WWE RAW Bad Blood - 06/15/03
by Scott Christ
--Quick Heat recap: some video packages, some shots of the crowd arriving, some shots of the arena, some other stuff. Theodore Long, Rodney Mack, Jazz and Christopher Nowinski attempted to recruit D-Von Dudley.
--Live from the Compaq Center in Houston. Your commentators are Jim Ross and The King.
--Heat Match: Ivory (Seattle, WA) v. Molly (Maple Grove, MN): Ivory extends the hand but Molly lets everyone know she's the heel by shoving her down and dropping an elbow. Molly with a choke against the ropes to further illustrate that everyone should boo her. Molly is pretty. Ivory is a MILF. Molly with some covers. This isn't very interesting because I'm pretty sure Ivory isn't going to lose this match. Back suplex from Molly, cover, two. Molly goes for the handspring elbow but gets caught with boots to the back. Short-arm clothesline from Ivory. Another clothesline. Brainbuster - cover, two. Ivory with a weird flying crossbody, Molly rolls through. Nothing there though. X-Factor (being called the Poison Ivory, how cute) finishes it for Ivory at 03'18". This was pretty good. 1/2
--To channel 801!
--The Dudley Boyz (555, Dudleyville) v. Rodney Mack & Christopher Nowinski (with Theodore Long, 540): Mack and D-Von start it off. Right hands traded in the corner, Mack misses a charge. Clothesline and a back elbow and another clothesline from D-Von. Jawbreaker from Mack, tag to Nowinski. Nowinski and Bubba have a staredown after something or other as King mentions Nowinski's METAL face protector, which doesn't give anything away at all. Uh. Nowinski or Mack or both or maybe Bubba or all three all just screwed something up where Mack clotheslined Bubba from the apron. Bubba hammers away, Mack in. Both in the corner, AVALAAANCHE. Both heels dumped to the floor and the Dudleys take a moment to get cheered. Bubba and Nowinski back in again. D-Von tagged, Bubba hits a BIG SPLASH, D-Von covers, two count. Mack gets nailed on the apron, Nowinski takes advantage of the situation. Boot up in the corner. "Harvard sucks!" chant. D-Von gets crotched on the ringpost and Nowinski drops an elbow. Tag to Mack. JR says Theodore Long is a cross between Johnnie Cochrane and Al Sharpton. Because he's black. Tag to Nowinski. Nowinski misses a goofy flying elbow, crowd stomping for the hot tag, and they get it. Bubba throws his weight around and kills everyone. Mack dumped to the floor, side suplex on Nowinski, two count. Bubba Bomb - blocked by Nowinski's headbutts. Boot up in the corner, Bubba to the second rope, crossbody. One, Mack breaks the pin, D-Von in and nails Mack. Those two go to the floor. Nowinski takes his mask off and swings, but Bubba ducks. Flip flop n' fly! Mack sneaks in - Blackout! Bubba gets out, Nowinski sent out. WAZZUP! connects. Bubba orders D-Von to get the tables, and Theodore Long is on the apron wondering why D-Von has to get the tables. D-Von is really thinking about it. Mack and D-Von both get sent to the floor, and Bubba turns around into a mask shot for the three count at 07'06". This was okay I guess.
--Last Monday on Raw, the Redneck Triathalon wheel landed on oral sex performed on women. Then earlier tonight, it landed on a burping contest. Terri pretended to think this was great. If another event is needed, they will spin the wheel again tonight.
--Speaking of, Terri is standing by with more on this situation. Here we go, burping contest. Making an exceedingly long, shitty story short, they have audio clips of really big burps played over them opening their mouths, and Austin wins.
