Edited for confusion's sake (and because I'm bored enough that this becomes much funnier this way): You know, I'm not disappointed that at the poll on [site name removed #1].com that I'm not winning (even though it seemed like I was set up as the face and should be winning if these things were rigged better), because [site name removed #2].com has one guy who actually knows what he's talking about and I often have no clue. But [site name removed #3] being ahead of me, that's a crime against nature - I feel a little part of me die every time I see that number. Maybe I should [insulting comment removed] enough so people stop questioning things and believe I'm always right.
TV PG L entertainment Bischoff/Austin at No Way Out and Rock on RAW (1:14) open fireworks
Rico (Las Vegas, NV, 223 pounds) vs Maven (Charlottesville, WV, 235 pounds) - Coach is not allowed to sing before WrestleMania. Oh, your announcers are Lita and Coach who are happy to be back on MTV (for the next eight weeks or so). Coach's themes of the night: Rock and Austin on RAW Monday, who will be part of Eric's "Welcoming Committee". Maven forgets to look at the announcers, which makes them sad. Lockup, Maven with an armbar. Lita and Coach weird tangent: East/West Coast rivalry. Rico back into a hammerlock and into a headlock. Maven with a hammerlock. Rico reverses, Maven with a snap mare to escape. Maven holds his arm but is angry - Rico chest bumps Maven and Maven chest bumps back. Forehead to forehead yelling - Rico backs up and slaps Maven, but runs right into a Maven clothesline. Slam, slam, one two NO. Corner whip, reversed, Maven kips up, Rico catches him and pushes him to the apron. Maven gets in a shoulder, but his turnbuckle smash is blocked and Rico gets in a kick to the midsection followed by the jumping kick to the head. Maven pulling himself on the floor while the crowd gets on Rico. Rico throws Maven back in one two NO. Choke on the middle rope. Chinlock around the top rope. Rico kicks the middle rope into Maven's midsection, but we don't get a good angle of it (and to be fair, there might not have been a good angle - less than impressive move.) Swinging neckbreaker one two no. Chinlock with a knee in Maven's back. One two no. Weird tangent: people speech French in Montreal. Even in the clubs! But then, it turns out, they're not really French! They're Canadian! And speak English! Snap mare hold by Rico. Maven battling up to the Rico sucks chant. Elbows out. Maven right is ducked, Rico hits a spin kick to the midsection, and there's the step over mule kick to the head one two no. Lita notes that they've seen that before, which is like step 2 in the process of actually calling moves. European Uppercut to the back of the head, that's new. How about another one. One two no. Jawbreaker by Maven, right to the midsection, ducks a high kick and hits running forearm. Back elbow, hiptoss. Whip, wheel kick connects. One two no. Rico's clothesline is blocked, Maven hits a reverse neckbreaker one two no. Rico with a big slap, right, whip, reversed, flapjack by Maven! Maven's pumped and going top rope. Lita notes that we've seen Maven finish of people with the missile dropkick before and that's what he appears to be aiming for - and it actually hits! One two three! (5:12) Here's a replay because Maven wins don't happen all that often. Neither do Rico wins, now that I think about it.
Later, Steven Richards vs Rob Van Dam.
Later, Victoria vs Molly Holly for the Women's Championship - Molly is sweetly smiling so she must've turned back face when we weren't watching. Maybe they should have a matchup video for when she's a face (smiling) and when she's a heel (scowling) ready, so when they randomly switch her they have the appropriate video all cued up.
Wait, did MTV just air a commercial for backstage at the Grammies? That was last week! Odds are, it will not be airing right now.
Stone Cold Returns Tomorrow Night on RAW
Al Snow (Lima, OH, 246 pounds) vs Bobby Rood (NY, 217 pounds) - wow, Al Snow signs in the crown. Lita notes that Rood looks less than sure of himself. Rood has a hometown but I didn't catch it. Lockup, Al with a fireman's takedown into an armbar. Coach tells us he's just been told that Limp Bizkit will be at WrestleMania - I guess he doesn't watch SmackDown! Rood turns his way into a headscissors, Al breaks free, Al with an armdrag into an armbar. Hammerlock. Rood back elbows to try and get free, but Al ducks the third one, Rood turns himself into an overhead belly to belly suplex. Off the ropes, over, hiptoss is blocked and Al hits his own. Is that Charles Robinson with a new haircut? Makes him look younger. Weird tangent: Could Coach steal Britney Spears away from Fred Durst? Armdrag, into an armbar with shots to the chest. Armbar but Rood breaks out. with punches. Rood charges with a clothesline. Coach is still king about Britney - short knee by Rood. Kick to the ribs. Short clothe line is ducked and Al gets an inside cradle for one two. Rood with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker one two no. Bobby with shoulders to the midsection and kicks in the corner. Al battling out of the corner, but Rood cuts him off with a knee. Back elbow. Corner whip, but Al slides short and pops back up with a clothe line. Jab jab right. Double underhook - headbutts? Al looks at the fans, then reassures Rood by rubbbing his face, and then there are the headbutts. Release Northern lights suplex. clothesline, clothesline, whip, backdrop. Al's calling for it - oddly, Lita doesn't know what he's calling for and Coach did, but I still believe Lita fed him the line earlier - and there's a very painful looking Snow Plow. One two three. (3:07) I don't know that he spiked Rood on his head, but the camera switch at the last second hid it if he didn't.
Later, Steven Richards vs Rob Van Dam.
Rock rock rock you can't stop (6:14)
Later, Steven Richards vs Rob Van Dam.
