NWA TNA - 09/03/03
by James Kalyn
Taped: 08/20/03 & 08/27/03
Recapped: 09/06/03
Nashville, TN

Howdy do! Good ol' Scott didn't tape the show, but I, I taped the show, so here is the show!

Cheesy blue cloud graphics to open. CONFLICT. CONTROVERSY. Russo. AMW losing the tag titles. CHAOS. Jarrett. CONTROL. Erik Watts making the announcement for War Games, or I guess they're calling it Wednesday Bloody Wednesday. Weapons in the cage. Watts as referee. D'Lo asks who's down with the brown, which might just get him sued.

It's worth noting that I'm copying this show for myself (you know where I said I taped the show? I lied, my friend Dave taped the show) so I can't back up and catch stuff I missed. Here comes two hours of speed typing!

KABOOM here we go, tonight it's an eight-man X Division tournament and Wednesday Bloody Wednesday, but first...

Lazz (Cameron, North Carolina) v. Mad Mikey (244 lbs)
I'm pretty sure they said Cameron, anyway. Isn't that where Jeff Hardy is from? Lazz is basically like an ICP guy who's flamingly gay and humps stuff. Sure enough, lock up and humping by Lazz. This makes Mikey mad. Mikey goes for a takedown, and Lazz humps some more. Thesz press, humping. Into the corner, humping. Mikey goes for a hiptoss but it's blocked with a kiss. Mikey - who is wearing an awesome t-shirt with a teddy bear in a sun hat - comes back with some clotheslines and a double arm DDT for the win. Time: about two minutes. I'd call it a dud if I was all about rating matches.

Tonight: Guerrera/Nosawa, Storm/Hart, Lynn/Sabin, Shane/Kazarian. This should be awesome. And I know it will be 'cause I watched this when it aired.

Don West has a braineurysm about Wednesday Bloody Wednesday. Shirt/tie of the week: shiny blue.

Backstage, Terry Taylor chats with Dusty Rhodes. Dusty talks about other cage matches but says that War Games is the most deadly of them all. "No othur is gonna git a man's heeeeeeeeeeead bloody! No othur is gonna git a man's noooooooooose broke!" This was okay. It ends with Dusty talking about kicking Arn Anderson's ass, for reasons I'm not really sure about.

Juventud Guerrera (Mexico City, Mexico) v. Nosawa (Tokyo, Japan, 205 lbs)
This is the first Super X Cup Tournament match. Juvi with leg lariats and a plancha to start. The crowd chants "T N A" as Don West accuses them of chanting "Juice." I've not seen Nosawa before - he looks like Tajiri just lost a hair vs. hair match. And sure enough, Mike Tenay says Nosawa just lost a hair match. I'm so smart!

Lots of flipping around until Nosawa hits a knee dropkick and a Tajiri Kick Of Death for two. Tenay mentions that Nosawa is the reigning Juggalo Championshit Wrestling champion. Good for him. Juvi goes for a pumphandle facebuster which I've never seen before and looked really neat. He follows it up with a People's Elbow - neither Tenay or West call it. Nosawa comes back with some kicks, but he shows off and gets caught with a Juvi Driver and a great 450 splash for the win. Too short to be awesome (about 5 minutes), but there was nothing bad about this at all.

Terry Taylor is backstage with Father James Mitchell and his hair. He plans to make Shane Douglas take Raven's hair and Terry Taylor shakes his head sadly. Glenn Gillbberrttii shows up to remind Mitchell that tonight is War Games and they have to focus and yadda yadda.

Teddy Hart (Calgary, Alberta, Canada, 188 pounds) v. "The Wonder Kid" Jonny Storm (170 lbs, Essex, England)
Storm hits a DDT and a dropkick to start. Hart bails and takes a double springboard somersault plancha. Hart takes over with a Fujiwara armbar. Storm goes to the floor, and Hart hits an awesome Asai moonsault for the first "holy shit" chant. Back in the ring, Storm goes for a Matt Hardy Side Effect but with a flip, and it kinda rules. Storm can't follow it up, though, as he misses a moonsault. Hart comes off the top with a DDT and then off the top again with a Shooting Star Press - called a Hart Attack - for the win. Short again (about 3 minutes) but both guys were really impressive.

