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Live, it's raining outside the Cow Palace where a lot of people are waiting. Cole's doing the hype? Because...
At the ticket turnstiles, Josh Mathews is waiting for Bill Goldberg. No sign of him yet. He'd be kinda tough to miss, I'd think. Anyway, he's supposed to be here but right now, only people who are making hand signals as they wander behind Josh are here. Josh promises to stand around and do nothing till Goldberg shows up.
Your hosts are Tazz and Cole, stuck working for an extra hour. What's the lineup? Brock/Eddie (WWE), Rey/Chavo (CRUISER) with corner people, Angle/Show/Cena (#1), Noble/Nidia (Blindfold).
Let's have a very special look back at the relationship - or at least the inheritance part of it. I believe the line of choice is "you pretty much sucked me dry", though the fade to black is a nice touch. I liked her hair curly better. I know you wanted to know. NOT THE MINK COAT. (3:07)
"This is Funaki, SmackDown! #1 announcer!" Funaki asks Jamie Noble how he feels about being blindfolded for the match tonight. While Jamie allows that he's been blindfolded with Nidia before, this is a wrestling match - how is he going to defend himself? Jamie Noble didn't blind Nidia, so why does he have to be blinded. "She can attack me anywhere, ANYWHERE, Funaki, if you catch my drift. How's it gonna look, if Jamie bygod Noble gets beat by a girl, by a girl, Funaki! You know how embarrassing that's going to be, how I am going to look myself in the mirror and know that I got beat by a girl? You know what my thoughts are? It ain't fair, it ain't right, I think it's BS, Funaki!"
Tazz thinks Nidia is being ungrateful. Cole decides the time for talking is...a little later, because he has to hype the PPV.
Tonight: Ultimo Dragon, Billy Kidman and Paul Lobdon vs Tajiri, Akio and Sakoda. Whoa. They'll get 2:14 to work with, but that's a nice thing just to be able to throw out there on a whim.
MX Rhyno and Hardcore trying to find a context for a filler match on the PPV of Thursday
Tazz is distracted by the WWE Blimp. No one will be distracted by the new match on the PPV: Hardcore Holly vs Rhyno. Also, Angle/Show/Cena (#1).
Let's reair the "Who Will Win the #1 Contender Match" stuff. Cena, Cena, Angle, Show, Cena, Angle, Cena, Angle, Cena.
Tazz explains that no only can you not see Tazz, but he can see Show winning. Cole agrees, and uses the "Angle gets laid out" bit from Thursday as reasoning. Although the chair shots to Cena and Show couldn't have helped their chances either.
RuE DeBONA asks uS CHaMPION BiG SHoW if he laid out Kurt Angle. "You know what, you're beautiful but you're not very smart, are you?" Show's case is that he's really big, so if he took out Angle, Angle wouldn't be here right now. Big Show's #1 goal tonight? Win the match, go to WrestleMania and face Brock. "But if that's Brock can successfully defend his title tonight against Eddie Guerrero?" "ahahahaha" Show seems to think Eddie vs Show at WM is ludicrous.
SmackDown! Live
2/16 - Stockton, CA
2/17 - Fresno, CA [SD!]
2/22 - Springfield, MO
2/23 - Joplin, MO
2/24 - Kansas City, MO [SD!]
Long lines to get into the Cow Palace.
Back to Josh. Goldberg? Nope. Get out of the kids way, Josh.
Torrie, Sable and Rue talk about Playboy. (2:32)
Tazz and Cole model the magazines. Tazz: "If you're under 18 years old, you shouldn't be looking at Playboy, Cole" and yanks the magazine away from him. Tazz tells Cole to run the show while he browses. Eddy/Brock hype.
Dancing Brock. (1:51)
Earlier Today: Eddie arrived. Yea, in a lowrider. He seems a little bit nervous.
Order the PPV now
Tonight: Ultimo Dragon, Billy Kidman and Paul London vs Tajiri, Akio and Sakoda.
YJ Stinger Bradshaw wins - hey, Faarooq actually exists!
APA vs TWGTT. Tazz says this is strikers/grapplers. Goldberg there yet, Josh? Nope. He doesn't even get to talk this time, though he does look at his watch. Tazz doesn't want Goldberg here - he doesn't belong here. Onto Rey/Chavo, where we go back to
5 Weeks Ago, where Chavo turned his back on Eddie (2:52)
Tonight: Ultimo Dragon, Billy Kidman and Paul London vs Tajiri, Akio and Sakoda.
WM Recall - Bret Hart beats Yokozuna at WMXX for the World Title, 1994.
The Golden Gate bridge inspires Tazz to sing.
The Official Theme Song of No Way Out is "Crossing Borders" by Rey Mysterio. And what better way to lead into the card listing.
Wow, look at all those empty seats. From the outside shots, it seems like they've got a long line and slow in, which I guess explains why we're not even half full yet with 20 minutes till the bell rings. Anyway, one of those empty seats is Goldberg's - how did they know which one.
