WWE RAW - 05.24.04
by Scott Christ


Five years ago on the day of this show, they had a show for Owen Hart, who died, and that was sad. Amen.

I apologize to the four or five of you reading this for it being so late, but listen, I am sick as a goddamned dog over here, and only now can I even sort of maybe think of a few jokes while watching this. I also was in sort of a sickened, half-dead daze watching this on Monday night, so I don't really remember any of it, and that should be fun.

STAR TREK TNG: Okay here's the thing. I have digital cable, which means I can't record one channel and watch another, which is really, really wack because I would've wanted to record Raw and skip the part of the second hour that THE INFERNO was on. Also, this meant that since I was in bed trying not to literally die, I had to sit and watch Star Trek TNG with the timer on the VCR on because I didn't know if I'd fall asleep or not be able to get up or what. But I watched this episode. I watched part of it on mute until it looked interesting enough and I had made up enough of the story myself that I needed to see how it came together, so I guess really I probably watched the last 25 minutes. As best I could tell, it was about some futuristic space orphanage headed by some sterile dudes on some planet, where they tried to give away kids or something? And the older kid that watched over the littler kids was the dude from Stand By Me. He wasn't very cool here either. Anyway, eventually it all came around that they were sterile because of radiation or some shit, and they even referenced our ozone layer situation, which was just adorable, wouldn't you say? I hate this show. This is why I don't watch it. I do like Picard though.

CC - TV-14-DLV - SmackDown!/WWE Experience/Bottom Line/Velocity/Heat/Afterburn/Tough Enough - RAW - Attitude - Entertainment - Bischoff/Johnny Nitro

Clips from last Monday's battle royal in San Diego with kanewinningvia Shawn Michaels intereference against Triple H. kanewillfacechrisbenoitatbadblood BUT MY GOD SHAWN MICHAELS! AND TRIPLE H!

Live on May 24, 2004 from the Metro Centre in Rockford, Illinois, USA

Backstage, TRIPLE H tapes his wrists and talks to ERIC BISCHOFF. "Saw what happened - I had Kane beat - that battle royal was mine. It should be ME - goin' to Bad Blood. It should be ME - wrestlin' Chris Benoit for the world heavyweight championship. But Shawn Michaels ruined that. And that's why tonight, Eric, I need you to reinstate Shawn Michaels." "Well Triple H, you're going to get exactly what you want, because I've reinstated Shawn Michaels, and I know for a fact, he's gonna be here tonight. But there's a little bit of a catch. See, the only way Shawn Michaels would return, is if I would agree to a match between HBK and Triple H. So I've decided that's gonna happen - at Bad Blood. (booooo) But get this, Shawn Michaels -" "I don't CARE what Shawn Michaels wants! It doesn't matter, you give Shawn Michaels whatever he wants. Shawn Michaels probably won't even make it to Bad Blood, because I guarantee ya this - the second Shawn Michaels steps in this building tonight, I am gonna beat him half to death. And I'm gonna drag what's left of him out to that ring, and I'm gonna finish him off, LIVE in front of the WORLD." Bischoff steps out and HHH addresses EVOLUTION. "And where the hell were you guys last week? You had one job to do! One - job - to do! And that was make sure that I won!" Orton was out late the night before. "Hey - enough - I don't need excuses. I had better damn well see some unity from Evolution tonight. And it starts with Flair's match - tonight - with Edge." Evolution leaves, but Orton steps back to tell HHH that if HBK comes while they're gone, kick - his - ass. Triple H thinks about that - "Batista!" "Sup." "You better stay with me." "You got it."

