corp open, show open - I suspected a WM promo to start, but I guess not. 

Charlie Haas (Dallas, TX, 249 pounds) vs Val Venis (Las Vegas, NV, 244 pounds) - Lillian's back. Your hosts are Todd and Coach for Heat 458, and they've come down with a bad case of WrestleMania fever. Val salaams fans on the way to the ring, though we don't see quite why. Todd notes this is a rematch from Val beating Haas three weeks ago. Coach says Haas demanded a rematch, and he said okay. Val nearly gives his towel to a guy, which would've been great. Lockup, battle into the corner. Break. Your ref is Chad. Lockup, Charlie with a headlock, Val trying to turn it, hammerlock, into a headlock, Haas elbows him, Val shot off, back with a shoulderblock. Val off the ropes, over, hiptoss blocked, Val gets his own, armdrags into an armbar. Val keeps a knee to the face on the mat. Val with a hammerlock, but Haas gets to the ropes. Coach explains he would've beat down Austin after what he did to him, but it's the WrestleMania time of year and he was feeling generous. What a nice man. Haas elbows free. Turnbuckle smash. Whip, quick reverse to the Val running knee, back the other way, Russian legsweep, one two no. Val knee drops Haas' left shoulder, twice. Armbar on the left arm. Announcers talking about Haas' pre-wrestling job as a stockbroker, and Val's (right wing?) radio show - I don't know why they're talking about these things, but they are. Haas backs Val into the ropes, and then sits him on the ropes. Val lets go of the armbar, so Haas is free to shove Val backwards, tumbling him out of the ring. Haas not following up - a commercial break here in UK? Val slowly crawls to his feet, and Haas yanks him back in the ring. Elbow drops, picked up, rammed into the corner. Forearm to the back. I think he's found his body part. Kneedrop. Kneedrop. Knee on the back chinlock. Val starts to rally, so Haas smashes his face into the mat. Haas attacks the back some more, and puts on the chinlock with a knee in the back. Haas lets go and kicks and stomps to the back. Modified camel clutch by Haas - he just sort of ended up with it on. Val rallying, up on one knee, up to his feet, trying to break the chinlock, but Haas stops him with a knee lift. Haas drives Val into the corner. Punch - blocked, And Val punches back. Right, right, right, Haas rakes the eyes to stop that. Haas off the ropes, right into a punch to the midsection, which causes Coach to singing "Downstairs" as if it was "Downtown". Swinging neckbreaker, and both men are down. Both up, Val on fire with  clothesline, a back elbow, a shove. Whip, backdrop for Haas. Kick, grab the leg, seamanplex, one two no. Corner whip, Haas reverses but missed the charge, and Val gives him the back suplex powerbomb on the rebound. One two NO. Coach still loves Chad Patten. Haas trips Val into the corner buckle, and cradles him, one two three! No, not three! Haas hooked the ropes and Chad caught it, so the match will go on, just as soon as those two stop arguing. Haas charges at Val with a clothesline, and that's just asking to take the half nelson slam. Val going up, Haas standing back up before he gets there. Haas with a shot to the midsection, and setting up for the superplex, but Val shoves him off. Money Shot - HITS KNEES. Charlie just got up at the last second. Haas leans back on Val and covers, one two no Val reverses to a crucifix one two three! (7:31) Val won again! Charlie can't believe it, he thought it was over once he got his knees up. Val's grabbing his midsection like he's bruised a rib. But he bruised a rib in a win

Later: Shelton Benjamin vs Super Crazy
Next: Vince vs Lashley 

WM: Batista vs Undertaker [WORLD]

WWE Rewind: Bald is beautiful, but Stunners are better.

RAW: Vince's plan for Lashley. They edit out the first pin. This is a pretty good beatdown. (1:53) which segues into a WM: promo

Cryme Tyme (Brooklyn, NY, 510 pounds) vs Steve Boz and Eddie Venom (500 pounds, already in the ring) - Coach talks about Lillian. She needs ACL surgery from her skiing accident, but she wants to work thru it to make it to WrestleMania. Boz grew his hair out. This is what happens when you don't go to indy shows for eons. JTG and Steve Boz start. Lockup, JTG backs Boz into the ropes. Boz is about the same size as JTG. Off the ropes, under a clothesline, Boz puts his head down too soon, JTG frog leaps over, and back with a spinning back elbow. Backdrop. Corner whip, JTG charges in, Boz gets a boot up, JTG slides under and out, tripping Boz up. JTG to the middle rope, and off with a leg lariat, which is more of a Thesz press this week. Tag, and Shad lifts JTG up, and throws him into Boz. That's an odd double team. Shad kicks Boz, walks around with him in a double underhook, and gives him a a double underhook suplex. Boz escapes and tags to Venom. Venom is about Shad's size, so this works well. Atomic drop for Venom. Snake eyes. Running forearm - Venom falls the wrong way, and lands hard on the bottom rope. Tag to JTG. Snap mare, and JTG walks over Venom's face. Once more. Off the ropes, running kick to the head. JTG's fired up. One two NO. JTG waiting for Venom to get up, off the ropes, Boz gets in a cheap shot, JTG turns and knocks him off the apron, but turns back into a - bearhug. JTG trying to get free immediately with punches, but Venom lets go and knees him. Whip, Venom misses a clothesline, but scoops JTG back into the head bearhug on the next pass. JTG in more trouble this time, looking for some help and fading away. JTG elbows to get free, ducks a clothesline, and tags out to Shad. Big clotheslines to Venom, to Boz, to Venom, to Boz. Time to throw off his shirt. Side slam for Venom, clothesline out for Boz. Elbow drop to Venom, and JTG back in. Time to finish it - Todd: "Looks like Cryme Tyme setting up for the signature move, the G9!" YAY. Fireman's carry neckbreaker, that's it. (4:36) Todd: "Will it be the year where Sports Entertainment goes to the Ghetto?" hahahaha

