tv pg dv cc entertainment Coach CHOKES (:51) open fireworks - Coach: "needless to say, it's been a long week in the world of Coach and Al Snow"
Spike Dudley (150 pounds) vs Rico (Las Vegas, NV, 238 pounds, w/Miss Jackie) - Coach and Al are somewhat less than enthusiastic today. Spike walks all the way to the announce desk side of the stage and points at - cut to crowd shot. Eh. Your announcers are Al and Coach - Coach publicly apologizes for costing both of their jobs. Al is disappointed, but they're still buddies. They're professionals, so they'll pretend to care about Heat as much as they always do. I'm not, so I can blow this match off as I soon as I hear Rico's music. Announcers are discussing the match and a rematch and all of that. Get this: the crowd does not like Rico! And then Rico does some vaguely gay things. I do like that somehow that weird pose Jeff Hardy was doing at the end is one of them. Rico's hair is all sparkly today. Al wonders if Rico would like a Country Whipping match. Later: Steven Richards vs Lance Storm. Tommy Dreamer! Rodney Mack! Wait, 1:30 and we're actually wrestling. Or at least doing the Spike Dudley Heat match. Coach: "The biggest four year in the business, Spike Dudley - I'm just saying he acts like one, not that he is one." "Only when he's drunk." "Which is fairly often." "About 23 1/2 hours a day." They're kidding throughout. Announcers either haven't seen this match yet or have completely forget it, because Spike goes for the Dudley Dog 2 minutes in and the announcers call it, but ends up with a headlock takeover and the announcers are at a lost to explain why Spike didn't do something that was obvious even to them. Maybe Rico was supposed to reverse? Ah, about ten seconds later, they do the "Dudley Dog shoved off", with Spike going thrown back into the corner. Coach: "What a huge win this would be for either man!" Al: "Wouldn't Rico enjoyed being nailed?" Coach: "Especially by something called 'the Dudley Dog'." Al does say that Jackie told him that Rico and her will be debuting their Fall line soon. I expect that to happen no later than Val reveals who he's chosen to star in his movie. Wow, Rico just pulled out a flapjack into a shoulder slam! That looked nice. Crowd into this match and Spike's rally back from the chinlock, even if I'm not. Rico to Spike: "Why can't you just stay down?" Al: "Is that what he says to most of his dates?" Spike fights back and hits the top rope double boot. Doing his comeback. Al: "It's not the size of the man in the fight, it's the size of the man IN the fight. [beat] I have no idea what I just said." Spike hits the Battering Ram, but Jackie gets on the apron to distract. Spike over after her, and moving out of the way or the Rico charge. Waistlock rollup by Spike one two Rico pulls the tights and rolls through one two three (6:35)
Tonight: Newly Exciting Lance Storm vs Steven Richards
Later: Ladder Match highlights.
Y2J chokeslams for everyone on Monday
Tommy Dreamer (Yonkers, NY, 252 pounds, w/cane) vs Sheik Shawn Divari (220 pounds) - Sheik has a carpet. Circle. Lockup, Shawn with waistlock, Dreamer with an armbar, wrist, Shawn forward roll, forward headstand out, pose, shove for Dreamer. Kick is caught, Dreamer throws him down by the head. Right. Corner whip, Shawn with the WOW crossbody, Dreamer catches, blockbuster suplex. Shawn confuses Dreamer with Mecca. It happens? He gets stomped on. Whip, Shawn slides under, dropkick to Dreamer's knee. Shawn's kick, right. Shawn works Dreamer's leg around the middle rope, eventually hanging it for a dropkick to the knee. Cover for one. Knee smash into the mat. Resting on the bottom rope, and stomping the knee. Cranking it around the middle rope. Shawn off the ropes, dropkick, but Dreamer moves and Shawn crotches himself. Al: "The Sheik taking one to the Holy Land." Dreamer rallying with a clothesline, whip, backdrop. Off the ropes, Funaki bulldog! One two NO! Sheik with a shot to the back of the knee, off the ropes, spinebuster. One two NO. Whip, reversed, reversed into DVD, reversed into a DDT by Shawn. Shawn doesn't cover - he goes for carpet? And up the ropes? Al: "Is he Aladdin now? Yea, he's going for a Flying Carpet Ride!" Which misses, of course. DDT on the carpet one two three (3:12) As Shawn tries to sneak out of the ring under his carpet, he takes a cane shot to - the carpet. Which could be worse.
Next: Triple H's WACKY BRIEFCASE OF CASH
Someone thought post production work would make this interesting. (1:42) And then they had a tag match! (4:45)
Next: Rodney Mack
WrestleMania Wrecall: $15,000 Body Slam Challenge from 1985.
Tickets went on sale. Yep.
