WWE RAW - 06/07/04
by Scott Christ
You know, when people said last week was "good", I really couldn't believe it. I thought it was pretty bad when the best match is a four-minute throwaway that means nothing. Maybe I'm crazy.
CC - TV-14-DLV - SmackDown!/WWE Experience/Bottom Line/Velocity/Heat/Afterburn/Tough Enough - RAW - Attitude - Entertainment - Bischoff/Johnny Nitro
Union Underground and their accompanying fireworks welcome us to WWE Raw! We are LIVE on June 7, 2004, a mere six days from Bad Blood on pay-per-view, but tonight we're at the Pepsi Center in Albany, NY! TONIGHT - Batista v. Shelton Benjamin! TONIGHT - Randy Orton v. Shawn Michaels!
Oh heavens it's STACY KEIBLER in a tablecloth. "I just wanted to come out here and remind everyone - eck-SPECIALLY all you ladies out there - that your chance to enter the CORTER MILLION DOLLAR Raw Diva Search is almost over. SO, if you'd like to be a TV STAR for MILLIONS of WWE fans ALL OVER THE WORLD each week, you have to have your entry in by tomorrow night AT midnight. AND you can check out WWE.com for all information. And with that, there's another aspect of being a Diva that you'll have to learn. And that is HAVING your OWN ring entrance. SO, I would like to show you, how I do MINE." This is how she does hers - by pulling up her dress and giving the virgins a look at some panty. I really worry what will happen to my sanity during the 9-week Diva Challenge. But here comes GAIL KIM. "Stacy! You can show everyone how to be the next WWE Diva. But in my match with Lita, I'm gonna show everyone how the next woman's champion is." What? What is this? Oh god it's LITA. Oh god.
GAIL KIM (unannounced) v. LITA (Sanford, NC): Hey wait. Lita is way too happy. Your referee is Chris Kay, and don't forget that Gail Kim will meet Victoria for the women's title on Sunday! Lita starts strong with shitty rights and a clothesline in the corner. And another. Gail gets a drop toe-hold, sending Lita throat-first into the middle rope. Gail with kicks in the corner, corner whip, charge, boot up, caught, Gail does some maneuver which makes Lita fall on her ass. Gail works the leg. Ric Flair knee-smash into the mat. Cover, 2, shoulder up. Cover again, 2 again, shoulder up again. Gail twists the leg, drops, and wrenches. Dragged to the apron and Gail slams the leg over the side. Gail with leg wrapping and Lawler doesn't think he's ever seen it done that way. That's because that's the way the knee bends so it probably isn't all that effective. JR acknowledges that Gail has "very nice hair, King." Gail continues the leg work and then Lita throws an enzuigiri. Cover, 2, shoulder up. Lita with a shitty inside cradle that JR thought was "nice". That's probably JR's problem. It gets two. Kick, vertical suplex, Lita kips up and THEN remembers her leg hurts. Couldn't she have just NOT kipped up at all? Did it mean that much to her? Yeah, this match is bothering me more than usual for some reason. Gail with a trailer hitch and that's just weird. Lita won't tap out and gets the ropes because she has spirit. Lita hits a DDT - 1, 2, 3? Oh fuck you. (05'05") Lawler references Smarty Jones because he's hip to the timez.
Backstage, ERIC BISCHOFF is with JOHNNY NITRO, and then THE COACH joins. Bischoff makes Eugene v. Coach for Sunday. Johnny isn't so sure about the idea and makes fun of the face Bischoff made last week when Eugene beat Kane via DQ. Eric and Coach aren't amused. Bischoff sets up Nitro v. Eugene tonight, and references The Apprentice because Eric is hip to the timez. Coach is amused now. If you didn't gather, if Johnny doesn't win, he's fired.
