My laptop's hard drive: 2003-2003. RIP. Know a good data retrieval service? At least the warranty paid for itself. Luckily, I have a really annoying desktop with a constant high pitched whine - actually, that's not much luck.

TV PG DV CC entertainment open (no previewed video package?) Orlando, FL - lookit all the people outside waiting to get in, lookit at people inside waving at the camera and blocking the lines from getting in, lookit all the empty seats. Your hosts are Coach and what the heck did Al do to his hair? There's this blond bit up front and some red and I sure hope this was the stipulation of an indy match or something, because it sure seems like he lost. Al says we should buy the PPV as an early Christmas PPV present to ourselves! Al says a lot of things.

Armageddon: Goldberg (c) vs Triple H vs Kane for the World Title in a Triple Threat match - Al reminds us that "Triple Threat" means "first fall wins" (without saying "first fall wins.")
Armageddon: Shawn Michaels vs Batista
Armageddon: Rob Van Dam (c) vs Randy Orton for the IC Title with Mick Foley (hey! they got him an actual ref graphic instead of pasting the shirt on top - he goes "one two three Thumbs Up!"). Coach says it's gonna be a big night for Evolution.
Armageddon: Trish Stratus & Lita vs Christ Jericho & Christian in Eric Bischoff's Battle of the Sexes. Al: "You know better than anyone else, Coach, hell has no fury like a women's scorned. And that one gets the first video package of the night. (3:34)

Terri, looking on her way to one of those "My Mom Keeps Wearing My Clothes!" talk shows, talks to Trish and Lita. Trish is heartbroken still but Lita wants to kill 'em.

Tonight: Jon Heidenreich vs Steven Richards Rico (w/Miss Jackie). Huh?
Next: the Rock returned

FFX-2 Rewind Ric Flair beats up the one man he can nowadays, but RVD still wins thanks to Mick Foley.

Lookat! Tickets! That ticket taker seems slow, maybe that's the problem with the line.

Armageddon: Rob Van Dam (c) vs Randy Orton for the IC Title with Mick Foley. Coach and Al complain about Mick Foley being power hungry, seguing into La Resistance having issues to them on Monday. I wonder if Mick likes French Stewart. You know, JR, if this really is a RAW Moment, there's absolutely no reason you need to point it out unless you're badly trying to flaunt it in the face of so few of them you've had lately. (8:11) Coach says he and the Rock don't get along anymore (so sad!) but it was an electrifying return. Al complains about Mick getting involved in the Rewind up there and being in the match - let's see the graphic for a third time. You get no bold for me now unless you ORDER NOW.

Tonight: Jon Heidenreich vs Rico (w/Miss Jackie). Why go with Heidenreich? I mean, Heiden's fine, Reich probably not but hey it's a fake show and you could use whatever you want.

Bod Man? Matt Hardy, man. (Shuts the door on his relationship with Lita three weeks ago.)

In the locker room (with Maven, Dreamer, Steven!! and La Resistance hanging around), Matt Hardy (version one) talks to no one and everyone in particular about how he loves seeing that footage every single time. Lita chose her career over him, so he showed her the door. Maven has issues with this. Dreamer tries to place peace maker but it's Tommy so no one's listening. Maven mocks Matt being a "real man" - that Matt did what he did and is bragging it makes him a punk coward. Matt threatens to slap Mattitude into Maven. In fact, (after Matt talks to Eric), they'll do in the ring and settle it man to man. Maven says it's good - but he'll be the man and Matt will be the woman.

Al and Coach have opposing views if Maven did the right thing. I think Al is just happy Maven makes the PPV. Moving on with no rhyme or reason, here's a Mark Henry video package. (:51)
Armageddon: Booker T vs Mark Henry (w/Theodore Long)
Earlier Today: Booker T arrived.

