ROH - 06/24/06 - Chicago Ridge
by Scott Christ


So seeing as ECW went right into the ol' shitter, but I still want to try watching wrestling as I find it a great distraction and will always have a loyalty to it no matter how shitty it can get, I decided to go to Ring of Honor. Oh the fun!

We were late. As usual. And missed most of the first match. As usual. But I will, as usual, review it anyway.

SHANE HAGADORN & TRIK DAVIS v. IRISH AIRBORNE

I saw Irish Airborne when they were Lotus and Crazy J at IWA MS in Hammond back in July of 2005. They lost to Brandon Thomaselli and Matt Sydal, then Lotus lost to Tyler Black later in the night. I didn't understand their look or what they were going for, as Lotus looked like the singer from New Found Glory and had the biggest hodgepodge of blazin' tatts in recorded history, and Crazy J wasn't very crazy at all. I gathered that they were supposed to be high flyers. The first thing I did coming in was notice Trik Davis on the apron and I went, "Hey, Trik Davis!" I think he's the one that ate the pin, because Hagadorn was all like, "God I'm mad and a bad guy" after the pin. I don't remember the finishing move but people went OOH and Irish Airborne got a chant after the match, and a pretty loud one, so they must've done some cool shit. Wish I'd have seen it I guess.

JIMMY JACOBS (with Lacey) v. RODERICK STRONG

I'm a fan of both guys, Jacobs more than Roderick. As much as I like Roderick, something about him strikes me as just kinda not quite there - y'know, man?? Whatever bro. I was thinking this match was pretty OK, but after thinking about it further, I didn't like it very much at all and I was quite disappointed. I never got into it and there were a few really sloppy parts, but Jacobs is still cool. I loathe the crowd reactions in Chi Ridge to Jacobs matches, with all the huss shit. Let it go, everybody. Please. The man is great without the goddamned furry boots. Some cool backbreakers and Strong won with the stronghold.

JIMMY RAVE & CONRAD KENNEDY III (with Prince Nana, Daizee Haze & Alex Shelley) v. THE BRISCOE BROTHERS

I hate that the Briscoes use "Gimme Back My Bullets," because it doesn't fit them at all. They should be coming out to one of those ooh wah ah ah ah Disturbed songs or "Lose Yourself" or something, particularly now that they look, walk and act like what jacked up high school football players think pro wrestlers look, act and walk like. One of them has also adopted the Low Ki mouth agape, slightly slumped shoulders routine. I thought this match was pretty bunk, although Rave is quite great. If Shelley had been in it likely would've been fine. The Briscoes aren't BAD or anything, but they've become guys that look and wrestle like they're trying to get developmental deals. And there's nothing wrong with that, and yes I know less can be more, and no I don't just want a bunch of highspots, but when you don't particularly care for a wrestler (or two) to begin with, toning it down can have an adverse effect. CK3 was the shits but he might still grow up to be Adam Pearce. I'd have rather had Daizee in this match than CK3. The Briscoes won, of course.

DELIRIOUS v. SAMOA JOE

Joe wasn't very serious about this match right off the bat, which I found kind of weird after Delirious won the four-way the night before. Am I supposed to take it as Joe's arrogance, or Joe's indifference? Delirious can only do so much with a guy Joe's size, which I felt hampered the match some, but it was fun anyway, as most Delirious matches are. Joe won clean and rather out of nowhere with the muscle buster, but the highlight was Delirious slamming Joe after two failed attempts.

Necro Butcher came out of the crowd and waved at Joe, distracting him long enough for Claudio Castagnoli to sneak in. BJ Whitmer and Pearce made the save for Joe, and then Nate Webb hit the ring with a barbed wire crown. Then came Ace Steel. So the tag bunkhouse brawl was now a six-man.

