on Televisa #937 (05/08/2010)
Recap: Sexi & Alex winning the mixed tag, Sabu showing up, Wagner having problems with his old partners but not Sabu (random shot of the Japanese?), Mesías' shoulder injury that was pretty much ignored last week, and Parka vs Park. Also, Zorro talking to his secret friend, and Dorian promising one more surprise.
La Parka makes the case that he's the real Parka, since LA Park abandoned them to go to the United States. La Parka is the property of AAA and Antonio Pena, just like the names of Latin Lover, Alebrije, Psicosis, Histeria, Octagon and many more. The guy in AAA is the guy who's really LA Park, so he's real La Parka is him. Fans are behind him, and Parka says he's doing this for the fans. Parka says Dorian has no respect for the fans or for AAA for bringing LA Park back in here. There's no room for two Parka's here, so he wants a fight with Park, one on one, no more sneak attacks, and they'll decide a winner. LA Park has been talking for years, but no more talking, now's the time to settle it.
Jennifer Blake and Rain get ready backstage, including an amazingly gratuitous butt shot of Jennifer. Rain, who seems to be checking out the same thing the rest of us, decides this is the time to tell Jennifer how much she missed her and go for a hug. Rain and Jennifer have a amazingly fake conversation, the point of which is they're really international stars and the Apaches haven't been to Japan in five years so they're not. Rain explains the Apaches have no class and also smell. And are also nacos, according to Konnan. Rudas promise a good old fashion American beatdown (by the way of Scotland?) Fist bump explosion! Okay,l now you've won me back.
Dr. Wagner dramatically walks into the building. Slow motion, too. Can you tell it's a three match week?
Konnan and Dorian dramatically walking to the ring, Dorian nodding at something, Joaquin's face covered in blood, Marcela in the crowd, Joaquin down at the mat two TripleManias ago after his nose had been broken, Marcela watching horrifying in the crowd, HYSTERICAL CRYING CHILD, Dorian giving a look of shock to unseen man (LA Park) in car. That was so weird, it needed to be recorded in detail.
Blade & Rain vs Fabi
Apache & Mari Apache
Plaza de Toros la Concordia de Orizaba , 04/17/2010
Match Time: 7:24 (3:32+3:52)
Rating: not their best, but crowd was way in it.
Notes: It is “Blade” this week. I don't know about the rudas gear this week. Jennifer looks like her luggage got lost and she's making due with whatever she could find. They do the Beautiful People entrance, I think. I'd have to pay more attention to TNA to know. Piero is ref.
Apaches run over the rudas for the first couple minutes, until Blade turns around a whip and Fabi accidentally kicks her sister. Rain has figured out she can just stay however long as she'd like in the ring, Blade is out of practice and keeps going back for tags. Blade works in a broom choke on Fabi, who's stuck in the ring alone for a while. Mari comes to break up a pin. Blade tries to throw her out, but Mari just holds onto the ropes. Blade tries to kick/choke her out of the ring, but Mari's decided she's not leaving. Camera just focuses on this, of course.
Koslov Cam: Alex walks thru the park, and talks about things he doesn't like. Perros (clips of him throwing Cibernetico's dog), little girls (beating up Fabi, and taping her out), but the woman are crazy over Alex (clips). Alex tells the ladies not to be intimidated by his looks. As usual, not sure what the point of this was.
And now a tease for Sabu/Wagner. Break.
Teaser for the main event.
And finally, back to the match. Since Mari wont' leave, rudas fight out to double team here, including a Boston crab, sort of camel clutch spot. Fabi gets up to help, and gets kicked down. Mari is whipped into a corner, Fabi in to her – but Mari pushes her sister to safety and clotheslines the rudas. Mari stands them back up for Fabi's missile dropkick. Fabi grabs the broom, but Piero grabs it away from her. Hijo de Tirantes runs to the ring – why? He and Piero discuss, and Fabi dropkicks Tirantes off the apron. Mari puts Blade in a tapatía, shaking about, but Blade does not give. Whip, reverses, Blade thrust kick, one two Fabi breaks it up. Tirantes is still recovering on the outside. Fabi runs Blade over with a big boot, then drops her with a fisherman's suplex. One two break. Rain picks up Fabi and gets into a slap fight. Even battle, but Rain wins by using forearms. Whip, quick reverse, Fabi Apache takes out rain with a German suplex. No bridge. Tirantes checks on Rain, who's out under the ropes. Fabi argues with Piero for a second, then kicks Rain in the head, scoops her on her shoulder, hold her there for a Mari kick, and then dumps rain on the ground, one two Blade breaks it up a beat late – Piero stopped counting there, it was kind of notable. He's done that a lot lately, but this was more noticeable. Mari DDTs Blade, Rain stands on the apron and yells USA right before Fabi kicks her into Tirantes' arms, both tumbling to the ground. Hmmm. Devil's Wings on Blade, Mari adds the top rope senton con giro, one two three. Crowd approves.