Sonny Siaki is the latest victim of Terry Taylor's interview rampage. I don't care what he said because I hate Sonny Siaki. Simon Diamond and Johnny Swinger get into Siaki's face, but here's my all-time favourite wrestler Shane Douglas to remind Diamond and Swinger that tonight is War Games and it's important and all that.

Chris Sabin (Detroit, MI) v. Jerry Lynn (Minneapolis, MN)
Sabin goes after Lynn with a bunch of stomps to start and Lynn fires back with clotheslines and stomps and punching. Lynn looks weird since his goatee and hair are all with the different colours. Lynn hits a sunset flip powerbomb for a two count. West says that Lynn and Sabin are almost mirror images, which is not true at all. Maybe if Sabin made devil horns with his hands. Sabin goes to the floor but sunset flips in for two. He goes for a Tomikaze but Lynn escapes and lands a TKO for two. Lynn argues with the ref, and here's Don Callis to threaten Lynn with firing. Sabin sneaks in from behind with a low kick and a roll up for the win. Three and a half minutes that weren't really worth anything.

Now it's Raven with Julio Dinero and C.M. Punk who have been confronted by Terry Taylor. I think Taylor is lonely. Poor guy. Raven challenges Douglas and Mitchell.

Frankie "The Future" Kazarian (Anaheim, CA) v. Michael Shane (San Antonio, TX)
Both of these guys were in Ultimate X, which will be shown in next week's one-cent TNA PPV. Kazarian takes the early advantage and hits a weird sitout dropkick in the corner before Shane comes back with a back suplex. Shane dominates and acts a little cocky, which West says is due to Shane getting arrogant now that he's the X division champion. Kazarian comes back with a ten count punch, though nobody counts along. Shane escapes a suplex and hits an enzuigiri for two. Shane does the HBK corner stomp - and in a bit of genius, Kazarian hears it and counters the superkick! Twenty reversals later, Kazarian ranas Shane for the pin, and the X Division champ is out of the tournament.

It's the Terry Taylor show, starring Terry Taylor! Tonight, the special guests are AJ Styles and Vince Russo. Russo pledges to protect Styles. I still think Russo is Styles' dad.

Teddy Hart (Calgary) v. Juventud Guerrera (Mexico City, Mexico)
Welcome to Round 2 of the Super X Tournament! Teddy Hart is wearing gold pants now instead of silver pants before, so I guess this begins the second set of tapings. Lockup and flipping to start, during which a sliding Hart appears to inadvertently headbutt Juvi in the cojones. Juvi comes off the ropes but gets caught in a Fujiwara armbar. Teddy goes for a Russian legsweep, which West calls "Olympic mat wrestling." Teddy Hart has some stupid hair, but he really is impressive. Juvi comes off the second rope with a headscissors and the match moves to the floor. Hart hits a rana off the apron and a moonsault off the railing. He goes up for an Asai moonsault but Juvi pulls him off the apron and hits a springboard bodyblock. Both guys move to the apron and Hart goes for a springboard, but Juvi crotches him and hits a springboard rana into the ring, but Hart kicks out. That pumphandle facebuster gets two, and Hart reverses for two more. Hart hits a belly to back piledriver and lands a twisting corkscrew senton thing for two. It's so neat that TNA actually airs a replay, and also I think Don West shit himself. Juvi goes to the floor and Hart lands his Asai moonsault but comes up selling his knee. Coming back in, Hart goes for a sunset flip but Juvi rolls through and dropkicks him in the face. Hart avoids the People's Elbow but not a Rock Bottom for two. Juvi hits a torture rack into a sitout powerbomb for two. Juvi goes for a Juvi Driver, but Hart escapes to the ropes and hits a top rope DDT for two. Hart hits his Hart Attack SSP, but hurts his knee again and can't cover. Juvi hits the Juvi Driver and climbs the ropes, but Hart kips up (what?) and climbs the ropes for a superplex. Juvi counters into a top-rope Juvi Driver for the win. This was about 10 minutes and apart from the spotty selling of the knee, this was pretty good.

Ryan Wilson and Kevin Northcutt, also known as TNA Red Shirt Security are interrogated by the interrogators. All faces are guys who crossed the line. Northcutt claims to have trained Bob Sapp. Don Callis is the ultimate authority.