EDGE (1/2 World Tag Team Champions, 250, Toronto, ON) v. THE NATURE BOY RIC FLAIR (Charlotte, NC, with Intercontinental Champion Randy Orton): Flair also has no weight now which makes him a woman like Shawn Michaels. JR says this is the first one-on-one meeting between Edge and Flair. Your referee is Mike Chioda. Flair struts after a quick circle and they tie it up. Edge with a side headlock, Flair off the ropes, Edge puts Flair down on the shoulderblock. Hammerlock from Edge, Flair elbows but it doesn't work, Flair gets the ropes. Edge with the clean break, collar-and-elbow, Flair with a knee to the gut and a chop. Edge sells the chop like it should be sold. You know, like it hurts. Flair takes a backdrop and a clothesline to the floor. Bodyslam on the floor by Edge. Goddamn, Flair. Back in, Edge is going to punch in the corner - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, Flair tries an inverted atomic drop, Orton grabs Edge's ankle, and Flair thumbs Edge in the eye. Chop, Edge goes down. Flair with rights and lefts and a chop in the corner. Orton yells at Edge, Flair gets a kneedrop and Orton smiles like a dork. Orton will be a guest on the Highlight Reel tonight. Flair and Edge trade chops and right hands, respectively, Edge gets a forearm shot in. Edge has taken over, Flair's out of the corner and another backdrop. Flair can't complete the flip, and all of a sudden the audio has gone to internet radio feed. Flair off the top, and he flies off into a forearm shiver - 1, 2, .........yeah, let's just call that a two and pretend Flair got a shoulder up. Edge up top, Orton interferes and pulls him down, Flair rolls Edge up - 1, 2, kickout. Orton is on the apron, but SHELTON BENJAMIN is out to take care of him. Focus on the match, Edge hits the spear on Flair - 1, 2, 3. (05'16") This wasn't Flair's best night, I guess.

Outside, Batista chases off a security guy or something, and Triple H takes his chair. They wait on Shawn Michaels to arrive. Batista is so awesome he can stand outside in his underwear.

Commercials: Taurus World Stunt Awards, Spike 52: Greatest Moments in NBA History, Lugz, Eurotrip on DVD, Starburst Sour, Castrol GTX High Mileage, Mario v. Donkey Kong, Oak Express (local), Afdent (local)

Here is a shot of the beautiful Metro Centre in beautiful Rockford

Earlier today, MR. MCMAHON taped an announcement, surrounded by many ladies. Vince announces a $250,000 Raw Diva Search. Lame.

Backstage, TODD GRISHAM stands outside of Lita's door. Replays from Last Monday when Lita gave Kane her answer. MATT HARDY arrives to knock on Lita's door. LITA arrives too. These two have a painful conversation. Lita ... loves Matt. This gets some audible boos. Lita and Matt kiss. Boy, Kane brings love back together. Lita goes to get her bag, and KANE is in her room. (whispering) "What are you doing here? I thought you said this was over!" "Oh it's over, Lita. It's - allllll - over." Lita leaves and she and Matt head out. So she boinked Kane. Being a wrestler is great, you can just leave your job anytime you want! Ask Brock Lesnar! Hahaha!

Catch the Buzz Feel the Bling Million $ Contest

Commercials: Nintendo Gamecube: Zelda, Monster.com, Starship Troopers 2 on DVD, PlayStation 2 Online, 1-800-CALL-ATT

Cheating Death, Stealing Life: The Eddie Guerrero Story - this Wednesday (TONIGHT), 9/8c on UPN

TONIGHT - Eugene & William Regal v. Garrison Cade & The Coach

Outside, Batista and Triple H are hanging out. I wonder if Batista is getting cold. They are sure that's Shawn Michaels what just arrived in that car, and they attack him. No, that's just STEVEN RICHARDS. "That's Stevie Richards, I think, King."

LA RESISTANCE (combined 477, Province of Quebec) v. ROSEY & THE HURRICANE (combined 590): This is the 503rd meeting between Rosey & Hurricane and an incarnation of La Resistance. Moolah and Mae Young were on the Tonight Show. I skipped it. Your referee is Jack Doan. Rosey and Rob Conway start, Conway has some rights for him but can't whip Rosey into the ropes. Rosey throws him to the floor. Conway back in, Hurricane tags in and comes off with a flying legdrop - 1, 2, Sylvan Grenier breaks the pin. This idiot Grenier can't even pull the ropes down right. Hurricane fell to the floor. Back in. Yes, let's have a replay of that. Hurricane is selling the knee and the La Resistances are all over it. Grenier is in with leg work. Conway in and he has leg works. Rosey claps and the crowd is in agreement. Rosey claps again, the crowd responds again. Tags to Rosey and Grenier, Rosey likes to move it move it! Slam on Grenier, great athleticism as he turns - IN MID-AIR MIND YOU - on a legdrop. Rosey rolls under a double clothesline and gets a double clothesline of his own. His very own. Hurricane tags, flying crossbody on Grenier, cover, 2. Hurricane's leg is weak and the shining wizard doesn't hit. Conway gets a cheapshot, Grenier rolls Hurricane up, 1, 2, 3. (04'05")

Outside, HHH wanders about and then is jumped by SHAWN MICHAELS. They fight until they are pulled apart.

