Single File #7
Posted: 03/06/01

We’re back with the Single File #7.  This one will be a quickie, since I’ve got a lot cooking, including this week’s Death By Thunder report at Rant Central and another show report for the [Slash].

In an amazing display of synergy, this Single File is a companion piece to a review of Clash of the Champions XIII, which should still be up at [Slash] Wrestling.  In that review, I boldly declare the Sid-Nightstalker match to be the worst ever.  Here, we’ll suck it up and closely examine this abomination.

Backstory:  None, really.  Well, this was from a Clash of the Champions, which was a big free TV show, so you couldn’t stick a lot of squashes on there, but they couldn’t blow off feuds, either (gotta save that for PPV).  Often you stuck two guys out there and said “Go to town.”  I imagine someone took Sid and Nightstalker aside and just said “Go to town.”

Sid was Sid Vicious back then, a member of the Horseman, and he hadn’t tried to murder Arn Anderson yet.  Sid had just headlined Halloween Havoc ’90 in a title match against Sting, which featured the infamous “Barry Whindam as fake Sting” incident (2).

The Nightstalker is better known today as Bryan Clarke of Kronik.  He was part of an oddball heel stable that included The Big Cat and the Motor City Madman (3).  If this isn’t his first match in WCW, it’s one of the earliest ones.

The Match: Nightstalker’s chyron reads “With Ox Baker,” but he comes out alone.  Ross covers up by saying that Baker put together such a great game plan he doesn’t need to be at ringside.  Okay.  We get a quick pre-taped interview from Sid, where he blows off the Nightstalker and threatens Sting, saying he could be da Stinga on his worst day, and he’s the master and ruler etc.

Staredown to start and Sid gives the Stalker a little wussy shove.  Nightstalker calls for a test of strength, and they lock up.  ‘Stalker kicks Sid in the gut to bring him to his knees, but Vicious retaliates with a headbutt and a kick to break the hold.  Sid whips the Stalker to the ropes, and I swear, the Nightstalker literally walks into Sid with a shoulderblock.  Sid doesn’t move, of course. 

They kind of stare at each other for a second, and the Nightstalker slaps on a bearhug!  I swear to God, a minute into the match and he has to resort to a bearhug.  If that wasn’t bad enough, they’re clearly talking to each other during the move.  Maybe they’re whispering sweet nothings to each other, I don’t know.  Sid hits an ear clap to break the hold, and the Nightstalker just puts him back in it.  Way to be.  Anyway, Sid eventually punches his way out of the hold, then goes to work on the Nightstalker in the corner.  The ref tries to come between them, allowing the Nightstalker to knee Sid in the gut.  The Nightstalker goes to work on Sid’s back with some elbows, then goes on the apron and drops to the floor, yanking Sid’s arm on the top rope.  What the hell?

Sid tries to fight back with a laughable punch.  I mean, it was so obvious he stomped his foot.  Nightstalker shrugs it off and hits some more knees to the midsection, then applies a nervehold on the back.  At least, I think it was a nervehold—Nightstalker pretty much just put his hand on Sid’s back.  The commentators are courageously trying to sell it like the Nightstalker is going after Sid’s injured ribs, which would be swell, except that Sid had injured them over a year ago.

The crowd starts booing, but that’s only because the Big Cat is coming down to the ring.  Sid manages a backdrop suplex on the Nightstalker, then sees the Cat coming and punches him out.  While Sid’s dealing with the Cat, the Nighstalker picks up his ax and advances on Sid in plain view of the ref.  Now why isn’t that a DQ?  What, the ref’s waiting until the Nightstalker splits Sid’s head open?  Anyway, the Nightstalker swings, but Sid dodges and the ‘Stalker drops the ax.  Now Sid punches the Nightstalker, and both he and the Big Cat watch as Sid grabs the ax.  Sid kicks the Cat and shoves the Nightstalker with the ax (honest to God).  Then Cat then watches as Sid gets the pinfall (3:30).  I mean, why not walk two steps and break up the pin?  What, you don’t want to risk being DQ’d?

The bad guys get the better of Sid afterwards, so Sid beats a tactical retreat.   

This match is terrible, easily the worst match I’ve ever seen.  Maybe you’ve witnessed some bad indie matches, but this is supposed to be the big leagues, with a big show to boot.  Christ, one of these guys just headlined a PPV.  There’s no excuse for a match this bad.  I need a shower to wash the pain away.

Fallout: Sid and his old Skyscraper partner Dan Spivey reunited at Starrcade to destroy the Motor City Madman and Big Cat in about a minute.  Don’t ask me why they didn’t face The Nightstalker and Big Cat.  I don’t think the ‘Stalker was employed with WCW for too much longer.  He didn’t show up at another PPV until Starrcade ’91, where he subbed for an injured Scott Hall.

Sid took off from WCW shortly afterwards, joining the WWF as Sid Justice.  Then he went back to WCW and tried to murder Arn Anderson.  Then it was back to the WWF as “Sycho” Sid, then back to WCW.  Sid has won the WWF and WCW World on several occasions.  He is currently recovering from a nasty leg injury.

The Nightstalker eventually popped up in the WWF as Adam Bomb.  He returned to WCW as Wrath, taking part in the Blood Runs Cold angle.  Now he’s Bryan Clarke, one half of Kronik, the angry potheads.  He is a multi-time WCW Tag Champion.    

This match is sort of the Manos: The Hands of Fate of wrestling—the measuring stick that all badness should by judged against.  Try to track it down—if you dare.

Back soon with some Smokey Mountain.

Joe Gagne

(1)  The more things change…
(2)  Consult Wrestlecrap for more details.
(3)  The Big Cat is better known today as Curtis “Mr.” Hughes.  The Motor City Madman is better known today as the guy that works the late shift at Denny’s.

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