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Rosey (357 pounds) vs Garrison Cade (261 pounds, San Antonio, TX) - Took 'em a couple weeks, but he does have a Rosey only entrance video. Your announcers are Al and Coach, who are hyped for later tonight. What's better, Garrison or Gregory? Circle. Lockup. Going nowhere. Like both of these guys. Later tonight - Rico debuts a segment to be named later. That'll be swell. Rosey with a kick. Off the ropes, Garrison with a kick. Garrison off the ropes, slam no lands behind, right, right, right, corner whip, reversed, Rosey charges in, no one home. Al wonders if Austin might help Garrison win this match too, and Coach says no. Well in more words than that, but the point is the same. Garrison turns him Rosey around and delivers a clothesline. Garrison manages to kick him away from following up. Hiptoss is blocked. Rosy with a knee and a hiplock takeover. Rosey with a walking kick to the chest. Right to the midsection. Double axhandle to the back. Shoulder. Shoulder. Abdominal stretch. Garrison manages to hiptoss out of it, hurting his shoulder in the process. More punches! Yay. Running forearm, still not going down. Dropkick, into the ropes and not down. IN fact Garrison is more down, so Rosey can forearm him. Whip, Rosey's running clothesline misses, Garrison's jumping knee hits one two three (2:23) Wait, three? On a running jumping knee? Coach says Garrison Cade is now two for two, which is technically true I guess.
Elton John Rico says hello. "Welcome
to the premiere of Rico's Runway, the show that helps you help yourself be the
most fabulous in any situation. For tonight, I have chosen two ensembles, in the
Rico Wear Sizzle Spectacular. And now, to introduce the supermodel, and my very
VERY close friend, the lovely, the vivacious, the spectacular and very beautiful
[camera pan to the left...wait, that's Jan the Makeup Lady!] AH! Jan,
didn't we discuss this earlier. You are my off camera assistant. So, off camera.
[Coach: "Why is he being so mean?" I dunno, he's just trying to run
his show, Coach] As I was saying, the very loving, the very beautiful, Miss
Jackie. [There goes that running joke - anyway, silhouette behind the screen
before she comes out to model] And for the first theme, we have Girls' Night
out. As you can tell, the matching, halter top with spaghetti string and
miniskirt, sparking sequins on the dress with the matching sequins sneak skin
boots is a definite must for this situation. This dress is perfect for strolling
down Sunset Bulverde, or romping on Rodeo Drive. Well done, my dear, well done.
Now, ladies and gentlemen, don't finger that remote, because we're coming back
with phase two, on Rico's Runway's ssssssssumer ssssssssssssizle
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssspectacular." Do I have to explain that she
was bending over so you could see - oh, you got it.
JVC End of the White Boy Challenge
Val Venis (Las Vegas, NV, 232 pounds) vs Roman Zachako (NJ, 223 pounds, already in the ring) - Hey Al, could you not talk over Fink? I have no idea what the jobber's name is. I could check. I could check while Val Venis talks right here. Eh. "Hello Ladies. You know something ladies, Warner Brother's Pictures and Venis Video have a lot of a lot in common. We're both producing two of the biggest films this summer. While Arnold Schwarnagger will be starting in Terminator 3: the Rise of the Machines, Val Venis in Textron 3: the Rise of the Big Valbowski." Coach completely guesses on the pronunciation of the last name, but then spells it out for me to get a free pass for the rest of the night. Good job! Lockup. Waistlock by Val, takedown, into a front facelock. Roman into a hammerlock as they get back up. Val reverses to his own. Roman trying to get the ropes - no too far. Those are two far again. Roman with a back elbow. Roman misses a clothesline, Val with a right, right, right, kick, kick, kick, kick, boot choke. Al's disappointed that Jackie's doing no better than Rico's Runway. There's his whip hold on and hit a knee. And another. and there Russian legsweep. Grind, mounted punches. Roman takes a corner whip, Val rushes into a boot. Roman rushes out into a half nelson suplex, hmm. Going up. Grind. Taking forever so this shouldn't hit. But it does - Money Shot. One two three. (1:53) Not much for the matches tonight, are we? Oh wait the towel. Hey look, he found a nice looking girl to give it to.