Commercials: N-Gage, The Chronicles of Riddick, Subway, DEAR RICHARD richard, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King on DVD, Taco Bell, Underworld on DVD

Moments Ago, Hunter became the hunted - oh, oh ho

CHRIS JERICHO is in the ring for the Highlight Reel. "Welcome to RAW - IS - JERICHO!" Wow, back to that. "And this is the world-famous Highlight Reel! You know, things have been feelin' a little bit different around Raw the last couple weeks, and I think the reason for that is that Christian - the Creepy Little Bastard - has not been here. Two weeks ago in our barbaric, brutal cage match, I beat Christian so bad, that he's out, he's injured, CLB now stands for Crushed Lower Back. Oh yeah - Christian is out, he's currently recovering downtown in Chinatown, courtesy of Y2J! But the sexy beast is hot, baby! Oh yeah, hot. And speaking of hot, my guest tonight is on fire. He's on fire, he's steamin' hot, he's the intercontinental champion, he is Randy Orton!" Jericho's delivery is really off tonight. Orton makes his way out solo. "Well Randy, it seems like it's been a wild and crazy night for Evolution so far, but you know what, that still doesn't belittle the impressive list of accomplishments that you've accrued in your brief career - I mean look at you, Randy, you are the intercontinental champion. Beautiful, shiny belt around your shoulder, look at'cha. But not only that, you're the longest-reigning intercontinental champion that we've seen in the last seven years. And Randall, Randall think of the legends that you've knocked off - Shawn Michaels, Mick Foley, Sgt. Slaughter, Stone Cold Steve Austin, and most recently, Harley Race himself, one of the greatest of all-time. You took one of the greatest of all-time, Randy, and you treated him like a child. Ya spit in his face." That's how I always treat children. "Ya showed him no respect. And ya would've done a lot worse if it wasn't for one man and his name is Shelton Benjamin. And Shelton even challenged you to an intercontinental title match last week, but ya turned him down, Randy, ya turned him down. And my question to you, you've had a whole week to think about, have ya changed your mind?" "Chris - I said it last week, and I'll say it again - I am NOT putting my intercontinental championship on the line for Shelton Benjamin." "So I, uh, okay, so I think the question all the Jerichoholics want me to ask ya next is - why are ya scared of Shelton Benjamin, Randall? WHY are ya SCARED of Shelton Benjamin? Why are you ducking his challenge?" "Duck - I'm duckin' nobody, Chris, ESPECIALLY Shelton Benjamin, okay? He has not even come close to provin' himself worthy for me to defend my title against the man, and secondly -" "So what you're sayin' is Shelton is not worthy -" "Hey whoa whoa whoa, Chris, don't you cut me off!" "Oh no no, this is my show, this is what I do, assclown. I do whatever I want on the Highlight Reel. So let me ask ya this (Y2J! Y2J!) - if Shelton isn't worthy, he must be because he beat your little buddy Triple H, not once, but twice - two times, Randy! I'd have to say that Triple H is a legend in anybody's book, wouldn't ya think?" "Ya know what, Chris, you and Shelton got somethin' in common - ya BOTH got a BIG mouth." "A big mouth? Ooh - a big mouth, wow, wow. What's next, Randy? Are ya gonna call me a poopoohead? Huh?" "Chris, Chris Jericho, you better watch it - I'm RANDY ORTON. I'm a member of Evolution, I'm the intercontinental champion, I'm a LEGEND! But ya know what, Chris, I wouldn't mind putting the first-ever undisputed world champion on my long list of legends - that I KILLED." Orton with a right, Jericho with the enzugiri. Batista is in! Shelton is in! Bischoff is out! "ENOUGH! ENOUGH! Now I've got my hands FULL with the Shawn Michaels-Triple H situation, and I REFUSE to lose control of my show! So if you four wanna go at it so bad, then clear that ring! 'Cause it's gonna be Chris Jericho and Shelton Benjamin against Randy Orton and Batista, and it's gonna start RIGHT NOW!"

