corp open. show open.
Val Venis (Las Vegas, NV, 244 pounds) vs Charlie Haas (Dallas, TX, 249 pounds) - your announcers for Heat #441 are Todd and the Coach. Todd notes that we haven't seen Val for a while, but we haven't had two straight weeks with matches in a while either. Everyone notes Val's weight's gone up, and Coach seems to be on the way to burying him, but instead says it's a new diet. Todd notes Charlie is a loser. Your ref is Jack Doan. Circle. Lockup, spinning around the ropes, still no one with control, around in the corner a couple times, and Val's the one asked to give a break. Haas shoves him, and they lookup again. Haas gets a waistlock this time, to a headlock, holding it, holding it, Val shoves him off, and Haas comes back with a shoulderblock. Todd and Coach talking about the Edge/Orton on Flair. Lockup, Haas with another headlock, shot off, Val hiptosses him this time. Armdrag, dropkick, Haas backing up in the corner and Doan giving him a timeout? That seems unfair. Val doesn't press the point. Lockup, no, Haas with a kick, and a forearm to the back. Right hand. Haas grabs Val's left arm and jumps out of the ring with it, snapping Val's shoulder over the top rope. Haas pulls Val to the apron to work him over on the apron. Val kicks him away for a second, but Haas just switches to kicks. Haas back in, and kicking Val out. Forearm to the back. Bad left shoulder into the apron, and again. They're both going to get counted out - Haas got in at 8. Still working the shoulder, with punches, though randomly attacking other body parts too. Val fighting up with punches. Haas tries to kick him down, and Val catches it and knocks him down. Val decides to drop an elbow - with his bad arm. That does not go well for Val. Haas stomps him for being stupid. Boot choke. Knee to the bad shoulder. Abdominal stretch. Haas keeping Val in there for quite a while, right in the middle of the ring. Val not giving up. Haas moving it towards the ropes - and he's got them! Doan is slow on the pickup, but argues with Haas. That allows Val to hiptoss out. Val punching his way up. Now they're trading punches, and now Val kicks him and throws him down by the hair. Off the ropes, Haas getting up while Val's running, so they end up with an awkward shoulderblock. Announcers only had the Edge/Orton talking point during this match, so they're talking about the match. Backdrop by Val. Haas whiffs on a clothesline, and Val gives him the back suplex powerbomb one two no. Kick, fisherman's suplex one two NO. Coach talking about both guys going the distance - it's been seven and a half minutes. Val chops Haas, whip, head down too soon, Charlie kicks him in the head, Haas off the ropes, right into the half nelson slam. Val going up. Well, first he'll dance around, then he'll go up. May have taken too long. Haas is rolling even before Val jumps, so Val does not jump. Haas retreats to the far corner, Val drops down and chases him, and Haas sneaks in a mule kick. Haas with a shoulder to the midsection, backslide with his feet on the ropes, one two three. (8:18) Announcers say it's a big win, but he just needed to cheat to beat Val Venis. A win is a win is a win when you're Charlie Haas.
WWE Rewind: the Highlanders beat Cade & Murdoch last week.
Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch (532 pounds) vs The Highlanders (Oben, Scotland, 34 stone) - I wonder what'll possibly happen this week. Todd says Cade & Murdoch requested this match, which catches Coach by surprise (since he probably should know.) Todd: "So basically, you're completely unprepared?" Coach: "Always!" Cade and Murdoch jump the Highlanders to start, once again. Highlanders quickly turn the tables and whip them into each other. Battering rams all around, and a big back drop for Murdoch, big double clothesline for Cade, and they've cleared the ring. Robby and Rory are ready for more, but Cade and Murdoch are talking it over outside. Robby and Rory decide to meet them out there to fight, with Rory and Trevor in the ring. Is the Coach drunk or just crazy here? Coach decides he may be drunk! Rory with right hands. Corner whip, reversed, Rory gets up a back elbow just in time. Turnbuckle smash, head butt, smash, right hand. Rory off the ropes, Cade gets in a cheap shot from outside. Robby spending far too much time arguing with ref Chad, which allows Cade & Murdoch to do the inverted atomic drop/big boot combo. Tag to Cade, who's on Rory with punches. Cade shows off his gum chewing abilities. Thanks for that. Forearm to the back. They're still talking about edge/Randy Orton. Did nothing else come up this week? Tag to Murdoch, and Rory's thrown back first in the corner, kick to the back. Stomp. Tag to Cade. Murdoch snap mare, Cade diving shoulder to the back. Fist drop tot eh head. Tag to Murdoch, and there's the assisted legdrop. They've got a lot of tag moves, now that I think about it. Murdoch with a armbar