WWE SmackDown! - 01/09/03
Tucson, Arizona, taped 01/07/03
recapped 02/04/03

• Big Show (w/Paul Heyman) vs Rikishi
  • This is one of those "intense" Riksihi matches.
  • Crowd immediately on Show.
  • Look funny to see Rikishi do a side headlock.
  • Show's too much for him to slam, but Show has no problem.
  • Rikishi not given much of a chance throughout here.
  • Show breaks out the abdominal stretch, but sadly, neither man has abs.
    • Maybe I should call it a gutwrench?
  • Crowd gets loud for Rikishi but he doesn't show much of getting out and Show pounds him down.
  • Rikishi punches his way up, but ends up spinning on a clothesline.
  • Yeech, drool.
  • Goozle, taunting, chokeslam. (4:09)
  • Rikishi wasn't in Show's league - basically a squash.
  • Paul promises to teach Brock a lesson tonight.
    • I hope it's table manners.

• John Cena (w/B2) vs Chavo Guerrero (w/Eddie Guerrero)
  • Why does Cena always ask them to cut the music, then play the music?
  • Cena's Mexican insults aren't particularly creative.
  • Los Guerreros are solidly the faces.
  • It took a triple take for Chavo to back suplex John - John do try to explain by grabbing the ropes, but it was odd.
  • Chavo gets the early advantage,
  • Cole says it's like "an east coast/west coast thing"  
  • They get the back suplex better later.
    • Tazz figures if Chavo hit one more back suplex on Cena, he'd get the win.
    • Tazz fears the back suplex!
  • Crowd gets amazingly loud for Chavo just as Cena finally turns the tide. Odd.
  • Cena goes for back superplex, Chavo knocks him off and goes for a moonsault, B2 gets a (loaded?) punch in.
  • Eddie is after B-2, and the crowd goes nuts.
    • Even if they never got around to booking faces here, this crowd made it's decision.
  • Cena is out to help B2, but Chavo flattens him with a pescado.
  • Eddie pretty much gets the better of B2 - suplex on the ramp triggers the refs into throwing both of them out.
  • Cena suplexes Chavo back in to get it going again.
  • Cena goes up, but he never hits whatever move he's going for and this is no different - Chavo stops him.
  • Top rope superplex by Chavo, delayed cover one two no.
  • LA MAJISTRAL! gets 2.
    • Chavo > Negro Casas
  • Nice floataround DDT gets 2.
  • Chavo goes for a sunset flip but Cena sits down while grabbing the ropes for the three. (4:57)
    • Dr. Wagner > John Cena
    • On a scale of 1 to 5 (most annoying), that rope grab was a 4.
  • Cena is happy, Chavo is not.
• Dawn/Al wedding recap
• Dawn/Al honeymoon vignette #1
  • "Dawn shows off what she's not wearing while previewing what more we'll see"

