Let's talk about things that are overrated for a second: upcoming programming voiceovers. 

TV PG LV CC entertainment open fireworks

Tyson Tomko (Jacksonville, FL, 280 pounds, w/Women's Champion Trish Stratus) vs Val Venis (Las Vegas, NV, 242 pounds) - your announcers are Coach and Al. Val points out Coach, which annoys Coach. No Nidia this time? Coach: "You're probably turning me on right now, so you need to stop." It was Trish related, but it didn't sound good. Lockup? Blown! This Tomko is a treat. Turned into a top wristlock battle. Into a hammerlock. Taken down to the mat. Knee to the tattoo. And again. Hammerlock. Tomko into the ropes to get free. Val gives the break, and gets a pieface? Is that supposed to be the Iron Claw? Al thinks so. Right hands to the face. Al drops Fritz Von Erich's name. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Tyson targeting the ankle and the hand. Choking on the middle rope. Al: "You ever do that? Roll a Diva on her stomach and try to pin her?" Stomp. Stomp. TOMKO SUCKS. Val punching his way up, and then punching his way while up. Coach: "I can not understand why the fans are saying Tomko Sucks. He's a vile vile member..." Oh, wait, he said "vital." That's not funny. Val wanders into a drop toe hold so Tomko can get head and Tyson can get the favor of Christ with crossface forearms. Is this a camel clutch? This is not a camel clutch. Al paying more attention to Trish. Val slowly getting up out of the modified chinlock. Over the shoulder armdrag to escape. Val retreats to the corner, and side steps out of the way of a Tyson charge. Running corner clothesline. Backing up again, charging again, and hitting another clothesline. Tyson stumbles out of the corner, and they execute the half nelson suplex on the first try! One two NO. Coach: "Trish Stratus' main guy almost taken out on Heat." Christian's going to give him a stern talk. Whip, reversed into a Tyson standing chinlock, reversed into Val's back suplex into a powerbomb one two NO. Time for Val's mounted punches. What's he going to do? Look around like a goon. Now he's going up. Tyson has enough time to punch Val and scoop him off the top rope, but Val reverses the powerslam into a small package! One two NO. Val tries to lift Tyson up, but takes an inverted atomic drop. Val stumbles backwards and ends up inadvertently tying himself into the ropes! Jack Down tries to free him as Tyson approaches. Val kicks him away to buy enough time for Doan to get him free. Doan warns Tyson to lay off in those situations, missing Trish get on the apron and kick Val in the back of the knee. Val stumbles forward, and Tyson nails him with the boot to the face one two three (4:27) Al's Turning Point is Trish's kick. The boot looks quite good here.

Tonight: Molly & Jazz vs Victoria & Nidia

RAW Diva Search. Do I really want to slow down to see how they've redone the audio? Nah (1:35)

Rhyno & Tajiri (481 pounds) vs Rory and Robby (450 pounds, already in the ring - wait, not any more) - Rhyno and Tajiri rush the ring and scare the locals out of it. Coach wants it made clear that these two beat Garrison Cade and not him. Even if it's not true. Al doesn't let Coach get in the jobbers last name before he gets to do shtick based on their Scottish gimmick. I like these guys, but I'm not going to bother. Al: "Look at that, he pulled the skirt for added emphasis as he kicked him in the hiney." "I did that on my last date." Okay. Coach: "In comes Rhyno, the ManBull as I like to call him." Rhyno was desperately in need of a animal-related nickname. Rhyno and Tajiri do the Kaientai camel clutch/dropkick to the face spot, and Coach gets hyper for a double team move. Al is still bitter about being a Ninja. Tajiri gets worked over with some help from the outside Scot. Double Japanese Armdrag by the Scots. Rhyno gets the hot tag and destroys Robby. Rhyno lifts Robby up for a flapjack on to the top rope, and Tajiri nails him with a kick to the head on the way down. GORE. One two three (5:44)

Tonight: Molly & Jazz vs Victoria & Nidia
Next: Everyone wants to be in the main event of SummerSlam

SummerSlam: "Summertime Blues" by Rush
Everyone want to be in the Main Event of SummerSlam, but only Randy Orton is. Well, I guess that Benoit guy too. We skip ahead to the final two. It seems like, in the last year, they've really started to work harder on elimination teases in battle royales and especially when it comes down to the final two. (3:14)

Next: Rosey vs Robert Conway. Oooooh, Rosey's got a new serious video clip.