Commercials: Joe Schmo 2, N-Gage QD, Subway, 1-800-CALL-ATT, The Legend of Zelda: The Four Swords, Oak Express (local), Rose Exterminator Co. (local), SpikeTV bumper
Maxim High Color for Guys presents Shelton Benjamin pinning Randy Orton last week
BATISTA (318, Washington, D.C., with The Nature Boy Ric Flair) v. SHELTON BENJAMIN (248, Orangeburg, SC): Your referee is Mike Chioda. Shelton with rights to start, Batista throws him to the corner. Chop, right, chop, right, Shelton stumbles out. Corner whip, charge, clothesline connects. Corner whip, charge, boot up, charge again, drop toe-hold by Benjamin. Shelton with a right, right, right, Batista throws a knee to the gut. Lift, Shelton slides down, off the ropes, crossbody - 1, 2, kickout. Right, whip is reversed, Shelton throws himself into perfect position for a powerslam without Batista even catching or lifting, really. That's amazing. Batista with a vertical suplex and he is in control and digging his knee into the back of Benjamin's head. Vertical suplex attempted again, Shelton slides, and he has a "rear naked choke" on, yet the referee does not break this "rear naked choke". Batista powers out and Flair slaps the mat. Jawbreaker from Benjamin. Right, right, kick, back fist, right, back fist, right, back fist, off the ropes, Shelton with a dropkick to the quad. Running kneelift, Stinger splash! Stinger splash no. 2! Flair is on the apron, Flair is off the apron. Benjamin turns around and walks into a spinebuster. Both men down and here comes RANDY ORTON. Batista gets him up for the power bomb, Shelton punches out. Shelton with the boots up in the corner, up top, flying clothesline! Cover, but Orton is distracting Chioda. Shelton with a big right to put Orton on the floor, and Batista nails a lariat on Shelton when he turns around. Sit-out power bomb! 1, 2, 3. (05'03") Are they on the drugs making Gail and Shelton lose six days before title shots? Also of note, v. Shelton Benjamin: HHH 0-2(-1?), Flair 0-1, Orton 0-1, Batista 1-0. The predictable 3-on-1 beatdown ensues.
Sunday - Shawn Michaels - Triple H - HELL in a CELL - Bad Blood
Commercials: Gatorade, Castrol GTX High Mileage, Clearasil Ultra, The Chronicles of Riddick, Snickers, TransFormers from Atari
Moments Ago, Evolution beat up Shelton Benjamin
TONIGHT - Eugene v. Johnny Nitro
Backstage, CHRIS BENOIT is taping his wrists when EDGE walks in. "So what'd Bischoff have to say?" "Well I went to his office to ask for the rematch for the tag team titles, and they told me he was 'unavailable.'" Who's they? "Unavailable. Eric Bischoff - now there's a guy who SHOULD get speared." "Yeah. Whoa - back up a second. I mean, are you, are you talking about me spearing you last week, 'cause it was accidental, I apologized all week, what more do you want?" "Don't read into it, I'm saying, I'd love to see Eric Bischoff get speared, I mean the guy deserves it, doesn't it?" "Yeah, and that being said, he's probably a guy that you could ACTUALLY make tap out to the crossface." "Okay - where we goin' here?" "Where we goin'? Last week you had Conway about to tap to the crossface -" "YEAH and if it wasn't for Sylvan he would've tapped!" Coach interrupts this argument, and alerts Benoit that Eric just made a match for him. Why was he already taping his wrists then? Why is he walking around in his tights? Anyway, Edge has the night off, and Benoit will face La Resistance in a handicap match.
Here is a shot at the beautiful Pepsi Center in beautiful Albany, NY
THE ROCK was at the MTV Movie Awards taping.
Backstage, Eric is on ze phone, and he's visited by TRISH STRATUS and TYSON TOMKO. "So, Trish, I'm so glad you stopped by - I've got great news for ya! This Sunday at Bad Blood, your biggest problem, Chris Jericho, is going to be facing your problem solver, Tyson Tomko. And just for a little added bonus tonight here on Monday Night Raw, Chris Jericho's gonna be in action - bad ribs and all." "Well tonight is irrelevant, but all I needed to know is this Sunday, the problem will be solved. And, um, speaking of problems, I do have a little one. See, the world just saw your No. 1 contender, Gail Kim, lose to - eh - Lita. I don't think I need to remind you it was me who beat Lita a few weeks ago. So what I'm trying to say, Eric, is if you give me the opportunity at Bad Blood, I'll put that championship" oh be quiet, Trish, it's KANE and he's come to rub chests with and stare at Tyson Tomko. I can just imagine the game of checkers that went awry and led to this confrontation. Kane got a face pop for coming in, too, how weird. Anyway, Kane needs to talk to Bischoff - ALONE! So the other two leave and so do we.