RAW Live
Monday - Tampa, FL [RAW]
Next Saturday (as in "after the Xmas break") - El Paso, TX [Road to WMXX Tour]
Two Weeks From Sunday - Lubbock, TX [Road to WMXX Tour]
Two Weeks From Monday - San Antonio, TX [RAW]
Two Weeks From Saturday - Jackson, MS [Road to WMXX Tour]

Armageddon: Shawn Michaels vs Batista. Al: "Will Shawn Michaels do like Saddam Hussian today and tap out against Batista?" Here's a video package - of HBK/Batista, going back to Survivor Series (3:42) We come to Coach and Al hyping this and barely referencing something going on (more like finishing up) behind the in the ring. This is so like when CMLL hypes upcoming shows while undercard matches are happening far in the distance. So strange. Judging from what I see, I hazard no guesses in hopes not to be right. "This is a night for Batista to really really REALLY make a name for himself."

Coach: "I'm only doing this because I have to" - over 900,000 people have signed the Bring Stone Cold petition. Al: "Can you believe there are that many people who don't have a life." Moving on things Coach is doing for fun, here's a big plug for RAW magazine - Kane on the cover segues to

Armageddon: Goldberg (c) vs Triple H vs Kane for the World Title in a Triple Threat match
Armageddon: Shawn Michaels vs Batista
Armageddon: Booker T vs Mark Henry (w/Theodore Long)
Armageddon: Tag Team Turmoil (going clockwise: Jindrak/Cade, Venis/Storm, La Resistance, Rosey/Hurricane, Test/Steiner, Dudley Boyz) for the WWE Tag Team Titles. Al is upset that he and Coach aren't in here.
Armageddon: Maven vs Matt Hardy (version one)
Armageddon: Trish Stratus and Lita vs Chris Jericho and Christian
Armageddon: Molly Holly (c) vs Ivory for the Women's Title (in a match added just now to get no heat)
Armageddon: Rob Van Dam (c) vs Randy Orton for the IC Title. Coach: "this would be the very first title Randy would have won...IF"

I should've done bullet points. ORDER BY NAME.

Next: Jon Heidenreich vs Rico

Rico (w/Miss Jackie, already in the ring) vs Jon Heidenreich (New Orleans, LO, 275 pounds) - Al and Coach send it to the "B-Team" - King and JR. King wastes no time in making fun of Al's hair. JR wastes no time in reminding us that Jon played FOOTBALL for the Saints - he's wearing their colors today, which would be good if they were in New Orleans. Circle. Charles Robinson is your ref. Lockup, Rico of course gets the waistlock. Jon elbows out easily. Jon tries a clothesline, Rico ducks under, Rico leaps up into his arms and Jon gets a kiss.  Jon is annoyed, chases after Rico, but Rico gets to the ropes. Jon is pulled off and yelled at - Rico get a kick in. Off the ropes, a caught for a big inverted atomic drop and shoved down. Fans hate Rico, but only briefly. Jon clotheslines Rico out, and Miss Jackie checks on him. No, she's backing away? Maybe she's trying to get away from Jon? Jon catches up to Rico, at any rate. Rico thrown in, Jon back in, off the ropes, shoulderblock. Off the ropes, clothesline. That's half his moves! Jackie, sensing that, gets on the apron to model her outfit for Jon. That helps Rico get in a spin kick to the midsection, reverse neckbreaker one two three? (1:29) Crowd is like "what? That's it?" and they might be onto something. I guess there's no reason for Steven to get involved if Jon is gonna be beat that easy. I guess you job one Jon out to make room for another.

Armageddon: Goldberg (c) vs Triple H vs Kane for the World Title in a Triple Threat match. Recap package.

The end is here. (2:56)

Or not, as we go back to Evolution locker room, where Flair hypes up what'll happen tonight: Randy wins the IC title, HBK is choked out of the WWE, and Triple H takes back what is his. Triple H: "No more injuries, no more excuses! Tonight, Evolution begins, right here, right now!" This goes on about 15 seconds too long because we're running a good minute and a half short. What happened with that match? Someone must've decided to go home too soon. After Flair looks at the producer with a "are we done yet?" one too many times, we go back to the announcers for a few seconds more of hype, and we're out (about a half minute early.)