--Winner Gets Stacy Keibler: Test (282, Toronto, ON) v. Scott Steiner (275, Bay City, MI): Stacy comes out third since she's the real star of the match, and stays at ringside. Test is in a real peppy mood tonight, it seems. Test stops Stacy from showing her ass to Steiner, and he responds by attacking the floor with a dive from the apron. Ahahahaha. Steiner starts strong anyway, and Test bails and wants a timeout. Test pulls Stacy in front of himself, then pushes her at Steiner and hits a forearm. Whip to the steps, Steiner hits hard. The crowd tells Test that he sucks. Whip to the corner, Test follows with a clothesline. Scoop slam, Test does some push-ups. Man what the fuck is with Test, showing some personality in this match. Sleeper locked on, Stacy pounds on the apron and Steiner is fired up enough to get out. Toss to the corner, follow in, Test elbows him down. Test heads up top, but gets caught with an overhead throw that nearly cripples Test. Two clotheslines from Steiner, then catches Test with another throw. Rights and chops from Steiner in the corner. Corner mount, ten-punch! Full-nelson slam from Test, cover, two! BOOOOOOT is ducked, clothesline ducked, Steiner with a reverse DDT for two. JR calls it a "slam." Fucking JR. Steiner goes for a snake eyes or a slam or something, but Test slips down and gets the pumphandle slam. Two again. Test goes to remove the turnbuckle, but Stacy stops him and smacks him. Steiner nearly clotheslines Stacy off the apron, but stops short. Turns around - BOOOOOOT. One, two, NO. Test goes for a chair, shoving Stacy down with it. Inside, chairshot misses, chairshot misses and bounces off the ropes to hit Test, Steiner hits his flatliner thing and that's it at 06'25". Steiner grabs her ass after the match and she seems slightly weirded out about it. This could've been worse.
--Austin and Bischoff walk around and blah blah Austin brought a tractor in case he needs it. Bischoff brought some skanks from a local strip club for the pie-eating contest. They decide that Bischoff will go first if Austin gets to pick his "flavor" of "pie."
--Intercontinental Title Match - Christian (champion, 224, Toronto, ON) v. Booker T (challenger, 256, Houston, TX): Trading of stuff to start, sped up into some Booker T offense and a side headlock to take it back down a notch. Christian goes for a suplex, but Booker holds on and gets a headlock takeover. Two count. High backdrop from Booker, two count. Hard spinebuster, two count. Christian thumbs Booker in the eye and snaps the neck and upper back on the top rope. Dragged outside now, Booker sent into the steps. Christian with a rear chinlock inside, working it like a stud. Forearms from Christian, elbow up in the corner out of a charge, and Christian heads up. Down, caught, flapjack by Booker T. Winnie the Pooh and Tigger lead a small "Let's go Christian" chant. Booker with a side suplex, two count. Oh shit, Christian-style reverse DDT from Booker, two count. Booker tries a Brisco roll-up, but Christian counters and grabs the top rope to boot. Two count. Rock Bottom from Christian! Two count. Inside cradle from Booker T, two. Booker on the apron, scissor kick! Up top, missile dropkick, cover, two, thr--NO. Sidekick from Booker, here we go. SPINAROONIE. Kick to the gut, Booker sets up for the scissor kick, and Christian rolls out to the floor, grabs his title, and heads out. Referee Jack Doan gets the mic and tells Christian that if he doesn't return by the count of 10, he will lose the match and forfeit the title. I didn't know the referee had the authority to do that. Christian rolls through, dropping his belt in the ring, comes back in, BELT SHOT for the DQ at 07'52". Pretty good match, somewhat unfortunate but smart finish. 1/2
--Here is Kevin Nash putting some tape on.
--The King is in the ring and this is the vagina eating contest and Austin brings up the "mature women" thing and oh ho ho it is MAE YOUNG. Hahaha!!!! And she takes her skirt off and has a thong on and gives Bischoff a bronco buster. Austin stuns Mae Young which would be cool if this wasn't such a bunch of worthless crap. Bischoff wins via forfeit, tied at 1.
--Vengeance commercial featuring Kurt Angle, king of awesome.
--The Coach interviews La Resistance. They hate Texas. They dedicate their match to France and its president. That's cool.
--World Tag Team Title Match - La Resistance (challengers, 507, Paris, France) v. Rob Van Dam & Kane (champions, 555): RVD and Dupree start off. Van Dam with a spinning heel kick and a moonsault crossbody for two. RVD and Kane have a moment before Van Dam goes back to work. Rollup by Van Dam, two. This seems to be going in slow motion. DDT from Dupree, two count. Grenier in now without a tag, but the ref's back was turned so that's cool. Tag to Dupree, snapmare and a chinlock. Kane gets the tag and he's laying everyone out. All two of everyone. Boot! Dump to the floor on Dupree, Grenier and Kane in. Dupree jumps in from the top and gets a chokelift+slam. Side suplex on Grenier, two count. Tilt-a-whirl slam from Kane, two count. This sucks. La Resistance does a stupid ass double-team move but Kane gets right up because it sucked so much. Kane "throws" RVD from the top into a sidekick after the tag. RVD and Dupree legal, Kane and Grenier fight on the floor. Everyone but RVD is on the floor, and here comes Van Dam. But OH SHIT he hits just Kane! Inside, La Resistance hits the double chokeslam, and we have new tag team champions at 05'46".
