Last week, Terri Gold won a battle royale to become the first WOW champ. Also, as we look at Lee Marshall and David McLane, we remember that Selina Majors broke her leg. Here's two replays. Here's that shot of McLane getting hit on the back swing. Dr. Marshall says her knee may be shattered.
Here's the intro - looking mostly like clips from last week.
Lana Storm vs Patti Pep - Lana's your actress wannabe, bringing with her a mirror, a makeup case, and a big ego. Here's some bad mic work. Patti Pep is a cheerleader (duh) one half of Team Spirit, and her theme song is ANNOYING. Circle, and Lana takes Patti down. Toe hold, but Patti kicks Lana off, and then does a back flip. Lockup, Lana with a headlock, taking her down to the mat. Lana off the ropes, (bad) shoulderblock. I probably shouldn't have watched that 3 Count/Filthy Animals match right before this one. Lana celebrates, off the ropes, but she's knocked down by Patti's shoulderblock. Patti with a cartwheel splash, 2 count. Patti with a whip, head down too soon, Lana leaps over and rolls her up for 2. Lana with a snap mare (takes 2 tries) and a chin lock. One arm raise, two arm raise, and Patti's up. Elbows, off the rope, back elbow. Patti with a horrible dropkick that looked like it missed. Patti with a whip, this dropkick does miss. Lana to her makeup, she's go to touch up. This is the longest 10 count ever. Lana up on the apron, and Patti pulls her in. Patti with a cartwheel - trip. Uh huh. It's not a WOW match until we get a slingshot. Patti celebrates with a backflip, as Lana reaches for something out of her makeup case. Hair spray, I guess, as she sprays Patti when she goes for another slingshot. The ref doesn't see it, Lana mocks her with a cartwheel before getting the roll up (3:08) In honor of Lance Storm Appreciation Week, I'll note that he's probably not related to Lana. Patti still can't see, and doesn't see Lana going for her mirror. There's a shot to the head, the mirror shattering on impact. Patti's knocked out (except for her hands rearranging her skirt.) Lana's going draw a star on Patti's cheek, and now she's going for scissors. Lee's very upset about Patti getting her hair cut, but before it can happen, Randi Rah Rah (Patti's partner) dropkicks Lana away. Here's a low motion replay of the spray and the mirror.
Last week, Selina was stretcher-ed out of the building. Much to my disappointment, she does not say "Why Me?" Back at the hospital, Selina's taking through the hospital (which looks like a generic office building) while David McLane (lamely) tries to get answers.
Riot vs Becky the Farmer's Daughter - Riot's a "Heavy Metal Maniac", and has a bat with her. Video package shows her beating on a car, and then the car exploding for no real reason. I don't need to explain who Becky is, but it'd be nice if the announcers would explain what's the deal with the four guys (and one stuffed pig) with her, and why they're all dancing. Riot mocks them all in the ring, for fun. But when they keep going, Riot goes for the pig. Riot hugs the pig, then sets it down on the mat - batter up! Riot clocks the pig, then kicks out of the ring, stopping the dance and making her the face in this match up. The ref wants to take the bat from Riot, and they struggle over it, allowing Becky to sneak in and hit a dropkick. There's another, as the match starts. Here's afraid, but Riot moves out of the way. That pig was a childhood gift from Becky's dad (the Farmer), but it's probably in the third row by now. Riot with a body slam, and here's a one handed cover - but she pulls Becky up at 2. Off the ropes, misses the clothesline, and Becky with a cross body for 2 count. If I acknowledge that Riot hangs out in LA clubs, will the announcers stop saying it? Becky with a headlock, and holds on. Down to the mat, and Riot leans her over into a pinning predicament, for 2. Becky with the headlock. Someone one taught these girls to stomp to make it look like it hurts. Thing is, it just looks like they're stomping for no reason. Riot trips her up, and works the leg. I think they all learned the same 3 moves. Becky kicks out just like Patti did. Riot's misses a punch, hey, that's like a wrestling move. Becky hit - well, you know the Full Nelson Drop that Bubba Ray Dudley uses? This is like a German Suplex (wristlock) version. Becky hooks Riot - that's the Farmer's Roll (looks like that Kiwi Roll that Terry Funk pulled out once, I guess.) Becky rolls her over for a pin, 2 count. Becky with a whip, Riot reverses, there's the clothesline I see every commercial. Riot taunts. Riot's dedicated to her character, I'll give here that. Like Caged Heat last week. Pull her in the middle of the ring, splash, 2 count. Riot with body slam, and walks over Becky. Riot goes to the top, we go to break.
Riot's still on the top rope when we come back, and Becky beals her off. Becky on the second rope (called the third rope by David) and then goes to the top rope. Splash off the top rope, but Riot moves. Riot's up , and walks around a bunch. Riot pulls up Becky in a bodyscissors - taunt, taunt, powerbomb. They changed camera angles right at the impact, just to make it confusing. That gets two, and Riot pulls her up. Riot with a splash, okay, that'll be three. (5:17) That's on odd finish, and the announcers go quiet for a few seconds for no reason. Riot grabs her bat and starts wining at the ref, but he takes off. Riot celebrates in the ring. Replay of the clothesline ('cause Becky flipped.)
David talks to the doctor - her knee is messed up - her ACL is probably blown. David needs it to be explained again, 'cause he's dumb - if she did tear her ACL, she's going need surgery. We'll fight on, later this show.
