IWRG on Teleforumla #7 (12/19/2009)
One of these Lucha Manias has to change their names. Just to make my life a bit easier. I would also insist on AYM or Galavision changing the name of their shows to something besides Lucha Libre, but I don't know that I'll get it.
At the top of the hour, there’s actually a two minute commercial for hair styling. That'll catch people's attention flipping thru the channels.
Announcers are Aldo Fernandez and Fernando Palacios, who talk about Hijo de Lizmark being in the main event. Not so much. At ringside is Karlo Colin, with a fantastic festive hat.
Match 1: Bushi, Suicida, Zatura vs Fantasma de la Ópera, Oficial 911, Oficial AK47
Arena Naucalpan , 12/06/2009
Match Time: 16:22
Notes: Joined just before the bell, with no introductions.
1: Bushi is very fired up to start, but can't get anyone with him. 911 comes in, then tags out. Crowd is behind Bushi, but he tags out to Suicida. 911 tags out to AK-47, so Suicida tags out to Bushi, and on we go. Let me wait until this stops. Going. Still going. Maybe AK-47 and Suicida re going to start? AK-47, and isn't that going to be lovely to type fast, wants a really high test of strength. Suicida shoots for the legs instead. Front facelock, AK-47 up with an armbar, Suicida with a leg trip heel trip, AK-47 get the armbar back, Suicida flips into control and armdrag AK-47. AK-47 milks it a little bit. Lockup, under armbar by AK457, Suicida kicks him in the midsection, flips free, armdrag, step over armbar, 911 races into break it up. Bushi yells at him from the outside, not that’s going to help. Oficial high five, which is some how not a tag. Suicida recovers, they circle around, and Bushi gets in a shot on AK-47 from outside. That goes nowhere. Lockup? I think I'm thrown off, we'd be in the third fall in CMLL by now. AK-47 armbar, armdrag, Suicida stood up, tripped down, but still manages an armdrag from the ground. Zero leg trip, but instead over a cover, Suicida does a leg grapevine on one leg and toe hold on the other. Fantasma runs in, smacks Suicida on the head then attacks Zatura on the apron. Guess it's the beatdown, though poor Bushi is stuck walking around waiting to be hit before 911 gets over there. 911 had to stop to get Suicida first, since Fantasma did not do a great job there. Zatura takes a comic bump off a chop in the corner. Slaps and kicks in the ring, while 911 takes Bushi around ringside. Random brawling, Fantasma and Zatura going out while 911 and Bushi come in. Rudos come together to lift up Bushi's leg for 911 to kick.
Weird bit of editing – I think they wanted a replay, but instead they went back to a random shot from earlier in the match that had nothing to do with anything. Is this going to be a new wacky issue each week? Suicida in, whipped to the corner, corner clothesline, corner clothesline, whipped out into a big boot. Double whip, backdrop, Suicida getting some height. The Arena Naucalpan ring is hard. Zatura and Bushi brought in, and AK-47 chokes Zatura on the ropes while the other two work over Bushi. Fantasma goes out, lifts up Suicida, and sort of crotches him on the post. Suicida takes the moves oddly. Inside, the Oficials clothesline Bushi. Whip, double boot. Zatura back in, and rolling around. He gets kicked in the face. Corner whip, AK-47 whipped in after him, Zatura moves, AK-47 hits the corner. 911 stops Zatura with a back elbow. Double whip, double clothesline misses, Zatura handspring back elbow kinda hits both men. Suicida missile dropkicks Fantasma, and Zatura slides out with Fantasma to hold him for Suicida. This does not seem like a smart idea, but Suicida's tope con giro hits the right guy. The barricade is so close to the ring, Suicida easily ends up going over it after impact, and landing on his feet. Luckily, everyone had cleared out of that section, so Suicida just walks away. Bushi left in with both Oficials. Spinebuster, kinda of a double crab on him. It’s like they wanted the headstand and it didn't work, so they just did what they could. One of the AK-47 puts on armbar, but this holds lasts for quite a while with Bushi not giving up – and then when he does, it's not very obvious – bad timing on a camera change to miss the submission wave?
Maybe the Oficials miss it too, but they certainly can't miss the referees counting them to let go of the hold. They choose not to – and so the referee breaks it up, and wards the fall to Bushi.
