Hey, James Bond looks a lot like Ahmad Rashad this week.
TV PG DV CC entertainment - Tommy talks to a mysterious shadow, but I think we're supposed to be thinking it's Goldberg (or Nathan Jones or someone bald): "I've been in this business a long time. One thing I've always been able to spot is talent. There's no reason why you're not a champion here. You're the future of this company. The only thing you lack is confidence. Well think about this - everyone knows I'm hardcore. Everyone's seem me get Extreme. But I'm the first to admit, tonight I need help. I've come to you to be my partner! I'll see you out there." Tommy walks away, and we start to pan over to see the person (and catch a swinging arm), but it's off to - open fireworks yell scream cry
TONIGHT: Scott Steiner (w/Stacy Kiebler) vs Lance Storm
TONIGHT: Jazz (w/Theodore R. Long, c) vs Miss Jackie for the Women's Championship
Three Minute Warning (744 pounds, w/o Rico) vs Tommy Dreamer (Yonkers, NY, 252 pounds) and Maven (Charlottesville, WV, 235 pounds) - Good thing they kept the Rico free entrance video around. Your announcers are Al and Coach, who would like to blow of Heat if it got them a moment sooner to RAW. Al: "FINALLY, we go back to San Diego. Someone would say that tomorrow night's going to be a GREAT night. Or you might say it's going to be an ELECTRIFYING evening. Can you smell it? Oh, ew, Coach!" Coach confirms that the Rock will be on RAW tomorrow. Ah, they're getting this out of the way early - probably a good thing. Coach: "My question is this: who is Tommy Dreamer's mystery partner? And my other question is why have you and Tommy been in the same closet today?" Al: "Well, it was dark and roomy..." Wait a minute, Maven is Goldberg's (shadow)? That kinda thing could cause an alternative universe to implode on itself. Coach says "Maven has had a lot of issues with 3MW" and I guess you could make a case but just saying it probably just doesn't work. Al and Coach get to the easy "Rico isn't with them anymore, how will they react" story - they wonder what Rico's future plans are without hinting anything in particular. Dreamer and Jamal start - Tommy with a headlock, shot into the ropes, back with a shoulderblock and down goes Tommy. Tommy gets the idea that they want Maven - Maven wants in at any rate, so here we go. Wait, Maven wants Jamal. Apparently there a Jamal/Maven issue. Let's just go with it. Jamal looks at crowd, then catches Maven with a kick by surprise. Whip, shoulderblock. Talking trash to Dreamer - elbow drop but no one's home. Maven with a kip up - JAMAL with a kip up! Maven's a little surprised at that. Jamal brags to the fans while Maven tags in Dreamer. Jamal turns around just in time to take the double shoulderblock. Double drop toe hold for Rosey. Maven gets whipped by Tommy and then takes a hiptoss into a senton on Rosey. Tommy with right hands. Off the ropes no Jamal trips him up, Rosey with a spinning legdrop. In Coach's mind, not only has Maven lost weight but so has Rosey. Tag to Jamal - Jamal with the running hipcheck to Dreamer's face and pose. Stomping while we watch a replay. Tag to Rosey - double forearms to the back. Cover one two no. Snap mare, nerve hold. Tommy starts to draw from to the fans quick - elbows, to the ropes but easily pulled down by the head. Stomping by Rosey. Corner whip, Rosey charges in but Tommy's long gone - Jamal sees him going and clotheslines him. Rosey tries a running splash now, but Dreamer just brawly rolls out of the way. Can he make the tag? Tag to Jamal, tag to Maven - Maven ducks the clothesline, right, right, right, whip, reversed, head down too soon so Maven kicks it. Jamal tries a clothesline, Maven ducks it, off the ropes, running forearm. Wheel kick connects, more right hands, off the ropes, Jamal tosses him up and Maven comes down with a dropkick, Rosey on him with a forearm, corner whip, Rosey runs into a double boot. Tommy makes a blind tag as Maven goes to the second rope and connects on the bulldog. Jamal chucks Maven out of the ring, but doesn't realize Dreamer's in the ring - sleeper neckbreaker one two Rosey stomps to break it up. Rosey picks up Dreamer, and a slam. Telling Jamal to go up - Jamal takes off his shirt! PUT THE SHIRT BACK ON! Rosey spots Maven back up on the apron and charges to meet him, but Maven pulls down the top rope - out goes Rosey, and Jamal gets crotched in the process. Jamal falls back in the ring, and Dreamer is waiting for him, kick wham DDT one two THREE (4:46) Al: "OH MY GOD! HE WON!" Tommy's expression says as much. Maven too. Al and Coach say this a (Coach: "mild" Al: "MILD?") upset, but I bet Rico would figure it inevitable after his loss. Sounds like we might see more of this new team...
Backstage, Teddy is talking Jazz up for her match later tonight. Thuggin' and buggin' is said, yes.
You know, if there was a market for annoying network commercials, TNN/SpikeTV would have long ago cornered it.
