IWA Mid-South Road Report
03/19/05 - Highland, IN
by Scott Christ
Made a late decision to head out to this show because it was (relatively) nice out and going to the wrasslin' sounded like fun.
Crowd was dead ass tiny tonight. I am bad at guessing numbers but MAYBE 150. Maybe. Sat in the bleachers because I am not some Rockefeller, but I've decided after trying the bleachers twice it will be the last time. Reasons:
1. It's uncomfortable, duh.
2. It's just too far away.
3. Seats are classy.
4. A new list follows!
Most annoying things you can do in a crowd:
1. Be the goddamn Teen Girl Squad and spend all night shouting the unfunniest
shit. If you're reading this and I know you, I don't mean you. Dudes, you aren't
funny. It's hard to be funny. Most people aren't. You are likely one of the
people that isn't.
2. "Calling the match" in a fake announcer's voice. Everyone does
this. Everyone has the same voice, usually some takeoff of Vince McMahon. Stop
it.
Anyway, the show. Ian's out and seems disappointed with the draw, who can blame him. Smallest crowd I can remember in Highland, and at least the smallest since the Abdullah the Butcher show last June I think. Chris Candido missed his flight so the Tracy Smothers-Candido match tonight is off. That sucks, that was a big reason I decided to go. But oh well. Ian promises we'll get that match sometime. Then he plugs STB6 and their debut in Midlothian, IL in April.
STEVE STONE (with Jim Fannin) v. CHANDLER MCCLURE
Fannin has decided he wants nothing to do with Chandler in the Fannin Family because Chandler won't cheat (he is a referee - it's a shit gimmick and I'm sick to death of it). So this match has the stip that if Chandler wins, he's in anyway. Take a wild guess. I got up and bought the Peterson Memorial Cup 2004 DVD at the start of this because finally the gimmick table didn't have 70 smelly dudes rubbing on each other to look at the tape titles. After some usual lame Chandler McClure match junk, Chandler cheats by hitting Stone in the dick with the rule book, rolling him up and grabbing the tights for the pin. Oh! Oh! Fannin doesn't like this. Dude I can't take McClure seriously. He's a referee and uses the FOX NFL Sunday music for his entrance. It sucks. If he'd like to stop that then I'm open-minded, but it's just impossible right now.
BRAD FREAKIN MARTIN v. BRAD BRADLEY
I think I remembered this being Roderick Strong v. Bradley, which would have given Brad a nice win to set up the rematch at STB6 in April with Samoa Joe, but for whatever reason Roderick wasn't there. Maybe it's been said somewhere, but I'm too lazy and tired to check. Martin gets some flurry offense with his crappy dropkicks and Bradley eventually lariats the shit out of him for the win.
HEY! LET'S GAB!
The music started for the third match, but instead Jim Fannin came out to talk about how he hurt his back, and read a note from his grandmother to excuse him from May's 3-team War Games match. This was quite funny. Ian Rotten came out to see about all this, and Fannin's guys surrounded the ring (Whitmer, Stone and a reluctant Chandler). Soon, Ed Chuman is out with Vito & Sal Thomaselli, Eric Priest and Silas Young, four of the five Team NWA War Games members (Tank is the absent member and the only one I could give a shit about). Fannin announced JC Bailey (who he really really really hates) as his replacement for his War Games team. Eventually, Fannin's guys (sans Chandler) and the NWA guys jump Ian, but Tracy Smothers runs in for the save and they all clear the ring.
And, because he's Tracy motherfucking Smothers, he turns on Ian and joins in the stomping. Trik Davis ran in I think, and then AXL ROTTEN came out of nowhere to make the big save. Axl is looking really heavy but...good somehow. He then lets us know that he's been clean and sober since last June, which gets an awesome standing ovation. Axl and Ian challenge Tracy and Bailey to a match later in the evening. Hey why not! Bailey ran in somewhere in there too.
NWA MIDWEST X DIVISION TITLE MATCH
JIMMY JACOBS v. MATT SYDAL (champion)
The match I really really came to see. Jacobs is just awesome since about last November and Sydal is a personal favorite though to be overly nitpicky is not quite advancing the way I'd hoped. What am I a scout? Jimmy gets mad because some people boo him since he's a heel in other towns. Jimmy's jacket is awesome. Real good match and easily the match of the night. They had an extremely good finishing sequence in this one. Don't remember a lot of details. Definite show-stealer as they beat the hell out of each other and were really cohesive together. Sydal retained. I want Jacobs main eventing, he's that good.
