corp open. show open.

Gene Snitsky (Nesquehoning, PA, PA, 300 pounds) vs Rob Conway (Atlantic City, 230 pounds) - so I guess Rob's back to being a bad guy again? We do get to hear his music. Todd and Coach are your announcers for this Heat #428. Coach says he thought. We're only 2 weeks away from the PPV already? Gosh, this one's doomed. Your referee is Some Kid I Don't Recognize. Lockup, Snitsky shoves him down. Don't show off your pec, Snitsky. That's new levels of creep. Conway with headlock, shot off, back and Snitsky knocks him down with a shoulderblock. Circle. Lockup, Snitsky backs him in the corner, Conway would like a break. Snitsky gives it at three, and Conway gives him an eye poke for being rude. Right, right, right, whip, Conway slides over a "clothesline", there's a bad waistlock to the ropes spot (both the shove and Conway's roll back) and Snitsky throws Conway in the corner. Shoulders to the midsection. Corner whip, charge in, Conway drops down and Snitsky spears the post. Conway wisely decides to kick the shoulder a bunch. Conway goes the floor and just pulls on Snitsky's arm - Snitsky helpful grabs the rope to help Conway put pressure on him. Slightly more conventional arm smashes into the apron. Stomp. Stretching the left arm around the roes and putting a boot on it. Hammerlock. Forearm to the back. Armbar. Snitsky tosses him with his bad arm, but Conway knocks him back down with a dropkick to the shoulder. Corner one two no. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Coach threatens that we'll be seeing more of Charlie Haas & Viscera and Cade & Murdoch on RAW soon. Mounted punches to the bad shoulder. Conway yelling at the crowd, and the crowd yelling back. There's a lot more of them. Hammerlock. Announcers discuss how Chris Masters looked the same as always. Wacky top wristlock - with illegal leverage! Conway's dedicated, if doomed. This is one long wristlock. Snitsky stomping on the mat to get the crowd to come on him, and they do. Snitsky shoves Conway of to the ropes, Conway bounces back, both guys sorta clothesline each other and both guys sorta stumble around - that couldn't have been right. Snitsky misses a clothesline, Conway kicks him, whip, reversed, head down too soon, Conway kicks it. Conway gathers himself, runs, right into a hiptoss. Conway with a clothesline, grabbing his arm, scoop, losing his balance, walking, slam. Look, his arm hurts again. Corner whip, Snitsky charges in and eats boots, Conway charges out into the side slam. Grab your shoulder! Snitsky fired up despite the crippling shoulder pain. Snitsky is getting up for the boot, and we get a really bad angle of him hitting the boot, but not quite enough to make it look good. One two three. (6:15) Did Conway just bail on it early? 

WWE HOF on Fanatic. STONE COLD.

Val Venis (Las Vegas, NV, 234 pounds) vs Fred Simpson (Philadelphia, PA, 240, already in the ring) - see, this is the kinda match Conway needs. Do you think one week, they'll just forget and book him in a squash match? Did Lillian say "Sampson" or "Simpson"? Coach heard the same thing! Todd took notes! Amazing things are going on here. Val will - not give away his towel. Coach says it's account on No Hot Chicks. I think it's because he's going to do it after the match. Lockup, around and around off the ropes they go. Let's talk about Fred's quads. You ref is Jack, by the by. Lockup, Val with a headlock, shot off, Val back with a shoulderblock. Val has guaranteed victory in this match! Shocking. Lockup, Fred with a headlock. Coach guarantees that Val is carrying his bags. Simpson shot off, back with a shoulderblock. Fred off the ropes, hiptoss, armdrag, armbar. Here's the "Val's actually a very talented wrestler" speech. Fred backs Val into the corner, and back elbows Val in the face. That's not fun. Forearm from Fred. Whip, reversed, we're running and we're doing kneelifts, and then we're stopping for a Russian Legsweep. Coach explains he's "the right hand of God." Hipswivel. Todd explains Val is wearing green tonight as his lucky color, seeing as purple hasn't been working. Don't dare me to keep track. Whip, reversed, head down too soon, and Fred gets kicked in the face. Val follows up, but Fred drop toe holds him into the ropes. Fred celebrates, and the fans do not like Fred. Reverse neckbreaker could look better, but oh well. One two no. Fred suplex! Jumping legdrop. Todd has notes, but no notes on Fred expect his name. Cover, one two no. Figure four sleeper. "I'M GOING TO BREAK HIS NECK!" Been there done that. Val trying to get free, and the crowd coming on their own. Wait, is this supposed to be Guard? And Val punching out of it? DO THE HAMMER ELBOW! Val does not. Val with a non MMA right hand, and Val with a better one of his own. Fred back with a right, Val with a right, now Val's finally blocking and landing his own stuff. Whip, Val clothesline, clothesline, back elbow, snap suplex - he could do this sequence in his sleep at this point. Chop. Corner whip, corner clothesline. Val's fired up, so he'll do ten more while he's there. Whip, no, Val pulls him short for a half nelson slam. He's going up. Top rope. Money Shot. One two three. (5:29) Wow, he lived up to his guarantee. Hey, look, Val's giving away his towel after the match. We're all winners here. Not the girl who's getting Val's towel - haha, her boyfriend (wearing a Hulkamania shirt) yells at Val! That was worth the trip. 

McMahon DVD.

Edge and Cena on RAW, which is odd, because they hype this as being the McMahon and DX on RAW. This is much better. (1:33)

SummerSlam DVD is out already?