Commercials: 1-800-CALL-ATT (2), Mario v. Donkey Kong (2), Castrol GTX High Mileage (2), Burger King, The Chronicles of Riddick (2), checkyourself.org, Attorney Jim Boardman (local)

RANDY ORTON & BATISTA v. SHELTON BENJAMIN & CHRIS JERICHO: We join this "in progress" but it appears to just be starting. Your referee is Chad Patton. Jericho and Orton start, Jericho with a waistlock takedown and he works on the back. Orton gets away and shoves Jericho. Jericho with a chop, right, chop, into the corner, whip, reversed, charge, elbow to Orton's face, Jericho with a clothesline - 1, 2, shoulder up. Benjamin tagged in, he is "red hot" according to JR. Orton tags out to Batista. Batista is ready to go, Benjamin needs some work on being able to not smile all the time. Collar-and-elbow work and Benjamin has an armwringer. Batista puts him down, collar-and-elbow, scoop aaand a slam by Batista, elbowdrop misses, and Shelton throws rights. Batista catches him off the ropes and hits a short lariat. This crowd is dead. Orton in with terrible forearm shots to the back. Front facelock, tag back to Batista. Batista chokes with the boot, tag back to Orton. Orton goes for a hiptoss, Benjamin eventually turns it over into a neckbreaker. Tag to Jericho, this match is really off because the action isn't working with the crowd. They were clapping and clapping and waiting for the hot tag and got it and instead of popping just kept clapping and stomping. Jericho goes for the walls on Orton, but Batista is up on the apron. Springboard dropkick for Batista, faceslam on Orton, Lionsault misses, walls is locked on! Batista's in, Batista's out. Orton and Batista try to get it together on the floor, but Jericho gets a springboard crossbody onto both of them. Folks this match will continue (05'54")

Commercials: Taurus World Stunt Awards (2), Spike 52 Greatest Moments in NBA History (2), Eurotrip on DVD (2), Nintendo Gamecube: Zelda (2), Starburst Sour (2), PlayStation2 Online (2), Subway (2), Dodgeball, 10 Things Every Guy Should Experience: Indy 500

We are back live on Monday Night Raw with this tag team matchup and Batista is stomping on Jericho. TRISH STRATUS joins the commentary team. She ... says nothing. This makes the other two uncomfortable. It makes her uncomfortable. It makes me uncomfortable. It makes us all uncomfortable. Trish you suck. Way to ruin the show. Batista in the heels are working Jericho's shoulder after he was posted during the break. Batista with a hammerlock, Jericho stands it up and forearms his way out. Lawler continually tries to engage Trish in conversation, but it's not working. Orton is in with no tag, but Jericho hits with rights. Orton with a short-arm scissors. 1, 2, shoulder up. Orton makes sure to crank crank crank on the hold. "Trish have you ever heard a more obnoxious crowd than these fans here in Rockford?" "Yes." Jericho out and he hits some chops, but runs into Batista's knee to the back. Armbar takedown by Orton, tag to Batista. Orton bounces on the ropes and flips Shelton off. What a fucking weird match this is. Eventually the tag is made to Shelton and the crowd doesn't care at all. This match is dead. Dragon whip on Batista - 1, 2, kickout. Shelton tries the stinger splash, but Batista catches him. That goes nowhere and Jericho dropkicks Batista into a Shelton sunset flip - 1, 2, kickout. Spinebuster on Benjamin, 1, 2, Jericho breaks. Tag to Orton, who throws Jericho to the floor. Benjamin with a roll-up on Orton, 2, kickout. Powerslam! 1, 2, Batista breaks. Jericho clotheslines Batista to the floor, Orton tries the RKO on Jericho, shoved off and into an exploder from Shelton - 1, 2, 3! (07'44" - 13'38" aired) By far the worst of the recent Evolution tags and not even kinda good, really. Not a good match. We get a shot of the charismatic heel Trish Stratus staring toward the ring as we listen to Shelton's music. SHELTON WANTS DA BELT!

Jericho makes his way up the ramp, followed by Shelton, who heads through the curtain. Trish stares Jericho down and talks some shit, so Jericho approaches, and is jumped from behind by TYSON TOMKO. Tomko puts Jericho through the announce table with a power bomb, marking the first time that's happened since Judgment Day 2003.

Kane - Chris Benoit - the World Heavyweight Championship - Bad Blood - June 13

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Moments Ago, Tomko assaulted Jericho. During Break, Jericho was taken out on a stretcher.

Your hosts are JIM ROSS and THE KING, who have no table or even chairs now. KaBLAM! Here comes Kane. He's going to talk and I bet it's stupid. "Chris Benoit, I envy you. I envy the fact that you have the world title. I'm envious, because you live a life of normalcy. I'm envious because as - the - world - champion - you're living out your dreams. I live in nightmares, Chrissss. My world is shattered and BURNED! *I* - LIVE - IN DARKNESS - AND SHADOWS! But that's all going to change at Bad Blood. You see, Benoit, I - want - your world title. And what I want - I always get. Aha. Ahaha." KABLAM!!!! I was right, it was stupid.

