I wasn't sure if someone was doing it this week, so...
Match #1 - 20 man Battle Royale
Dan Severn, Headbangers Mosh and Thrasher, Bradshaw, Tiger Ali and Bob Holly are in the ring as we start, the rest get introduced in this order: All three Oddities (w/Luna), Marc Mero, Jesus and Miguel of Los Boricuas, Scott Taylor, DOA (w/ the other Paul E.), Faarooq, Papi Chulo, Funaki, Togo, Teioh (w/Yamiguchi-son), Southern Justice, The Rock
You notice, no local guys? The roster has improved, over last time this year.
Yes, that is more than 20 guys. I guess 20 sounds better than 24.
I go in thinking that 1,2,3,4 are Togo, Sho, Teioh and Scott. I go 2 for 4...
Your Winner, the Rock.
I like Battle Royales. Easy point. 1 for 1.
Evening Gown Replay. We should give points for this.
Match #2 - "Too Sexy" Brian Christoper vs Val Venis.
I want Too Much vs The Headbangers feud. Or maybe NAO vs Too Much vs 'bangers feud for the titles. Not like anyone cares.
Val says he's like the Rubex cube, the longer you play with it, the harder it gets. I agonize on how to spell Rubex. Brian does the hip swivel. Too Sexy with a nice DDT. Atomic drop by Val, which Too Sexy sells big time, and a spine buster. Too Sexy laughs, Val hulks up. Major "Whooo"ing on the chops. 2nd rope bodypress that Val reverses into a powerslam for a 2 count.. Another hard DDT by Too Sexy. Sunset Flip Powerbomb by Too Sexy. Cool suplex by Val. Hip Swivel. Top rope Superplex by Brian is blocked, Money Shot.
Err, I'm in a giving mood. 2 for 2. .5 for the sunset flip bomb.
Breakdown. Triple Threat match. You know, I think I get why Kane and Taker can't pin each other. Austin won't go down easy, so UT and Kane will have to beat the crap out of him till he does. Vince likes that idea.
Raw Highlights, end of Shamrock vs Austin. Vince looks like someone who was watching Nitro for most of the night.
Pensoil Rewind - Double Suplex on Marc Henry, Bodypress into Powerslam
Match 3 - European Champ D. Lo Brown (from Oslo, Norway) vs Scorpio (still from Philly)
Talk about JJ/D.Lo/Owen vs NAO/X-Pac. Crossbody by Scorpio for 2. Hip toss D. Lo out, triple jump asai moonsault. Nice. Lot of talk about Scorpios's new found confindece. Sky-Hi. Slow Followup Moonsault (after pose on the turnbuckle, misses). Spin Kick by Scorpio. Scorpio hits a moonsault, but hurts his chest because of the chest protecter. Lo-Down for the win.
I love the world. I love Scorpio not losing clean. 3 for 3. The last two matches probably deserved partial, but I don't care.
Match #4 Dustin Runnels vs "The Preachers Wife"
Funny to see his eyeballs pop out of his skull like that...
Match #4 Dustin Runnels (w/ a prayer) vs Droz (w/ a push)
Dustin prays while the match is supposed to be starting. Droz walks over, so he can get cheap shotted. Dustin plays the part of the pissed off husband well, before stopping to pray. Droz attacks him while praying...that'll send you to that really bad place. (Insert WCW joke here) Droz shoulder charges Dustin, and Dustin decide sto go find a church. Droz decides that he'd rather get a pinfall victory. Dustin grabs Droz's hair, but can't pull the trigger on the punch to the face and decides to pray. Droz is less than amused. Droz, with the memory problems caused from a football career, throws out the man who wanted to walk out out of the ring. Dustin looks for something under the ring (a bible would be intersting), finds a leather strap and smacks Droz with it. Three hail marys later, Dustin is your winner.
Total number of prayers by Dustin : 4
Total amount of points for this match : 0
3 for 4
Does anyone actually think that the girls in the 1-900-WeAre18 ads are 18? Or the people answering the phones? Didn't think so.
Match #5 - "LIGHTHEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH" Taka M vs Fallen Angel
What the heck?!?! We still have this title, maybe there's hope left. We got right into the match, without intros. Taka in his old outfit. These two met before for the title on Shotgun, around Over the Edge, with Angel looking good. Overhead Belly to Belly for 2. Flying Headscissors by Angel, and Taka goes outside, so Angel can end up smacking his face into the guardrail. Taka with the Jarrett headpoint. Back in side, Taka with a running splash and arrogant cover for 2. Tornado DDT by Taka. He goes for another and gets powerslammed. Another powerslam for a two count. Sunset flip off the second rope, but Taka reverses it for two. Angel with a modified pedigree, but only get two. Angel argues with the ref, goes for a rana but gets powerbomb. Taka goes to pick up Angel, but gets small packed for 2. Angel runs off the ropes, misses a clothesline, but doesn't missed recieving a Taka Driver. Taka with the 3 count and we put up the copyright logo as we're late for Entertainers with Byron Allen.
You'd think the Light Heavy match would be the best of the show. You'd be wrong. Fun match, but I'm going have to finnaly go to fractions and give this a .75
3.75 for 5 or a cool .750. Either Shotgun really rocks, or I'm being really nice.