AAA Mini Line - 11/29/08 (#861)
Recap: 12/01/08

Previously: Brazos didn't get along, HF2 won matches but not the titles, and Konnan won.

Today: Relevos AAA, ladder match, Cibernetico

Promo: El Brazo

Promo: Brazo de Plata. Porky pulls a Tazz and takes off his sunglasses to let us know he's serious. And then puts them back on to make a hair/hair challenge. This goes on long enough for Porky to quote the Terminator, twice. 

Match 1: Cinthia Moreno, El Brazo, Mini Abismo Negro, Polvo de Esterllas (c) vs Fabi Apache, Mascarita Sagrada 2007, Pimpinela Escarlata (c), Super Porky in a mini lumberjack strap match
Estadio Beto Ávila, Veracruz, Veracruz, 10/24/08

Winner: Tecnicos
Match Time: 11:28
Notes: No entrances. The minis from last week's match are on the outside with straps, because they needed a random stip for this match. Hijo de Tirantes is ref. Polvo's captain? That team is doomed for sure. Break before the match, so this was like a three minute segment. 

Polvo and Pimpi fight over who gets to kiss Hijo de Tirantes, and then there's a sudden jarring clip. And crowd shots. Sagrada/Abismo doesn't go long, Pimpi/Polvo is clipped to Polvo going outside and getting strapped. Polvo gets headscissors out to get strapped again, and everyone aims for the backside. Fabi/Cinthia is good, as is Cinthia working over Porky after Brazo slaps Fabi to make the save. Cinthia being whipped into porky doesn't work, but Fabi is amazingly able to backdrop Brazo. Tecnico dropkick the rudas out, which would normally be there to set up the dives but we get strapped instead. Porky tricks Fabi into kissing him on the lips - he's obviously been paying attention to Pimpi. Brazo/Sagrada almost has a ref stoppage. Sagrada is barely as tall as Brazo's gut, but still manages to dropkick him down. One of the dropkicks is so powerful, the show broadcast magically becomes a lot brighter. Sagrada/Abismo features random crowd shots. Abismo almost takes the tactic of attacking the lumberjacks to prevent getting beat, but ends up retreating after getting hit. Pimpi's offense is well done, but all kinds of slow. Octagoncito seems to have issues with Cinthia Moreno. Big clip to a Porky/Brazo sequence, which also turns into crowd shots, and sit seems to end that way too. Just way too many clips to follow. Fabi gets a run on everyone, and all the rudos end up outside and strapped.  Just when I was wondering if a a tecnico is ever going out of the ring, Pimpi gets knocked out and use a photographer as a human shield. Brazo and Porky face off in the ring, Brazo bites Porky on the lip (ewww) and they grab each other and roll out. Minis straps have no effect on them, and the Brazos take the straps away and go after the minis (instead of, you know, each other.) Cinthia is sent out and takes a silla from Fabi. Sagrada has a nifty headscissors. Led by Abismo, everything seem to be) and a flying headscissors to the floor. Exoticas left in, Polvo goes face fist into Pimpi's backside, Pimpi kisses Hijo de Tirantes, headscissors, 'rana, one two three. Immediate break. 

And back for more post match celebrating. There's plenty of places with tons of people, but there's also this completely empty section to camera right that I didn't notice last week. Replays.  

Vignette: DX/Legion. I like how "knucklehead" is translated to Teddy. I bet you could look it up. Nice work of showing Jack running away while Jack talks about defending Teddy. Nicki is buried in an edit too. This turns into X-Pac's promo form last week with highlights form last week.

Noti AAA
- Tiffany returns soon
- Psicosis was in Germany. Now he's not. They have photos! This goes on for a while, longer than he lasted last week
- AAA opened new offices

Vignette: tag team ladder match participants. There's a lot of DGM for a match that features no DGM. Jack starting to drop random bits of Spanish in his promos makes great things ever greater.  

Match 2: Joe Lider & Nicho el Millionario vs Jack Evans & Teddy Hart vs Alan Stone & Chris Stone in AAA World Tag Team Championship ladder match
Estadio Beto Ávila, Veracruz, Veracruz, 10/24/08

Winner: Lider & Nicho
Match Time: 14:47 (7:18+7:29)
Notes: No entrances, but in-ring introductions, which go as long as entrances might. Piero is ref. Is Nicho going to wrestle in his coat? Can they not show him doing the crotch chop? Why is he still doing it when that's someone else's bit? Break before the match. Nikki is here, completely fine after the times she's been killed recently.