Chris Sabin (Detroit, MI) v. Frankie "The Future" Kazarian (Anaheim, CA)
Kazarian with dropkicks to open. Sabin blocks the sitout dropkick and makes with some punching. Sabin hoists Kazarian for a suplex, but dumps him over the ropes instead. Here are some kicks and Kazarian hits a sunset flip over the ropes to the floor. Back in the ring, Kazarian springs off the second rope but gets caught in a German suplex and a Sabin tiger suplex gets two. West says this remind him of "the old AJ Styles/Jerry Lynn rivalry." Yeah, way back in the day. Sabin, meanwhile, hits a nice crossarm neckbreaker for two. Kazarian tries for a springboard attack, but Sabin masterfully puts his foot in the way. Kazarian comes back to hit The Wave Of The Future, but Sabin kicks out. Kazarian goes for a move out of the corner, but Sabin drops and hits an awesome enzuigiri to Kazarian, who is sitting on the top rope. Sabin hits Back To The Future for two. They fight over a superplex, and Kazarian hits an awesome one-man Spanish Fly. Kazarian goes for a victory roll, but Sabin rolls through and holds on for the win. This was pretty great, about eight minutes and fun and stuff.

Yet more Terry Taylor, this time with America's Most Wanted. You know, I hate when they call them AMW because it sounds like A&W. Anyway, they say stuff and here comes Kid Kash with Abyss, that dude who looks like Kane used to except wearing a denim shirt. Kash punches Taylor and here's TNA Red Shirt Security to keep them apart.

Chris Sabin v. Juventud Guerrera in the finals of the Super X Division Cup Championship International Invitational United-States-Versus-The-World Tournament
Jeremy Borash, the NWA Michael Buffer, handles the intros. Mike Tenay suggests that the Super X Tournament will become an annual event. Personally, I wouldn't mind, as this has all been awesome. Staredown. Slaps. Double dropdown. Double dropkick. Staredown and applause. Juvi with headscissors and kicks and flips and rolls and now an armbar. Sabin goes to flip Juvi out of a powerbomb type position, but instead Juvi lands on the back of his head by mistake, oops. Sabin attacks the head but Juvi comes back with kicks and a plancha. Juvi drops into the ring with a slingshot elbowdrop. Juvi hooks a form of an abdominal stretch, then goes for one of those Lucha flip around moves, but Sabin counters with a German suplex. Sabin climbs the ropes, but Juvi counters as though going for a powerbomb, but Sabin goes for a sunset flip, but Juvi rolls through and hits the dropkick to the face. Sabin comes out of the corner, but gets caught in an Ocean Cyclone Suplex for two. Two hundred counters and reversals and two counts follow. Both guys try to stand but collapse from dizziness. Another two hundred reversals follow until Juvi hits a facebuster for two. Juvi hits a springboard dropkick again, and kips up, signaling for the Juvi Driver. Sabin reverses, takes Juvi up for a one-shoulder backbreaker, and rolls him off into a facebuster for two. Neat move. Juvi fights for a double underhook and finally lands a Tiger Driver '91, but amazingly only gets two. He goes for a Juvi Driver, but Sabin reverses into a DDT for two. Sabin hits an awesome superplex for two. Juvi finally hits the Juvi Driver and lands the 450 Splash, but Sabin barely gets a foot over the ropes for two. Juvi picks Sabin up, but Sabin grabs a Future Shock (fisherman buster) for the win. This was 15 minutes and it was pretty awesome.

Sabin is handed a trophy, but we cut away right away to a promo for Roddy Piper. "It was ruleless, other than the ones that they laid down." That's nice work, Roddy. It was ruleless except for the rules.

Next week, it's a one-cent NWA TNA PPV. It actually sounds pretty awesome - Raven against Jeff Jarrett; Chris Sabin, Michael Shane, and Frankie Kazarian in Ultimate X; America's Most Wanted against Diamond and Swinger in a cage, and lots of other stuff. Should be pretty good.

Jeremy Borash is in the cage, introducing Erik Watts. Watts sends the ring attendant, timekeeper, and Borash to leave the area because War Games is so dangerous. This is actually a neat idea. Three Live Krew comes out to replace the ring crew. B.G. James takes over as ring announcer, Konnan is the timekeeper, and Ron Killings will serve as ring attendant.