Julie Day talks to Slam Dunk - Julie only talks to the heels, I guess. Slam "Don't call me Slam" Dunk says that she was a great player. Julie says she wasn't allowed into the WNBA because of her attitude. Slam Dunk threatens to beat up both David McLane and Julie Day. Julie does the worse "running away in fear" ever.
David McLane talks to Terri Gold - She's happy to be champ, but she's couldn't really enjoy being champ, since Selina did get beat up outside of the ring. We'll watch that attack again. Terri says that should be taken care off - but now, she'll put up this belt against anyone who wants it. Cue Jungle Girl's music. She's got footage of her beating Terri last week. There's your challenge. Terri puts it on the line, right now. But McLane says no - he hasn't cleared the match with the athletic commission, so they can't do it without him losing his license. Uh, what? Anyway, after a lot of crowd baiting, they make the match - for next week.
Ice Cold vs Boom Boom (already in the ring) - Ice Cold has the Gangrel entrance, with Glacier's snow. Lockup, Ice old pushes her to the turnbuckle. Punches, punches, snap mare. Elbow. I'm pretty sure if I paid any attention to the announcers, my mind would have blown by now. Elbow drop, cover, 2 count. Headlock, Boom pushes her off the to corner. Corner splash, (Boom Splash) , splash, 2 count. Ice with an eye poke, rake against the 2nd rope. Boom is rammed in to the turnbuckle, no sale - and again. I guess she's Samoan. Boom with a headbutt. Headbutt. "I can tell from dealing with her, Boom has a hard head ": Boom with a headlock, but Ice Cold pushes her into the ropes, shoulderblock , Boom splash, kickout. Boom Boom with a slam. She goes to the second rope, and celebrates. Boom Boom with a bad bad dropkick, 2 count. Boom Boom with a slam, dragging her to the corner. Bonzai splash! It's called Hawaiian Squash here, and Boom Boom covers, but missed Ice Cold grabbing the ropes. "Boom Boom wins!" No, you don't - Ice Cold with a 2nd Rope axe handle, and that's it. That's the Ice Pick - some call Ray Lloyd. (4:00) Some people got free Ice Cold T-Shirts. I wonder how Rikishi feels about this.
David talks to Ice Cold: "That's Ice Cold for you - get too close and you might get frostbite."
Last week, Thug broke Selina's leg. Same package as we saw at the start of the show, for the most part.
To the hospital, as David talks to Selina. Or recaps the angle first. David ask how she feels. "It's not a secret that Thug and I've wrestled many places all of the world. It wasn't about winning the match or trying to take the belt away from me, she tried to put me out of wrestling, and she went to far, she went to far." McLane says she has torn ligaments - so, she shouldn't be around for six more months, at the very least? That's be true, if this was reality. "I've learned to deal with pain. I've been in wrestling for 13 years,- It's not about the pain in my leg, it's about he pain in my hear, because what they were doing that to me, I was out there and saw my dad's face. I'll never forget that look on his face. I'm going be back." Of course, Selina doesn't want Thug suspended, she wants revenge.
You can send messages to Selina Majors - if you're falling for this. Go to their website - I'm not typing the P.O. Box. Get well, Gorilla Monsoon!
Poison vs Randi Rah Rah - Poison's got a bottle tattooed on her back. You know Randi, and she's got even more annoying music. Poison's supposed to be a Goth. I'm thinking, she kinda doesn't look like it. At all. Randi with an arm bar, and she works it. Now it's Poison's turn to do the same moves again, turning it while throwing Randi down the mat. Randi back up, and Randi back down. We look at the crowd and the ref, because this isn't so interesting. Randi with a front flip and a kick to Poison to get out. Randi with a headlock, off the ropes, shoulderblock (awful) by Randi. Cartwheel, off the ropes - cover? That's unique, and a two count. Poison with the eye rake. Whip, off the ropes, dropkick by Randi. Randi pushes Poison into the corner, corner whip, reversed. Poison with a corner whip, Randi kips up kips up (on two tries) Poison slides under, Randi with a roll up, 2 count. Randi works the arm bar. Whip, reversed, Randi with a hipblock, blocked, Randi wit that rocker dropper like flip out, hip toss by Randi. Randi with a cover for 2. Randi with a push into the corner, corner whip, reversed. Poison with a celebration, and gets a second rope cross body from Randi for 2. Announcer s talk about Poison beating Summer (so, she's Summer now) of the Beach Patrol a couple weeks ago. She must have a "only face tag team wrestlers in a single matches" clause in her contract. Poison rolls out and hassles the announce crew. Randi celebrates in the ring. Poison back in headbutt for Randi. Poison with a body slam, and Randi's feet hit ref, cover, no count. Poison with a fireman's carry. Poison puts Randi on the top rope, punches to the midsection, sets her up for a powerbomb, but Randi with a slow rana. Randi goes up to the 2nd rope, and Lana's out to hit her with hair spray and another mirror. She must get those at the same place that Jarret gets her guitar. Lana pulls Poison on top, and that's 3. Lana's got the lipstick, to draw a star on here as well, as we see Patti Pep coming down from the entrance. We watch replays of the mirrors shots, and by the time we're back, Patti's helping Randi to the back, and Lana's no where to be seen. Creative editing.
David McLane get s phone call - he's talking to Regis Phillbin. Sure. This goes on for a minute, and serves no real point except for McLane to hype himself and WOW. And that's it.