Commercials: Stridex Clear Cycle, 50 First Dates on DVD, Subway (2), Remington Titanium, 1-800-CALL-ATT (2), DEAR RICHARD richard, The Legend of Zelda: The Four Swords (2), Starburst, Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow, Stridex Clear Cycle (2)
CHRIS JERICHO (230, Manhasset, NY) v. A-TRAIN!!!!!!!! (350, Boston, MA): Jericho still has the DDP rib tape from the power bomb two weeks ago. Good to see A-Train in action and I'm not being funny so don't ask me if I'm being funny. Your referee is Jack Doan. Jericho is powered into the corner and A-Train attacks the ribs with knees. Corner whip, Jericho hits and walks out, scoop aaand a slam from A-Train. Jericho off the ropes, ducks a lariat, hits the forearm, hits another one, off again, pressed aaand slammed. A-Train yells and stomps and he's great. A-Train with a backbreaker and he is FIRED UP, MAN! A-Train is trying to prove he belongs on the show. Jericho with some knees to get out of the wrenching, and he's throwing kicks to the quads, which is what everyone does now. Jericho with the drop toe-hold, sending A-Train over the ropes, and he hits the Running Rope-Assisted Mike Enos. Jericho walks right into the derailer - 1, 2, kickout. A-Train stomps on the back and he's doing all he can to go out here and have the performance of his life and I am enjoying it. A-Train tries for the Train Wreck, but Jericho slides and hits the enzuigiri. Up, sweep, Walls of Jericho - tap tap tap. (02'48") A-Train was all about carrying Jericho tonight.
Smackdown Rebound feat. tits, Bradshaw and Undertaker
TRIPLE H is out now. Oh let's take a break.
YJ Stinger Catch the Bluzz Feel the Bling Million $ Contest
Commercials: YJ Stinger Catch the Bluzz Feel the Bling Million $ Contest, Full Spectrum Warrior, White Chicks, August Pohl (local), Conybeare Law Office (local)
We're back. "Let me tell ya somethin' - in a few minutes, I'm gonna cut right through this crowd, I'm gonna walk right up that stairway, I'm gonna sit in that skybox, I've got a waitress, I've got food, I've got drinks, I'm gonna have myself a grand old time. Because I'm gonna watch the beginning of the end for Shawn Michaels, because I'm gonna watch Randy Orton tear him apart. Now, I'm not a religious man, and I know that Shawn Michaels is - y'see, Shawn Michaels believes. He prays for his family and his friends. Well he had better change all that, because this Sunday, Shawn Michaels enters my world, and I have never lost a Hell in a Cell match. You wanna know why? Because unlike Shawn Michaels, I have no remorse. I have no conscience. And I will stop at nothing to end Shawn Michaels' career. Now I know that - I know that Shawn Michaels' faith is strong, but like the lyrics say, 'even Jesus Christ had a moment of doubt and pain.' And Shawn, I'm gonna be there to look in your eyes when you have yours. I really don't give a damn if I ever go to heaven, but one thing I can tell you is, this Sunday, Bad Blood, Shawn Michaels, you and I will go STRAIGHT to HELL!"
Your hosts for this evening are JIM ROSS and JERRY THE KING LAWLER, wearing a navy blue pinstriped sport coat that looks stupid on him and having freshly dyed his hair black and let it sit in a poof. Maybe the tights and ridiculous shirts were better than this.
Here is a video package of ghastly things HHH has done to Shawn Michaels
HHH enters his skybox.