Backstage, Shawn Michaels is in a room with Bischoff and Johnny Nitro. "I don't care what happens tonight, you just tell me - do I have my match at Bad Blood? Do I have it?" "Yes, you have your match." "No no no - do I have it MY way, do I have it the way I asked for it, specifically, no strings attached, that was the deal -" "YES" YAHHHHHHHHHHHH it's Triple H and they are fighting and here come referees and Bischoff ends up getting knocked around. Ahahaha, nice drinking fountain covered up by the scenery. Toward the end, Michaels starts smacking HHH's ass.

Commercials: N-Gage (2), Starburst Sour (3), PlayStation 2 Online (3), Lugz (2), Eurotrip on DVD (3), Nintendo Gamecube: Zelda (3), Click It or Ticket, Taco Bell (2), Underworld on DVD (2)

Moments Ago, the bathroom office of Eric Bischoff was destroyed in a wild brawl between boyfriends

TONIGHT - Eugene & William Regal v. Garrison Cade & The Coach

VICTORIA has new music. She's dancing. OMG.

NON-TITLE MATCH? - VICTORIA (Women's Champion, Los Angeles, CA, with Last Month on Raw, Molly choked out Victoria) v. MOLLY HOLLY (Forest Lake, MN, with Gail Kim and Raw is live next Monday from Montreal, PQ): This wig gimmick is never going to get old. I mean never. Your referee is New Dark-Haired Guy. Lawler has a great joke: "I heard she went to see the movie Shrek and the guy behind her asked her to take off her hair!" HAHAHAHA!!!!! Victoria punches Molly from the apron and Gail trips Victoria. Molly with a firewoman's carry and she drops Victoria over the wall. Raw Diva Search plugging, and Lawler makes sure to note that they aren't looking for lady wrestlers - just $250,000 to be attractive. Molly with a neck crank and Lawler says there are "technical difficulties" with WWE.com because of so many ladies logging on to win money. I checked the site when he said that, it was fine. Molly continues to dominate. This match is bad. Victoria with a shitty backslide, 2. Shitty rights, back elbow, Victoria wants people to get on up!! But they don't. Back body drop, scoop aaand a slam. SHE CAN'T HEAR YOU! That's because they're not doing anything, stupid. Gail Kim gets involved, distracting Victoria, and Molly comes back. But nevermind - Widow's Peak! Lookit dem boobies. 1, 2, 3. (04'19") Gail Kim is in now, but she too receives a widow's peak, having to be grabbed by dem boobies.

Smackdown Rebound features Eddie Guerrero having a spell or whatever

Backstage, Bischoff tells Johnny Nitro to assemble the roster for a meeting because HHH and Michaels have no respect for ANYTHING! They will respect MASS FORCE!

Raw Live: Wednesday in Dublin, Thursday in Dublin, Friday in Manchester (England), Saturday in Birmingham (England), next Monday in Montreal

Commercials: Spike 52 Greatest Moments in NBA History (3), The Chronicles of Riddick (3), Burger King (2), Onimusha 3: Demon Siege, Boost Mobile, Restore Engine Restorer, Taurus World Stunt Awards (4 - this to her is like the Oscars of the action realm)

Cheating Death, Stealing Life: The Eddie Guerrero Story - this Wednesday (TONIGHT), 9/8c on UPN

Bischoff has the roster gathered. HOLY CRAP IT'S A-TRAIN and CHUCK PALUMBO! Bischoff orders everyone to keep HHH and Michaels apart. "As a little added incentive - as General Manager - if you DON'T - if you DON'T help me get back control of this show - I will fire EACH and EVERY ONE - OF YOU!"

JR and the King sit in folding chairs at what used to be their table. Last week on Raw, Coach humiliated Eugene until the Rock broke it up. Garrison Cade ran in, but Garrison Cade was no match for Rock and Coach was no match for Eugene. Triumphant music!

Backstage, Todd is with EUGENE and WILLIAM REGAL. Eugene does the if ya smell. Todd sucks so much. Regal is brilliant. "Rock is not here tonight" gets booed. "Last week was a dream come true for him, and tonight another dream come true - he gets to team with me!" Johnny Nitro comes in to say Regal isn't cleared to wrestle, and not even to go to the ring. "You can't let that lad go out there on his own - I'm all he's got! You can't let him go out there, it's sending the sheep to the wolves! I won't bloody well stand for it!" "You bloody will stand for it! And according to Mr. Bischoff, this match is going to take place without YOU! And Eugene, if you don't find another tag partner tonight, within the next - three minutes? You're gonna experience your first-ever 2-on-1 handicap match!" Nitro leaves. "Eugene, I'm dreadfully sorry, it is all my fault. But remember what I told you last week - sometimes, you just have to be a man! Now go run along, you've got a match, go on. Go on. Go on, you can do it, go on." Did he just say ... three minutes?