WWE Tag Team Champion Robert Conway (Providence of Quebec, 235 pounds, w/WWE Tag Team Champion Sylvain Grenier) vs - Wait, I think Sylvain has something to sing: "O Canada Terre de nos aïeux, Ton front est ceint de fleurons glorieux. Car ton bras sait porter l'épée, Il sait porter la croix-"   

WWE Tag Team Champion Robert Conway (Providence of Quebec, 235 pounds, w/WWE Tag Team Champion Sylvain Grenier) vs Rosey (350 pounds, w/Hurricane) - Still using Hurricane's music and Hurricane's video still includes only In Training clips of Rosey, what kind of graduation is this. Coach tells us that there were graduation ceremonies held and Rosey's now got a certificate proclaiming him a full fledged super hero. WHERE WERE THE WWE CAMERAS? I'm vastly disappointed in the people in charge here. I expect so much more from Steven Richards. Al: "Super heroes are larger than life, and Rosey's...larger than a lot of things. Larger than a locomotive, larger than some buildings-" Coach interrupts to complain on Al hating on "my friend" Rosey and we all go "huh?" Coach remembers he's on television and he hates Rosey and laughs it off - either that, or perhaps Rosey might not be using his new found super hero powers for good? Naaaah. Lockup, Robert with an armbar, kick, forearm, forearm, twist, Rosey reverses and drops him with a clothesline. Forearms. Whip, Robert slides under, his punch is blocked and Rosey headbutts him down. Pose, off the ropes, headbutt drop. Open hand slap, forearm, forearm, forearm, choke, forearm? (camera cut hides it.) Corner whip, Rosey charges in, Grenier pulls Robert out of the way and Rosey spears the post. Rosey's stuck, so Grenier unsticks him by smashing his head into the post. Rosey falls to the floor, but Hurricane chases Greiner away. Coach notes referee Earl Hebner returning to action after shoulder surgery. Goodbye, Chris Kay. Coach keeps no-selling the "Heat GM Steven Richards" gimmick for whatever reason. Rosey crawls into the ring, but is stopped by a Conway second rope elbow drop. One two no. Choke on the mat. Robert pulls Rosey up for a forearm, corner whip - ah, no. Rosey whips him the other way, Conway jumps to the middle rope, WOW crossbody is rolled under! Rosey showing agility, wow. Greiner jumps on the apron and gets knocked off. Robert charges into aback elbow. Rosey to the second rope, SUPER PORKY PLANCHA! What the heck. One two three (1:49)

WWE at DNC. Lots of Linda. Ivory. NOWINSKI IS ACKNOWLEDGED AS EXISTING! He gets no chyron. Stacy didn't pay attention in High School, shocking. Here's shots of credible news people. The young people are going to affect the vote because of the WWE. Anyway, their goal is a 10% increase in 18-30 year olds, which is 2 million more. Hence the slogan. (2:39)

Tonight: Molly & Jazz vs Victoria & Nidia
Next: Iron Man Madness

YJ Benoit weardown of two weeks ago. Since the whole thing here was Batista attacking Benoit's head, I thought they didn't do enough with head specific stuff in the Iron Man match.

Al says incredible three times in a sentence, not to make it lose impact or anything.