Here is a video package of Shawn Michaels overcoming odds or whatever it is he does
HHH gets some sparkling juice and is fed some grapes
TONIGHT - Randy Orton v. Shawn Michaels
NEXT - Chris Benoit v. La Resistance
Commercials: 10 Things Every Guy Should Experience: NBA Finals, Castrol GTX High Mileage (2), Starburst (2), Clearasil Ultra (2), The Legend of Zelda: The Four Swords (3), 1-800-CALL-ATT (3), Method & Red, Joe Schmo 2 (2)
N-Gage QD presents La Resistance's celebration from last week
HANDICAP MATCH - LA RESISTANCE (World Tag Team Champions, combined 457) v. CHRIS BENOIT (World Heavyweight Champion, 229, now residing in Atlanta, GA): Grenier sings the Canadian National Anthem only to be cut off by Chris Benoit, a Canadian, who disapproves apparently. I wonder how that'll go over with the hypersensitive sally Canadian fans. Your referee is Chad Patton. Conway will start it out, and Benoit armdrags him right over. "USA" chant for Conway. Benoit calls Grenier in to take both of them on, but after they put him down Patton gets Grenier back out. Conway with a chop in the corner, Benoit with a right and a chop, chop, chop, chop, Conway rakes the eyes. Crawl: Benoit will be on Byte This on Thursday. "USA" chant is back up as Grenier tags in. Crawl: lots of other worthless crap. Flair's autobiography coming in July! Raw beat the Stanley Cup Finals on ABC last week. Grenier puts Benoit down with a right as I debate the merits of the crawl, or the impressiveness of beating the Stanley Cup Finals. Grenier with a hard corner whip, cover, 2, and now into a chinlock. Lawler attacks Ross' Bell's Palsy in an awkward moment. Tag to Conway and this is dead. La Resistance is getting no reaction in the States still, in a shocking development. Grenier back in with a kneelift and he posts Benoit. Into the middle of the ropes and Grenier gets a full nelson tied up in the ropes. To the floor and Conway posts Benoit shoulder-first for a second time. "USA" chant again. I should clarify, it's five people saying "USA," so maybe "chant" is a little strong. Grenier with a shoulderbreaker on the floor and they roll him back in. Conway mounts and pummels and Grenier adds some stomps. Here comes EDGE! Edge attacks and that's a DQ. (05'30") Edge cleans house with spears and the former champs are in the ring. Bischoff is out now. "Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa, hold on. Now Edge, Benoit, it's quite obvious you two want a rematch for the world tag team titles with La Resistance, I get it. And you know what, you're gonna get that match! You're gonna get that rematch, but you're not going to get it tonight. You're gonna get a rematch for the world tag team titles with La Rsusstance this Sunday at Bad Blood! But I tell you what - I'm a fair guy - you two wanna team up, take on La Resistance, you wanna do it tonight? Well damn it, I'm gonna make that happen! BUT - this thing started out as a handicap match, and BY GOD, it's gonna stay a handicap match! So let me introduce to you, La Russusstanssess tag team partner - KANE!"
Commercials: Joe Schmo 2 (3), N-Gage QD (3), Gatorade (2), 1-800-CALL-ATT (4), Ford National Truck Month (local), Comcast (local), 10 Things Every Guy Should Experience: NBA Finals (2), SpikeTV bumper
HANDICAP MATCH JOINED IN PROGRESS - KANE & LA RESISTANCE v. CHRIS BENOIT & EDGE: We're back and Conway has Edge in a chinlock. During Break, Kane sent Edge into the steps. Tag to Grenier, elbowdrop, cover, 2. Grenier works the chinlock now. Benoit yells at Edge to fight it and Kane looks on confidently. Arm drops once - twice - and stays up! Edge with an elbow, elbow, elbow, Grenier goes low and hits the ropes, then runs into the armbar faceslam thing. Both down, and the tags are made to Kane and Benoit. Benoit opens up with chops, Kane grabs for the chokeslam, Edge with the spear! Edge backdrops Conway out, Benoit cuts da t'roat! Up top - headbutt connects! Kane sits up! Benoit tries for the crossface - and he has it! Grenier breaks and Edge clotheslines him to the floor. Benoit holds onto it, actually, and Kane stands it up as tall people tend to do. Kane forgets and then remembers to sell - CHOKESLAM! 1, 2, 3. (03'55" aired) This whole thing was a mess. Also worth mentioning is Lawler giving away that there's a four-way for the women's title on Sunday involving Lita, which had yet to be announced.