Entering first with Vince Russo at his side is "Fallen Angel" Christopher Daniels. Russo is wearing AJ Styles' world title belt. Next in is Jeff Jarrett with Dusty Rhodes at his side. I'm having flashbacks to the Double J days with Roadie introducing him. Daniels attacks Jarrett before entering the ring and tosses him into the crowd. West says that fighting in the crowd is smart because that way they're not getting hit with the vicious weapons in the cage. Of course, he says this as Daniels cracks Jarrett with a chair.

They fight into the ring and the door is locked, as half the crowd chants "Fallen Angel"and the other half yells "sucks" at the appropriate point. The cage is lined with chairs, trash cans, kendo sticks, and one of those yellow things that they put on the floor in a mall when it's just been mopped. Also, there must be some nunchucks, 'cause Daniels beat Jarrett up with them. Meanwhile, Don Callis has joined the commentary crew. Jarrett comes back with a kendo stick but AJ Styles enters the cage to make it two-on-one. They beat on Jarrett for 90 seconds (well, Styles beats on Jarrett while Daniels struggles with setting up a table) until Chris Harris evens out the sides. He takes out Styles with a great spear and runs Daniels headfirst into the cage. Now Russo has joined the commentary table too and I can't tell what anyone's saying. Styles scoops up Jarrett for a powerbomb and Daniels comes off the ropes to put him through a table, but really, Daniels just went through the table himself.

Simon Diamond is next in. Jarrett beats him up with nunchucks. Simon's got a problem:Jeff Jarrett beating him up with nunchucks. Here comes D'Lo Brown. He starts smacking people with trash cans while Harris hits The Catatonic (a scoop, spin, Rock Bottom) on Diamond. More brawling and YES here comes "The Franchise" Shane Douglas. I hate this guy. He grabs that yellow warning thing and starts hitting D'Lo with it. When me and Dave watched this for the first time, we came up with this story where Shane Douglas was walking in a mall and hit a wet patch and wiped out and he knocked himself out. When he came to, he opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was that sign and now he's got the sign in War Games and he's all like "We meet again! Shit shit ass fuck shit ass FRAAAAAAAAAAANCHISE!" and so he wasn't hitting D'Lo with the sign, he was using D'Lo to beat the sign up, and he was all like "we'll see if you're slippery when FRAAAAANCHISED" and maybe you had to be there.

"Cowboy" James Storm entered the ring while I typed up that story. Also, Russo tossed a bat into the cage. Johnny Swinger enters to make it five on four. There's all kinds of punching and kicking and weapons and stuff. Hahaha Douglas has the sign hahahaha slippery when FRAAAAAAAAAAANCHISED!

Raven enters to make it five on five. Everyone's in now. I think Russo just said "fuck," but I'm not sure.

There's a whole lot of brawling happening. Jarrett is bleeding badly. Why does Simon Diamond have the Calgary Flames horse-dog thing on his ass?

Shane Douglas takes time out to yell swear words at Dusty Rhodes. Then he hits Raven with a bat. The heels dominate until all the faces reverse at the same time. Raven hits the Raven Effect on Douglas. Daniels took down Raven, but then D'Lo hit Down With The Brown. Diamond and Swinger hit their double DDT on D'Lo, then Harris hit a spear on Diamond. Styles climbs the ropes, but Jarrett follows and hits a Stroke off the top rope. D'Lo comes off the top with a frog splash as Chris Harris comes off the other side with a top rope legdrop. They hit Simon Diamond? I think. Maybe Swinger. Either way, Jarrett covered for the win.

Immediately after, Russo, Legend, and other dudes attack Dusty. Three Live Krew makes the save as everyone spills out of the cage and they fight everywhere. Still in the ring, Shane Douglas is joined by James Mitchell and The Disciples Of The New Church. Douglas produces some scissors and starts cutting Raven's hair and we're out.

This was probably the best TNA show there's been. All the cruiser matches were good, and War Games was kinda fun too. It didn't have the big moves, but it was fast paced and didn't get boring.

Hmm, I suppose I should finish this article properly, but I've got nothing. Scott will probably be back next week, and I'll return with more recaps whenever I feel like it.