Lucha Libre USA: Masked Warriors #1 (07/16/2010) 
Recapped: 07/27/10

Announcers are Nigel and Lalo, and never shown.

Match 1: el Limon, Neutronic, Oriental © vs Máscara Púrpura ©, PR Flyer, San Juan Kid
Agua Caliente Casino, Palm Springs, CA, 06/06/2010

Winner: rudos
Match Time: 8:41
Rating: OK
Notes: Neutronic is ex-CMLL Neutron, with a very slightly new name. Oriental is Oriental. El Limon is our old friend Salsero, wearing his Hijo de Pierroth outfit, but now as a guy from Peru. Mascara Púrpura, who really could've used a new name of his own, is still the same CMLL guy in a new outfit. Nothing on this show is as credible straining as the announcers referring to Mascara Púrpura as “one of the most charismatic lucha libre stars you're ever going to see.” PR Flyer and San Juan Kid are Louis Lyndon and Flip Kendrick, and don't ask me to get those two straight. The first, want to see “Lucha Libra Live” graphic is shown doing Oriental's entrance. Crowd noise is fake but loud. They try to shoot the same 300 fans as many ways as possible to make you think it's 3,000, but the empty chairs are sort of giveaways. Neutronic gets an entrance video, the only one of the six. Oriental and Mascara Purpura are listed as captains, thought he announcers would decided differently during the match.

Announcers are doing heavy face (Nigel)/heel (Lalo) commentary and it comes off as really forced and dated. Lalo is left by himself as Nigel does (obviously taped later) ring announcing, and tries to heel it up while also introducing everyone. It doesn't really work to have the rudo doing background. They mention captains rules in passing, cutting each other off a couple times. They're also afraid to have a single moment of silence and sound out of breath trying to fill it. Lalo also forgets PR Flyer's name, which isn't much of a rudo move when the vast majority of the people watching the show don't know the name either.

The match! The first three quarters of the match is a Púrpura showcase, rudo beatdown with a lack of interesting tag moves, Púrpura starts the comeback, though he misses the handspring he's going for. Púrpura's Asai twisting moonsault takes out Neutron, while the PR Powers actually get in some offense, including a tope/tope con giro (Lalo goes with “hilo”) on Limon and Oriental. Púrpura feeds himself into a Neutronic suplex, for only a two. Neutronic and Púrpura take turns running each other into the corner, with Púrpura ending up a spinebuster. Required shooting star press connects, but Limon and Oriental return to break it up. PR Powers are rammed into each other, but kick out of inside cradles. Double pinfall spot confuses the referee, who counts one on and misses the other. Técnicos hit their own moves, but miss top rope moves. Oriental German suplexes San Juan Kid and Limon middle legdrops PR Flyer for the pin.

After a break, the rudos are still celebrating. Replays from the match. Tecnicso celebrate the ring.

Arizona's RJ Brewer does the expected anti-immigration bit. Mexicans are running traditional professional wrestling and all.


Match 2: Chi Chi & Pequeño Halloween vs Mascarita Dorada & Mini Park
Agua Caliente Casino, Palm Springs, CA, 06/06/2010

Winner: Rudos
Match Time: 6:51
Rating: Dorada/Halloween was good
Notes: Mini Park is a mini of LA Park, who's announced as 180 pounds. I dunno. Mascarita Dorada is announced as from Guadalajara. Pequeño Halloween gets a video. Chi Chi is the former Kwee Wee/Alan Funk from a decade ago in WCW. He's with Tigresa Caliente, last seen in TNA as Rhaka Khan. Announcers referee to Chi Chi as “she” (which may be right, but with this crew, I dunno), and note her hometown of San Francisco, and her purse.

Nigel (abridged): “There's history between Pequeño Halloween and Mascarita Dorada!”
Lalo (abridged): “Yes. There is! And now they're here.”

Exciting. I've learned a lot. They have a similar unilluminating discussion about a trick Mini Halloween pulled on Nigel. Announcers also seem to believe they're on radio, and we won't know a move has happened if they don't tells us about it. Point in the announcers favor: they know the word casadora and I clearly don't.

Mini Halloween and Mascarita Dorada are good together, including the requisite multiple rotation headscissors. The other two – well, Mini Halloween and Mascarita Dorada are good together. End game is Park knocking Chi Chi out of the ring and going for a dive, only to be pulled off the ropes and powerbombed by Tigresa. Chi Chie comes back in for the pin. People who've gone over on this show so far: Hijo de Pierroth, Oriental, and Rhaka Khan. I dunno.

Fat Joe will talk about your show if you sell his CD.

Like after the first match, they return from break with replays, and a vignette. This one's for Lujo Esquire, a rich and masked luchador hanging out at his pool.

Bonus: Marco Corleone works on pushups, while his friend Solid works on eating. Tinieblas interrupts to count a subtitles promo, promising to win the tournament. Neutornic is there to be henchman. Tinieblas, who was already going to beat Marco in the match, promises to really beat him after Marco suggests he's his father. Solid eats some food.

Match 3: Marco Corleone (w/Solid) vs Tinieblas Jr. (w/Neutronic) in a 1st round tournament match for the Lucha Libre USA Heavyweight Championship
Agua Caliente Casino, Palm Springs, CA, 06/06/2010

Winner: Marco Corleone
Match Time: 5:35
Rating: eh
Notes: Announcers explain the tournament brackets are secret, but it's an eight man tournament. Lalo picks Tinieblas to win the entire tournament, without knowing anyone else in it. Marco and Solid have matching tights. Solid brings food out with him to eat. Lalo, who hates all the other técnicos, thinks Marco is both the present and future of lucha libre. The referee is a bald guy, not the guy who did the first two matches. Fake sound is way turned down from the first match, strangely so.

Match is back and fort, sometimes randomly so, until Tinieblas takes over and works over Marco. There's a point where the rudo Tinieblas goes to two different corners to lead chants for himself. Marco comes back with a left hand punch as Tinieblas is chopping him, but Tinieblas comes back with “the Drop of Darkness” (???? kind of an Edge-O-Matic) for a two count. Marco boot Tinieblas on a corner charge, but Neutronic holds him up. Tinieblas doesn't follow up for whatever reason, and Solid breaks it up with a fat clothesline. Marco throws Tinieblas out, and gets in his plancha on both. They repeat the Neutronic leg grab, Solid clotheslining spot again as Marco comes in, Tinieblas a corner charge, and Marco rolls him up for the pin.

Hijo de Lizmark and Unnamed Luchador run in, Lizmark superkicking Marco and the unidentified man attacks Solid. The four rudos celebrate in the ring. Replays, they celebrate on the stage, and that's it.