SmackDown! House Show - 02/08/04
by James Kalyn
Recapped: 02/08/04
Saskatoon, SK
Okay, so I totally wasn't going to to go this, right? The last house shows here were $60 apiece and the first show gypped us out of an advertised cage match and the second wasn't even an hour and a half long. But then today I was all grumpy and tired and for some reason this meant I should go to wrestling. I don't know what sense that makes but whatever. It was a good show!
I got to the arena at about 1:15 and purchased the finest cheap ($40) ticket available. Second row of the upper tier, looking straight down at the ring. It was a good seat!
Before the show, I wandered around the arena, and who should be walking my way but former (?) WWE referee "Blind" Tim White. It was a shame, I thought, that I didn't have anything for him to autograph. Ten seconds after he walked past me, I realized that my ticket was still in my hand. Oh well. I didn't have a pen anyway.
I sat down in my seat just in time to stand for the national anthem. I'd guess that 3,000 people were in attendance, though that might be generous.
The announced card was as follows:
And that's it. I didn't bother checking results from the previous night's show in Regina, so what we actually got was going to be a surprise to me.
Billy Kidman v. Chuck Palumbo
As you can see, I was a bit too far away to take pictures:
However, thanks to the space-age digital imaging technology featured on such television shows as CSI, I can provide you with a much better shot:
If you look closely, you'll see my friend Dave with his wife Kerry and her brother Darcy in the third row.
Hi, guys!
Kidman hugged a "special" fan at ringside. How nice! I don't think it was one of the special people I knew, though.
Anyway, this match was pretty good. Kidman was all quick-like and Palumbo brought the power moves, pretty much like what you'd expect. The crowd was into it, chanting "Billy" while he was in Palumbo's single leg Boston crab. A guy sitting a few rows down from me suggested that we chant "Palumbo sucks" and then he laughed hysterically. That was a good one. Palumbo. Kidman teased a shooting star press, but we never saw one. Instead, the end came when Kidman landed on his feet out of a suplex attempt and pulled Palumbo back into a rollup for three. I liked this!
interview: Dawn Marie
She comes out to tell us that Saskatoon is her favourite city in the world. This gets a mixed reaction as some people are skeptical of her sincerity! She offers to do something special for us, like showing us her boobs or ass, but instead she opts for the most specialest thing of all and brings out Smackdown GM Paul Heyman. He sure is a boob! Or an ass! Bahahaha god Im awesome.
Heyman breaks the tragic news to us that John Cena will not be appearing due to a knee injury. No surprise there - Cena was the only guy in ALL the ads leading up to the show, doing some generic rap that didn't fit the music that was playing (I'm the kid with the crazy demeanor/come see John Cena/in your arena), so it's no surprise that he wouldn't make the card.
Heyman goes on to point out video cameras so that if Rey Mysterio loses the cruiserweight title match tonight, they can show it on Smackdown. His scheduled opponent is Jamie Noble, but Dommery came up with a better idea. Before we hear what that idea is, Mysterio comes out to challenge Heyman to a match. "Fat boy scared? Fat boy scared? Fat boy scared? Fat boy scaaaaaaared!" Heyman (yelling without a mic): "I'M NOT FAT AND I'M NOT SCARED!" This was pretty great. Rey and Heyman almost get into it, but Chavo Guerrero runs in to attack Rey. The cruiser title match is a triple threat, and it begins... now.
Rey Mysterio (c) v. Chavo Guerrero v. Jamie Noble (WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Match)
Rey beats down Chavo handily to start, but a 619 attempt is blocked when
Noble shows up to clothesline Rey. The two heels beat on Rey until Chavo attacks
Noble, drawing a mixed reaction. Noble alley-ooped Chavo into the corner in
a nice spot, and Rey hit a springboard bulldog on both heels in another. In
the end, Rey hit a 1238, dumped Noble to the floor, and landed a slingshot
splash on Chavo for the win. This was really good!
Ultimo Dragon v. Shannon Moore
This was a combination of speed and mat wrestling. It didn't get a great
response, but I think the crowd warmed to it during the match. Early on, Shannon
held the ropes open for Ultimo. Then he went for a handshake, but dropped
him with a clothesline. So evil! Alas, he did not pick up the win, as a Buff
Blockbuster (was this the Mooregasm?) only got two, and Ultimo was able to
hit the Asai DDT for the win. I enjoyed this!
Orlando Jordan, Lamont, & Ernest "The Cat" Miller v. Tajiri,
Akio, & Sakoda
Oh man. Of all the people I was excited to see, I think I might have been
most excited to see Lamont. Sure, Ultimo Dragon is a legend, but Lamont? That
gives me something to talk about with Tanvir! And Lamont was awesome. First,
Tajiri was shuffling around the ring on his knees to imitate Lamont, while
Tony Chimel was dancing with The Cat. Then Jordan put Tajiri in an
armbar as Lamont hopped up and down screaming TAG MEEEEEEE PLEEEEEEEEASE TAG
ME TAG TAG ME PLEEEEEASE TAAAAAG MEEEEEEEE and it was great. More awesomeness
ensued as Tajiri pulled off Lamont's afro wig, and then he put it on. The
ref tossed the wig to the side of the ring. As Chimel tried to collect it,
The Cat took a shot at him. The Cat danced and was awesome, Tajiri was awesome,
Lamont was awesome, and Jordan landed a powerslam on Sakoda(? I think) for
the win. Afterwards, there was dancing and this was fun.