Burger King Jackie pins Jazz last week
Jazz (c) vs Miss Jackie (Dallas, TX) for the Women's Championship - Before I even get to wonder where he is, Teddy Long is taking the microphone and pushing Fink away to do his own ring introduction. "You let me take care of this playa - I do this a lot better than you. Now let me holla at you playa. I'm gonna send a little message to Jacqueline. Last week, Jacqueline, you played Whitey's game. Well this week, Jacqueline, the Women's Championship is on the line, so it's gonna be a lot of thuggin' and buggin'. So Jacqueline, you get on out here, so you can meet the badest [bleep] on the planet." You've got to give Long a lot of credit - he managed to get this match before they got to Texas, significantly improving Jazz's chances. Jazz meets Jackie on the ramp and whips her into the apron, throw her into get this started. Al wonders what thuggin' and buggin' is, which makes me wonder where Lita is. Jazz with the running sit, one two no. Jackie with right hands, whip, powerslam one two no. Kick to the midsection, kick to the midsection, spin kick to the midsection, inside cradle one two no. Jazz has quite the wedgie already. Jazz with a forearm, whip, reversed, Jackie's clothesline misses and Jazz hits a dropkick. Forearm cover one two no. Turnbuckle smash, another turnbuckle smash. Flapjack on the top rope, and a clothesline follow. Jazz poses. Jazz off the ropes, legdrop. One two no. Slam, no Jackie slides behind one two no. Jackie blocks the clothesline, backslide one two no. Small package one (Jazz's shoulder isn't down) two no. Jazz with a punch, let' say. Jazz with a corner whip, trash talk, run right into a boot. Jackie waits in the corner, so Jazz tires a second charge - flapjacked onto the buckle. Jackie going up, but the ref is checking on Jazz. Jackie waits - and gets pushed off the top by Teddy. Teddy pleases innocent while Jazz locks on the STF. Right in the middle of the ring. Al says STF stands for "Submission to Fear" and Jackie just did (3:18) I guess that ends that.
Tonight: Scott Steiner vs Lance Storm
Next: Goldberg on the Highlight Reel
How We Got to Jericho/Goldberg (6:56)
Bad Blood: Goldberg vs Chris Jericho ("first time ever")
RAW: Chris Jericho's Highlight Reel with special guest THE ROCK
Backstage, Spike is walking. On Heat? He's up next against Chris.
Castrol GTX Nowinski perhaps has a unique take on an affirmative action of Monday
Chris Nowinksi (Cambridge, MA, 265 pounds, w/H Face Mask) vs Spike Dudley (150 pounds) - So I watched this and then my computer crashed and it wasn't really that good. Spike is in a headscissors mood, pulling out the Steamboat side headscissors takedown and a headscissors turnbuckle smash. That last one started him going after Chris' facemask, eventually pulling it off, elbowing the broken nose, and using ever method he could think of to drop Chris on his face. An inadvertent referee distraction (Spike got pulled out of the corner, but pushed Nick Patrick away to get back at Nowinksi) led to the mask shot to the face and the pin in (3:58)
Tonight: Scott Steiner vs Lance Storm
Next: Triple H vs Ric Flair?
Monday - San Diego, CA [RAW]
Friday - Nottingham, UK [Sold Out]
Saturday - Newcastle, UK [UK PPV, Sold Out]
Next Monday - Miami, FL [RAW]
Next Saturday - Tulsa, OK
Hey, if RAW is Miami next week, it wouldn't be too hard for Rock to show up then as well, would it? Hmm.
"Wake Up. Look Around. You world is a metaphor and it is about to change." Sounds like someone's a Matrix fan.
Al and Coach talk about Flair on RAW, and then we see it. What a concept. (3:22)
Bad Blood: Ric Flair vs Shawn Michaels. Ric's back to wearing his robe in these graphics. Shawn's not wearing his t-shirt anymore
Bad Blood: Triple H vs Kevin Nash in HiTC for the World Heavyweight Title
Backstage, Steiner notices the camera enough to pose for it (and Stacy.)
Scott Steiner (Detroit, MI, 275 pounds, w/Stacy Keibler) vs Lance Storm (Calgary, Alberta, Canada, 230 pounds) - Stacy puts one leg in the ring just to go back out and then back in. It's a wacky form of the hokey pokey, among other things. Steiner approves. Coach: "You talk about elevating your game-" Al: "I'm getting elevated!" Back to Last Monday where Stacy took a sliding dropkick to the face - I forget about that, and it looks like she did too. On the other hand, it hasn't happened to her yet so I guess one can't really complain. Lockup, Steiner is winning but Lance turns it around. USA chant. Right is blocked, and Scott pushes him in the corner for a chop. Right. Chop. Hiptoss out. Coach never saw Ric Flair turning, but says it showed his true colors; you'd think if they were so true he would have seen them coming but eh it's Coach. Knee lift, press slam. One press two press three. Off the ropes, knee to the head takes Lance out of the ring. Pose. Scott wants to go out but Earl Hebner blocks him off. Lance back in. Lockup, Lance with forearms and an eye rake. Corner whip, reversed, Lance kips up and out, then walks forward so Steiner can hit the belly to bell suplex on him. Lance escapes to the outside - ah, Stacy as a human shield. Lance pushes Stacy into Scott, Scott asks if she's okay, and Lance gets in a kick. Smash into the steps. Thrown in. Al wonders if it's strategically wise to bring Stacy to ringside. Lance set up - springboard clothesline one two NO. Running leg lariat one two no. Chinlock. Stacy pounds the mat to get Steiner back into it, and it gets the crowd going too. Steiner starts to elbow out, Lance gets in a forearm, and there goes the pounding. Turnbuckle smash, and Lance goes up - flying ax-handle is caught, into an overhead belly to belly suplex. Stacy tries pounding and it works again. Lance with a right, blocked, Steiner hits his own. Repeat. Whip, reversed, Lance tries a leapfrog but Steiner catches him in a powerslam. Scott yells at him to get up - Lance does and kicks. Whip is reversed into a clothesline. Bicep flex elbow drop one no he wants to do push ups. Shoulder lift, Lance slips behind and pushes him into the ropes, standing spinning heel kick is ducked, Steiner with a heel kick, Flatliner (Al: "Novacaine!" - can we agree it's someone else's move?) one two three (3:52) Scott and Stacy share a non-sexual hug. I wonder if it's Stacy's managerial sense leading to the Random Scott Steiner Finisher Of The Week.
Rock on RAW. And what will Steve Austin and Eric Bischoff compete in. That's it.