• Matt Hardy (Version One, w/Shannon Moore) vs WWE Cruiserweight Champion Thug Life Billy Kidman - non-title
  • Matt Facts: Matt has a heated toilet seat and likes pulp in his orange juice.
    • Tazz is just thrilled he has heat.
  • Why do you bring the "D" "[picture of fence]" signs to SmackDown?
  • Crowd is nuts for Billy Kidman!
    • These people must be very bored.
  • Kidman starts off with his grade-1 generic cruiser offense.
  • Shannon kinda half gets a trip in (lacking in Mattitude!) but it works well enough to quickly turn the tide
  • Add to Matt's Move List: Chinlock top rope choke.
  • Shannon gets in a choke as well early, setting up Kidman for the running sit.
  • Ricochet (back suplex into an elbow driver) gets 2.
  • Sleeper reversal spot gets Kidman back in temporary control
  • Matt reverses it with a side slam for 2
  • Tazz and Cole talk about Vince being on RAW Monday.
  • Kidman elbows out of the Side Effect to hit the Acid Drop.
  • After they both get up, Kidman starts his average comeback.
    • Matt seems to turn away from the enziguri, but looks to gets cracked on the side of the face.
  • Shannon gets on the apron go get punched, and Matt joins him after a backdrop.
  • Kidman decides to join them - top rope suicide shooting star press!
    • That was actually quite good.
    • Shannon and Kidman knocked heads on impact, though.
    • Kidman gets a 2 count back in the ring when they get there.
  • Rebound clothesline is reversed into the Side Effect. 2 Count.
    • Cole calls it "a side slam" till someone obviously corrects him on the name.
  • Downfall Raindrop (2nd rope legdrop) is avoided.
  • Short powerbomb connects, no cover because Kidman wants to go up.
  • Shannon, realizing that Kidman's only allowed to do that once a match, tries to crotch Kidman while Matt diverts attention.
  • It doesn't actually work, but it stalls Kidman long enough that Matt can get up and toss him.
  • kick wham Twist Of no pushed off into Shannon, rebound back into a rollup one two three. (4:28)
    • He must've had tights!
  • Story: Kidman's beat the odds, and beat two light Heavyweights
    • notice capitalization
  • Matt is less than happy and yells for Shannon to get in the ring.
  • Shannon begs off.
  • Matt is okay that Shannon tried and failed rather than not try at all.
  • Matt forgives Shannon. And tells the crowd to cheer for him. Raises his hand!
  • Matt gives Shannon a look, Shannon still thinks he's about to get beat down, and Matt pulls him into a - hug.
  • Shannon is weirded out.

• Josh talks to Torrie Wilson
  • Josh and Torrie agree the wedding was disgusting and tasteless.
  • She's not in favor of the honeymoon tape either
  • Torrie vs Dawn for Royal Rumble.
  • Everyone plays up Stepdaughter vs Stepmother, as well as it being a Cinderella story.
• Tajiri (7) vs Jamie Noble (w/Nidia, 5)
  • Cole notes this is Tajiri's return to SmackDown after an ankle injury.
  • Then he remembers that Tajiri and Noble had a falling out.
  • Noble wants Tajiri warned against using his feet.
  • Cole explains that Nunzio's not here because Noble wants to prove he can win on his own.
    • Why did he bring in Nunzio then?
    • Perhaps he just didn't think this through.
  • Tarantula corner attempt is blocked.
  • Noble eventually takes it to a facefirst drop off the shoulders on the barricade.
  • Noble works over the leg arm.
    • Tazz notes that it would make more sense to work on the ankle
  • Tajiri fights back with hard kicks to Noble's side, but the arm damage has taken hold.
  • Tajiri pulls out the Farmer's Roll!
    • well I suppose he probably calls it something else
    • Rolling body scissors cradle may make more sense to you
  • They do the Flair bridge up spot too, adding more at the end and ending with a Jamie bodyscissors cradle from the mat for 2
  • Double clothesline and they're both down.
  • Tajiri pulls out a German for a 2 count.
  • Arm still bugging him.
  • Handspring elbow but a delayed cover one two no.
  • Noble pulls out an armbar forward roll cradle into - hey, it's the Trailer Hitch!
    • Cole actually calls it, quickly
    • Tazz notes we haven't seen it in a while
    • Tajiri is moving but has a ways to go.
    • He gets there.
    • Now a leg and an arm hurt
  • Tajiri manages to kick Noble away once, but Noble comes back again...
  • and Tajiri manages the side entry into the Tarantula.
  • KO Kick is ducked, Tiger Bomb get a double leg takedown and a slingshot, Noble lands on the second rope.
  • Noble kicks Tajiri away but Noble jumps right into another kick
    • They didn't let us see it much, so it must've not been that good
  • KO Kick to the back of the head is not ducked in the last. Three. (5:02)
    • Would that be the reverse KO Kick?
      • Let's not spend too much time thinking about it.
    • Tajiri leapfrogs over Chavo on the ladder.
  • We get a replay of that kick Noble jumped into - still doesn't look right.
  • Story they mention: Tajiri is 100% after that injury
  • Story they gloss over: Apparently Jamie really can't win without Nunzio there.
• Kurt Angle talks up Team Angle as a set up to walking.