Tonight: Trish Stratus and Goldust vs Victoria and Steven Richards. Wait, Trish and Goldust?
Next: A tribute to Mick Foley
So here's that tribute video. (7:37)
Hey, exclusive footage - of him getting stitched up. "We hope to see him back in the WWE ring sometime soon.
Back to Rico. Jackie wearing a salsa top and tight pants. As if there's another kind. "Now - give me a beat!" And we salsa dance. And Jan sneaks in the background with a sombrero and castanets to join in. "Cut the music - cut the music! What part of off camera assistant don't you understand?" "OFF CAMERA! OFF!" "Give me those!" "Sorry" "Leave - leave!" "She's got my hat." "It's okay." "No, it's okay. Don't worry, you look great." "Thank you for joining us this edition of Rico's Runway, the Sizzling Summer Spectacular. Until next time, adieu. But now, Jackie and I are off to the ring, to teach Tommy Dreamer some fashion sense." They touch fingers and sizzle. You know, this was the opposite of worthwhile.
Rico (Las Vegas, NV, 243 pounds, w/Jackie) vs Tommy Dreamer (Yonkers, NY, 252 pounds) - Hey, if you watch the Bottom Line to win a chance to get 4 tickets to WM; quite like the Afterburn contest, ah. Rico has the longest entrance ever because he's got to take off clothes before we can play Tommy's music. Hey, I bet the guy with two pointless vignettes wins this match. Lockup - no, Rico will pose. That's kinda like Jeff's old pose, ain't it. I think Tommy is trying to figure it out. Lockup. Tommy with a headlock, spin into a waistlock, Standing switch, takedown, Rico riding his behind a little too close, Dream breaks the waistlock and is not pleased. Rico gives Dreamer the okay sign, but Dreamer doesn't agree - Rico hides himself in the ropes. Crowd: "Rico's Gay", which means this gimmick didn't go over their head. Al: "They're saying something about him being happy or something." Dreamer requests not to be kissed, I guess. Rico with a kick, right, whip, reversed, clothesline misses, Rico jumps in Tommy's arm and kisses him on the cheek! Wow, and Tommy just asked him not to. That's wrong. Jackie approves. Dreamer is rather annoyed - disgusted even, and we know how long it takes him to do that.. Rico pretends to be looking at Jackie and kick at Tommy but Tommy catches the leg. If ever this was a tome for a low blow kick - Dreamer settles for a hiptoss, armdrag into an armbar. Tommy to the ropes, whip, quick reverse into a knee, there's the step over heel kick. Crane pose - spin kick is ducked, kick by Tommy, Even flow. Rico near the ropes and a little bit under them but Tommy covers any one two - Jackie puts the outside foot on the ropes and the count is stopped. Tommy knows and chases. Jackie in, Tommy in, Jackie falling down, Tommy corners her by the ropes. Jackie decides to stand up and not run now - slap. Tommy is about to bust loose. DDT on Jackie? This isn't ECW - there's the Rico standing spin kick one two three. (2:38) Even the lengthy - and by lengthy, I mean, three minutes - matches sure don't feature a lot of wrestling this week. Rico and Jackie pose and non-kiss.
Terri stands in the men's locker room - Steven threw a fit and wanted an interview to reveal something. Uh oh. Victoria waves Terri into the bathroom - Steven's apparently in the stall. "Hurry Stevie! Oh, you're gonna love it. It's huge. This is - " Toilet flush. Victoria hands the toilet paper over the stall. Terri: "It's a huge? That's a bit frightening to me." Steven hands his PANTS over the stall. I guess he has new pants. Steven: "Hey Terri, you wanna hold something for me? Hold this!" and that's underpants. Oh they were just kidding, that isn't it either. Funniest thing ever for Steven. Here we go - it's new hot pants, same pink color. Victoria: "It's huge, I told you!" Steven turns around - it says Stevie Night Heat. Victoria points out the word and slaps that butt. Terri: "Wait, this is what you brought me into the men's restroom for? My god."