NEXT - Eugene v. Johnny Nitro
Live!
06/13 - Bad Blood - Columbus, OH - Nationwide Arena
06/14 - Raw - Dayton, OH - Nutter Center
06/18 - Escape the Rules Tour - Spartanburg, SC - Spartanburg Memorial Coliseum
06/19 - Escape the Rules Tour - North Charleston, NC - North Charleston Coliseum
06/20 - Escape the Rules Tour - Ft. Myers, FL - Teco Arena
Commercials: Castrol GTX High Mileage (3), The Chronicles of Riddick (2), Clearasil Ultra (3), Starburst (3), The Legend of Zelda: The Four Swords (4), Birdman Lugz, 1-800-CALL-ATT (5), Spider-Man 2, Taco Bell
HHH, Batista and Flair are in the skybox. Moments Ago, Kane pinned Benoit. The Coach joins the broadcast team for this match.
EUGENE (242, Louisville, KY, with William Regal and Subway presents Bad Blood this Sunday) v. JOHNNY NITRO (217, Los Angeles, CA): Your referee is Jack Doan. Nitro has good tights and a build that will make the ladies swoon. Eugene extends the hand, but Nitro smacks him. Eugene reverses a whip and lands a hiptoss. Eugene gets double wristlocks and runs Nitro in a circle. Arm twist and a snapmare, Eugene flips him off the roll. Eugene with the Oklahoma roll and he rolls and rolls and rolls. Coach: "There's nothing fundamental about this right here, all it does is get you dizzy!" More rolling. More rolling. Eugene bridges it back and then drops him on his ass. Repeat. Dropkick to the back, rollup, 2. Eugene with the JYD thumps and the tail wag and the leg-lift. Nitro with a kneelift and a right. Eugene with a chop to the top of the head, chops to the throat, kneelift to the chest. Up and into the airplane spin and wow, this is a Eugene squash. Airplane spin -> Fit Finlay roll. Eugene up top - double axhandle connects! 1, 2, 3. Yep, Eugene squash. (02'47") Coach yells at Eugene as Eugene goes up the ramp, then Eugene offers him a handshake, and Coach gets backed off the stage and falls on some sound equiptment or whatever. Coach is foolish! They will fight about it on Sunday.
Sunday - Kane - Chris Benoit - the World Heavyweight Championship - Bad Blood
Commercials: Stridex Clear Cycle (3), Subway (2), Full Spectrum Warrior (2), Snickers (2), Blockbuster, The Casino, Stridex Clear Cycle (4)
Those same guys are still in the skybox. JR and the King are still at their table. The theme song for Bad Blood is "Sold Me" by Seether. Someone somewheres said something about TNA having country music commercials and that being "stereotyping the audience", but I don't know how that's worse than the WWE thinking we all like nu-metal. BAD BLOOD! Benoit & Edge v. La Resistance! Benoit v. Kane! Orton v. Benjamin! Victoria v. Lita v. Gail v. Trish! Eugene v. Coach! Jericho v. Tomko! HHH v. Michaels HELL in a CELL!
Backstage, Lita is on her telephone talking about how she just found out about the title shot on Sunday. She "misses (the person she's talking to)." Yeah, why isn't Matt Hardy at Raw. Kane is behind Lita. "I was the one who told Bischoff to put you in the women's title match. That way, after Bad Blood, we'll both be champions!" "I thought you said this was all over!" "I lied."
NON-TITLE MATCH - RANDY ORTON (Intercontinental Champion, 245, St. Louis, MO) v. commercial break
please don't forget the raw diva search.
