PPV Report: TNA Sacrifice
08.14.05
by Scott Christ
I haven't watched TNA in a dog's age, but this card (with Joe/Styles, Shelley/Shocker and Daniels/Aries) intrigued me. I've yet to see Joe's TNA work and figured it would be a good time to start since I'm probably one of the bigger AJ Styles fans out there and that matchup seemed possible of being worth at least a third of the PPV money. 30 bucks is a lot for TNA, but it felt like a worthwhile gamble.
I had a bunch of trouble with awful Comcast ordering this show, having to call in like five times, until finally I found out that my on-screen ordering actually works again. I wish I hadn't found that out, too easy for me to spontaneously order things again.
SIMON DIAMOND, ELIX SKIPPER & DAVID YOUNG v. CHRIS SABIN, SONJAY DUTT & SHARK BOY
Well if I could've picked a few guys I absolutely did not want to see again, Simon Diamond, Shark Boy and Elix Skipper would be high on the list, and here they were, kicking it all off. An inauspicious start, I thought. Match sucked, but Sabin looked good and Young was as OK as ever, though he looks like he's jacked himself up a bit since I last saw him. Skipper is as pathetically terrible as ever, and still does that whole "I built this house" bit, which you'd think he would stop after five years of it not making him a dime. He blew his rope walk rana, which Don West blamed on slippery ropes. Assumedly that's been the problem the other 643 times as well. Shark Boy was, as usual, awful, and Diamond looks like crap these days, not that he was ever all that good. Sabin was clearly the only one with any star power at all, so at least he got the win for his team.
ALEX SHELLEY v. SHOCKER
Apparently these two have split in two prior meetings. I didn't see either of them. This is actually the first time I'd seen Shocker. There seemed to be some slight miscommunication between the two, or else a few parts that just were not very crisp, but on the whole the match was pretty damn good, with Shocker throwing in some very impressive submissons that I've never seen before because I'm culturally ignorant. Shelley was good, too, but I've seen all his stuff before. Finish came when Shelley countered la magistral and scissored the bottom rope with his legs for the pin. Good match, cool finish.
LANCE HOYT v. ABYSS (w/Jim Mitchell)
James T. Reverend is as goddamn awful as ever. All his promos are the same and this charisma he supposedly has is just annoying to me. He compares very well to Shane Douglas. They did a 37-minute video package for this match, which was just super since I was so looking forward to it and all. Hoyt is God awful. In the evolution of pro wrestling, it goes Kevin Nash -> Test -> Lance Hoyt, each with a little more athletic ability than the last, and each with a lot less charisma than the last, which is really saying something about Hoyt. TNA fans seem to like him, but this crowd is pretty awful, as they are desperately trying to be a bunch of zany characters like the ECW Arena crowds, and it just comes off way forced. I hate this era of chanting every two minutes. Some people are saying this match was a real surprise, but they're totally wrong and I'm completely right when I say it sucked, because it did. It was however long of what you'd expect from these two, with Abyss desperately attempting to carry the load, but Hoyt being unable to keep up. Hoyt's moonsault got two. Abyss hit the black hole slam and only got two, which I thought was kind of intriguing since I've never seen anyone kick out of it. Then they got super stupid, having Hoyt do a freaking Van Terminator, with Mike Tenay, as shitty as ever, creaming himself over it and asking if it was believable or not. Well, yeah, I've seen the pudgy son of Vince McMahon do it. Things like this are just sort of ruined now. Since THAT couldn't end it, Abyss hit a second black hole slam and it was mercifully over. This was damn awful.
KIP JAMES & MONTY BROWN v. KONNAN & RON KILLINGS (w/special referee BG James)
Another very long video package. If he wanted to have his last name be James, why not go by Billy James? Kip James is a really awful name. Konnan appeared truly unmotivated early, but got into it. I still kind of dig Konnan, always did, even when he was at his worst. He also looks to be in good shape and there are worse guys out there that WWE could hire, as Konnan would make a good tag partner for Rey or mouthpiece/enforcer for the Mexicools. If nothing else, the man can talk. This was as "good" as you'd expect. The only thing I liked was when Konnan threw his shoe at Billy Gunn. The 3LK team got the win after BG punched Kip in the face a lot and Konnan hit Kip with a chair, thus enforcing that the 3 Live Kru was truly together. Ron Killings did a lot of dancing afterward, he was very excited. I suppose it's a good idea to keep them together, people seem to still enjoy them to some degree and it's not like any of them have anything better to do. If Ron Killings wrestles Elix Skipper, earth may cave in.
"INTERNET DREAM MATCH"
CHRISTOPHER DANIELS v. AUSTIN ARIES
Daniels is still the X champ, but this was non-title. Apparently Aries won the internet poll over Jay Lethal, Roderick Strong and Matt Sydal. I'd have voted for Sydal, but any of them would've been nice, and it's a cool idea by TNA. Also, using these guys like Joe, Aries, etc., is a good idea. There's an audience for them. I wouldn't have ever paid for TNA again if it weren't for these two matches, basically. I'm not saying using them will make TNA a strong second promotion or anything, but they got at least 30 more dollars out of tonight than they would have otherwise, and I have to guess I'm not the only one. The match was good and about ten minutes long, which was all I was expecting so I wasn't upset by it or anything. Daniels was presented as the stronger wrestler, which is no insult on any level (although Aries is better, if you want an opinion), and they did put Aries over pretty strong with no guarantee that he'll really become a regular or anything. Daniels won clean with the angel's wings, and a pretty nasty looking angel's wings at that. Tenay and West put Aries over on commentary very well.