Tonight: Hey, amazingly, the new tights are already in the video with Steven saying that this is his show.
Next: Kane takes the mask off.
Monday - Buffalo, NY [raw]
Friday - London, ON
Saturday - ST. John, NB
Next Sunday - Charlottetown, PEI
Next Monday - Montreal, QC [raw]
True Story: My recording cut off as Triple H was hitting the second Pedigree. That was mildly annoying, probably more so if I cared about either guy. Flashing red lights makes it look scary, I guess. (2:18) Kane's face is grotesque, they tell me.
Next: Trish/Goldust vs Victoria/Steven
Rise of Steven's Push of Last Sunday
Trish Stratus (Toronto, CA) and Goldust (Hollywood, CA, 260 pounds) vs Steven Richards & Victoria in a mixed tag team match - Last Monday, Steve Austin, Trish, Goldberg were at an autograph signing of some sort. This angle is providing way too many shots of Steven Richard's butt for my taste. New pose. Good for them. Trish, Victoria, and Victoria's huge knee brace will start. Victoria misses a forearm but Trish doesn't miss here. Victoria hesitant. Lockup. Victoria pushes Trish in the corner. Chop. Chop. Chop - no Trish ducks. Trish with a chop. Chop. Chop. Chop. Whip, reversed, Trish gets the ropes, Victoria charges into a back elbow. Trish charges out - up into a victory roll, then spinning around for something in the headscissors family. Trish waits for her to get up - dropkick one two no. Tag to Goldust - I guess this is everyone in any time match. Double whip, Goldust with the butt bump. Steven in, inverted atomic drop and Trish hits the hick kick. Goldust freaking out - and kissing her again. Tag to Trish. Trish waits for Victoria to turn around - forearm, forearm, forearm, whip, reversed, Victoria misses as clothesline, weird way it get an inside cradle but no count because Chad and Goldust were discussing that kiss. Trish with a forearm, forearm, forearm, forearm, whip, reversed, now Steven gets the trio he's been waiting there for a while. Vic with the fireman's carry lift- there's the Spider Web one two NO. Victoria throwing Trish down into the mat face first. Slam. Holding her down, tag to Steven. Steven taunting, as you think he might. Picking her up, shoulder slam? Well, he'll stop to taunt Goldust, which allows Trish to slip behind and hit an inside cradle one two no. Steven grabs the hair, forces Trish down, and sets up for a punch before Goldust breaks it up with a punch of his own. Victoria makes the non tag in, stomp, stomp. Second rope choke. "YOU LIKE IT? YOU LIKE IT?" I dunno, it's been a pretty lame show, Victoria. Whip, clothesline misses, Trish with a reverse neckbreaker. That was neat, but everything Trish is doing tonight looks strange. I don't think she's messing up or anything, it's just unusual. Tag to Steven, tag to Goldust. Goldust with a clothesline, clothesline. Whip, high back body drop. Whip, reversed, there's the thrust upper cut. Side slam. Victoria going up - and she's crotched. Trish wants the tag, so she gets it. Stratusphere works this week. Trish throws Victoria in the corner, and he's hanging her legs up. Calling Goldust in. Goldust would be happy to do the Shattered Dreams here. Goldust setting up, Steven charging from behind, Goldust sees him coming , drop toe hold into Victoria's crotch! Even Trish feels bad for Victoria on that one. Goldust beating Steven on the outside. Trish with a whip, reversed, Victoria misses a punch, Trish hits the Chick Kick. Steven gets Goldust into the stairs. Stratus-no, Steven pulls her of and into an inside cradle one two THREE (5:20) Al shouldn't point out the legal men 5 seconds before a finish like that, sorts give sit way. So is Trish's losing streak an actual angle? No one mentions last week as Victoria and Steven run away to celebrate. That's it.