WWF Summerslam
Posted: 08/19/01

Boy, was I long winded in my intro to Invasion.

Well just cut to the chase-it's Summerslam, Rocky's back, Angle versus Austin, DDP's a dead man, the Invasion continues, let the bodies hit-naw, I won't say it.

WWF Summerslam August 19th, 2001 
The Compaq Center, San Jose, CA

Spike Dudley/The Acolytes vs. Test/The Dudley Boys

Backstory: Farooq and Bradshaw originally suspected Test of being the WCW mole, so they and a WWF contingent kicked the crap out of Mr. Martin. Then, whoops, it turned out Paul Heyman was the mole. The Acolytes offered Test a beer as a tough guy way of apologizing, but that bastard Test just stormed off. The former Motley Crue roadie assured the viewing audience that he was behind the WWF, but it was all a cruel lie, as he cost the APA their tag titles on the 8/9 Smackdown. Now a full-fledged Alliance member, Test continued his rampage this past RAW by destroying little Spike Dudley.

Joe Pontificates: Seems like a filler match to get some guys on PPV. But everyone here is at least tolerable, so if they keep the pace quick it should at least be watchable. Is this the beginning of a Test push, or will the faces go over to pop the crowd? I'll say the latter.

Tanvir Decrees: Oh, definitely. The person that should be in the center of this should be Test - even though I'm not really keen on his work inside or outside of the ring. I really do not care about any of these guys right now, but I think the heels will win because of some chicanery leading to Test pinning Spike.

Albert Articualtes: This match has had the least hype, so it's the D'Lo/Venis of this PPV. But it's okay, everyone loves Spike (at least they DID) and the APA, and Test might have some sort of heat after the whole heel turn, but doing absolutely nothing about it afterwards really doesn't help matters. I would point out that it's comical that the Dudley Boyz have went from the main event to the opener, but it's kind of odd that they were in that main event at all. I think that the faces go over in this one, simply because I don't see too many more victories for the WWF down the road...

The Cubs Fan Verbalizes: Albert has a point - the Alliance side takes a decided drop in quality once you get past DDP, Booker T and Austin.  The others are interchangeable midcarders - except for the Spike deal, they could slip in O'Haire and Palumbo here and it wouldn't change much. It'd be awful pointless to turn Test and not have him get a least a short term boost until they forget him again, so his team wins here.

X-Pac vs. Tajiri [WCW Cruiserweight Title vs. WWF Light Heavyweight Title Unification Match]

Backstory: On the 8/6 RAW, X-Pac complained to Commissioner Regal that even though he was a double champion, he wasn't getting any TV Time. Tajiri joked (in Japanese) that the reason was simple: X-Pac sucks. This pissed off X-Pac, so he challenged Tajiri to a match that same night, and the Japanese Buzzsaw went on to beat X-Pac for the WWF Light Heavyweight Title. Tajiri was pinned in a tag match by Albert on the following Smackdown, avenged that loss this past Monday by unveiling the red mist (no more Kryptonite joke, please), but was pinned again by Albert in a tag match on Smackdown via the Baldobomb.

Joe Pontificates: Does anyone want to see X-Pac win here (besides X-Pac or maybe one of his parents)? Tajiri is quite the budding superstar, and a win here would be a positive move, both for him and the cruiser/light heavyweight/juniors division. I'm going with Tajiri, but I wouldn't be shocked if X-Pac got his belt back.

Tanvir Decrees: This is a pretty neat feud, as both these guys have had some fun matches on television. I'd like Tajiri to go over and then feud with Hurricane Helms and his Green Lantern tattoo. Or Chavo. Or Kidman. And if X-Pac wins, which cruiserweight faces are there for him to face? Scotty Too Hotty? Spike Dudley? If the WWF is really serious in moving forward with a cruiserweight division, then Tajiri should be your champion - he can have more athletic contests with a number of WCW competitors than X-Pac can.

Albert Articulates: Crazy, LHW title matches on PPV! I don't know if this is a "real" unification match or if anyone cares, but after SmackDown!, I'd say that Tajiri is probably going to win. Naturally, X-Pac will win a title or both back on RAW, but I think Yoshi's going over here in the PPV. 