and a neck vice, but Rory's rallying it. Right hands, but Murdoch stops him with a punch. Suplex - no, Rory with a bad small package but Chad's arguing with Cade. Murdoch breaks free before a count is made. Kick by Murdoch, tag to Cade, who boots Rory down. Cowboys pose. Slam. Yelling at Robby. Cade loses focus a lot quicker than his partner. Slaps to the back of Rory head, and taunting Robby with a teased tag. Slam, and Cade's going up. Cade's talking, and then trying the elbow drop - Rory moves out of the way in time. Will he make the tag? Crowd wants to see it. Tag to Murdoch, tag to Robby! Scottish Hammer ! Scottish Hammer for Trevor, Scottish Hammer for Cade, another for Trevor, another for Lance. Dropkicks for everyone. Murdoch takes another backdrop. Robby ducks Lance's try at a clothesline and clothesline him out. Waiting for Murdoch, flapjack for him. Robby fired up, and Rory going up for the Scottish Rocket Launcher - but Cade shoves him to the floor! Robby turns around into a kick from Cade, big DDT, one two three. (5:55) Cade and Trevor need a moment to recover before they can celebrate in semi-disturbing fashion
Gene Snitsky (Nesquehoning, PA, 300 pounds) vs Shawn Reynolds (265 pounds, Pittsburgh, PA, already in the ring) - I haven't missed having matches THIS much. Shawn has a bizzaro Billy Graham think going on. Is Snitsky a face or heel right now? Your ref is Chad. Snitsky with a kick to the midsection, many knees, and taking advantage of Shawn's long hair to thrown him down. Elbow drop, and a choke while he's down there. Shawn kicks Snitsky away, but Snitsky nails him with a knee as he gets back up. Shawn is thrown into the ring post. Shawn's head hangs near the post, so Snitsky goes outside to boot the head into the post. Snitsky throws Shawn into the corner, so he can get a headbutt in. This is so over. Walking shoulder carry into a spinning side slam one two three. (1:56) No boot?
Rob Conway Never Wins (Atlantic City, NJ, 230 pounds) vs Super Crazy (Tulancingo, Hidalgo, Mexico, 200 pounds) - Justin Roberts gives Crazy the full hometown, so I guess that's what they're doing now, which is awesome. Your ref is Jack Doan. Circle. No, wait, Conway needs to spin around. Lockup, Conway with a waistlock, Crazy with an armbar into a hammerlock. Todd tells us that Conway demanded this match after seeing last week's Crazy/Shelton match and not being impressed. Yea, so was everyone else who saw it. Conway's thinking that he can get a win here. Crazy into a headlock, shot off, back with a shoulderblock Off the ropes, over, under, hiptoss blocked, reversed by Conway, Conway blocks it, so Crazy flips out, but Conway clotheslines him anyway. Breathe. Conway with multiple elbow drops (ie two), one two no. Todd tells us how Conway's gameplan tonight is not to waste any time, and Conway's breaking out a new "spin and point upwards" taunt maneuver. Who really needs gameplans? Back suplex. Coach is so drunk. I'm not even sure I'm kidding. Reverse neckbreaker. One two no. Coach just said "anals" before correcting himself. He's drunk AND having a good time. Crazy fighting his way up from the mat with punches. Conway stops him with a knee. Back suplex lift - Crazy tries to flip free but just sorta of slips free, falling out of Conway's grasp quite awkward and it's a near death experience, but everyone's fine. It did sober up Coach for a sec. Crazy gets the waistlock, Conway holds on to the ropes to break free, Crazy rebounds back and charges Conway as he turns around, 'rana is turned into a Conway powerbomb, but Conway seems like he gets kicked in the face in the process and they're both down. I'm worried about Super Crazy. One two no. Conway 'talking trash' before doing mounted punches. Reverse neckbreaker hold. Crazy rolling and the crowd with him. Right hands to head. Corner whip, reversed, Crazy moves out of the way, Conway stops short, Crazy small package one two NO. They've just gotten around to their other talking points of the day - Lita's farewell with Cryme Tyme, Victoria #1 contender, Cena vs Umaga. Crazy turn a clothesline into a crucifix rollup one two no. Crazy with measured punches. Whip, reversed, There's the spinning headscissors, and that's looked better. Wheel kick is fine. Dropkick. Crazy quick the rope rope for a springboard sorta dropkick one two no. Right hand, headbutt, and Crazy's going for ten punches. One tow three four five six seven eight - nope, he can't finish it either. Crazy rushes back after being shoved off, and gats boots. Conway to the middle rope - middle rope leg lariat one two NO. Todd: "If that won't do it for Rob Conway, what will?" Maybe his finisher? Rob seems to have that idea. No, he's going for something else, and takes a sunset flip fro trying - one two no. Corner whip, Conway charges in and eats boot. Conway stumbling drunk - like Coach- and eats a missile dropkick. Standing moonsault one two three. (5:01)