Rodney Mack (Lafayette, LO, 280 pounds, w/Theodore Long) vs dead meat - Rodney rushes the local guy before we even get a name. Al: "Rodney Mack, Rush Limbagh's favorite wrestler-" Coach: "Now that's not fair - it wasn't a racial attack, it was against the media, everyone knows that." "That's true. Those liberal media! I hate liberals! And apparently Rodney Mack does too." Oh, wait, we're in Chicago, so the Jarrett looking guy has to be Ken Anderson. Mack with the indiscriminate beatdown, but Ken rallies back with punches. Dropkick knocks Rodney into the corner. Whip, reversed, Ken kips up but is caught - Rodney with a big AlabamaSlam. Maybe that should be a LouisanaSlam. Theodore is happy. Elbow drop, elbow drop, jumping elbow drop. Choke cover one two no. Chinlock. Kenny elbows out, off the ropes, Kenny with a kick, forearm, forearm, off the ropes and nailed with a clothesline. Coach: "Why is it 'tackle on me' week?" Al: "YOU LOST MY JOB" Mack with a powerslam, and he seems like he's almost done. There's the spinebuster slam, one two three. (1:48) EVERYONE DANCE NOW
Next: Ladder Match highlights
Monday - Uncasville, CT [RAW]
Friday - Louisville, KY
Saturday - Norfolk, VA
Sunday - Wheeling, WV
Next Monday - Pittsburgh, PA [RAW]
Ladder Match (2:44)
Heat Exclusive! RVD celebrated with the fans after his match. (:10) I have no idea why Steven wanted to show that.
Next: Lance Storm vs Steven Richards
WMXIX Victoria remember she's in the Woman's decision. Coach: "Women just can't get along." Except for Gail and Victoria and Molly.
Your Special Guest Referee for the next match is Jacqueline
Lance Storm vs Heat GM Steven Richards (Philadelphia, PA, 232 pounds, w/Victoria) - they screw up and start to air Steven's video before remembering who's out first. On the other hand, he gets no introduction, so maybe he's not supposed to be out first? Steven poses, and explains to Victoria that he can't unpose until he hears his name announced. Foreshadowing Theatre brings us back one week, where Steven laid out Val Venis post match. Circle. Lockup, Lance with a headlock, takedown, Steven with a headscissors, Lance with an exciting headstand kip up. EXCITING. Coach, while hyping the book, recalls that "Lita used to be my former partner here on Heat - before they stuck me with you." They're not turning on each other more than usual, in case the quotes I'm pulling make it look that way. Lockup, headlock, shot, shoulderblock. CELEBRATE. Off the ropes, over, under, hiptoss by Lance. Hiptoss, into an EXCITING ARMBAR. You know how exciting the new exciting Lance Storm's armbar is? It's exciting enough for Val Venis to wander out on to the stage with a camcorder. Doesn't Fink say people can't do that before the show? Storm puts on an armbar so Steven can make angry motions at Val. Wristlock by Val. Steven reverses. Wait, we can get the feed from the camera? It's actually the real one I think, because there's no fake graphics that they use when they're simulating those. Lance reverses, to his own armbar, jumps to the top rope, Lance jumps off without hitting the armdrag but pausing to celebrate. Steven tires a clothesline, ducked, Lance with a springboard crossbody one two no. Lance back to the armbar. Let's watch Val watch. Let's see what Val is watching. Handheld wrestling match sucks. Coach makes a point that Val isn't watching the women, he's watching the men. Storm still in control with an armbar, but Steven gets to the ropes. Jackie asks for a break, and Steven sneaks in a punch. Stomp. Stomp. Knee. Knee. YELLING SUPLEX! One two NO. I can't believe that didn't work. Steven points at Val, and then does the running whip knee lift, other way kneelift, Russian Legsweep combo. One two no. Crowd is responding to this angle development with "BORING". till that cover. Stomps. Al thinks Val should invest in motion control sensors. Steven with a boot choke in the corner but Jackie pulls him off by the hair. Obligatory ref Jackie is tough spot? Not really: Victoria sneaks in to his her springboard somersault legdrop! Steven covers, one two NO! Victoria is always surprised that doesn't work. Camel clutch by Steven? Storm trying to rally back. Elbow, elbow, Steven with a forearm. Steven chop, chop, Lance right, Steven right, Lance right, right, right, right, Lance off the ropes, back elbow, clothesline. Whip, jumping leg lariat one two NO. Whip, Steven puts his head down too soon, Lance grabs him, hanging vertical suplex one two NO. Al thinks about going for the $100,000 but then opts not to die. Coach makes it sound like $100,000 isn't that much. Steven with a kick, whip, Steven charges into Lance's boot, Lance charges into a Steven BK Bomb? One two NO. Coach: "By the way Al, you actually have to take Goldberg out. I don't think you actually can do it." Al: "Sure I can, I find a place he likes to eat, we go out to dinner-" Steven is pumped - charge, into a single leg takedown, rolling into a half crab. Victoria on the apron, so Lance lets go to bring her in and point! Lance glances back, and sidesteps - Steven charges, and gives a Bronco Buster to his valet. That's no good. Storm with a springboard dropkick one two three. (5:38) Val is happy? Storm dances! He should team up with Rodney and Theodore.