Tirantes storms the rings and shoves Mario. Fabi shoves Tirantes, Tirantes shoves back, and Fabi slaps him. Tirantes reels, then grabs Fabi in a choke. Piero tops that with a broom stick shot to the back. Tirantes is down and out, and Mari uses the broke half of the handle to chase Jennifer around before hitting Tirantes a bit.
Zorro – well he's screaming loudly and yelling no, so I'm thinking he's not happy, though I have no idea what about. It's not possible, I guess.
In the AAA studio, Arturo chats with Electroshock. He's going to shut up Wagner, and he's giving Ultimo Gladiador the choice of joining the stupid Dr. Wagner & Pimpinela team or the awesome Silver King & Electroshock team. Electroshock wants a cage match with Wagner?
Arturo reminds us about Mesías' hurt shoulder. Moving on, Arturo promises upcoming announcements about international wrestlers coming to Mexico. And onto La Parka/LA Park. What will it be? Arturo suggests bull terrier, I'm voting for any match but that. Arturo asks the fans who they think will win. Moving on even more, Arturo talks with Joe Lider, to recap that breakup with the Legion. Konnan stopped getting them the bling bling! Lider also took up the offer of a free NOAH t-shirt.
Christopher Daniels, probably from a TNA X-Division DVD, discusses the Fallen Angel character. I think this is supposed to be an out of character look at the character, but it's presented as if he's talking about himself in the third person oddly. At least it's a strong introduction; imagine how helpful this could be if they actually did it for someone full time in the company.
And so end the news.
Konnan says LA Park is the original, and the bigger star, and La Parka Jr. is just a copy. Well, if he says it, then OK. Why is he in a smoky room?
Dr. Wagner Jr. vs Sabu video package, which is actually just the longer version of the clips of the Wagner stuff to start the show, plus Sabu getting ready. It's not bad, but maybe they should've shown this on more than five seconds before the match?
Wagner Jr. vs Sabu
Plaza de Toros la Concordia de Orizaba , 04/17/2010
Match Time: 6:02 (3:45+2:17)
Rating: absurd, anticlimactic
Notes: Sabu has ICP pants, an XLAW shirt, throws a chair in the ring, then slides it back out. Piero is ref. Crowd has absolutely no idea who this man is. They are familiar with this Dr. Wagner fellow. Sabu has a conversation with Piero about something as Dr. Wagner poses. Sabu is very bald. Arturo says this is a traditional singles matches. Maybe not so much!
If you like chairs thrown at people, this is the match for you. Showing remarkable restraint, it took until after the first break for Sabu to pull out the first chair. Wagner immediately took control and went for a powerbomb, but Sabu backdropped out of it and set Wagner on top. Arturo likes saying Sabu's name like he's Scooby Doo, for reasons I can't possible hope to understand. Sabu comes off the top with a knee drop (?!?), and Wagner moves, so thru the table Sabu goes. Sabu is reversing a whip about 15 seconds later. (It does help that Wagner spends half that time looking at the crowd and standing there.) Sabu kicks Wagner a few times, but Wagner gets in a kick and Wagner Driver. One two three. That was utterly pointless!
Wagner says “Bien” two dozen times. Arturo echoes him. Sabu has vanished. The Legion will never quiet the name Wagner. Wagner demands Silver King and Electroshock present themselves in the ring right now so he can beat them up for turning on him. They opt not to show, which Wagner believes means they're scared. Still killing time. We've got 50 minutes and one match left, take your time.
A red headed woman sits on Konnan's lap. Tough being Konnan. Konnan is explaining the concept of he Foreign Legion, as Rain, Jennifer, Hernandez, Chessman (wearing sunglasses!) and Dorian walk in. Konnan asks about Zorro, but they confirm Zorro's off being insane somewhere. Anyway, Konnan got Dorian this woman, Nikia, to be his secretary. Konnan explains all the work she can do for Dorian, then spins her around – that's an important job, the ability to spin. Dorian appreciates the help, she's happy for the job. Hooray employment. Dorian says he's got a big plan for his mom and dad tonight, a big jump to here. Konnan says Dorian is the man in charge, so they're doing what he wants to do, and they'll celebrate later.
Hernandez video package over that interview from two weeks ago.