• Charlie Haas (w/Kurt Angle and Shelton Benjamin) vs Edge
  • Cole notes that Chimel ducked out of the ring ASAP, after what happened last week
  • We all note that Edge has no backup.
  • Benoit's music plays after the ring bell does, which doesn't make Angle so happy.
  • Haas has the advantage early with mat stuff
    • Haas with a Northern Light Suplex variant.
  • Haas makes the tactically unwise decision to get running, and Edge takes control.
  • Edge makes the tactically unwise decision, and Haas takes back control.
  • Haas whips Edge and Edge ends up hitting the Faceplant for 2.
  • Haas with a nice overhead belly to belly overhead suplex and then a snap suplex
    • Cole tells us that Haas runs 45 minutes a day, every day.
    • Tazz: "45 minutes in a row?"
  • Haas slows it down with a surfboard as the crowd somewhat rallies for Edge.
    • They're not as loud as earlier, but I think they've tired themselves out a little bit.
  • Edge reverses to a back suplex.
  • Haas ducks a clothesline to get a German Suplex.
  • Haas with the flying nothing to get kicked in the midsection by Edge.
    • There's absolutely no move he could've been doing.
  • Edge hits an overhead belly to belly suplex of his own.
  • Both down. Edge makes the comeback when they both get up.
  • Edge-O-Matic, check. Flapjack, check.
  • Angle, realizing what's left, goes to the apron, Benoit takes him down, Shelton takes HIM down with a nice superkick.
  • Shelton to the apron but he gets a Spear.
  • Spear for Haas, but Kurt pulls Edge off.
  • Edge gets whipped into an Kurt crutch shot.
  • Haas hits an Exploder for the three. (6:38, :30 of it Benoit's entrance)
  • Shelton and Kurt start to work over Edge, but Benoit clocks Haas and scares them out of the ring.
  • Cole notes that Angle moved around pretty well on that knee. 
  • As Team Angle turns to leave, Benoit quotes clocks, makes promises and opts to have his match right now.
  • Team Angle seems okay with that, but the commercial people are more powerful for the moment.

• Chris Benoit vs Shelton Benjamin
  • Both are in the ring as we return from the break, match just started
  • All the others were sent to the back during the break.
  • Benoit only slowed down by Mike Choida early on.
  • Benoit controls the mat wrestling even as far as getting on the Crossface, but Shelton is in the ropes.
  • Shelton tries to speed it up and gets chopped hard down.
  • Shelton tries to go outside and that actually works.
  • Benoit gets folded up on a back suplex.
    • Tazz mentions the neck injury
  • Shelton works on the back,
    • Nice butterfly suplex.
    • EL CABALLO!
    • El Hijo Del Santo > Shelton Benjamin
  • Cole says Chris Benoit has "the heart of a lion"
    • I laugh and say "that's the other Chris!"
    • Sadly, there's no one in the room to hear me
  • Benoit stands out of it for the electric chair suplex
  • Shelton with a powerslam for a near fall.
  • Shelton goes for pinning moves but they're not enough.
  • Benoit back with chops, ducks a kick, Shelton tries to use the ropes on a cradle but it's so obvious Choida notices.
  • German German German Thumb Swandive Crossface
  • Here's Kurt - he gets on the apron and Choida eventually gets up to notice him...
  • and miss the tap.
  • Benoit lets up, Angle obviously crutches him in the gut and that's a DQ (6:45)
  • This was better than Edge/Haas, despite the non-finish.
  • Angle swings, Benoit side steps and gets the Crossface on him.
    • Crowd goes NUTS.
  • Haas makes the save, then Edge makes the better save, then Kurt uses the crutch then Benoit gets him again.
  • German for Shelton, German for Haas.
  • But now Angle can get the crutch shot in. Many many many times.
    • Angle wants to know who the man is now
  • Team Angle holds Benoit up so he can take a good look at the belt.
    • Benoit spits at Kurt
    • Kurt gives him a closer look at the belt.
    • Shirt off, ankleock on.
    • Haas makes Benoit tap.