Charlie Haas & Viscera (736 pounds) vs the Highlanders (Oben, Scotland, 34 stone) - this match could main event any flea market in the country! Coach says Lillian has "a new rumored boyfriend". Apparently he's a model. Announcers wonder if the Highlanders will be ready to face someone as big as Viscera. Coach: "I think they're about 62 stone." Actually, 52 - check your notes! Rory and Vis lockup, and it does not go well for Rory. Viscera finally kills him with a clothesline. Scoop, tag to Haas - why would he do that? - and Vis slams Rory. Haas throws around Rory with waistlock takedowns, creams him with crossface forearms, and rolls him around in a front facelock for fun. "THAT WAS TWO!" Haas with his babyface fired up spin, which is now a heel cocky move. Rory does what you may have wanted to do, and socks him in the face for acting like a goof. Todd tells us that punch was harder than any punch Haas could've possibly taken in his boxing training. Haas with a right, whip, reversed, Rory puts his head down too soon, Charlie tries a sunset flip, and that's not what you want to do to a man with a kilt. Rory sits on his face. Kick, rammed into Robbie's boot, and Robbie's tagged in. Rory throws Robbie like a battering Ram into Haas. Todd is clipped off here - we're going to a break in the UK, I think. Now Todd's doing filling commentary as the match grinds to a half to accommodate the break. Haas back in, kick deflected away, and Robbie forearms him in the back. Whip, reversed, Robbie puts his head down too soon - that's a think with those guys, and Haas kicks him. Haas takes him down for good measure. Tag to Vis, Charlie holds down Robbie so Vis can add a running big elbow. Tag team pose - oh, for Lillian's benefit. She's not pleased. "I'M TALKING TO YOU! WE DON'T NEED YOU NO MORE! WE GOT EACH OTHER!" I don't need to know that. Lillian stands up - and does pretty nothing else. Vis goes back to work, working over Robbie with a open hand slap and bumping him repeatedly. Hiptoss. Tag for Haas. scoop, slam, Vis lifts Robbie up for a Haas spine kick. Stomping. Rory pound the mat to get the crowd into it, but it's not helping Robbie right now. Corner whip, Haas charges in and takes a back elbow. Robbie with another back elbow, and one more. Robbie takes a step out of the corner and Haas kicks him. Overhead belly suplex, one two no. Knees to the spine. Kneeling surfboard, but Robbie assures us that he's not quitting. Crowd rallying for Robbie, and he's fighting up with rights, but Haas stops him with a knee and a forearm. Tag to Vis. Haas with a whip into a trip, and Vis adds a falling headbutt drop. Viscera on Robbie, and choking Robbie with a chinlock. Robbie somehow standing up from that and punching. Off the ropes, and there's the sorta wheel kick. Tag to Haas. Kick to the ribs. Stomp. Haas stomps in the general vicinity of Robbie's hand. That looks quite horrible, so he does it again just as bad. Announcers try to sell it as effective. Crossface forearm. Forearm to the back. Way to mix it up. Robbie rallying with punches once more. Corner whip, quick reverse, sorta release T-Bone. Tag back to Viscera. Corner whip, and Vis Hipswivel before make his own charge in. Robbie ducks out of the way at the last second. Can Robbie finally make the tag to? Tag to Haas, tag to Rory. Rory ducks a clothesline, Scottish Hammer to Haas, and another. Do everything twice! Whip, backdrop. Vis in, Rory ducks his clothesline, right hands for Vis, but he's just shaking. Rory off the ropes, jumping shoulderblock wobbles Vis, but he doesn't go down and Rory does. What's he going to do? He's not sure. Off the ropes, jumping clothesline does no better. Rory tries a whip, because he's a moron, and Vis reverses him in to the corner, into his brother. Vis scoops Rory, Rory slips behind - remember when only particularly agile guys did that spot?  - and both Highlanders slip behind Vis. Scot Drop?? No, they can't get him up. They put him back down, bend over, and Haas decides this is the time for a running cross body block at both guys. Of course, they're kneeling, so Vis gets hit - but Vis catches him. Double dropkick on Haas to finally topple Vis over. Haas up, and Haas takes a double headbutt. Scots try the double rebound reverse suplex they used on RAW, but Vis slips behind and scoops Haas up on his shoulder after the rebound. Vis then kills the young Scottish men with a double clothesline, sending them out. Vis celebrate, and then joining them outside. This better not be a double countout. Oh no, referee Chad is counting and Haas heads out with a double axhandle for Robbie. Haas throws Robbie in, as Vis kills Rory with a chest slap. Coach and Todd have no idea who the legal men are, but I'm pretty sure it's Haas and Robbie, and they're both in the ring now, with Haas working over the guy in the kilt. Haas throws Robbie out, and now he's got nothing to do. Is he going back out? Here's another double axhandle off the apron, but this time Robbie catches him with a post. Vis is still beating up Rory, this time throwing him into the barricade. Robbie tries to make the save - oh, there's the freaking bell. (DCO 9:41) Yea, neither of these teams can afford a loss, and there's nothing better than a 8 minute match on Heat without a finish, I'll tell ya. There's no way Haas was back out for ten seconds the second time; did Haas and Robbie come back in because they had more time to kill or something? The power of the bell does not compel to stop fighting, with Haas and Viscera pretty much winning it. There's the referees, trying to break it up, but they don't do it before Viscera accidentally clotheslines the pole trying to kill Robbie. Vis wants more, but it looks like might finally be convinced by the referees. Rory charges Haas, and they're still going to be breaking this out as the show ends.