Catch the Buzz Feel the Bling Million $ Contest

Commercials: Mario v. Donkey Kong (4), Monster.com (2), 1-800-CALL-ATT (3), Starburst Sour (4), Denver Mattress Co. (local), Patio Enclosures Inc. (local)

Raw Diva Search

GARRISON CADE & JONATHAN COACHMAN (combined 498) v. EUGENE (Louisville, KY) & ???: Eugene doesn't have a partner and he's scared. Eugene looks back to the entranceway, then continues his walk to the ring. He looks back again. Eugene waits and waits. And waits. "And introducing his tag team partner..." No, there's no one. Coach and Cade are circling and then OMG - THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION CHRIS BENOIT will be Eugene's partner! I had hoped for Tiejiri, to tie in Tajiri/Regal history and hopefully form a hilarious threesome. Eugene runs around with Benoit's belts and Coach trips him. Bahaha. Your referee is Mike Chioda. Benoit and Cade start in the ring and Benoit is PSYCHED for this. I don't know why. Benoit with a snap suplex, tag to Eugene. Eugene still has his jacket on and gets a headlock takeover. Eugene wrenches on the headlock, Cade stands it up and brings it to the heel corner. Eugene ducks a right from Cade, who gets really mad, and then we get a CRISS CROSS with Eugene telling Cade to look up then thumbing him in the eye. Benoit tagged in and he's just beating the shit out of Cade and I love this match? This match is awesome? Chop! Cade turns and throws forearms and knees, Benoit fires back. Clothesline in the corner from Cade, forearms across the back, and Coach tags in. Coach you are stupid. Coach with a forearm to the back. Chop! "Ohh!" Chop! "Ohhh!" Chop! "Ohhhh!" Chop! "Ohhhhh!" Eugene comes in to cut Cade off with an airplane spin. "How long's it been since ya saw an airplane spin?" I dunno, not long. They say that six or seven times a year when someone does one. Coach takes triple Germans, what the fuck. Coach is a man's man. Cut da t'roat! Cade is in, Cade is out. Benoit up top - headbutt hits! Crowd wants Eugene, they get Eugene. Benoit tells him to go up top. No, Benoit! Don't do that! Eugene nearly falls, Benoit steadies him. Benoit doing comedy is pretty interesting. Eugene with the flying headbutt! 1, 2, 3! (04'44")

Backstage, HHH, Orton and Flair are talking, here comes Shawn, the roster is holding them apart. Good job, Chuck Palumbo! MICHAAAAAAELS! MICHAAAAAAAELS!

Commercials: 10 Things Every Guy Should Experience: Indy 500 (2), Stripperella, Subway (3), PlayStation 2 Online (4), Castrol GTX High Mileage (4), Nintendo Gamecube: Zelda (4), Eurotrip on DVD (4), Miracle on DVD, Taco Bell (3), SpikeTV bumper

Subway Slam of the Week! Michaels eliminates HHH!

Time to play the game! HHH (w/cleavage) is out and he takes the microphone. "That's it! That's it! It ends - right here - right now! Shawn Michaels, I'm DONE with you! Get your ass to this ring right now!" And he does, and here we go. They're going to punch each other like a couple of little women. Flair is in, Flair goes down to sweet chin music. Randy Orton's in, he goes down. Here comes Batista, but now here comes Edge and Chris Benoit. And Shelton is out now. And they're fighting around the ring and the two that matter are left in the ring to roll around. Johnny Nitro is out, Hurricane is out, Cade is out, Conway is out, they're all getting beaten up. Bischoff calls out the troops - A-Train, Palumbo, Tomko hold HHH away, and Michaels planchas all of them. Here comes the rest of the team, including Regal, who wasn't cleared to wrestle. Why don't they just have all these guys suck these two guys' dicks? I mean, seriously. Triple H breaks loose and jumps at the group holding Michaels back. At Bad Blood it will be HHH v. Shawn Michaels - Hell in a Cell! Michaels breaks free, here we go again. At least they had the courtesy to let Benoit, Edge, Benjamin and Evolution fight to the back.

That was no Bad News/Savage pull-apart that's for sure.

This show stunk!


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