CMLL Mini Line - 05/29/04 (#131)
Welcome To The Show Vignette: Mascara Ano 2000 and his ugly hairy chest. That's so not guapo.
Vignette: Shocker Instructs The Guapo U Class In The Ring. This is rather long. Shocker explains the Mexican Trios Tournament, and sets up for the first trios match (which isn't actually part of the tournament, not that they make that clear here): Koreano, Misterioso (Jr.) and Lobo Vikingo (rudos) vs Leono, Tiger Metalico, Brazo de Plata (tecnicos). The Guapos in the ring is actually split in to tecnico and rudo factions, hanging out on opposing sides of the ring with Shocker, Magica and Terrible in the middle. After the match is announced, we're interrupted by a guys in a Pierroth mask and a muscle suit (who declares himself to be Winnie the Kid), with skinny goon and fat goon. Masked Dude has a high pitched voice and declares that everyone should be in his university, because "the Winnie the Kid University is the best way to learn fighting!" Shocker says they're here to learn to fight as trios, Winnie points to the guys behind them to say he's got a trio, but Shocker disagrees - the fat guy is so fat, it's more of a four man team. Winnie asks him to stop making fun of his goons, because it's not like he's making fun of Fabian el Gitano's (I think) mask. Shocker gives him a "haha you're so not funny" chuckle, and Winnie tells him to calm down before slapping him. Shocker has to be held back from a beatdown by everyone, but Winnie keeps talking him into trouble. Winnie wants a fight right now, but the goons look at the numbers and quickly change sides. Winnie tells them to bring it anyway. Shocker sends his secret weapon after Winnie - Monito! Winnie gives a evil laugh, and rants so more. I think he wants to teach gym and sex ed if he wins. The guapos cheer for Monito , as Winnie gets on his knees to promise to be easy on him, and gets kicked low. The chase is on, Monito leading Winnie right into a Shocker scoop and very gentle slam. Monito second rope splash! BITING HIS HAND! Winnie gives up, rather than giving up his hand. Winnie says they might have won this time, etc etc etc etc. He gets chased off, and the goons shake hands with the Guapos. They leave - passing Loco Max having an argument with a stuffed animal? Loco starts to head into yell for another shot at the Guapos once again, but changes his mind. And leaves with the stuffed animal.
I am not making any of this up. Either there's a joke that flew right out of my head because I don't live Mexico, or this was quite the most random thing on CMLL in some time. And it went on for some time too.
Anyway, it was distracting enough that it took about a week for me to pick this up again.
Match 1: Shocker (c), Atlantis, Hijo de Lizmark vs Ultimo Guerrero (c), Dr. Wagner, Emilio Charles
Arena Coliseo, 03/09/04
Atlantida on Wagner (1:01)
Winner: Tecnicos (2-1)
Match Time: 4:43
Approx Rating: 72
Vignette: This is a rare full match from Arena Coliseo; even if you thought the introductions were dubbed in later (which would be far more effort than they usually do), Wagner's still fighting in his entrance coat for the first minute. Typical by the numbers match focusing on the two death feuds and your standard CMLL trios formula. There's a nice double headbutt spot by Wagner and Emilio in the first fall which I don't notice till they replays. Some Monito goofyness, of course. Just as the second fall starts, they throw it to break, and distractingly pick up the instant they went to break, with no transition from the break to action. Shocker turns the tide on Ultimo with little warning or build, but we may have had the actual comeback clipped out and this is the post-comeback one on one sequence. Lots of heel double teaming gone wrong versus Atlantis, but they make it more elaborate than the usual "hold 'em and chop" bits. Camera angles doesn't help; things aren't exposed, but you don't get the full impact of Atlantis outsmarting the rudos because of the angles they choose, just the rudos looking dumb. Second fall finish is the end of an elaborate sequence which also saw Atlantis, Shocker and Monito all get in splashes before Lizmark topped it off and everyone posed. Emilio and Shocker seem to remember they hate each other, which is always nice. Finish to the fall seem absurdly fast; there was an opening for a clip at the beginning of the fall, but the ending sequence is still done in the kind of hurry you expect for an injury or the building being on fire. Yet, they had plenty of time for Monito shenanigans after the match, with Ultimo pressing Monito and throwing him out of the ring - where Shocker happened to be standing and ready to catch.
Stellar Moments: Super Comando pulled out a Gory Neckbreaker that looked pretty good, though Astro Boy helped there. Astro Boy has a nice moonsault too. Park's bodyscissors powerbomb still looks good.
Vignette: Universo and Cien meet with The Mysterious Guy In Black Who's Never Named. Cien looks awesomely stuck in the 70s here. Your usual battle plan to take out Aguayo and Terrible to derail Perro's quest against Universo.