IWA MID-SOUTH TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH
ERIC PRIEST & SILAS YOUNG v. TRIK DAVIS & RYAN BOZ (champions)
HEY they got BELTS! Nice belts! They are WWE title ripoffs. But whatever. Belts! The belts received the biggest pop of the night. Overly long (or maybe it just felt that way) and bad match that was not in any way interesting except for that Boz got a haircut and looks a lot younger as a result. Boz RULZ. Trik is working hard and does fine here. Honestly Eric Priest and Silas Young took me out of this. Young I hear has been having fine matches, but durrh he's wearing shitty tights, durrh Priest is a real goofball! Priest is something you see once and enjoy, see twice and notice the problems, see thrice and start to get sick of, and see...fourice and hate. Hey he botched that move!!! Priest is real funny but I wish he'd take himself more seriously. I mean maybe he doesn't want to and if other people dig it then who cares what I think, but for me, my own personal enjoyment - look, the guy is bigger than everyone on the roster except maybe Brad Bradley. Anyway the champs retained when Trik rolled up Priest.
Intermission
HEY! LET'S GAB!
Jim Fannin comes out and attempts again to woo Mickie Knuckles. It does not succeed. Jim and Joey Eastman eat candy she throws on the mat. Five-second rule had surely expired.
TRACY SMOTHERS & JC BAILEY (with Jim Fannin) v. IAN & AXL ROTTEN
Fun match but nothing really great. Smothers uses the old FBI music and even busts out the FBI tights. Axl is really mobile for as big as he is right now, which was surprising. This started off with serious heat-gathering bullshit which was only marginally effective because the crowd just wasn't in it tonight. Axl showed off some decent (as I recall anyway) wrestling and Smothers bullshitted and threatened to slap us all, but his heart wasn't really in it I didn't think. Kind of lifeless but once it broke down into the pier-six brawl it was fun and totally worth all the buildup. Axl laid into Bailey a lot and seemed to be having a lot of fun, for whatever that's worth. Ian suplexed Bailey on the bleachers. I wouldn't say I'm a Bailey fan but I have some respect for him because he just kills himself. Ian pinned Bailey on an inverted brainbuster.
After the match, Fannin berates Tracy and Bailey, and Bailey and Fannin leave. Tracy gets the mic: "Ian, Axl... I'm sorry!" He goes on to say something like "Man, I've turned on you 46 times. I'm a tweener, man! Come on!" They forgive him. He's Tracy Smothers. This whole bit was pretty enjoyable, and this was the perfect ending. God bless Tracy Smothers.
HEY! LET'S GAB!
Eric Priest wants another match. Great. Get this shit:
ERIC PRIEST (with Silas Young) v. SHARK BOY
I left. I came back and saw maybe half the match. It sucked. I hate Shark Boy. So did just about everyone else it seemed. Priest won with a rollup.
VITO & SAL THOMASELLI v. B-BOY & BRANDON THOMASELLI
No, not B-Boy Thomaselli, although that would be fun. Really disappointing match as the Iron Saints suck. Another annoying thing about crowds: no one knows what a mullet IS apparently, but they ALL like to shout it. Vito Thomaselli does not have a mullet. That's not what a mullet is. "Mullet" has become buzzword for anyone with long hair, it's embarrassing. The youth of America is stupid. B-Boy was working for three here and Brandon was fine with his new boot tassels and shaved head. The other two Thomasellis stink. After this match, I don't even care if I see War Games, which I never thought I'd say. The Iron Saints won on their flying double team pendulum double stomp thing on Brandon. After the match, B-Boy and Brandon challenged the other Thomasellis to a TLC match at STB6, and Ian made it official, also offering $100 per tooth they bring him since Vito loosened four of Ian's teeth with a superkick recently. "You know how hard it is to be a fat guy and not be able to eat a cheeseburger?"
IWA MID-SOUTH HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE DOG COLLAR MATCH
BJ WHITMER (with Jim Fannin) v. DANNY DANIELS (champion)
No one cares about Whitmer. Crowd seemed sick of seeing Fannin, who was all over the show. I like Danny Daniels but don't care to see him wrestle. These two don't have good matches. And now they're connected with dog collars. They ran through 700 finishers and Daniels won with a sit-out tombstone. Real bloody but not emotional at all. Just a flat main event.
I hate to shit on these guys because this crew works as hard as any, but this was just a stinker of a show. I liked one match and enjoyed another. The rest was mediocre-to-Shark Boy. This is really the only time I've regretted spending my money on an IWA show. I don't expect it'll happen again, though. STB6 (with the eight-man high-flying tournament, Joe v. Bradley, and the TLC match announced so far) looks really good and will almost surely be a hell of a show.