Oficials stomp Bushi some more, because what else are they going to do. His técnicos allies try to come in to help, and the rudos beat them up too. Nice headbutt to Zatura. Fantasma bites Suicida's fingers for a while. Oficials giving out the headbutts to everyone. Replay include multiple armbar reversals. That kind of fall. Break.
2: One of the Oficials get his arm checked out between falls. I assume this is AK-47, though it's not taped this week. They protest to the doctor and the ringside announcer. Main announcers make fun of them. Rudos regroup. Quite the slow start coming off a beatdown. Fantasma want to start this one, and so the técnicos send out Suicida. Fantasma slaps him directly in the face. Whip, flapjack, and Fantasma socks him in the face with dropkick. Chest slap. Whip, Suicida over, flipping run, armdrag for Fantasma. Fantasma tries a clothesline, misses, and eats a headscissors. Suicida off the ropes, and a reverses spin headscissors by Suicida this time. Out slides the rudo. Dive fake out and pose by Suicida. 911 in, and Bushi in, and 911 doesn't like this idea. Bushi is fired up. Reaction comparing. Bushi is over approximately 25 times more than I would've guessed. Either that, or a few people can make a lot of noise in Arena Naucalpan. Bushi off the ropes, under, over (with a roundoff!), springboard armdrag and 911 is out already. Bushi tells the Rudos to get out of his way – top rope plancha onto 911. Bushi comes back into pose – and gets hit by AK-47. Whip, reversed, Bushi heel kick, jumping heel kick, and a sweep kick. Bushi bends over the ropes to the apron, bends over the ropes to get back in the ring, and poses. Fantasma promptly slaps him in the side of the head. Maybe he'll stop doing that. Chest slap sends Bushi to the corner. Corner whip, reversed, Bushi charges in, Fantasma backdrops him to the apron, Bushi blocks his punch, then hits him in the midsection. Top rope 'rana, one two NO. Bushi dropkick sends Fantasma out – double springboard moonsault to the floor! Just cleared the ropes that one, but it was impressive. Also, 2 dives in about a minute there. Tag to Zatura, who is actually in this match, as little as it's seemed. Oficials discuss, but it looks like it'll be AK-47. Let me tell you, I will need about 9 more weeks of IWRG before I can tell these guys apart without looking at their name tags. (What are the odds this show lasts that long?) AK-47 shakes the ref hands, fools around and surprises Zatura with a bicycle kick. While Zatura recovers from that surprise, AK-47 shows off his wide array of movie martial arts poses. AK-47 tries to corner whip Zatura, but Zatura goes into a melody of random flips, landing on his knees during one of them, but bouncing up to get AK-47 with a headscissors. AK-47 madly charges at Zatura, and mad-charges past him, right out of the ring. Fantasma in, Zatura gets him with a headlock, shot off, and this goes nowhere before the blown spot. Zatura ends up behind Fantasma, making it easy for a back cracker. 911 in, 911 missing a clothesline, 911 offering his hands for a Zatura flip, Zatura catches a 911 punch with one arm, stuns him with a slap, and then flexes his right bicep back and forth before doing another slap. Another bicep pose, another slap. How weird is that. Springboard flipping armdrag sends 911 out, and Zatura follows with a slingshot headscissors, ending 911 out into the second rope. That was something. Zatura poses. AK-47 collects his man.
Técnicos wait for someone to come in, even though Fantasma is just standing there, doing nothing. Bushi in for the técnicos, 911 regretfully in for his team. He'd really like to stop facing Bushi. 911's top got unzipped somewhere in here, but he's going with it. Chet slap battle. Bushi off the ropes, 911 kicks him right in his clotheslining arm. Bushi tries a punch with the other hand, but 911 blocks it, and pulls him in a tirabuzón. Both técnicos come in, and breaking it up with a kick from the outside. AK-47 and Fantasma comes in, and the original two roll out. Técnicos with a headscissors to send the rudos slowly out. Rudos recover, and técnicos dropkick the thru the ropes, then set up on the apron. Suicida does an Asai twisting tope, while Zatura does a top rope Asia moonsault going over the barricade and into the Crowd on Fantasma. Bushi and 911 in. Bushi on the top rope, and missile dropkicking 911. One two NO. Seemed like a slow three there. Bushi slams 911, and heads up. (911 reaches to grab him, misses, and lays back down). Bushi’s top rope 450 hits (or hits enough), one two three.
Doctor checks on the técnicos on the outside – Suicida is slow up. Replays over 911 talking on the microphone – announcer talks right over him.