Match 3: L. A. Park, Black Warrior, Hijo de Perro
Aguayo (c) vs Capos (Universo (c), Cien, Apolo)
Arena Mexico, 03/12/04
Winner: Capos (2-1)
Match Time: 9:23
Approx Rating: 76
Other Match Notes: Perhaps it's because he's fresher than guys who are as good or better, or gets more air time than lower card guys who fit that description, but Park's the most interesting guy on this show for quite some time. Still, not great hopes for this one. What an odd collection of tecnicos too, with Warrior and Perro being rudo-ish tecnicos who are on the side of good more because they're fighting bad guys than anything else, and Park who's as tecnico as they come nowadays. And now I've spent more time thinking about the lineup than they did, so let's move on.
Formula. Universo at least has the sense to use Perro's coat to hang him. The first fall goes on far longer than it really need to just so all the Capos can get in big spots. When the moves aren't going to mean anything a couple minutes later, it doesn't seem like the best use of time.
Vignette: (your buddy) Canek is coming! Prepare to be mildly excited! 04/26! This goes on too long too.
I start begging for the comeback when they get to Aguayo, just so we can all move on with our lives, and Aguayo does not disappoint, ducking a double clothesline and dropkicking a clueless Caras; a less staged looking turnaround than usual. Warrior's turn to get in his moves, with Apolo being his victim. Aguayo is still throwing people into the first couple rows. It loses impact when people have to stand around for ten seconds to wait for the fans to clear, and, of course, when it's done every week. Warrior wants to pull of a corner clothesline/DDT combo, and Apolo is only aware of half of it, making for an awkward moment. Hilarious, while Aguayo is beating up Cien in an empty seat, the two fans in the neighboring seats opt not to abandon ground and just shield their bodies from the fight. Warrior and Apolo continue to have a match/Warrior spot demonstration in the ring while the other four brawl outside the ring, though Warrior eventually just grabs a hammerlock and waits for everyone to get settled. Warrior and Park's sequence seems like it should end with stereo topes, but Warrior aborts his at the last second, which seems very strange till Aguayo knocks down the rudo left standing with his dive instead. Back to Apolo and Warrior, with Apolo getting rudely clotheslined out to step up a (even faster than usual) tope - that gets Park! Apolo ducked down, it seems. Aguayo's the only tecnico left standing (funny how dives hurt you more if you hit your teammate), which means it's story time. Capos maul him with kicks for a while, with the refs showing corner because the last thing you want in wrestling is violence. Lots of strikes, lots of holding Aguayo from moving. Aguayo doesn't make a big deal of refusing to quit or making the selling look very dramatic, but to his defense, we're looking at the back of his head far more than the front of it. Backs of heads are notoriously expression less. Eventually the Capos decide to pin Aguayo. No sooner then they get the three count, Perro Sr. is out and cleaning house. This really should've been Terrible's spot, or maybe he needed to help out, because this is just a cameo. Perro gets the best of the Capos one on one, but Universo ambushes him from behind and tries to kill him once again with a Tombstone. Perro Jr. bails him out there. Warrior recovers enough to bring the small step into the ring, but apparently not enough to avoid taking a pretty obvious attack. We go to replays instead of seeing if the situation resolves itself, though you can helpfully hear people crashing to the mat underneath.
Back live, there's not much going on. Really, all you got is Perro Jr. tied to the ropes by wrist tape, unable to help as they choke out his own dad and rip of his shirt, his teammates also taken out. We get a replay of the non-tombstone, then the extreme far away shot as they read the production credits and end the show, instead of getting any final scene on the beatdown.
Post Show Thoughts: You know, production on this show has never been what any sane person would call good, but this is really the worst job they've done in quite some time. It wasn't a matter of time constraints, it was just a terrible presentation of what time they had. Many bad camera choices, many bad replay decisions. Not choosing a camera angle that showed Perro Jr.'s facial expressions as he was being beat down by the Capos is an incredible flaw, and whoever was directing the show seemed to be giving little thought to what they were presenting. In that context, things like random cuts and clips make a lot more sense, and the lack of interest I've had in rewatch these programs is a bit more justifiable. (You could take "every match is the same until the last fall finish" as a better reason if you'd like.)
Either they were making the double hair match storyline up as they went, or they took a major right turn in the wake of event, because where it's leading after it demands Terrible be put in a bigger spot light going into the match. There were a couple points where he could've improved his credibility - making the initial save instead of Perro Sr., or making a followup save after Perro Jr. got tied into the ropes - and instead it's just another episode in the Aguayos vs the Capos. It's very strange how everything gets switched post hair match and that feud gets dropped. It's surely going to come back later (old lucha feuds never die, they just take time off till a show with a bigger gate), but one of the problems here is things get built up as huge and important and end up getting dropped off with no mention for months on end. It's hard to sustain an interest if they bookers can't do the same.
I'm sure there are worst collections of matches, but this show was so completely useless and means less on a huge delay, I don't know why you'd bother to watch it unless you had a bizarre dedication to watching every one of these shows.