Benoit vs HHH Iron Man Match video package. 1:19 of before the run ins (with 3 finishes shown, though just use music so it's not easy to figure if you didn't watch the match), 1:27 after. The last third is all Eugene and Triple H, and that's how it ends. I think they would've been better served doing a 20 minute match with that finish if that's where they were going. (2:46)
SummerSlam: Chris Benoit (c) vs Randy Orton for the World Heavyweight Championship

Next: Molly & Jazz vs Victoria & Nidia

RAW Live
Monday - San Antonio, TX [RAW] I've been advised not to go "HMMMMM" here. Too bad.
Saturday - Trenton, NJ
Next Sunday - Toledo, OH
Next Monday - Cleveland, OH [RAW]
Two Weeks From Tonight - Toronto, ON

NGage Mystery Woman's Attack of Last Week.

Jazz (New Orleans, LO) and Molly Holly (Forest Grove, MN) vs Nidia (no hometown this week) and Victoria (Los Angeles, CA) in a Divas Tag Team Match - You know, Molly and Rosey have the same chinstraps. I think Rosey's hair is real, though. Don't dance Nidia! Argh. Lockup, Molly with a knee, axhandle to the back, stomp, forearm, kick, whip, reversed, under, into a hiptoss, right for Jazz as she comes in. Scoop, and slam for Molly. Nidia really wants in, so Victoria asks the crowd and lets her in. Victoria drops Nidia on top of Molly with a face first powerbomb! I wasn't expecting actual teamwork, so wow. One Jazz comes in to drop an elbow but Nidia moves and Molly takes it. Nidia with a right hand, chop, kick and Jazz rolls out. Molly sneak attack punch is blocked, Nidia right, slap to the chest (Coach disapproves), whip, reversed, and Nidia goes out because Jazz pulled down the middle rope. Molly wants out after her, and when he can't get to Nidia, Jazz does with a clothesline. Coach very quickly picks up that Nidia is looking very disoriented; she's stumbling into the evil corner at the moment, but she does look out of it. (A quick look back makes me think she hit knocked her head off the mat on Jazz's clothesline, because she got up with a glassy look.) Molly takes advantage to actually hit the MollyPop for once, cover one two no. Nidia face smashed into the mat. Molly with a front facelock, Nidia trying to battle out with forearms but Molly stops her with a forearm and kicks to the back. You'd think you'd pick hair that wouldn't be completely in your face. Suplex, one two NO. Coach is going over the SD! additions to the SS card. Tag to Jazz. Axhandle to Nidia's back. Choke around the middle rope. Crossface forearm! Nidia's face is smashed into the apron, one two NO. Nidia trying to crawl to her corner, but Jazz stops her with a forearm to the back. Jazz uses her back bridge chinlock to stretch her out. Jazz rolls back and rolls Nidia to cover for one two no. Jazz scoops up Nidia and starts to walk her back towards Molly, but stops - Michinoku Driver! That was unexpected. One two PULLING HER UP! Oooooooooh. Talking trash. Nidia using Jazz as a crawling post, but she's thrown down. Jazz takes a moment out of her busy schedule shoving Nidia down to tell Victoria that Jazz is the best. Short clothesline is ducked under, and Nidia lands a reverse neckbreaker! One two NO. Can Nidia crawl for the tag? Jazz has her by the foot - but Nidia kicks her away. Tag to Victoria. Right for Jazz (almost down) before it gets her. Right, clothesline for Molly. Whip, flapjack, one two Molly breaks it up. Nidia spears Molly! Nidia going for Molly's hair and they roll out of the ring. Victoria going up? Victoria stopping because Heat GM Steven Richards is standing on the ring steps in front of her suddenly? Uh, yes. Sounds and looks like the anger Steven didn't have about breaking up with Victoria before is suddenly coming to the surface. Jazz takes advantage, dropkicking Victoria into the turnbuckle. Victoria is out, and Jazz pulls her from the ropes to cover one two three (4:51) Odd that Steven showed up and the mysterious person did not. Steven retreats up the yelling to (unconscious) Victoria: "YOU WON'T CALL ME? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? JUST TALK TO ME! JUST TALK TO ME!"

That's it.