El Mesías, Heavy Metal vs Chessman,
Plaza de Toros la Concordia de Orizaba , 04/17/2010
Match Time: 10:45 (5:20+5:35)
Rating: eh. Usual match with these guys. Strange how the post match angle had absolutely nothing to do with the match.
Notes: Zorro has returned fine to enter here, though it's funny to watch him pose for fireworks which don't exist this week. Mesías has a taped elbow this week. Not sure how that helps his shoulder, but maybe it's taped under the shirt? Break, then Konnan get his own introduction. Hijo de Tirantes is ref, and discusses things with Konnan on the way to the ring. Oh, Konnan is special announcer.
Legion beatdown for 3m30s, then Cibernético starts a comeback by avoiding a Chessman charge (missed by the camera), picking up a chair, having trouble folding it up, weakly tossing it at Zorro (Tirantes sadly shakes his head!), and weakly slapping Hernandez. It is so bad, but it picks up for the next few seconds before the rudos get control back. Metal is so worried about this, he goes asks the fans if he should run back in. Chessman and Metal are weird and badly timed against each other. Metal does not get his hands up on a Zorro chair shot.
Next week: LA Park accepts La Parka challenge?
Next week: Wagner vs WagnerManiacs. What this has to do with the renaissance era paintings they show to accompany this, I dunno.
After another minute and a half of a beatdown, Mesías just throws Chessman down on his head, then avoids a Zorro superkick that connects with Hernandez instead. Zorro leaves, gets the cane, and this Mesías in the shoulder. Cibernético grabs the cane away and helps Mesías to safety as the match just suddenly goes to one on ones. After Cibernético/Chessman fun, Heavy Metal spends a half minute trying to talk the injured Mesías into going back in to face Hernandez instead of him. That doesn't work, now does Metal versus Hernandez. Konnan seems a lot more interested in the match when Hernandez is in. Metal gets control when Hernandez misses a charge and throws himself out. Metal adds his thru the ropes dropkick, but celebrates and gets yanked around by his hair. Hernandez tries to ram Metal into the post, but reverses and Metal takes it instead. Back inside, Mesías chops Zorro with his bad arm. Somehow, this works for him. Zorro figures out to grab the bad arm, puts on an armbar, and – an omaplata? And it works? Tirantes calls it, that's the match. Random time and move for the match to end. Mesías was wriggly as if his arm was going to be broken, so it's not like Tirantes cheated him. Break.
Cibernético covers up Mesías from any more attack. Joaquin Roldan and Vampiro come to the ring for no apparent reason. Hmm, wonder where this can be going. Konnan can't believe Vampiro is here. Metal celebrates on the middle rope, and Vamprio shoves him off to the floor. Joaquin shoves Vampiro, and backs towards Cibernético. Cibernético grabs Vampiro in a choke, but Vampiro fouls him. Joaquin shoves Vampiro in the back and yells at him; man, that guy is dumb for a lawyer. Run! Joaquin talks, is shoved down. Reaction shot of Marcela being shocked. Mesías up, and running into a boot. Vampiro connected with the bad arm, and cranks the arm a few times. Joaquin is still standing in the ring and yelling at Vampiro. Stop shoving him, that's not working. Vampiro shoves Roldan down again, then throws Mesías in the corner shoulder first. Joaquin takes off his coat, he's serious now. Vampiro headbutts him. Legion is watching from the outside, confused, but Hernandez throws in a table. And helps Vampiro set it up. Konnan is still confused. Dorian is out watching this. Crowd screams in horror as Hernandez picks up Joaquin and loads him to Vampiro, sitting on the top rope. Hernandez positions the table, as Arturo screams about not knowing what's going on. They've got time to figure out it out as Hernandez turns the table all the way around. Dorian does the Batista thumbs up/thumbs down bit, not that Vampiro is even looking at him – Vampiro Spike thru the table. Reaction shot from Marcela. Crowd cheers as – - well, we don't see, but they eventually pan over to show Zorro standing over two people (Generico and maybe Extreme Tiger?), so they were a bit late for a save. Dorian and Vampiro hug. Hernandez and chessman shake hands with Vampiro. Zorro and Vampiro are about to have a meaningful embrace, so they cut away to a replay of the Vampiro driver. Cibernético helps Marcela in the ring, which seems a dumb idea, but the rudos just let Marcela walk over to Dorian and slap him three times. Doctor and medical personal check on Joaquin. He's out, and carried off on a stretcher. Good look at Generico this time. Legion poses with Vampiro, though Konnan's nowhere to be seen. He's not with the announcers either.
Zorro rants to Vampiro about how great a team they'd be. He turns to go, but Vampiro wants to say the words of the prophet – Welcome to the Darkness.