Full Contact Fighter
Aired: 09/22/01


So like, I live in New York City, so this has been a really odd time for me. There's this armory right next to my college. Last week, that was where missing persons reports had to be filed. It was just insanity. Seeing all those people and hundreds of flyers that were being pasted on walls and lamp posts - it kinda made everything seem a lot more real to me. That all these people were desperate in their searches for their respective friend/lover/relative. Reality really did sink in. And oh boy, is reality a scary thing in itself. 

I really don't know what to do, but I guess I'll do this new Full Contact Fighter show that Meltzer's been pimping in his updates. I figure it'll be a nice little diversion from the wrestling here and all, but from what I've heard, it's basically a hype show - the likes of a MMA "Superstars" or something. Plus, it's only a 30 minute show, so that means I need to find time to put a whole bunch of HUMOR and HAPPINESS and WHATEVER in my recap in order for it to be "successful." What the hell am I talking about? Does anything really matter anymore? Do you really care? I doubt it. 

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FULL CONTACT FIGHTER! GRR! WE ARE TOUGH MEN! HAR HAR HAR!

We see a lot of punching and grappling set to music. I don't really know what kind of music, but it IS music. Somewhere along the way, we see TITO ORTIZ walk out with the Christian fireworks [the sprinklers falling down]. Looks a lot better than back in the OLD DAYS - when everyone would come out to the same music and stuff.

We're welcomed by David Amber [who is black] and Pat Miletech [who is a FIVE TIME UFC CHAMPION]. They talk about the UFC finally getting itself back on cable. We show clips of how the UFC first started, as it was one of the big success stories of the PPV universe. However, politicians became very unthrilled and with the ensuing political pressure that came from it, cable companies began backing off televising UFC events beginning in February '96. From 35 million homes to about 12 million homes [at some point in time]. And Canada totally lost any viewing of UFC pay-per-views. Since then, rules have become instituted and the competitors are now looked at as highly trained athletes. ZUFFA had just bought UFC and they helped lead to new PPV deals. Heck, we see a letter written by Steve Brenner, inDEMAND CEO and President. I know SOMEONE finds this interesting! (Guess what, it's not me.)

Back in the studio. Oh yeah, I should letcha know about the studio. It looks just about completely black. And umm, is that a torch in the background? It might just be. Amber asks Miletech about what let to the UFC getting a new deal. Miletech answers - saying that the UFC is being marketed in a totally different way [not the NO HOLDS BARRED FIGHTING IN THE CAGE way, but in a way that stresses the athletic abilities of said competitors]. There's a new edumucation. 

They hype the PPV on September 28th and this must've been taped before they found out Belfort wasn't going to be on the card. He was supposed to face Ortiz, so this puts a real damper on the card. Maybe next week, they'll let us know. 

Let's take a look at JENS PULVER. He just recently had a contest against Caol Uno. It's the first round and they've got their dukes up, but they're stalling. Both are barefoot. There's a kick and now, they're rolling on the ground. Uno has gotten on top of Pulver. The back is exposed and this is a bad thing that you should NEVER EVER DO in MMA. Uno has a single leg and is delivering jabs, as well. Pulver eventually gets back up, while Uno tries to keep some form of hold upon him. Pulver GETS OUT and this elicits a reaction from the crowd. A good one, mind you! SKIP! We see Pulver doing stuff - knees and punches. Uno retreats and we SKIP! Now, we're in Round 3. Pulver does a bunch of stuff and delivers a knee. That's all I can pick out. SKIP! We're still in round 3. Pulver delivers a quick kick. Both men are down, but they both get up. SKIP! Still in round 3. A quick leg and Uno goes down. SKIP! To Round 4. Pulver does some matwork. Pulver's crotch is on top of the back of Uno's head and he's pulling on uhh…stuff. It's weird and awkward. ANYWAY…SKIP! They're standing up, punching. Pulver gets a nice punch in and Uno just flails away, but still regains his composure. There's some grabbing until the round ends. They're both tired. Now we find out that Pulver is the new UFC bantamweight champion. 

Oh yeah, Miletech was in the footage. Amber asks Miletech about the plan that he and Pulver had concerning Uno. Miletech is the trainer, so he says that they knew how Uno likes to wear down guys, so they tried to prevent that. I'm forgetting stuff. 

COMMERCIALS! During this time, I like to flip around the channels. Excess is not a bad show, plus Trish looks a lot more comfortable than she did during that first show. YAY! Now I'm listening to Neil Young while I type! He's awesome!

By the time I come back, we're talking about Pulver and his match against Denis Hulman at the PPV. Pulver says that Hulman has a lot of disrespect for people, even people on his own team. He questions his "toughness" and notes that he probably got picked on his high school or something. We now turn to Helman, who repeats that people should be careful about what they say when they're young. Ohhhkay.

I guess they don't really like each other very much. Miletech says that there is a deep seeded hatred between them back from their high school wrestling days. 

COMMERCIALS ONCE AGAIN. I was probably watching the end of Bulldog/Bret from the Behind the Vault segment…

Oh yeah, Amber is back. We talk about Dave Menne. He's 33-5 and STILL gets no R-E-S-P-E-C-T. He gets no recognition, because he's quiet and soft spoken. And with recognition, comes respect, Menne notes. We see Pulver again - he says that if you're the one throwing up your middle finger and stuff, you're going to get recognition. Menne's a native of Minnesota - he trains away from the hoopla and attention. He says that he'll get a big win, but it'll just lead to another small-time show somewhere. Miletech says that Midwest guys don't get a lot of respect. Most of the MMA magazines feature West Coast guys. He says that Menne is comfortable in his guard and standing up. He's also PHENOMENAL and has a great chin! Pulver says that he wants to fight like him. Menne's getting a title shot, so that's great for him. Miletech says more complementary things about him. Oh yeah, Menne is facing Gil Castillo on Friday, September 28.

COMMERCIALS BLAH BLAH BLAH.

We see lots of stills from the last PRIDE show. I DON'T CARE SO WE'LL MOVE ON.

Both guys talk about how good Keith Herring must be to beat Mark Kerr, who was once really good. Miletech says that Herring's fighting in Holland has helped him. Uh huh.

See how painless this recap was? Oh, you know it was! 

Tanvir
grandhassan@yahoo.com
 


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