The Self-Proclaimed World's Greatest Tag Team v. Matt Morgan & Rhyno
I peed! But I waited until after TWGTT established themselves as faces
by pointing out how Matt Morgan didn't like Canadian beer. "So what you're
saying, Shelton, is we have the gore and the whore?" Ahahaha you tell
him, Haas, it's the manbeast and the hosebeast. Booker T's a punk-ass sucka
and Shane McMahon's a silver spoon motherfucker!
Anyway, I'm assuming I missed a few power moves while I was peeing. I came back and saw more power moves by Morgan and Rhyno, along with a few suplexes by TWGTT. Also, Morgan got ankle locked by the ring apron and that ruled. As the ref chased Morgan from the ring, Haas dropped Rhyno with a reverse atomic drop, Benjamin hit a superkick, and Haas flipped over for the pin. After the match, Morgan yelled at Rhyno until Rhyno got real mad-like and GORE GORE GOREd Morgan.
Kurt Angle v. Hardcore Holly
Both guys cheated and got mixed reactions. The crowd chanted YOU SUCK
and then SPARK PLUGG and then HOLLY and then ANGLE. Angle's German suplex
got a nice pop. Holly countered an Angle Slam and went for the Alabama Slam
but Angle rolled through, got full nelsoned, broke free, and hit an Angle
Slam for the win. This was okay.
Intermission
I didn't know they still did this! During the break, I went to find Dave,
which involved promising to the security guy that I wasn't gonna stay on the
floor level. Dave told me to stay 'cause there was an empty seat, but I didn't
want to be a jerk to the nice security man. We talked a bit and then I went
back to my seat.
Scotty II Hotty & Rikishi (c) v. The Basham Brothers (WWE Tag Team
Championship Match)
Before the match, it was announced that the airline had lost Rikishi's wrestling
gear, but he still wanted to wrestle. So he came out in... oh man... SWEAT
PANTS. A letdown. I was hoping it would be something hilarious like a giant
wedding dress or something. Anyway, I really don't remember much of this match.
Rikishi and Scotty won, I know not how. Right at the end, Dave's wife showed
up with a ticket! Seems the girl sitting next to them had bought two tickets
but her friend couldn't go, so she gave me the unused ticket so I could sit
down at ringside! How nice. We showed up just in time to see Rikishi give
Shaniqua the stinkface:
There's something about his pants being pulled down that makes the whole thing even grosser than usual.
So yeah, my digital camera would have worked a lot better if there had been more light. But hey, now I was right near ringside, so I had a great view of all the action!
The Big Show (c) v. Bradshaw (WWE United States Championship Match)
And what action it was! Actually, this was pretty great. Show started
by shoving Bradshaw around and making Hogan poses, so Bradshaw grabbed a beer
from a ringside fan and drank it for SUPER POWERS. Now he could shove Show
around and make Hogan poses! Show tries to retaliate by getting a beer of
his own, but after he drank it, he fell on his ass and then burped into the
house mic. He tried fighting, but was all wobbly. Then Bradshaw called a time
out, announced that it was Big Show's "45th birthday," and led the
crowd in a rousing rendition of Happy Birthday. Then Lamont made his
second appearance of the evening, carrying a present for the Big Show: four
pizzas! Bradshaw offers them to Show as a present. Show, meanwhile, just had
this smirk. I don't think he knew this was gonna happen.
Anyway, so Big Show eats some pizza, but then Bradshaw is all like "maybe you shouldn't eat that pizza, 'cause you're... uh... fat" and Big Show is all like "AAAAAAAH THE CHOKESLAM" on Bradshaw who's holding pizza in one hand and the mic in the other. 1, 2, 3, best Big Show match and best Bradshaw match ever. Afterwards, Show takes another beer from a fan, revives Bradshaw, and the two cautiously trade the beer for the pizza. Bradshaw bolts for the back with the beer, while Show stuffs the pizza into his mouth and walks off. Five stars.
Main event time! No tiny teddy contest? Oh well.
Brock Lesnar (c) v. Eddie Guerrero (WWE Championship Match)
Eddie came out to the pop of the night. If this is a run-through of their PPV match, it should be pretty good. Eddie worked over Brock's knee (he seemed to have a REAL hard time hooking Brock in a figure four) while Brock attacked Eddie's ribs. Lost of mat wrestling in this one and I'm not gonna describe any of it. Eddie hit his three suplexes, but missed a frog splash. Then he countered an F5 with a tornado DDT and hit the frog splash for two. Brock clotheslined the ref (first and only ref bump of the night), then grabbed the belt and KOed Eddie for the win. Lights up, go home.
This was miles better than last year's show, and I really enjoyed it. I wouldn't be averse to attending the next one. I was hoping for an SD taping here after Backlash, but that's going to Kelowna. Hooray for Hobbes, I guess.