I have no interest in seeing this match again. I also have no interest in Alan's chaps, but there they are. HF2 get to do all their spots on everyone (goes worst with Alan, surprisingly enough) for a good four minutes. This culminates with Jack standing on Teddy's shoulders as Lider's laid out on the middle rope. The belts are low enough that I thought for a second they were just going to skip the ladder part and walk over to have Jack grab them (making this the shortest ladder match ever), but it instead turns out to be a really odd way to do a moonsault stomp on Lider. This wipes out the HF2 enough for Alan to come in and start a run.  Jack rallies back against Alan, and Chris makes the strange choice of actually using a ladder in this ladder match, using it to walk up the ropes for his springboard splash. Stones showcase from there, which lasts about 1/8th as long before HX comes in to do their stuff.  (Opening spot - drop toe hold onto a ladder.) I like how they also whip Jack in much a way he has to hop over a ladder while running. Double Buca Storm on Jack, who looks not to have enjoyed that at all. Break after Lider suplexes Teddy onto a ladder, almost knocking the sparkles glitter off him.

Crucifix bomb/flying legdrop almost drives Teddy head first into a ladder, because no one was paying attention. Chris stops their run with some awful chair shots (but at least they're not stupid hard - also, Lider puts both hands up and ducks out of taking one, so he may be learning.) Chris, rule breaker, actually climbs a ladder to grab for the belts. Jack pulls down Chris's pants, then pulls him down.  Jack climbs, Lider climbs the ladder the other side faster than any man has ever done and starts punching. The third of these punches causes Jack Evans not to simply fall off the ladder, but moonsault off the ladder onto two men. Everyone single law of physics was broken in that move, and Nicho didn't even catch him. (Chris did.) Lider, all the way up at the top with no one to stop him from grabbing the belts, looks for someone to please stop him from grabbing the belts. Teddy and Alan shake the ladder, then climb up. Nicho joins them. Alan gets knocked off first, then Teddy kinda back suplexes him and Lider to the ground, and Nicho, left alone with the belts, jumps off the ladder. Have I told you in the last five minutes how much I hate these matches? Let me tell you, I hate these matches. Teddy grams Nicho into the ladder, breaking it, then gets in his Canadian Destroyer backbreaker. I'm making that Teddy Hart Bingo card, if it kills me. Nikki starts a USA chant and is bad at that, if you can imagine such a thing possible. Jack and Teddy set up ladder, set up Nicho, and have some master plan which doesn't appear to be actually grabbing the belts. Whatever it is, Lider tips Teddy into Jack, who flies out of the ring and all the way to the floor, with nothing to break his fall. He's dead for sure this time. (Nikki seems unconcerned.) Hey, look, a table. Why am I typing any of this? These spots should not be noted for permanently record, the whole theory of AAA is that things should never be remembered, particularly not next week. Though Teddy will probably remember that cut and the big bruise on his back next week. After HX beats up Chris some more, Alan tries to ride a ladder into them. Piero, having no idea what Alan is doing, tries to hold the ladder up, causing Alan's side of the ladder just to careen into the mat, short. Piero shrugs his shoulders. That's a highlight. I should just hold off until we get to breaking tables. Piero helps HX set up a two stack of tables, right und the belts, and then set up a ladder next to it. Chris is slammed, not on the tables. Why? Oh, so he can crotch Nicho when Nicho tries for a top rope move. After setting up all these props, Lider decides he'd like to go climb the ladder and win the match without using any of them. That's really happening. Alan and Lider punch each other out. Lider knocks Alan down, but Alan shoves the ladder over. Lider jumps off so he can - hit the ladder flat? I don't know, it looked down and probably hurt more. CLIP. Nicho and Alan are now battling on top of the ladder, about at table height. Piero holds the ladder in place (yet again) and Nicho suplexes them both off the side. Despite falling from hallway up the ladder, Nicho pops up and resets the ladder. Piero talks him down so he can move the ladder into better position. Nicho climbs the ladder, and holds up when Chris is slow to grab him. Chris somehow climbs over Nicho, in incredibly staged fashion, so Nicho can toss him off onto the tables. It doesn't look that violent of an impact (even though Chris hits just one side of the table - he's not Chessman, so the tables break, but not in his spot. Nicho grabs the belts and pulls them down - and the elastic string holding them just stretches with him as he falls to the mat. Nicho hangs from the belts, about 2 feet off the mat, and can't get tem untied until Lider can come over to do it for him. What an ending. Yay it's over!  Break.

No replays.

Video Package: they're onto the cage match recap. They edit Super Fly even leaving the cage, which is hilarious. There's actual a narrative in this video package, yay. Haha, they edit "Roldan" over Dorian's name. it's not very subtle.

Interview: soon to be ex Prez Roldan. He still want the ashes back, and complains that the match contract stated no interference, so he shouldn't have to give up control. 