Commercials: Remington Titanium (2), Plug & Play TV Games, Castrol GTX High Mileage (4), 50 First Dates on DVD (2), 1-800-CALL-ATT (6), The Legend of Zelda: The Four Swords (5), Joe Theismann for Colonial Penn
NON-TITLE MATCH - RANDY ORTON (Intercontinental Champion, 245, St. Louis, MO) v. SHAWN MICHAELS (San Antonio, TX): These two met about nine months ago at Unforgiven in the match of the night of a really crappy show. Your referee is Mike Chioda and Orton jumps on Michaels before Shawn can even get his shirt or chaps off. Michaels fires back and backdrops Orton, then dumps him to the floor so he can take off said shirt and chaps. HHH disapproves! Back in and Michaels is on offense first. Orton gets a boot up on a corner charge and hits a running clothesline. Cover - 1, 2, shoulder up. Orton with a right, right, european uppercut, another shot, head into the turnbuckle. Michaels reverses a whip to the corner, charge, and Orton moves away, Michaels is posted. Orton going after the shoulder and the wrist. Hard corner whip, cover, 2. Evolution looks on from the skybox. Orton telegraphs a backdrop and Michaels hits a swinging neckbreaker. Michaels with two chops, off the ropes, telegraphs himself, Orton lands a boot. Orton charges, Michaels backdrops Orton to the floor with Orton goofily throwing his legs around on the way down. On the floor now, chop, Orton down to his knees, chop, back in. Michaels off the top with Eugene's finisher and Orton gets a boot in again. Orton takes the offensive and I'm no doctor but this match sucks so far. Orton loses his grip on a corner whip, but Michaels covers quickly with rights. Off the ropes, Orton tries a dropkick, Michaels puts the brakes on. Figure-four leglock! Michaels goes after Orton's leg. Man, Michaels' arm doesn't hurt at all anymore. Vertical suplex, but then Michaels posts himself again. Michaels openly discusses the match with Orton. Michaels comes right back by sending Orton out and hitting the slingshot crossbody plancha. HHH takes off his jacket to instruct Batista to head to ringside. We go to a break (10'35")
Commercials: 10 Things Every Guy Should Experience: NBA Finals (3), Clearasil Ultra (4), Starburst (4), The Legend of Zelda: The Four Swords (6), YJ Stinger Catch the Buzz Feel the Bling Million $ Contest (2), Joe Schmo 2 (3), SpikeTV bumper
Sunday - Shawn Michaels - Triple H - HELL in a CELL - Bad Blood - HEY I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF WATCHING A MAIN EVENT MATCH HERE
Awww fuck I missed all of Orton's wacky cranking submission hold. That's all I was waiting for. Batista is ringside and Michaels gets sent out. HERE COMES BATISTA and he sends Michaels face-first into the post, allowing Shawn to bleed. You know when most people bleed, they just go, "oh heavens," unless it's like, Eddie at Judgment Day, but whenever Michaels bleeds JR loses his shit. OH MY GAWD OH MY *GAWD*. Orton does some more damage, breaks the count, and comes back to send him into the steps. Watch out, Lilian! Rolled back in (Michaels, not Lilian), cover, 2. Slugfest in the corner and Michaels is whipped across, hitting the flip. Vertical suplex, cover, 2. Orton with a dropkick and that makes his knee act up again. Chinlock. Michaels stands it up eventually and elbows out. Chops v. rights, Michaels throws rights now, whip reversed, forearm hits, both men down. 1 2 3 4 5 6 kip-up. Michaels, the proud father, runs and hugs his graduating son. Ross says "Thesz press" but you could've fooled me. Michaels up top - elbow hits! Michaels ... has to pee! Oh wait he's setting for the kick. Batista is in and the DQ is called. (05'58" - 16'33" aired) I wasn't feeling this match at all. Long post-match sees Michaels beat the crap out of Orton and Batista, take Flair down on the steps up the way, and then go after HHH in the skybox where they playfight. HELL in a CELL this SUNDAY!
This show had some major ADD and I am not getting their booking right now, but it was good to see A-Train.