BUNKHOUSE BRAWL
NECRO BUTCHER, CLAUDIO CASTAGNOLI & NATE WEBB v. BJ WHITMER, ADAM PEARCE & ACE STEEL

This sucked. Maybe it was just that I didn't see a lot of it, but this sucked. No one in Chicago gives a half a shit about CZW, plus every single guy in this match except for Pearce has some pretty extensive IWA Mid-South history, so the crowd didn't seem to have picked a side at all. And I want to say this, while I don't want to say it: Necro Butcher is fucking horrible when it's not a deathmatch or Samoa Joe making him look as though he's any good at all. He is awful. Enough with the goddamned fawning. I like his deathmatches more than I like most all other deathmatches, but he is not as good as either Toby Klein or Corporal Robinson. He's just not. His brawling is almost comical at times it's so bad, he has no sense of timing, and his selling is for shit. I don't like to get off on these tangents so much anymore, but Jesus Christ, if you can watch a performance like his in this match and think that's any good, you're either blind or retarded. Only Whitmer brought it, as I found it hard to get jacked for Ace Steel making the hometown hero save coming out to the fucking Blues Brothers music. OH MAN NOW IT'S TIME FOR ASS KICKING! Horns! Fuck this match. And why is Claudio back to that doofy outfit? Is that some sort of, like, thing, that I don't get -- man?? Whitmer bled (he was the only one) and lost the match. Then he valiantly climbed to his feet as the ridiculous crowd chanted for a guy that they've never liked before once in their lives. Maybe don't run this feud here, I don't know.

Also, a family of four left during this match, shaking their heads in disgust, with the mother pulling the children away as quickly as possible. I don't think it was the violence or anything, I think it was just that everyone has to start vulgar chants all the time. Not that *I* object, I just think that was probably why they left.

Intermission!! I got a soda.

PURE TITLE MATCH
HOMICIDE v. NIGEL MCGUINNESS (champion)

Good stuff. I don't know what to say about it really. It was Nigel and Homicide and it was a pretty good match. Nigel retained via some hookery and crookery, and Homicide had a fit and left through the crowd. Even Adam Pearce could not talk him down.

kenta v. AUSTIN ARIES

Ooh. Ooh hoo. KENTA is bomb. I like Aries but he was just not in the same league as KENTA, or even particularly close. Which is not to say that it was bad at all -- in fact, it was quite good, and as a live match, it was fabulous. Kick kick kick slap slap slap forearm knee jump fly, etc. 20 minutes of high octane action that lifted us OUT OF OUR SEATS! I think everyone and their mom got streamers at this show, but KENTA probably got the most if you don't count the toilet paper wars with Jimmy Rave and the crowd. KENTA won with Go To Sleep and they shook hands and all this. KENTA is outstanding. The Briscoes, babyface earlier in the evening, came out to attack Aries (dey want da belts!!), and KENTA helped Aries, plus Roderick Strong hit the ring to chase the Briscoes off. Please come back chants, can you believe it??

ROH TITLE MATCH
COLT CABANA v. BRYAN DANIELSON (champion)

Bryan Danielson is awesome. I always go into Danielson matches the same. I'm like, "Yeah, I'm not really EXCITED, but it's gonna be good." And then it's always one of the two best matches on the card, pretty much no matter what. Some minor comedy worked in with good wrestling and some superb near falls. I don't know about all that, "Danielson had the crowd really believing he'd lose!" bit that everyone does every time he wrestles someone you know he's not going to lose the belt to. I think people just want to be into the match. I never really thought Cabana was going to pin him, but I got into the near-falls. But that is all neither here nor there, I don't suppose. Danielson won with a small package in 30 minutes or so.

After the match, Colt cut this bizarre promo about how Danielson isn't a real champion because he beat him with a rollup and a small package. Huh? It was such a pussy assed crybaby bunch of whining that I couldn't believe people didn't turn on him. I mean it made literally no sense. Danielson claiming that his small package was the best, and that people often call him "Mr. Small Package" was great though. Anyway Danielson accepted a 2/3 falls rematch for the 08/26 show in Chicago Ridge, and I'm OK with that I guess. I sort of wish they'd stop pretending with Cabana in Chicago. People aren't going to not come if Colt isn't on top. If Colt wasn't there, you'd probably have the same amount of people. I get that it's "his town" now with Punk out (and Chicago was far more pro-Punk than pro-Cabana) but he's definitely less popular than Joe, and probably less popular than Homicide and Aries as well.

So that was the show.


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