The Cubs Fan Verbalizes: The guy from the Mario games? X-Pac wants to this to work (for his own self-gain) and will put on a good effort, like he did versus Kidman. If they want to do the divison, putting the title on Tajiri would make it all work out so well, but then I never know if they really do. I'll guess Tajiri here, leading towards a three way battle for all the gold between Tajiri (WWF), Kidman (WCW) and X-Pac (X-Pac).

Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy [c] (WWF Hardcore Title Ladder Match)

Backstory: Van Dam beat Hardy for the belt back at Invasion, and went on to successfully defend the title against Matt Hardy, Tajiri, Jerry Lynn, Kane, and Edge. But as Rob was taking on Kurt Angle on RAW, Jeff ran in, hit a Swanton, and won the title back. However, RVD used a ladder and pinned Hardy with the Five Star Frog Splash in a tag match this past Smackdown. Jeffy decided to raise the ante (and the title) and made their match a ladder match.

Joe Pontificates: Given what happened on Smackdown, I say Hardy retains, and maybe we get the rubber match at Unforgiven.

Tanvir Decrees: I wished they would have hyped this more instead of rushing this feud right before the PPV. They could have started this feud last week - making Hardy winning the title on Monday mean more. I hate it when stipulations get thrown out right before a PPV - the WWF could've done more to hype this. My prediction: Jeff will die.

Albert Articualtes: The kids, they like their RVD. Even though this is a water-downed ladder match and the WWF sucks for overusing ladder matches and I hate them for that (not really), I am looking forward to this. I think that RVD will get the title back because it's the best way to push him right now without really giving him wins against anyone, just midcarders in Hardcore Title sideshows.

The Cubs Fan Verbalizes: RVD's gonna have a hard time kicking chairs in people's faces if his matches have DQs. Also, the whole "frog splashing chairs" thing may be illegal as well. RVD wins back the title that it seems he should've won on Thursday.

Chris Jericho vs. Rhyno (w/Stephanie McMahon (w/new boobs))

Backstory: Remember all those times Rhyno went over Y2J before King of the Ring? At least we now know they were building to something. And with the war of the words currently raging between Jericho and Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Rhyno has stepped in to defend his boss' honor. His actions include: goring Jericho and causing him to be pinned in a six-man tag, goring Jericho during a tag match against the Dudleys, goring him through the Smackdown stage, and punching him in the nuts and pinning him on a tag match this past RAW and goring him again. Kinda lopsided, when you look at it.

Joe Pontificates: Geez, I hope Jericho wins, given all the abuse he's taken over the past few weeks. Some a predicting a swerve where Steph hooks up with Y2J, but I don't see that happening. Not yet, anyway.

Tanvir Decrees: Jericho losing to Rhyno is just something I don't wanna see or hear about.

Albert Articualtes: Jericho has been really mean to Stephaine lately. I know that it's been with "cause" and all but it's getting into the uncomfortable area. I don't know if that means I'm getting old or a heel turn or what, but I'm tired of this whole Jericho/Stephanie thing. Anyway, the announcers heavily playing up the "Rhyno is undefeated against Jericho" virtually guarantees a Y2J victory.

The Cubs Fan Verbalizes: This is one of a few matches here where who wins (Jericho) is a lot matters a lot less than how they get there. If the WWF wants people to believe that Rhyno's on Jericho's level (or even near it), they got to set up this match that way - having Rhyno win or come close after a whole bunch of outside stuff won't help matters.

Lance Storm [c] vs. Edge (Intercontinental Title Match)

Backstory: This started out as a battle over awesomeness, as Edge and Christian attacked Mike Awesome and cost him his hardcore title. Awesome teamed up with Lance Storm, but dropped a match to the seven time tag champions at Invasion. The disappointment was short lived for Storm, as he beat Albert the next night to win the Intercontinental Title, and cut a promo the next week deriding offbeat shenanigans. On the next Raw, Christian wanted a five-second pose with Lance for Canadian Unity, but it was all a ruse that resulted in Lance being pantsed (hey, that almost rhymed) by Edge. Storm got his revenge by beating Christian that night and costing Edge the Hardcore title on Smackdown. The tension between Edge and Christian looks to be at the boiling point. Christian was absent during Edge's Hardcore Title shot, which saw Edge eat a Conchairto. He was also too injured to make the tag during their RAW match with the Impact Players. Finally, Christian deserted his partner on Smackdown to chase after Lance Storm after he nailed Edge with a Superkick.