SEAN WALTMAN v. JERRY LYNN
Waltman has a bit of a belly. Lynn has wrestled on the indies some the past few months, but this was his in-ring TNA return after being out for a little over a year from shoulder surgery. I think it was probably eight minutes or so into this match that I noticed it hadn't fallen apart at all, and that Waltman and Lynn were both working their asses off to make this good, and the match never did fall apart, and they both kept on going, giving way more effort than I expected out of Waltman in particular. This was sort of a feel-good match; obviously, neither of these guys is going to become any sort of real impact player again, since Lynn is just too old and Waltman is just too Waltman, but it seemed like they both badly wanted this match to be good, and they went out and did it. Lynn didn't go nuts doing his RVD standoff shit, and Waltman didn't try to do too much of his karate kid crap. Instead, they mostly just wrestled, and Waltman bumped like it was 1997 again. Lynn actually got the "guy on the apron suplexes the guy in the ring to the floor," which is pretty rare, I guess because it's pretty dangerous and can easily go wrong for one or both of the guys involved. And it looked great, by which I mean Waltman hit hard and Lynn didn't back out of falling with him. Lynn got the duke on a victory roll. Surprisingly very good, the best match of the night up to this point. They did a hug and respect thing after, but then Waltman turned on him and attacked the bad shoulder. Sabin, Shark Boy and Dutt (who had watched from the ramp) made the save. The rematch probably won't be as good, only because it's not like either of these guys have any tricks up their sleeves, and next time it'll be expected to be good. But for tonight, these two has-beens almost stole the show.
TEAM CANADA v. AMERICA'S MOST WANTED & THE NATURALS (w/Jimmy Hart)
Who cares? How long have these eight guys been wrestling each other? Well I guess A1 hasn't been around that long. Or has he? Either way, who cares? I'm going to see Chris Harris at the TPI (which is, um, interesting) and I hate the rest of these schlubs, except I guess Bobby Roode isn't so bad. James Storm still tries to superkick people and still can't get his leg over their chest, usually connecting in the stomach area. The Naturals are still fourth-rate Hardy Boyz in appearance and second-rate AMW in style. And Petey Williams still sucks like nobody's business. So I didn't pay that much attention to this. I don't suppose it was horrible or anything. There was incidental miscommunication between the rival teams that joined forces to fight off the evil Canadians, leading to the Team Canada win and then a brawl afterward between AMW and the Naturals, because God knows you can't see those teams against each other enough. I read somewhere (DVDVR probably), someone saying that the Dudleys would help make tag wrestling hot again if they joined the TNA division, and I guess kinda, but these teams have already done a great job on their own of replicating the Dudleys/Hardys/E&C smoke and mirrors act of that era, where there's really three or four months worth of material that gets stretched out well past being interesting anymore.
SUPER X CUP FINAL
SAMOA JOE v. AJ STYLES
This match was great, pretty easily the best TNA match I've ever seen, but that's not all that hard since I haven't liked very many TNA matches at all. Like the Gibson/Spanky tag match at ROH the night before, this really felt like a ringer situation, but it's not like I'll argue with them using Samoa Joe to his fullest capabilities, or giving Styles someone useful to work with. This is the AJ Styles I like, the one that isn't all super goofy with his offense and is just standing in there like a man's man and dishing out punishment. Joe is no less impressive in the TNA setting than anywhere else. In fact, he's maybe even more impressive since most everyone else around him is nowhere near his league. He really makes a lot of these guys look even worse if you compare them, which probably makes it a good idea for now to have Joe in the X division, because it's going to make him look as good as possible, and eventually he'll get to make that jump up. But do you really want to see Samoa Joe v. Raven or Samoa Joe v. Jarrett? I'd rather just see Joe v. Styles. Styles took a couple of nasty bumps back-to-back early, first hitting the floor and then eating commentary table on a tope by Joe that sent him flying across the floor. It was right at that moment that it was clear that Samoa Joe was the man, maybe more than any other time I've seen him. He just looked awesome because of that. The match got "This is awesome" chants two times, which was the only time the crowd wasn't annoying with a chant. They were really into this. Chris Daniels interfered after Joe went for the muscle buster, with the ref getting bumped by Styles' leg (something I hate to death), attacking Styles. Daniels told Joe to go for the pin, but Joe turned in time to see Daniels ready to hit him with the X belt, and stared Daniels down. Styles clotheslined Daniels out of the ring and the match was back on. Styles got a flurry of forearms and punches to the stomach, which of course was just the lead-in to Joe's bitchslap parade, the muscle buster, and the chokeout for the win. Great match, easily the best of the night.
JEFF JARRETT & RHINO v. RAVEN & SABU
A total ECW-style match, as Jeff Jarrett is surrounded by former ECW champions and cashes in on the ECW craze. This compares quite favorably to Dudleys v. Dreamer/Sandman at One Night Stand just as far as the match quality goes, although the ONS match obviously had a lot more in the intangibles area, like fun or nostalgic value or whatever. This was a surprisingly entertaining match that was done well enough with Sabu looking good again and Rhino looking juiced to the gills. Raven is still awful, but Jarrett is as competently boring as ever. Maybe BJ Whitmer will grow up to be Jeff Jarrett one day. Jarrett bladed from a pizza cutter that fell out of a trash can, I shit you not. Abyss ran in to help the heels, but Jeff Hardy returned to make the save. Eventually Rhino gored Raven and pinned him, which according to their site means next month, it's Raven v. Rhino. Maybe they can duplicate their great hardcore title match. Jarrett was mad that he didn't get the pin and his title shot, but at least he won't have to wait a year! Just until Bound for Glory.
Everything on this show I expected to be good was, and the main event wasn't as bad as I figured it would be, but other than that, it was the same old TNA crap. Somewhat sadly, this was the best TNA show I've seen, and I wasn't too upset about spending 30 dollars on it.