• Dawn/Al honeymoon vignette #2
  • Shower scene.
  • Al is tired
    • So tired that he leaves his towel on when he takes a shower.
• Shannon Moore (w/Matt Hardy) vs Bill DeMott
  • Matt joins in commentary, reiterating that he's forgiven Shannon for before.
  • I don't figure this to go any better than last time.
    • Matt lays down the Mattematics in explaining that Shannon wanted this match, Matt wouldn't push him
    • Anyway, Matt got beat coming into the business, so no problem here
  • DeMott goes to an extended headlock on the mat twenty seconds in.
  • Matt just wants Shannon to be more like him.
  • Matt Fact: Michael Cole is biased.
  • Nice swinging neckbreaker, but then DeMott goes back to facelock variants.
  • Tazz learns how to do the V1 sign.
  • Matt's story is that Shannon has to learn how to win on his own.
  • Shannon gets a short forearm comeback, and a second rope leg lariat.
  • Then a second rope jump into a DeMott clothesline.
  • Doctor Bomb for three (2:57)
  • Matt checks on Shannon in the ring.
    • He pulls Shannon up in the corner.
    • Shannon is sorry - he tried his hardest.
    • Matt claps for him - that's all he wanted.
    • Matt pulls him up into a hug. Pat on the back.
      • Crowd boos.
    • TWIST OF FATE!
    • Cole is not impressed.

• B2 (w/John Cena) vs WWE Tag Team Champion Eddie Guerrero (w/Chavo Guerrero)
  • B2 apparently has no music of his own.
  • Los Guerreros attack Cena before he has to rap twice, attacking them down the ramp.
  • B2 rolls over at the last second so his back will take the Hilo, how odd.
  • Eddie comes out strong early, but B2 manages a rebound press slam to take control.
  • Tazz says Eddie's rededicated himself to being a new Eddie in 2003.
  • Outside of a legdrop, most of B2's stuff is boring. A clothesline looks not right.
  • Eddie gets a mini comeback, but B2 hits a back suplex on the rebound (Eddie half flips over, landing on his face)
  • B2's springboard clothesline must've been really bad, because they hide it.
  • B2 uses a Falcon Arrow for 2.
  • Chavo distracts and Eddie gets another mini comeback, but B2 takes control again.
  • Eddie finally manages a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to comeback.
  • Cena gets on the apron but Cgavo pulls him off and belts him.
  • Eddie with a back suplex, feeling froggy, frog splash one two three. (4:15)

• Dawn/Al honeymoon vignette #3
  • Al is apparently passed out from the sex.
• Royal Rumble lineup
  • Dawn Marie vs Torrie Wilson
  • Kurt Angle (c) vs Chris Benoit for the WWE Title
  • Big Show vs Brock Lesnar for Royal Rumble entry
  • Undertaker returns
  • Royal Rumble match
• Big Show and Heyman reminds us about that lesson they promised way at the beginning of the show.
  • A-Train walks into say he gets Brock first.
  • A-Train reminds us that he injured Rey.
  • Tonight, the same to Brock. 
  • A-Train says Rey didn't match up, Brock won't match up, no one (looking at show) matches up to him.

• A-Train vs Brock Lesnar
  • Cole suggest this is a true test for Brock, since he doesn't have the size advantage.
    • Seemed to do okay without it at Survivor Series.
  • A-Train hits the Baldo Bomb :50 seconds in but only gets a two count.
  • He remains in control till he runs into a powerslam.
  • Brock pulls out two overhead belly to belly suplexes. Okay, how about three.
  • An attempt at a fourth is blocked by A-Train headbutts.
  • Brock reverses an Irish Whip Attempt into the F5. (3:01)
  • Pretty much like the opener.
  • Brock calls out Show.
  • Show and Heyman tease walking to the ring, but go to the parking lot instead.
  • Their lesson is that there is no lesson.
  • Show is robot-like during this.
• Dawn/Al honeymoon vignette #4
  • Wait, he's not passed out.
  • He's just not breathing.
  • Note the lipstick on Al's underwear.
  • The paramedics sound panicked but no one actually tries CPR.
  • This is not particularly fun to watch for me, so I'm skipping it.