--Chris Jericho (230, Winnipeg, MB) v. Goldberg (280, Atlanta, GA): Guess who the referee is. Collar-and-elbow that is so emotional that Goldberg drives Jericho through the ropes and to the floor. JR with a shoutout to MMA. Kneelift, whip, clothesline ducked, ducked again, crossbody, caught, bellow, powerslam. Noticeable boos for Goldberg. Goldberg throws Jericho around some more and there's a Y2J chant. Jericho holds onto the ropes on a whip and spits at Goldberg, who charges the corner and misses. Shove from Goldberg. Another shove. Overhead lift, and Goldberg drops Jericho into a crotching of the top rope. That's nice. On the floor, Goldberg goes for a spear, but Jericho moves and Goldberg crashes through the security wall, hurting his shoulder in the process. Jericho takes over now by working the shoulder. Jericho with an armbar and some kicks to the shoulder. Goldberg catches him with a kick, then hits a shoulderblock with the good shoulder. Jericho takes the advantage right back since Goldberg has one arm. Big hiplock throw by Goldberg, but it hurts his shoulder. Standing dropkick from Jericho after ducking a roundhouse right, off the ropes, faceslam. Lionsault! Cover, two, kickout. Goldberg blocks a bulldog, both men down. Goldberg up and set - SPEAR! They did that so well, making it look like Goldberg just couldn't get the wrap and drive because of the shoulder, so it was impact and nothing else. Jericho isn't quite dead. "Goldberg sucks" chant. Goldberg goes for the jackhammer but can't get it. LOW BLOW from Jericho. Both men down again. Walls of Jericho! Goldberg reaching - Jericho drags it back. Goldberg uses his strength to bridge up a little and twist out of the move. Set again - SPEAR with the other shoulder, which JR doesn't even acknowledge. But the King does. Jackhammer! One, two, three at 10'58". I thought this was a real good match. Jericho is brilliant. Seriously, man. Goldberg gets in Tigger's face after the match. 1/4
--Spin of the Redneck Triathalon wheel: sing-off. Hallelujah. Bischoff is happy, Austin not so much.
--Great Flair-Michaels video package.
--Ric Flair (234, Charlotte, NC) v. Shawn Michaels (217, San Antonio, TX): Man, Flair is ready to roll tonight. Chain wrestling to start and Flair wins the first go-'round. Michaels takes the second and struts and whoos. Mat wrestling to start and Flair gets the ropes. Smack from Shawn. Flair sent to the floor, and Michaels hits a slingshot crossbody. Back in now. Flair lures Shawn into the corner, kick to the nuts. Chop, punch in return. Flair drops low as Michaels goes off the ropes, and Shawn wisely stops, drops and locks on a headlock. In the corner, chops. Shawn fires back with three of his own. Corner mount, ten punch gets to about 4.5 before he comes out. Shawn avoids the atomic drop, though. Shawn's pants almost fall off. Chop block from Flair. Kneedrop to the knee follows. Chop and kicks to the knee. Flair goes for the figure four - and he's got it! Two count. Shoulders down again, and another two. Michaels gets the ropes after about a minute. More shots to the knee, but Shawn comes back with an enzuigiri. Backdrop from Shawn after some traded strikes, whip to the corner, Flair with an elbow up. Flair up top, guess what - thrown off. Tunes up the band - sweet chin music, blocked, inside cradle from Shawn! One, two, kickout! Shawn with the figure four! Haha Flair pokes him in the eye to get out. Earl Hebner gets mashed in the corner, rollup from Shawn, two, reversed by Flair, two. Now both of their asses are halfway hanging out. Flair flip! Flair up top again, Shawn catches him with a forearm. Or maybe just an arm. JR says the match is "wrestling-paced." Both men up, superplex by Michaels. Shawn rolls outside and pulls a table from under the ring and sets it up on the floor. Flair catches Shawn coming in and looks for a suplex to the floor and through the table, but it's blocked and both men go to the floor instead. Flair's head rammed into the steps, and now he's on the table. HEY THERE'S RANDY ORTON but he gets superkicked and takes a real hard bump. Michaels up top - TURNS IN MID-AIR WITH A SPLASH THROUGH THE TABLE! Jesus. Back in slow, Shawn drapes an arm, two count. Flair mule kicks Michaels AND Hebner at the same time. Flair up, WHOOOOO! Michaels alive now, backdrop, forearm smash, KIP-UP. Scoop aaaand a slam. Michaels up top - flying elbow! Shawn tunes up the band again - SWEET CHIN MUSIC! RANDY ORTON HITS HIM WITH A CHAIR! Orton puts Flair on top - three count at 14'15". What a shitty finish. 1/2
--Redneck Triathalon: Bischoff comes out and lip synchs his music, but Austin stops that, and makes him do it for real, and he does, and it's bad, so Austin's like "this sucks," and spins the wheel, and it's a HOG PEN FUN! or whatever, and Austin stuns Bischoff and throws him in the pig shit over by the entrance ramp. That's great. Austin wins 2-1. The less ever said about this again the better.