All Grown Up: Divas - this one's remarkable awful

WM: John Cena vs Shawn Michaels [WWE] 
WM: Batista vs Undertaker [WORLD]
WM: Bobby Lashely (w/Donald Trump) vs Umaga (w/Vince McMahon) in the hair vs hair Battle of the Billionaires with special ref Steve Austin
WM: Edge vs CM Punk vs King Booker vs Jeff Hardy vs Mr. Kennedy vs Matt Hardy vs Finlay vs Randy Orton in the Money In The Bank
WM: RVD, Tommy Dreamer, Sabu, Sandman vs Matt Striker, Elijah Burke, Marcus Cor Von, Kevin Thorn
WM: Melina vs Ashely in a Women's Championship Lumberjill Match
WM: Kane vs Great Khali
WM: Chris Benoit vs MVP [US]

Up Next: Shelton Benjamin vs Super Crazy

All Grown Up: HBK

Shelton Benjamin (Orangeburg, SC, 248 pounds) vs Super Crazy (Tulancingo, Hidalgo, Mexico, 200 pounds) - Super Crazy has new music! I bet you can guess the soundbite it starts with. It's a remix - slowed down - version of the Mexicools song. Crazy's new outfit makes him seem less outrageously fat as well. Your ref is Marty. Lockup, no, Shelton with a knee. Stomps. Right. Todd compares Super Crazy to Batman - (no, that's Mr. Niebla.) Whip, Shelton with something like a back elbow. Whip, hiptoss reversed into an armdrag. Shelton charges, but Crazy reverses to a spinning armdrags. Bodyscissors snap mare, off the ropes, dropkick to the head. One two no. Whip, reversed, Shelton puts his head down too soon, and Crazy kicks it. Crazy charges, backdropped to the apron, Shelton stops him with a knee, backs up, charges, Shelton goes over the top to try a sunset flip bomb to the floor, Crazy holds onto the ropes for his life, and punches Shelton free. Crazy heel kicks Shelton - ASAI MOONSAULT. That was fun. Todd's never seen such a thing before. Crazy does a victory run back and forth. Crazy punches Shelton, Shelton punches Crazy and sneaks back into the ring. Shelton meets Crazy as he gets onto the apron, but Crazy gives him a jawbreaker. Going up - but Shelton kills him with a top rope springboard enziguri! Announcers are marking out for the match, regretful that they can't get to the hype because the match is too cool. Shelton crawls on top, one two no. Stomp, and Shelton beats Crazy on the match with a ton of punches. Running knee. Boot choke on the mat. Shelton pulls Crazy up, and Crazy fights back with punches. Off the ropes, right into a high kick by Shelton. Maybe a superkick? We didn't see it well, we just saw the boot coming at the screen. One two NO. Shelton slows it down with a side headlock ob the mat. Crazy elbows out, but Shelton stops him with some knees. Corner whip, Shelton charges in with a splash. Crazy flops to the mat. Shelton is pretty happy with himself at the moment. Shelton grinds his forearm into Shelton's face. Knee, forearm to the back - Crazy fighting back with a to the midsection. Punching back and forth on their knees, both men tired. Crowd not really into it after they've slowed it down. Crazy winning the punch battle, up to his feet, charge, jump, but Shelton catches him and gives him a huge spinebuster slam. One two no. Shelton can't believe it. Powerbomb? Kinda of a power drop, Shelton lost him early, but keeps him forced to the mat, one two no. Shelton gets the headlock back. Crazy waving his hands to get free, kicking his feet, and the crowd starts to come with him. And Shelton switches to a camel clutch. Crazy rallying free, slapping his way free. Right hands. Whip, head down too soon, Shelton's clothesline misses, Crazy spinning headscissors, dropkick, clothesline. Suplex, Shelton slips behind, neckbreaker, Crazy turns and shoves him off. Wheel kick, standing moonsault one two NO! Coach loves curly fries. Crazy going up - no, fixing Shelton first, now going up very slowly - Shelton up to his feet, leaping to the top rope again, Crazy shoving him off, Crazy off with a missile dropkick. One two THREE! (8:11) That's an upset too! They need to do a tag rematch next week.

That's it.