though Some People say there's no room for the both of them,
she thinks they'll be best friends.
- And then Sable pecks Torrie on the lips.
- Tazz and Cole have messes in their pants from that.
- I can't help but thinking that Torrie's cheeks are far too red.
- WWE Tag Team Champions Team Angle vs -
- no introductions
- and we go to break
- WWE Tag Team Champions Team Angle vs Tajiri & SmackDown #1
Announcer Funaki (413 pounds) in a non-title match
- I guess. They don't give us the graphic but having no introduction,
I'm not otherwise sure.
- Japanese duo rush the ring but get beaten up before they get off the
- Charlie throws out Tajiri, and Shelton throws around Funaki.
- Shelton with a mocking bow to Funaki, and Tajiri sneaks in to kick him
in the butt, then kick him in the leg to mock him.
- Then Tajiri and Funaki do jumping jack to mock him, a double bow to
annoy him double boots and a beat down when he rushes them
- Choida, who'd been keeping Charlie out steps in to get Tajiri out.
- Whip, reveres, Funaki back with a spinning headscissors.
- Charlie in, Funaki hits the drop toe hold and Tajiri hits the dropkick
to the face.
- Shelton back up and kicking Funaki. Right to the back.
- Tag to Shelton. Double whip, double back elbow.
- Charlie is yelling at Funaki to tag Tajiri - he wants Tajiri
- He gets Tajiri, who makes faces to the crowd before coming in.
- Charlie with a kick, right, and a turnbuckle smash.
- Corner whip, kip up, Charlie catches him, Tajiri slips free, Charlie
turns around into the leg lariat. One two no.
- Tajiri with three chops, whip, reversed, Tajiri bumps into Shelton,
back thrust kick for Shelton.
- Charlie charges, Tajiri side steps and hits a back thrust to take him.
- Tajiri sets up for the Buzzsaw Kick, but Shelton dives into to grab a
leg, and Choida goes out of his way to be distracted by Funaki.
- Charlie with a right hand to take down Tajiri.
- Back suplex, one two no.
- Forearm to the back. Corner whip, Tajiri comes out of the corner and
takes an overhead belly to belly suplex.
- Tag to Shelton, and here's the Team Angle double team sit. One two no.
- Surfboard by Shelton, then he lets go to put on a Boston Crab.
- Tajiri pushing up out of it - and Funaki comes into break it with a
- Shelton grabs Tajiri and tags in Charlie.
- Double whip, double clothesline misses, handspring elbow hits them
- Tag to Funaki - Funaki ducks Shelton's clothesline, right for Shelton,
chop for Charlie, right for Shelton, chop for Charlie.
- Whip, backdrop for Charlie. Shelton runs into a backdrop.
- Funaki charges Charlie, Charlie backdrops him, Funaki lands on the
apron and takes Charlie down by the hair.
- Top rope cross body one two Shelton breaks it up.
- Tajiri with a big kick to Shelton's back back, corner whip, reversed,
Tajiri hooks on the Tarantula.
- Choida of course is watching that instead of the other two now,
which makes me think the finish is coming
- is there really a five second count if neither man is legal? I
- Meanwhile, Funaki with a corner whip, reversed, Charlie runs into a
boot, slap, Rising Sun is pushed off
- Shelton runs by for a clip on Funaki, and while Tajiri is being pushed
out, Charlie locks in the Haas of Pain.
- Funaki gives (5:12)
- Announcers push Team Angle as more confident than ever and being
- Tajiri and Funaki looked strong as challengers, without diminishing
Team Angle's quality.
- Nunzio tells the rest of FBI that they need to have a meeting with the
- Nunzio will be doing all the talking.
- Josh Matthews catches up to John Cena as he leaves the
- Stop it, I know what you're thinking.
Next week, my chances of winning,
slimmer than a bus load of anorexic women.
Undertaker, he should be of the Hall of Fame.
But I never give up man, that's why they play the game.
Like Hugh Hefner on Viagra, I ain't back down
Anything can happen, on SmackDown
Dead Man make me famous? I'm gonna Undertake him
I ain't behind the eight ball dude. I'm gonna rack him and break him
I'll shock the world, I make the Dead Man fall
And leave him like a clear pool table, with no balls
- No Word Life for you.
- No mention of the rap-off at all tonight.
- the FBI have a sit down with Undertaker, to work out their
- Nunzio explains that something had to be done in revenge for Nathan
laying out Chuck, so Nathan got laid out.
- Undertaker understands that. But his problem is that they picked
WrestleMania to do it, and left Undertaker hanging.
- In his eyes, they have a problem.
- Nunzio is sorry he feels that way, but they had no choice.
- Johnny and Chuck get up like they might be making a move.
- Nathan Jones shows up, and Nunzio says they do have a problem,
but they'll take care of it when the FBI is ready to deal with it.
- If they didn't want us to easily put the pieces together, they
shouldn't have put these two interview bits back to back.
- Big Show (500 pounds) vs Rhyno (Detroit, MI, 275
pounds) in the WWE Championship #1 Contenders Tournament, First Round
- I did ALL the other matches today so I'm passing here. Unless they get
me into this quick.
- This is your Big Show vs Smaller Guy match, and Rhyno's not typically
working as Smaller Guy.
- Show dominates the first three minutes, Rhyno getting nothing more in
than the fighting back punches.
- Big Show takes off a top turnbuckle, which means he'll get run into it
- Rhyno still dominating - ah, Rhyno only gets the advantage because he
side steps a charge and Show runs into that exposed steel.
- Corner Gore by Rhyno. Show to one knee.
- A-Train shows up to get punched off the apron.
- Full on Gore hits, but Rhyno land away and has to slowly crawl to
- A-Train is back in and stomping, and it should be over, but Brian
Hebner does not immediately call for the bell.
- A-Train waits for Rhyno to get up - there's the scissors kick.
- And finally here's the bell. (DQ 4:16)
- Rhyno moves on, which probably shouldn't make Big Show happy.
- A-Train tells Show to snap Rhyno's neck, and A-Train hits a legdrop
- Play Show's music.
- Is he still hurt or something? This was another absolute minimum out
- Cole wonders if Show will be mad at A-Train later when he puts
together what happened.
- Vince is out
- To compress a long boring segment, Vince asks for Hogan to come
out - he wants a handshake.
- Hogan, after a tease, does so.
- Vince walks away, and at the top of the ramp, reveals this is the last
we'll see of Hogan.
- Vince will be paying out Hogan's contract, but Hogan will not be
allowed back on SmackDown!
- What Stephanie might think of all of this is not addressed.
- Vince taunts Hogan all the way to his car. Hogan does not beat up
Vince for reasons I'm not sure off.
- They certainly set up a rematch, so I wonder if Vince gets his win
The Tournament, coming out of this show, looks like so:
Cena--------- | |
E. Guerrero-- |
A-Train------ | |