--The cell doesn't even come down all the way, and they don't look up at the cell all majestic-like and stuff. That sucks.
--Hell in the Cell Match for the World Heavyweight Championship with special referee Mick Foley: Kevin Nash (challenger, 305, Detroit, MI) v. Triple H (champion, 265, Greenwich, CT): Oh. I'm not typing. Hmm. They are brawling a lot. And Nash is winning. Outside, HHH whipped into the cage. That's about three minutes right there. Whipped into the cage again, then he comes back into a backdrop on the floor. Back in, side suplex, two count. The side suplex is popular tonight. Elbowdrop. Elbowdrop. Two count. Nash outside, and he gets a chair from under the ring. Chair to the gut. To the back. To da left and to da right. Outside, Nash shoves a cameraman out of the way and rams HHH's back into the corner of the cell a few times. Nash grabs the steps. And throws them. But he misses. HHH comes back with right hands because heels should always come back with an exciting flurry of gutsy offense. Nash sets for the jackknife on the floor, but HHH uses the cage (see his legs hit it on the way up) and lays Nash down with a series of hard rights. There's a Toolbox (MAMMAJAMMA) in the mix now. HHH goes to use the lid (?) but that doesn't work. HHH hits him in the knee with a hammer and then bashes his head in with it, too. JR says if that doesn't end it HHH better call out the Texas Rangers but before I can make some Chan Ho Park jokes JR says he doesn't mean the baseball team. Foley takes the hammer from HHH and shoves him down, getting the first pop of the match. Nash is busted open. HHH grinds Nash's face against the cage. HHH has a screwdriver now. He tries to, uh, stab him? But Nash is like no way, Jose. HHH does manage to work Nash's cut with the screwdriver, which JR sells well. Foley takes the screwdriver and throws it. Now HHH has found a 2x4 wrapped in barbed wire. Pop #2. To the gut with the 2x4. Rights from Nash, and now it is he who has the board! To the head, and you know what that means - HHH blades like the manliest of men, as he tends to do. Uh...Nash sets the board up, barbed wire out, IN the top turnbuckle. Like over it but it's being held in there. Nash with two whips followed by clotheslines, then he wants to snake eyes HHH on the barbed wire. And he does. Cover, two, no. Nash heads out and grabs the steps he threw earlier, tossing them into the ring now. HHH grabs a wooden crate and uses it to SMASH NASH. Hahaha. Now we've got a sledgehammer. Foley grabs the sledgehammer, and here we go, HHH nails Foley with a hard right. HHH grabs the steps, and goes to slam them down on Nash, but Nash toe-holds him down and HHH's face hits the steps. Cover, two, no. The crowd actually cared which is a good sign. Nash grabs the chair, but HHH kicks his knee out again. HHH with the chair, WHAM. Down goes Nash. WHAM! DOWN GOES FOLEY! So Foley blades. For god's sake, all he did was come out of retirement to cut himself again. OH SHIT. MR. SOCKO. MANDIBLE CLAW. Low blow to get out of it! Nash with the steps, and hits both of them, Foley by accident. Foley's down but not out, and Nash has a cover. Foley can't get there though. Foley drags himself up on the ropes, with Nash trying to help him, and HHH hits Nash, who hits Foley, who hits the cage and lands on his face on the floor. Goddamn. Pedigree - blocked. JACKKNIFE POWERBOMB. ONE. TWO. THR--NO! Big pop. Both men down, Nash up first. HHH crawls for the sledgehammer, not happening. PEDIGREE. Cover, two, three at 20'59". Ugh. This was pretty good. Goddamn it.