Vignette: Zorro, ranting about Cibernetico and smashing things. This goes on for a while, if the transitions are to be believed. This may just be Zorro yelling random people's names and then breaking things.  Now he's sad. Such a complicated man, that Zorro. No, he tore off the cross Now he's got shards of glass and - I have no idea of this is supposed to be suicidal Zorro or what. Probably should've have an idea.

Vignette: Charly Manson tries to talk some sense into Chessman. He should know better. Chessman proposes a new, slimmer, trimmer, two man Hell Brothers, but he need to know where Charly stands right now - does he e stand with Chessman, or does he stand with the guy randomly helping Mesias? Charly says the Hell Brothers can only be three, Cibernetico, Chessman, and Charly.  Two does not work.  Chessman points out it was Cibernetico who said there was no Hell Brothers, so Charly has to be sticking with him (as he turns to the camera to rant.) Charly says the HBs will be back.

Video Package: Chessman/Cibernetico. There's Cibernetico saying no HBs again. Couldn't they just make Oz the new third guy? I guess Chessman wouldn't be down for that. And also Zorro is here as well. WHY DID KONNAN LEAVE HIM BEHIND? Why do they keep teasing me with that shot? In a shocking turn of events, this video package features a lot of Konnan for a feud he's not actually in.       

Match 3: Zorro vs Chessman vs Cibernetico
Estadio Beto Ávila, Veracruz, Veracruz, 10/24/08

Winner: Chessman
Match Time: 9:10
Other Match Notes: Entrances for this match, of course. The cross Zorro ripped off his neck in that vignette is back around his neck, perfectly fine. Break before the match. Piero is ref and having lots of trouble with his ear piece. I like how this is a match featuring the champion versus his two top contenders, and there's no thought of it being a title match, nor any reason for it not to. 

Chessman jumps Cibernetico and beats him down, while Zorro patiently readies his cane, and jabs Chessman in the head with it. Zorro takes turns kicking both guys, before Cibernetico gets to clothesline both.  The Chessman gets to kick both. That's how it's going go, I guess. Chessman's run is stopped when he tries a corner clothesline, and Zorro clips him with a thrown cane shot. Zorro leaves to get a chair, then throws it at Cibernetico. Zorro working over Cibernetico, Cibernetico making a comeback, Chessman putting a stop to that, clip. Chessman and Cibernetico take it to the crowd, and the fans more want to get a piece of Cibernetico then they're scared of the fight. Zorro follows around in the ring. Cibernetico and Zorro brawl all the way to the bleaches, thanks to a convenient placed ladder.  I never knew you could pull man by his hair, and it's forces him to walk up a ladder. This is as uncompelling as a crowd brawl as they come., mostly because they can't even get thru the crowd for room to brawl (and people are more interested in moving IN the way then out of it, because it's Cibernetico. Not a lot of security help.) They finally get the two steps it takes to get in position for the big bump, and Chessman throws off the barricade onto a table. The good thing is they got the shot. The bad thing is it's Chessman, so the table didn't break in the slightest and he bounced hard to the floor. Yet again. 

Zorro, always here to help, wanders over and powerbombs Chessman thru the table, which breaks clean this time. And a crotch chop. And a clip. Zorro takes Cibernetico back thru the crowd, which doesn't work much better than it did the first time. Zorro swinging a chair at Cibernetico on the way thru probably isn't a great idea either. Piero somehow did not count anyone out this whole time, and Chessman is back at ringside right behind the other two. Zorro takes apart Cibernetico with his cane. For a while. Cibernetico stops this by just grabbing the cane and taking it way from him, making Zorro look as weak as possible. Cibernetico stupidly throws down the cane, so Zorro just picks up the chair and hits him with that instead. What an idiot Cibernetico turned out to be. Zorro celebrates being Zorro, and Chessman crawls in and covers Cibernetico about eight seconds after he's been hit. One two three. Zorro has no idea the match is over. Cibernetico immediately recovers and rolls out of the ring. Oh, wait, this is elimination? 

Zorro is upset about Cibernetico being pinned, even though that's not the finish. Clip here. Chessman suddenly has a light tube to battle Zorro's cane, and Chessman wins. Take back whatever I said about Zorro being smart when he just took a light bulb tube to the head. One two three. In AAA, is that a clean win? The post Cibernetico segment was even shorter than it reads.

Charly Manson comes to ringside, and gets Chessman and Cibernetico to stay in the ring. There's no time left in the show, so Charly quickly asks the crowd if they want the Hell Brothers. They say Si. Chessman says I'd like to go punch Cibernetico, and those two brawl to the floor. Security tires, fails to get them apart. Well, I don't think this is going to work, Charly. Charly needs help walking everywhere, by the way. I don't know who these people are who said he might back in December or November, he's clearly not even close. Charly gets hit in the leg while trying to check on Chessman, and is in a lot of pain before needing help to get up.

Only video replays to end the show are only of the main event.