Back to the announcers. Perhaps, instead of the announcers, they could one day give us a graphic for these matches. Again, the main event is said to have Hijo del Lizmark in it.
Match 2: Angelico, El Alebrije, Super Porky vs Hijo del Cien Caras, Pirata Morgan, Veneno
Arena Naucalpan , 12/06/2009
Match Time: 19:04
Rating: Not good; usual comedy
Notes: O: Angelico takes Hijo de Lizmark's place, of course.
1: Porky slaps Veneno, but it starts with Angelico/Veneno instead. Angelico has a new fancy belt. Hooray for him. Or maybe it's just the one from last week, repaired. I’m being very short sided not talking about the wrestling while Angelico/Veneno are going, because it's not like the other técnicos are going to be any better. Still, this a lot of what they just did last week. They're interrupted before they get going by a Porky/Pirata argument, and then all the rudos arguing over Porky. Porky takes a chest slap from Veneno, then leads the crowd in chants. Somehow, this leads to the rudos slapping Pirata round to prove how tough he is, except Veneno goes too far. In response, Porky gets Cuije to work Veneno over. Porky takes an armdrag. Porky runs the ropes. Run in the wrong word there. Walks is still too strong. Rudos run themselves all in the same corner, and Porky pushes them down together. Can Porky even jump for the corner sit? Yes, but just barely. Crowd wants one more. I'm surprised he has it in him – oh, he doesn’t, the rudos move out of the way as Porky slowly walks over there. Pirata is to slow, and gets a Stink Face. Traditional Mexican wrestling! Alebrije in, with Pirata starting a chant for himself and it taking. These fans are too easy. Alebrije chant is louder. Pirata stops to tell off the técnicos. Pirata and Alebrije have a boxing match, with Veneno all fired up in the corner, and Cuije sneaking into punch Pirata from behind. Pirata can’t feel it, but can turn around and boot Cuije in the face. Alebrije responds by – getting the Crowd to chant mean things about Pirata. I guess he's even numb to Cuije getting beat up. Ah, nowhere he's checking on him, and is very sad. Alebrije drags Cuije to his feet, then has him working his boxing and his push ups. You know what, let me just tell you if anything not comedy happens. Alebrije and Pirata's tug of war on Cuije leads to an accidental giant swing by Alebrije, which somehow leads into a pose. Alebrije is less comedy with the rest, until Cuije races into to bite Veneno on the backside. Back to Pirata and Alebrije, where Pirata gets finished of by a second rope senton by Cuije. Off screen, Porky sits on Veneno for the other pin. Angelico gets Cien in his STF for good measure.
2: Angelico and Veneno feature enough edition of Veneno moving way before Angelico’s kicks come close. Angelico gets a showcase versus everyone. Porky in, just to do chops. Beatdown starts on Alebrije. I'm surprised they pull Porky in, because it's going too be hard for him to roll out. Lots of brawling, and Porky never does go out. IWRG either misses the pin on Alebrije, or he just gives up after taking a backdrop. Very odd. No replay is shown.
3: Beatdown continues between falls, including Pirata coming over to the announcers to yell. Porky is so fast, he moves out of the way of a corner charge and beat up all three técnicos himself. Some of this beating is dedicated to showing Pirata standing on the apron, doing nothing, instead of the beating. Porky goes after Cien Caras’ mask for a while, and there's a long shot of them while they get position. Crowd brawling. Crowd very into this, me not so much. Porky holds Cien in a choke while everyone else fights outside. Back to Veneno/Angelico, with Angelico doing his double stomp to the back to the floor as his dive. It's eh. Cien bites Super Porky's butt, and Cuije bits Cien Cara's butt, and they just stay there for a while. I don’t know what I’m watching. Angelico gives Veneno a spinning backbreaker in the middle of the ring, the other rudos throw themselves into position, Alebrije splashes the pile, Cuije walks over the pile and get tossed off and back on repeatedly, then Porky falls on top of them all. All the rudos push him off and get up, and batter the técnicos because they’re too busy celebrating. That usually is the finish, so I see their point. Veneno launches himself out of the ring with a slingshot con giro onto Alebrije, and Cien does a mighty clothesline off the apron. Porky slams Pirata, but the camera misses. Porky climbs up the ropes, Pirata fouls him, and fakes his own foul. Referees debate, debate, debate even longer, continue to debate, and then give it to Pirata.