Ultimo Dragon (Nagoya, Japan, 185 pounds) and Paul London & thug life Billy Kidman (415 pounds) - Dragon gets his own entrance. Cole is in love with this new team. Lights are turned way low, like we're doing this in a studio. The crane shots do not make things look good - this match is for friends and family only, it seems. Let's see if it looks better after a break.
Ultimo Dragon, Paul London and Billy Kidman vs Tajiri, Akio and Sakoda (643 pounds) - Yes, they are wearing suit pants. Akio has a shirt that he takes of before getting to the ring. Korderas decides to turn everyone around by switching corners, but it gets all sorted out. Plenty of time left for this one, though we still have at least one video package on deck. Okay, Akio and London. Lockup, Akio with a waistlock, London switches, Akio switched, into a full nelson, around into an armbar, pulling London into a side headlock. Akio shot off, back with a shoulderblock. Akio opts to stand and taunt rather than following up, and pays for it when London pulls out a headscissors from the mat. Akio gets back to his feet, misses a clothesline (London barely ducking), London onto the second rope, Akio charges again, London jumps over while booting Akio in the corner, armdrag for Akio. Crowd, how many are there, approves. Tazz favors Tajiri's crew, figuring that Ultimo's never teamed with London and Kidman and he's half right. London holds on to an armbar till Akio reveres via knee. Akio with a whip, blind tag by Kidman, Akio head down too soon, London kicks it, London grabs Akio for a side slam and Kidman adds a slingshot legdrop. Kidman covers one two no. Kidman grabs Akio to follow up, but takes a jawbreaker. Tag to Sakoda, who is right on Kidman with kicks. Whip, clothesline misses, Kidman back with a spinning headscissors. Kidman with a right hand, whip, reversed, Akio gets in a knee from the outside, Kidman turns to grab him, Sakoda axhandles Kidman in the back, double jumping kick to the head! Tajiri makes the non tag clap to come in, leisurely cover one - wait, Korderas (who was keeping London from coming in during that double teaming) says he didn't see a tag, so he's not going to count. Tajiri sent out, Akio (who wasn't the legal man either) is in to take over with stomps. Front facelock to hold Kidman down. Up to his feet, Tajiri makes the blind tag and is allowed in this time, kicks to the back, kick to the chest, stomp. Snap mare, kick to the back by Tajiri one two no. Chinlock. Eddie Guerrero's mom and brother will be here tonight. Tazz and Cole agree that Eddie winning a longshot. Crowd rallies for Kidman, and Kidman battles to his feet with elbows, but Tajiri trips him up and kicks him down. Cole calls the crowd "enthusiastic, but late arriving." Tajiri forearms Ultimo on the apron to prevent him from getting involved. London wants in again, Korderas stops him form coming in again, Akio and Sakoda do get in - triple dropkick to the head! Tajiri covers but Korderas is still warning London and Ultimo to stay out. Now he turns one two London breaks it up. Tajiri with a stomp, tag to Akio. Stomp. Dropkick to the head, cover one two no. Choke on the middle rope. Stomp. Corner whip, reversed, Kidman charges into a boot. Akio charges out with a jumping spin kick, but Kidman ducks, dropkick and everyone's down. Can he make it to his corner? Ultimo hasn't been in yet. Both crawling to their corners - tag to Tajiri, tag to Ultimo! Ultimo blocks Tajiri's right, Ultimo Five Kick combo! Akio stops Ultimo with a jumping forearm, whip, clothesline misses, quebrada on Akio! Sakoda on Ultimo with a waistlock, Tajiri tries for a snap kick to the had, Ultimo ducks, Sakoda does not! Double chop by Ultimo on Tajiri, double chop, whip, reversed, Tajiri backdrop, Ultimo lands on his feet, kick, whip, Tajiri handspring elbow connects. One two NO London breaks it up with a dropkick. Akio charges London, London goes for a hiptoss but Akio blocks and hiptosses London all the way to the floor! Kidman takes Akio over and out with a clothesline, and recovers in the corner while Tajiri and Ultimo mix it up in the middle of the ring. Tajiri's slam is slipped out of, Ultimo hits the spinning heel kick in the midsection, Asai DDT no Sakoda catches Ultimo on his shoulder to block. Tajiri nails Ultimo with the reverse thrust kick and Sakoda drops him with the shoulder powerslam. Sakoda kicks and throws Kidman out, Tajiri covers one two three (5:35) The unit beats the non-unit, as it should. Tajiri is pretty happy with his work. This one never really got going the way I was hoping it would.
Goldberg missed this match. His loss.
Kidman's crawling back in the ring to check on Ultimo, something gonna happen here? Here's a replay of the finish. Akio, Tajiri and Skaoda celebrate - now are they going back? Apparently this isn't interesting enough for us to see - onto Rey/Chavo hype. Angle/Show/Cena. Brock/Eddie.
And how we got to Eddie/Brock. (2:50)
That's it.