Joe Pontificates: I say King Edge takes the title home, then has his first feud with Christian. Match should rule either way.

Tanvir Decrees: I like Storm a helluva lot more than Edge. And as a heel, he'll probably be in control of most of the match, which should make Edge's spurts of offense look really good. I see Storm keeping the belt. Maybe Christian gets involved.

Albert Articulates: I don't think they'd make Edge KOTR if he wasn't going to win something, and it's been two months of him being stuck in neutral. I don't want Christian to turn on him, but it seems to be a given at this point. Edge wins, Christian gets involved, we go to RAW and things explode.

The Cubs Fan Verbalizes: Christian turns on Edge and costs him the match. I don't want to see it but I can't see it not coming - they haven't overblown like they do with swerves (Tazz on Smackdown) and they've made too many hints that there's almost a gap in logic if they don't. They could always forget about in the midst of doing different things like they did last time but I'm not holding my hopes out.

Undertaker/Kane vs. "Diamond" Dallas Page/Chris Kanyon (WCW vs. WWF Tag Title Unification Cage Match)

Backstory: Well, DDP's been stalking Sara Undertaker for quite a while, and it looked like we would get a 'Taker/DDP blowoff match at SS. Then Page and Kanyon stole the WWF Tag titles from the Acolytes on the 7/9 Smackdown, followed by Undertaker and Kane beating Chuck Palumbo and Sean O'Haire for the WCW Tag Titles the same night. The Dead Men gave the Jersey Duo a preview of their match Monday Night as they destroyed Palumbo and O'Haire in a cage rematch.

Joe Pontificates: Boy, I hate this feud. At this point I should be dying to see Page's ass served to him on a platter, but I just don't care. Why? Because Page has been portrayed as nothing but a minor annoyance. Really, what's he done to the Undertaker? He broke into his house, went through his drawers, caused Sara to be hit with a chair, built a shrine, and cost Kane the hardcore title. Meanwhile, Undertaker's pretty much beaten him up at every turn. I won't get into an "Undertaker Won't Sell/Must Retire" diatribe, but seriously, there's no drama here at all. This one's gonna be ug-lee, people, and will likely end with Undertaker, Kane, and Sara taking turns beating up DDP.

Tanvir Decrees: I wish I could care about this, but all I can think about is how weird DDP is and how unattractive Sara really is. What do you think, Albert?!

Albert: Sara's 'ight. I mean, people are used to WWF women looking like cartoon versions of actual people. It's not like Sara is hideous, she's just kind of normal looking. And a little manly. And a little Cro-Magnon. Anyway, DDP and Kanyon are quite obviously going to get punched and kicked and chokeslammed and Last Rid and possibly even Tombston Piledrove but probably not. If not, what the hell is the point?

The Cubs Fan Verbalizes: Kanyon escaping the cage and leaving DDP to die, leaving us to feel sorry for DDP for having to fight alone and accept him as a face in a few weeks? I dunno that the WWF is winning if they'd get DDP but lose Christian, but maybe the part of me that dislikes DDP is making that decision. It would give something for them to do with the US Title, and when we're talking about a tag title unification match, obviously that's the main concern.

Booker T [c] vs. The Rock (WCW World Title Match) 

Backstory: Booker T, 5-time WCW Champion, wants to make a name for himself. And what better way to make a name for yourself than taking out the returning Rock. Sadly, Booker has been verbally disemboweled by Rocky whenever they go head-to-head on the mic. Booker tried to go to Hollywood and be a movie star like Rocky, but it turned out less than optimally. But the WCW champ may finally got one over on La Roca when he brought back the Bookend on RAW, then put Rocky through a table at the end of Smackdown. Shane McMahon should be around to cause trouble.