Next, Victoria vs Molly Holly for the Women's Championship
Monday - Uniondale, NY
Saturday Night - Michigan State
Next Sunday - Dayton, OH
Next Monday - Cleveland, OH
Next Friday - Moline, IL
Next Saturday - Lincoln, NB
Lugz HBK save of Monday
Victoria (w/Steven Richards, c) vs Molly Holly (Mobile, AL) for the Women's Championship - Victoria's outfit is all about pointing your attention to her breasts. Well more than usual. Weird Tangent: Coach has T.A.T.U's video as his screen saver. Molly has new music. And a new (better) outfit. And a hometown, which is more than we can say for Victoria. Molly makes the "I want the belt" motions on the way to the ring - I guess they're no longer friends? Lita: "Molly Holly has a new look, busting it out." Coach: "Hahahaha, did you say busting it out? That's something I would say!" Argh. Victoria's needs a knee brace that matches this outfit better - the black brace works with the green outfit, but not this cream color. I'm surprised that no one's figured out a way to make clip-on covers for the braces, like they do with cell phones. Oh yes the match Lockup, Victoria with a headlock, takedown. Molly reverses with the headscissors and Victoria has some problems getting free but does on the second twice. Molly with a headlock takedown of her own, Victoria tries to break with a hairpull, legscissors (Molly fighting it), headstand out into a backpress cover one two Victoria bridges up and out of it, Victoria tries to turn it into a backslide but Molly flips over to her feet, ducks the clothesline inside cradle one two NO. Face off - wait, Victoria's a little freaked out right now, backing off. Molly will have none of it - chop. Victoria with a right, right, corner whip, Molly leaps to the middle buckle and jumps out over Victoria - headscissors from the mat! Molly goes to follow up but gets a knee. They take a little bit longer than normal setting up a hairpull. Right by Victoria, and pulling her into a front facelock - snap suplex has seemed better. Elbow drop. Corner whip, Molly hops to the bottom buckle and out to the apron, Victoria reaches and gets a shoulder, springboard - is stopped by Steven Richards (oh yes, he's here), who drops Molly jaw first on the apron. That looked quite painful. Sliding dropkick by Victoria to contribute to the damage. Reverse neckbreaker hold, with Victoria going to one knee to crank it. Let go. Victoria (mocking) "Oh poor little Molly!" Molly tries to punch her way up, but Victoria clubs her down. Hanging vertical suplex, float over one two NO. Slam. Victoria going to the apron - slingshot somersault legdrop but Molly moves out of the way! Dropkick to the face looks mega-painful one two NO. Double leg, jacknife cover one two NO. Kick to the midsection, chop, kick, chop, whip, clothesline (Victoria taking the bump before the move got there.) Clothesline. Kick, off the ropes, jumping swinging neckbreaker one two NO. Coach: "I can't remember the last time we had a championship change on Heat!" Way to build drama there Coach. (Jerry Lynn d. Crash on 04/29/01 for the LH Title, pre-Backlash, last Heat I was at which must be a coincidence.) Molly going up - Molly Go Round? No, a cross body but Victoria side stepped so I suppose it wouldn't have mattered. There's the Widow's Peak one two three aw. (4:11) That was Molly's best match in months, though.
Later, Steven Richards vs Rob Van Dam.
Coming up next, the #1 Contenders Battle Royal
Yea, here are some clips. (3:08) Wow, Triple H seems like even more of a dork in that new matchup video.
Next, Steven Richards vs Rob Van Dam.
Burger King mistaken chokeslam of Last Sunday
Rob Van Dam (Battle Creek, MI, 235 pounds) vs Steven Richards (Philadelphia, PA, 230 pounds) - Coach: "A lot of people have said that I'm a bad rash, rubbing off on everyone else." Does Steven have new music? This would require me to pay attention. Lita says Booker was a dark horse in the battle royal - Coach: "Why does he have to be a 'dark horse'?" Moving on, Steven told Lita that only real men wear pink. Lockup, Steven with a headlock, off the ropes, shoulderblock. Celebration - but RVD sweeps the leg, cover for one. Lockup, headlock, Steven with elbows, RVD off the ropes, shoulderblock. Off the ropes, (flip) over, dropkick, spinning heel kick, standing moonsault one two NO. Steven retreats to the outside, RVD is after him and Steven pulls him out. Chop. Suplex on the floor - no, blocked, and Steven is dropped on the barricade. There's the spinning guillotine legdrop off the apron. Steven thrown back in - slingshot legdrop one two no. Steven with an eye poke, chop, YAAAAAAAsuplex is reverse into a Northern lights suplex one two no. Headlock by RVD, but Steven reverses into a neck crushing back suplex yowwww. Steven wastes no time in stomping RVD's head. Reverse neckbreaker. Steven pulls RVD up - snap mare, Iron Sheik Camel Clutch. Lita's getting pulled into Coach's vortex of suck here, it's sad to see. RVD battling up, Steven pulls him down by the hair. Reverse neckbreaker hold, lifting RVD off his feet. RVD ends up flipping over on his feet - step over heel kick. RVD with forearms, corner whip, rolling into a monkey flip. Kick, right, corner whip, reversed, RVD with a springboard kick to the chin. Suplex, RVD falling over in mid move into the cover one two no. Lita brings up old ECW history. Whip, RVD puts his head down too soon, double underhook but RVD runs him backfirst in the corner. Shoulder, shoulder, flip (almost screwing up), charging shoulder meets boots. Coach questions RVD's pointless flip, good for him. Steven charges out, right into the standing heel kick. Rolling Thunder - are we done? Yep - Five Star Frog Splash hits. One two three. (5:47) Replay of the Frog Splash.
RAW! TOMORROW! STONE COLD RETURNS - here's that song