Joe Pontificates: Giving Rocky the WCW title just doesn't work right now-it's way too soon to build to Austin/Rocky title vs. title. A Booker T win will add legitimacy and cements him in the top card. I expect the match ending to be screwy, but if Booker's injury has subsided, it should really rule.

Tanvir: I agree! Booker's a lot better keeping the belt, while Rock firmly establishes himself to be the better competitor. It helps both guys - Booker gets to be the legit, full-of-shit heel, while Rock is Rock. This will be entertaining and I could see Shane being involved, even though I wish he would die. 

Albert Articulates: What would the point of Rock as WCW Champ be? It'd be like Angle as WCW champ, cool for like a second, and then they'd say "Oh wait, this really doesn't make all that much sense let's give it back to Booker." So I think that after run-ins form Shane, maybe other Alliance members, Treach from Naughty By Nature, Stevie Ray, Rachel Leigh Cook, Walt Disney's corpse, and others, the Rock will win somehow.

The Cubs Fan Verbalizes: Two main events, four total endings: Up And Comers Win, Established Guys win, Both WCW Guys win, Both WWF Guys win. The problem is that none of them really works right - some face has to win, but if you put over Rock here, you're getting nowhere, and if you're putting over Angle later, you're derailing your long term Rock/Austin plans. Out of the four, Booker T needs a win the most, so he's gotta get it here.

"Stone Cold" Steve Austin [c] vs. Kurt Angle (WWF Title Match) 

Backstory: Austin and Angle actually had a tenuous allegiance with Vince for most of the summer, but that all went out the window when Austin turned his back on the WWF and aligned himself with the, um, Alliance. Seems Austin was paranoid about being replaced by the like of Kurt and the returning Rock, so he went where he would be appreciated. This didn't sit well with Angle, who stepped up to Austin the night after Invasion. Since then, Stone Cold has done everything to break Angle, including putting him through a table, costing him the WCW World Title, Pillmanizing his leg, siccing an army of Alliance lackeys on him, and having Tazz choke him out. But the Olympic Hero is still standing, and is ready to snap Stone Cold's ankle like one of Debra's cookies.

Joe Pontificates: The most logical decision (in my warped mind, anyway) is to put Austin over Angle and Booker over Rocky. But will the WWF have the faces lose both main events? Not likely. Angle has been building a lot of face momentum, and being the one to unseat Austin could push him to the very top. So I say Angle takes it. These two had an awesome match on the 1/8 edition of RAW this year, so this may end up being a MOTY candidate.

Tanvir Decrees: I don't know. On one hand, I'm thinking Austin should be the dominant motherfucking heel until he faces the Rock at Survivor Series. Wrestlemania seems a bit out of the question - so I guess Angle can be a [ugh] "transitional champion" like he was last year. But yes, Angle has been getting a great reaction and he has every right to win the belt. 

Albert Articulates: I agree than Angle has amazing face heat going in, especially considering that he had roughly equally amazing heel heat just two months ago. But really, everyone wants to see Rock beat Austin for the title, and we don't really need Angle to play Lex Luger.

The Cubs Fan Verbalizes: But if Angle doens't win, where does he go from here? He IS Lex Luger - he's got the shot against the champ and blown it, and we're supposed to root for him to get another shot? I'm very divided here, but I'll go with what I hope they'll do (give it to Angle and let him get a run at it while they sort other things out - maybe do Rock/Austin without the title on the line and then save Rock beating Austin for the title for WM?) and not what I got a bad feeling they will do (Austin wins, double heel win).

Joe's Synopsis: Wow, this card really rules. The only match I'm actively dreading is the tag title match. Plus, the booking could go any which way. The WWF could use another strong card, and I think they'll deliver the goods.

Tanvir's Final Decree, Damnit: The opener and the tag title match will not be very fun. But the rest will be good to very good. 

Albert Final Articulation: Vinegar will get you drunk. I'm looking forward to the show.

The Cubs Fan's Final Verb: I think the tag team match might be fun for the sheer death that DDP experiences. It should be intersting - last month was just to introduce the particpants, now it's time to start to estabilish for real.

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